Cynical Santa : The Big, er, Short Man
A/N: Woot! I'm back! Thanks for the reviews! Please read and review! I really want to know what you think! Happy holidays! R&R.
I
Hiei glared as Botan put his gloves and hat on. Stupid clothes... stupid Christmas... STUPID ONNA! The Koorime felt really self conscious as the onna looked him over in his new garb. They both looked around and the ferry onna pulled out a big bag from the back.
"Here, I think this has the toys in it."
Hiei grabbed the back with menace.
"Toys? For who? Just who is Santa?" Botan rolled her eyes, her pink lips jutting out a bit and her cheeks flushed with anger. That was when something unexpected happened. Hiei was lifted into the air. "Onna! Are you doing this?"
The ferry girl grabbed one of his legs.
"No!" She looked up and saw that the bag was lifting him into the air. "Hiei, are you coming down?"
The Koorime squirmed.
"No! Try harder!"
That was when a wind came and swept her back, making her let go of the fire demon. She fell into the snow, and Hiei saw that she wasn't moving.
"Onna!" Nothing. "Botan!"
She twitched. She looked up right as Hiei was sucked into the chimney. Hiei would never forget how her pink eyes were wide with wonder and fear. He had seen that look in her eyes before...
Then... he was gone.
Hiei blinked. He was in a house. He shivered. That felt weird! He shook himself again, and then felt that the bag was at his feet, and it had grown heavier. Grunting, the Koorime began to work.
He saw a tree, and used his knowledge that Kurama gave him a crash course in, and started unloading the stash under the tree. He was almost done, a toy monkey in hand when a small voice whispered in the still air.
"Santa...? You changed... again?"
Hiei whirled around, his katana out and ready, making the little girl on the couch flinch and pull up her blankets, but most of them still fell off. Hiei saw the look of fright in her eyes, and he put his sword away. His lips were dry and he licked them.
"I'm not Santa. The name's Hiei."
The little girl frowned.
"Aren't you going to drink the milk?" Hiei watched the small child get up and show him to a plate of cookies with a mug of milk. Hiei raised his eyebrow. Was it poisoned? Was it a trap? "Here."
She handed him the glass, and Hiei paused before taking a sip of the liquid before putting it back down. He took two cookies and put them in his pocket. The onna was probably hungry.
"Go to sleep." She gave him a look and she sat back on the couch. The demon pulled the blankets up and over her and gave her the toy. He looked at one of the blankets. "Could I have one of those?" He pointed to the large piece of fabric. The little girl nodded. He touched her forehead. "Thanks."
He used his demon heat to lull her into a relaxed state. The Koorime frowned and then walked under the chimney, taking a bite out of the cookie as he rose into the air.
II
Botan shivered in the sleigh. She really wish she had a blanket. She heard Hiei mutter something and she turned around just in time to see him being lowered onto the back of the sleigh. She smiled and looked at him.
"How did it go?"
The Koorime shrugged, his expression uncaring and cold. As usual.
"Hn."
He took something out of his pocket. He gave her a cookie. He glared at her as she smiled a bit, and his death stare intensified as he handed her a blanket. Botan draped it over her before her curiosity awakened.
"Hiei! Did you steal this?"
The demon crossed his arms as they both sat down in the front seat.
"No, baka onna." They both glared at each other, but that was when one of the reindeer bleated with impatience. Hiei frowned. "How do you start this thing?"
He grabbed the reins and gave them a snap. The two companions lurched back in their seats as they flew forward. To Botan's surprise, the ride was rather short. That was when she looked over her shoulder. There was the house that they just stopped at.
She heard Hiei jump off of the sleigh, also noticing the house behind them. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his two fingers.
"This could be a real long night..."
Botan smiled a bit.
The night flew by, rather fast in Botan's opinion. It was starting to get light out when she was starting to fade in and out of sleep. Her head fell on Hiei's shoulder once, and the only reason he woke her up was because he tensed so suddenly.
Hiei let out a long breath when she shook herself awake.
"I think it's over..."
He smirked at her as the reindeer flew through the sky. The ferry girl yawned and brought the blanket closer around her.
"Lets go home."
The demon nodded as the animals took flight. The ferry girl giggled as the wind tickled her, her voice floating down in the air like bells.
III
When Botan had said home, Hiei had expected her house. If the animals wanted to surprise them, maybe the temple even. But... he never expected where they brought them.
The Koorime found himself in a winter wonderland. The snow was suspended in the air as it spun slowly to the ground. The reindeer stopped, and somehow managed to get loose, running away. Botan stood, her nightgown flowing around her.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
The two beings sat in the sleigh. Hiei frowned.
"What do we do now, onna?"
Botan was about to speak when a little person came out. Botan sat up straight, whispering into Hiei's ear.
"Hiei... I think he's shorter than you!"
The demon growled.
"Onna..."
That was when they started to sink into the ground. The little boy giggled before running away. Botan blinked, but then moved towards Hiei. She had no idea what was happening. That was when a rush of warm air blew the hair back from their faces and they heard voices.
That was when they could see it. A bright and wonderful workshop. Children were everywhere. Hiei frowned. No one was an adult... That's odd. Botan looked over the side and waved, and some of the smaller girls waved back to her, crying out to her.
The sleigh landed, and Hiei had a hard time keeping his focus. The air smelled like cinnamon and chocolate. He saw many lights, but it wasn't too bright or too dim. It was perfect. He heard bells and laughter. Botan was the first to jump out of the sleigh, her face bright with joy.
Hiei climbed out after her, not wanting her to get lost in the odd place they were in now. The demon stalked after her, and that was when an older elf came to them. By older, he looked like he was a teenager, an older teenager.
"Hey, what's your name?"
The elf smiled charmingly at the ferry girl as he took her hand, kissing it chastely. Hiei growled.
"My name is Botan, and yours?"
The elf scratched his head, his black curls bouncing.
"The name's Bernard."
Botan was about to say something when Hiei came in, his demeanor cross and dark.
"Just what is going on here? Who are you, and who is Santa?"
Bernard looked at the Koorime, and he narrowed his dark eyes. That was when he took a step back, his face pale.
"You're not human!" The entire underground workshop fell silent and all eyes were on them. The elf licked his lips. "You're not an elf, just what the heck are you?"
Botan had to hold Hiei back from unleashing his frustration out on the elf. That was when Hiei growled with menace.
"I am a demon, baka. I am the Forbidden Child."
Bernard looked Botan over again.
"Then who is she? Your girlfriend?"
The two looked at each other, Botan smiling nervously while Hiei snarled. Botan shook her head.
"No, nothing like that. I'm a ferry girl from spirit world. My spirit is human."
The elf shook as he sat down. The two companions looked at each other and didn't move. Hiei used telepathy so he could talk to the onna in private.
Onna, have you heard of an elf before?
Botan gave him a concerned look.
They were supposed to be fictional creatures. She licked her lips. But, he hasn't heard of demons, so he probably doesn't even know that there are Three Worlds!
Hiei crossed his arms, growling with annoyance.
Perfect. This is just perfect.
"Wait, how could a demon... be... are you from Hell?"
Hiei was torn from his secret conversation to look at Bernard.
"I am from Makai. Demon World."
Bernard frowned, and then, he lost his patience and politeness.
"Okay, whatever, we roll with it!" He saw that the other elves had stopped working. "Get back to work!" He looked at Hiei with wild eyes. "Follow Judy if you want to get out of those clothes."
Hiei was about to pounce on him, but once he heard that he would be able to get changed, he stopped. He looked at Botan, who was shivering in her nightgown. That was when a little girl pulled on Botan's white dress.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Claus?"
Botan turned pink as she smiled at the child.
"I'm sorry, I'm not married to Hiei."
Hiei felt his blood red eyes widen. Damn right she's not! The little girl looked at the fire demon, her lips curving upwards.
"Uh-huh. Sure. Follow me."
Hiei smirked at the onna, who was struggling to not laugh or blush.
IV
Botan and Hiei were shown to a glorious room filled with toys and big cushy pillows. Botan and Hiei were on opposite sides of the room, screens protecting them from each others eyes.
"Hiei! Look!" Hiei saw the ferry girl spin out from behind the screen, she was wearing a short white nightie, but a lovely coverup that was like a robe. It was white and from the way it was silent as she moved, Hiei guessed it was satin or fine silk.
The Koorime was pulling up his pants, and he stepped out, rather put out that he didn't have the same love for his new clothes as the onna did.
Botan took one look at him and smiled as she bit down a laugh.
Hiei got red pajamas, and they were satin. They were the same color of his eyes, but still... he didn't like them. On the chest was an inscription. SC. Judy stepped in, looking over the demon.
"Good evening, Santa. I take it that you like your pajamas?"
Hiei frowned.
"Hn. I'm not Santa."
Bernard walked in.
"Yes you are." Hiei was about to open his mouth, but Bernard interrupted him. "You read the card. You agreed to The Santa Clause." Bernard looked him over. "You're the big, er, little guy now."
Hiei snarled and Botan put a delicate hand on his shoulder.
"What do you want him to do? He's a demon, not a human."
Bernard shrugged.
"Look, it doesn't matter to me. I don't deliver the presents, it's not my job. He picked up the card, he put on the suit, and now he is Santa!" Bernard gave Judy a dry look. "Is it just me or do I feel like it was just yesterday that we did this?"
There was a silence, and Judy and Bernard said to get some rest, and that Hiei was expected to be back at Thanksgiving. Botan told Hiei that she would tell him when that was. They spotted a large bed.
Botan jumped on it, and she sank into it, the soft cushions embracing her. She let out a moan of delight as she looked back at Hiei, who stared at her like she was an alien from another planet.
"Come on, Hiei! It's so cool!"
Hiei stepped up to the foot of it, looking into the onna's pink eyes.
"Are you crazy? Don't sleep in there!" He lowered his voice. "We have no idea what those guys will do to us in a helpless state!"
He grabbed Botan's arm, but she groaned in protest, wanting to say in the soft bed.
"Stop it! I want to sleep!"
Tuning into some unknown strength, the ferry girl pulled the demon onto the bed. She blinked, looking astonished that she was able to get Hiei Jaganshi onto a bed. By pulling him. But that wasn't the problem.
All of a sudden, the covers were very warm. Very enticing. Botan felt her eyelids droop and the pillows mold to fit her shape. She just had enough time to look over at Hiei, who tried to fight it. He gritted his teeth, his fangs showing. But, even he fell into the soft sheets. The last thing that Botan remembered was his hand reaching out to her, landing on her side, squeezing it.
"Baka... onna..."
V
Bernard came back into the room about an hour later. Judy followed him, smiling as she saw the two new members of workshop. Botan was asleep, Hiei's one arm touching her. Bernard rolled his eyes.
"Don't you hate it when a couple goes through denial?"
Judy smiled and tucked Botan in, Bernard taking care of Hiei, who growled when his hands got too close to Botan.
"It's cute." Judy brushed some hair out of Botan's eyes. "Want to speed things up a bit for our friends?"
Bernard bit his lower lip.
"These guys are our friends already?"
Judy smiled and nodded.
"The one that goes by the name of Botan, she's really nice. Such a sweet one." Judy pointed to the fire demon. "And this demon Santa of ours, well, he's got a good heart."
Bernard helped Judy move the two of them.
"Whatever. How does this look?"
Judy took a step back.
"Perfect. Let's send them home."
Bernard winked.
"That's what I'm talking about!"
VI
Hiei snuggled into comfy bed sheets. He felt so warm. He licked his lips as he moved closer to whatever was beside him. At the moment, the Koorime was not in cull consciousness. He woke up very slowly. The first thing he saw was the pale light hitting the white pillows.
What a dream. Stupid champagne. The Koorime stretched his legs, and that was when he felt something against his body. His eyes focused on the blue in front of him. And how the figure was wearing white pajamas, and how her creamy legs were against his own.
Hiei almost bolted upwards. He almost blew his cover. He moved slowly, and then he realized that her one arm was latched onto his chest, her small hand fisting to clutch onto him.
Hiei tried to move her hand, his face not showing his anxiety. That was when she grunted in her sleep, and she woke up, her pink eyes opening. Hiei heard the one phrase that made his eyes close and his teeth gnash.
"Hiei? What are you... did we... no..."
Her face was positively scarlet as she looked at her hands. And that was when she saw that she was wearing pajamas. Specifically, Judy's handmade pajamas.
"No, onna, we did not –"
"Hiei! We went to the north pole! Look!" Botan pointed to his chest, and her finger was over the SC. Hiei felt his eyes widen. Then it really did happen. "You're really Santa Claus!"
The fire demon bristled and glared at her, grasping her wrist.
"I am not that man! You understand, baka onna?" Hiei saw the look of shock flash across her face. "Whatever you think happened, didn't. Don't even mention it again!"
His voice was hard and cold like ice itself. That was when she started to cry.
"S-sorry, Hiei..."
Hiei got up and touched his forehead. He seemed alright.
"Goodbye, onna." He turned to her, and she sniffed wiping her eyes as she looked at him reproachfully. "Remember," the demon brought a finger to his lips, "not a word."
VII
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Keep on reading and reviewing! Please! I really want to know what you think! I don't care if they are flames! And, if anyone was OOC, please tell me! I hate it when that happens, and so I'll will try my best so that it doesn't happen, but tell me! Raise your cups full of hot chocolate!
Happy holidays!
-mia