A/N: Had it finished! There are some missing in between scenes here, but to get those check out Littles Out in The World, Chapter 18: Once Upon a Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Julie, everyone else is mine!

Jaime and Cal: Part II: Always

"Julie, please!" Jaime groaned, jiggling the baby girl against her shoulder. Her daughter was crying. She was always crying. "I don't know what you want! You're not hungry, and you're not wet, and you just woke up, what do you want?"

"Hey girls," Cal walked in. "Oof, what's Julie carrying on about?"

"I don't know," she sighed, "I think she might just hate me."

"Ah no way," Cal said, "here, I bet she just misses her Daddy right?" He took Julie and gently rocked her. The baby immediately quieted. "That's my good girl." Jaime sighed and sat down.

"I'm a terrible mother," she grumbled.

"You are not," he laughed, "she just can sense when you get stressed out, so she gets stressed out." Jaime looked at him. "You don't think Mommy's terrible, do you Julie? No I don't," he said in a baby voice holding her up. "I do not at all. I love my mommy soo much."

"OK," she laughed, "quit goofing off. Don't you have to shower before work?"

"Right," he nodded, "you know, I could work more hours if,"

"Don't even say it," she shook her head, "you're not dropping out of school and you're not quitting hockey. You'll make more money once you get your diploma, and you're not giving up the Bears with one season left." He smiled and kissed her softly and she took Julie back.

"You're way too good to me," he said and walked back into the bathroom. She sighed and sat down and cradled Julie softly.

Five year old Julie Gaffney sat in her room and pulled her covers over her head. They were yelling again. They'd been yelling so much lately! She closed her eyes and tried not to cry. She wouldn't cry.

"Fine!" She heard Cal shout, "You know what Jaime, I forgot, it's all my fault. I ruined your life."

"You don't get it!" Jaime shouted back. "You just never, ugh!" Julie jumped and heard the door slam. Then she started crying, she couldn't stop crying. She didn't know what Mommy was so mad about, but she was mad all the time! She was sobbing trying to breathe deeply.

"Cat?" Cal said walking in, "Baby, are you alright?" Julie pulled the covers off. "I'm sorry honey, we thought you were asleep." She sniffed. "Hey," he sat down and wiped her nose, "everything's fine."

"Why do you fight so much?" She asked. Cal sighed. "Don't you love Mommy?"

"Of course I do," he said, "oh Julie." She nodded.

"Does Mommy wish I hadn't been born?" She asked. He looked at her.

"Absolutely not!" He said. "No one wishes that. Except maybe Brett, because I hear you gave him a black eye."

"He said that I had cooties and Steve wasn't allowed to be my friend anymore!" She argued. Cal laughed and kissed her.

"I don't want you to worry about me and Mommy," he said. "We're fine." Julie nodded. "Go to sleep. I love you." He kissed her. She smiled and he shut off the lights and walked into his and Jaime's room.

"You're out of you mind if you think we're sleeping in the same bed tonight," she said. He rolled his eyes.

"Julie thinks that you regret her existence, and she was sobbing," he said. "So congratulations, you're officially a terrible mother, way to go Jaim." He grabbed a pillow and walked into the guest room.

Jaime sat a few months later watching Julie play in the front yard with Steve Callins, the boy from down the street. It had been months, and he'd apologized a million times, but what Cal said had stuck with her. She was a terrible mother. She knew it. She'd always known it.

"Mommy!" Julie ran over, her face and hands covered in mud.

"Oh, baby," Jaime laughed, "what are you doing?"

"We made mud!" Julie giggled, "Steve's all dirty too!"

"I see that," Jaime said, "why don't you go get washed up before Daddy gets home?" Julie nodded and ran inside. "Steve, go home, your mom will want you to get back for dinner."

"OK Mrs. Gaffney." Steve said and ran screaming down the street. Jaime laughed and walked into the house. She watched Julie wash up and she made the decision she'd been wrestling with for weeks. She walked up to her and Cal's room and started packing. He walked in after about forty minutes.

"What are you doing?" He asked. She swallowed.

"Packing," she said. He looked at her.

"Are we going on vacation?" He tried. She shook her head.

"I'm leaving, Cal," she said softly. "I've thought about it for a while and I'm gonna go out west."

"Jaime, don't," he said and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I know things haven't been great, but it'll get better."

"No it won't," she shook her head. "We always thought it would get better and it never did. I love you so much, but this isn't right for me, and you and Julie are better off without me."

"That's not true," he shook his head. "We are not better off without you." She kissed him softly. Then they kissed again, not so softly and fell against the bed. He pulled her shirt off. They hadn't had sex in a while and this was feeling good.

"Cal," she mumbled, "this is a very bad idea."

"You leaving is a worse one," he said and then they made love. After they lay together quietly. "That was nice."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm still going."

"I know," he said.

"I love you." She said.

"Stay the night," he said, "go in the morning." She smiled.

"OK," she said and they fell asleep. Jaime woke up in the middle of the night and sighed softly. She ran her hand through his hair. She stood up and grabbed her suitcase. She stood outside of Julie's room and wiped her eyes. She walked in and sat down on the bed. "Baby," she whispered and gently shook her.

"Mommy?" Julie whispered.

"Hey baby," Jaime whispered. "I'm sorry to wake you." Julie smiled. "I just, I'm going away for a while, and I wanted to say goodbye."

"Away?" Julie pouted. "But where? Can I come?"

"No," Jaime said, "And I'll call you when I get there, and you can come visit." Julie started to cry. "No, baby don't cry! Everything's going to be OK!"

"I want to go with you," Julie said, her little chest trembling. Jaime hugged her tightly.

"I love you," Jaime kissed her. "Be good for Daddy." She stood up and wiped her eyes and Julie kept sobbing and yelling for her not to go. Cal ran out of their room and looked at her. "I'm sorry Cal." She whispered, grabbed her suitcase and walked quickly out. Julie's screams of "Mommy, no!" were echoing in her ears as she walked to the bus stop on the end of their block.

Cal woke up in the morning and saw Julie curled up in a ball, her thumb in her mouth sleeping. He'd barely gotten her to stop sobbing. He walked downstairs blankly and went to make coffee. His hands were shaking. He had to go to work. He had to get Julie to school, he had to, he had to. His mind was going in circles and he started to cry.

"Damn it!" He shouted and threw the can of coffee across the room. Then he looked over and saw Julie standing in the door of the kitchen, her face trembling on the verge of tears again. "I'm sorry baby," he said. "Go upstairs and get dressed for school."

"Daddy," she said, "she-she'll come back, won't she?" He looked at her and walked over and knelt down and smoothed her hair.

"Someday," he said and kissed her forehead. "She'll be back someday." Julie nodded. "Go get dressed."

"But, if Mommy's gone where do I go after school?" She sniffed.

"Um," he reached for the phone, "do you want to go to Steve or Brett's?"

"Steve's," she said quickly. He nodded and dialed as Julie walked out.

"Hello," Claudia Callins said picking up the phone.

"Hi, Claudia," he breathed out. "It's Cal."

"Hi," she said, "how are you?"

"Um, Jaime and I," he said softly, "she's going away for a while, and I have to work today, so I was wondering if you could watch Julie after school." Claudia was quiet.

"Of course Cal," she said. "Whatever you need. Are you alright?"

"I just need to get through today." He said softly. "Thanks." He hung up.

About a month later Jaime stood in an alley behind a café in Minneapolis where she'd been waiting tables. She'd run out of money. If it hadn't been for Evelyn, she would have completely lost her mind.

"Jaime," one of the other waitresses walked out. "That woman's here to see you." Jaime nodded and walked back in. She smiled seeing Evelyn's soft face.

"How are you doing?" Evelyn asked. Jaime shrugged and sank into a seat.

"A little better," she said, "I tried to call Cal again, now that I have a phone number to give him, but he just hung up." Evelyn nodded. "I miss him. I wake up alone and I just miss him."

"Well, I wanted to bring you this," Evelyn said and handed her an envelope.

"Evelyn, I can't take your money," Jaime shook her head. "You already got me this job."

"It's not for you," Evelyn said. "You should send it to Cal and Julie." Jaime's eyes got big. "I have three children, I know how expensive they are." Jaime laughed, and then Evelyn's youngest, her little boy Jimmy, walked out of the bathroom and came and sat down next to her. "Say hello James."

"Hello," he said quietly. Jaime smiled. "Mommy, can we go to Ellie's soon?"

"Of course honey," Evelyn said. "I'm sorry."

"It's OK," Jaime said. "I should get back to work anyway. Thank you. Good to see you again Jimmy." She stood up.

"I like her," Jimmy said. Evelyn laughed. "She's pretty, but sad."

"She's very sad," Evelyn nodded. "Maybe someday, you'll play with her little girl." Jimmy wrinkled his nose. "You wouldn't like that?"

"I have my hands full with Ellie," he shook his head. "I don't need more girls." Evelyn laughed.

Cal quietly watched Julie play with Steve and Brett. He'd been a tailspin since Jaime called earlier in the week. She had to know that there was nothing to say between them. Julie was doing better although she still had tantrums and outbursts, he'd been called into the principal's office a few times.

"Daddy," she ran over holding a flower and handed it to him. "Look, it's pretty." He smiled softly. "You've been more sad lately." She said.

"I know," he said and ruffled her hair. "Come here," he lifted her onto his lap. "Cat, I know you want Mommy to come home, but I don't know that that's ever going to happen." Julie nodded, a sad look in her blue eyes.

"I know," she said. "I figured that's why you were so sad." She snuggled her head into his chest. "It's OK, you won't ever leave, right?"

"Never," he said, "and that's a promise." Julie smiled.

Jaime walked into the tiny apartment she was sharing in LA with her friend Ana. Ana was sitting on the couch.

"Hey," she said. "How'd it go?"

"I got the promotion," Jaime said.

"Amazing," Ana hugged her. "I told you none of those Ivy League preppies stood a shot! So what do you want to do to celebrate?"

"Go home," Jaime said. Ana looked at her. "I promised myself once I could I'd go home and talk to Cal, and figure out a way to take care of Julie."

"Jaime," Ana said, "you have to accept that he doesn't want to see you. It's been two years and you've spoken to him twice, with lawyers present." Jaime sighed. "He hasn't answered your letters or your calls."

"I have to try," Jaime said. "I can afford to start saving for Julie to go to college. I want to do that for her."

She paced around her hotel room in Bangor, biting her nails. She'd spoken to Cal and he said he was coming over. She couldn't help wondering if she'd be seeing Julie for the first time in two years. When there was a knock on the door she answered it.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hi," he said. Her smiled quickly faded. He was alone. "Jaime, I tried. She doesn't want to see you."

"OK," she whispered. "I understand." She sat down on the bed. He sat down next to her. "What's she like? I mean, you told me before but,"

"She's amazing," he said softly. "Smart, really smart, like you smart." Jaime laughed. "That money you were talking about, for college?"

"Yeah," Jaime nodded.

"She can't know," Cal said softly. "She won't take it if she knows." Jaime smiled. "It's good to see you," he pushed her hair off of her face.

"You too," she smiled softly, and then it hit her. "Oh my God!" She stood up. "You want to have sex!" He stared at her.

"Uh, kind of, yeah," he grinned sheepishly. She crossed her arms. "Look, I miss you, OK? And it's kind of been a while."

"Two years a while?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No, but still a while," he shrugged. She looked at him, "once I started to look creepy at college parties the well sort of dried up. Plus you know, I've been busy raising our daughter."

"Ugh," she said, "you're disgusting." He looked at her. "I'm not having sex with you. It'll just get everything all complicated. And what if I got pregnant again?"

"I carry these days," he said. "But what's complicated about it?" She looked at him.

"We're divorced," she said simply. "And, well, I don't know it just would be." He stood up and cupped his hands around her face.

"I'm not still in love with you Jaim," he whispered. "If that's what you're worried about." She looked at him. She was still in love with him. That was what would be complicated.

"Cal," she said firmly, "no."

"You never used to say no," he frowned.

"Yeah, and now there's an eight year old girl who hates me," she shrugged. "So there's that." He laughed. "If you miss me you could call, you know, or answer my letters."

"Jaim, your life is so," he shook his head. "I don't have a lot going on, you know?" She smiled softly. "It's good, for me, I like it, but compared to what you're doing, it's nothing." She kissed him softly.

"It isn't nothing," she shook her head. "You get to see her every day. It's everything." He smiled and they held each other. "I shouldn't have just taken off like that."

"You did what you had to do," he shrugged. "But it would have been better if you'd been closer." She smiled. "I didn't let her believe you'd come back long." He admitted, "which I guess is why she hates you." Jaime nodded. "I'll call, and thanks, for you know, this."

"Sure," she nodded. He walked towards the door. "Cal wait," she said and he turned she walked over and kissed him. They fell back against the bed.

"You're trouble for me," he whispered. She giggled.

Jaime sat quietly in the hospital. Cal stared at her.

"What?" She said putting her magazine down.

"I can't believe you weren't going to tell me that you have cancer," he shook his head. She rolled her eyes.

"Huh, and why would I do that?" She said, "I thought you jumping on the next plane to California with your whole family was a terrible idea." He laughed. "Cal, I," he smiled softly at her. "I am glad you're here."

"I know," he smiled. "Josh is really great Jaime. I'm sorry I didn't get to know him before." She smiled.

"He is, isn't he?" She stretched. He laughed.

"And you won't marry him why?" He asked. She raised her eyebrows. "I'm just curious."

"Unlike you," she said, "Our train wreck of a marriage kind of put me off the concept." He looked at her. "Plus I just," she looked down, "everything I love falls apart. You and me, and me and Julie." He nodded and put his hand on her leg.

"He seems like the kind who'd hang on anyway," he smiled. She laughed.

"Cal if I," she said softly, "I mean if I don't make it…" He looked at her.

"Don't," he said, "because that's ridiculous, you're going to be just fine." She looked down. "Sorry, I just," he took a deep breath and took her hand, "I can't imagine a world without you Jaim." She put her head on his shoulder.

"It's not good is it?" Jaime asked Jimmy as they stood outside of the hospital. He looked at her.

"No, it isn't," he said softly. "He's non responsive, Jaime, there's practically no chance of recovery." She nodded. "She won't accept that though." She closed her eyes. "Sorry, I shouldn't, my bedside manner needs work, my teachers tell me all the time."

"No, I'm," she said, "I'm glad you told me." He looked at her. "She's going to need you Jimmy, I can't, I mean," she exhaled, "she's not going to want it, but she's going to need you." He looked at her.

"You loved him," he said. She looked at him. "You never,"

"I never got over him," she said and nodded. "Trust me, I know. What do you think was the number one fight between me and Josh?" He nodded.

"Sure," he said. "I won't tell her." Jaime smiled softly. "You know I've been thinking, lately, about my mom." Jaime looked at him. "Are you alright? Is Josh really coming?"

"Of course he is," Jaime said, "he's a good man and he loves Julie." Jimmy looked at her.

"He loves you too," Jimmy said. Jaime smiled. "Trust me, no matter how hard you fight it, you're not getting away, when it, when it's inside of you like that." Jaime looked at her.

"You're not talking about me and Josh anymore," she smiled. "She'll come around. She was miserable without you." Jimmy nodded.

"The feeling was mutual," Jimmy whispered.

Jaime stood quietly by the two gravestones and put flowers down.

"I miss you so much," she whispered. "Every time the phone rings, I think it might be you and then when it isn't it's like," she closed her eyes. "Julie and Jimmy got married. It was beautiful. I hate that you weren't there." She bit her bottom lip. "She wouldn't let Josh walk her down the aisle. He was a little upset, but he understood. Mikey did it instead, everyone cried." She hugged herself. "After there was this great family style dinner at the restaurant, with three empty seats lit by candles, one for you, one for Elyse and one for Jimmy's mother. It was beautiful." She was quiet. "I thought about our wedding a lot during it. I got this random memory of your mom buying me a bouquet, because I wasn't going to have one and she said that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard." She laughed. "Anyway, I just wanted to stop by since I was in town. I love you, I always will."

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