Always With You
I gazed out the window of our plane as we landed at the Tokyo air center. I hadn't wanted to return so early but Mamoru's business called and the clinic seemed to be over run with patients. When I arrived at the clinic the waiting room was loaded with anxious mothers and sick children. Apparently there had been a pretty bad stomach virus going around and quite a few children had caught it.
I was even forced to leave the clinic open a full two hours longer than I normally would have, which was highly surprising. When I was finally able to lock up I dug around my purse for my cell phone. I had to call and tell Mamoru that I was going to be late getting home.
As I pulled out of the parking lot my hand subconsciously reached for the radio dial. It was nearly impossible to drive around alone and listen to nothing but silence. I was quick to notice that my usual station wasn't the one playing. The music wasn't bad but it was much older than what I usually listened to. I pushed the button again to get the station that I had programmed in but the song didn't change. I shrugged and continued driving. Maybe Mamoru had reprogrammed my stations. It wasn't a big deal though I thought; the music wasn't bad, just not what I was used to.
I drove on humming and tapping on my steering wheel, rather enjoying the older music when the song abruptly changed. I frowned, figuring they were having a problem at the radio station. The song that had begun was familiar; it was a song that had seen its prime when we were all in high school. A single tear slid down my face, as it's haunting melody refreshed my memory. It had been Usagi's favorite song. Gods. It wasn't fair. I didn't want to be thinking about Usagi. But it was too late. My thoughts had already fallen upon the bubbly blonde. She had been so happy then, but not anymore. None of us would see her cheerful face again. Usagi was dead…
The sound of crunching metal brought me back from my memories. I opened my eyes and saw nothing but darkness. Darkness? It shouldn't be dark. I had left the clinic at five and it shouldn't have been dark. I turned my head as my eyes began to adjust and felt a burst of pain shoot down my back. That wasn't a good sign. I opened my eyes again and could see the seat of my car above me. Great. Yeah, I really needed a car accident. Stop being sarcastic Ami and get yourself out of the car.
From what I could tell I had obviously flipped my car over and the seatbelt had snapped. I drug myself out of the window, which was conveniently smashed. Dry leaves crunched beneath my flats as I slowly stood to assess the damage to my car and myself. I was definitely in better shape than my car, with only a few cuts and scrapes. My car on the other hand was hardly recognizable considering it had a tree planted in the grill. Wait, a tree? I raised my eyes upward to see a canopy of trees above my head. I was just driving through the middle of Tokyo, not a forest. Something was definitely wrong. My mind said there had to be a logical explanation but I wasn't so sure. This wasn't an ordinary accident.
As I was standing there bewildered the snap of a twig got my attention. My head flew around, intent on finding the source of the noise, panic encroaching at the edges of my mind.
"Ami…"
I turned again. "Who's there?"
"Your fault…"
No one was there, no one at all. I was alone.
"All your fault…"
I turned again, and again, and again. No one. I ran my fingers through my hair, no bumps or cuts. A concussion was out of the running for explanations. I dropped my hands to my sides in frustration and a sudden burning pain shot up my arms. I looked down at them to see numerous lacerations. But…I hadn't been cut earlier had I? I surely would have noticed…wouldn't I have?
"All your fault…"
And I did the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time. I ran. I closed my eyes and ran.
"Purpose…"
And all I did was keep running, running until I felt as if my lungs were going to burst. And then the voice stopped. I opened my eyes to find that the scenery had changed yet again. I was no longer in the forest. Now I seemed to be in a…wasteland of sorts. The ground was a sickly shade of gray. There were no plants, no trees, not even a blade of grass. I took a deep breath and decided to continue walking forward. It seemed that I was hopelessly lost anyway so what could it have hurt.
First I'm driving home, listening to the radio, and then I'm in a forest with mysterious lacerations. I subconsciously raised my arms to look at the awful wounds I was sure to see, but they were gone, as if they had never been there at all. But…gods, I can't be losing my mind…
What if it was a trick? What if there was a new enemy and I had been targeted? That would explain the fact that I seemed to no longer be in Tokyo, and it might explain everything else. It's either that or I'm locked up in the Looney bin and just haven't realized it yet. No…don't think that way.
As I continued walking, mulling over the possibility of a new enemy, I approached what seemed to be a large gorge. I peered down into its shadowy depths and could see nothing but darkness.
"Jump…"
I backed up slowly.
"Jump…Ami…"Ami? That thing knew my name. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm myself. When I opened them again I found myself standing on a grassy hill, overlooking a park near Shinjuku. Below me, smashed into a tree was a familiar looking car. It wasn't mine though…
"Ami…"Suddenly the car was awash with paramedics and onlookers. The scene was utterly frantic. I ran down the hill, stumbling as I lost one of my shoes. That wasn't important though. What was important was that I was a doctor and I could help. I ran up to the side of the car and noticed a flash of gold. I quickly turned to one of the paramedics to tell him I could help, to ask what situation we were facing with the victim, but he didn't even notice me. He didn't notice me and he walked right through me.
"Did it on purpose…"It was that voice again. Why did it keep following me? And why was it the only thing that I could hear? Why couldn't I hear the sirens? Why did no one see me? And why did he pass through me? That was when the pain became much worse. My arms flared with pain. The lacerations returned, only they were worse this time. Blood was literally flowing from my fingertips as it oozed from the wounds.
My head was over run with questions as I desperately struggled to make sense of the information. Nothing was right. Nothing was making any sense at all. I should be home now, with Mamoru.
"You let me die…"Wait, why did it take me so long to notice? I recognized that voice…
"Usagi." I managed to squeak out.
"Yes…" The voice whispered.
That was when the pieces started to fall together. I remembered everything. That was when I had worked in the E.R. before I had opened my own children's clinic. Usagi had gotten into a car accident on her way home from college. She had lost a lot of blood when they brought her to me… Slowly hot tears began to crawl down my cheeks. I hated these memories. Why couldn't I just forget them? Why did I have to remember?
"You let me die Ami…"No! No, I hadn't let Usagi die. I tried. I tried so hard to save her. I had tried so hard. But it wasn't enough. No, it was never enough. And then she was gone… And…and I had to tell Mamoru….
My knees trembled and I sank to the ground sobbing. My fists pounded the ground, making my flesh hot and red. "I didn't mean for you to die! I didn't want you to die; I didn't want it to happen."
"You wanted it…"
"No! That isn't true! I hadn't wanted it. That isn't true…"
I stood slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes with bloodstained hands. Usagi stood there before me, beautiful Usagi, our best friend, our leader, our princess… She walked toward me slowly. Her arms reached for me as if to embrace me, as if to hug me, but that wasn't it. I felt the cold first. The horrible bitter icy cold and then the burning pain. The burning pain that one only felt when they couldn't breath. She was trying to strangle me…
Please no. Please no, Usagi. I tried. I really tried. I didn't want you to die. I didn't want for it to happen. I didn't want to see you in so much pain. I didn't want…
"I didn't want…"
I began to rock slightly, my body jerking in one quick motion. My eyes flew open, quickly moving from left to right, expecting to see the face of my dead friend. But it was Mamoru who stood over me, not Usagi.
"What? What's going on? Where am I?"
I looked up into his eyes and I could see the love there, but I could also see the worry.
"You were having a nightmare Ami." He leaned down and kissed my forehead and I couldn't help the smile that had stretched over my lips. It was nothing more than a horrible nightmare. I hadn't wrecked my car. I hadn't seen Usagi. I hadn't seen anything like that. But something wasn't right. My eyes moved to the left and could see the familiar shape of a heart monitor next to the bed.
"Why am I in the hospital?"
I watched Mamoru's reaction, as his eyes went from happiness to worry.
"You were in a car accident last night Ami."
I felt the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around me.
"I was so afraid that I was going to lose you…"
I shook my head, not quite believing. It couldn't have been real right? It was all just a nightmare wasn't it? I sat up slowly, holding Mamoru close. But something caused me to raise my head. I felt as if I were being watched. I peered through the window that looked out into the hall and there she stood…watching me…
Author's Note: Please review if you liked it or if you have ideas/suggestions. I always keep an open mind and it doesn't take much to get me writing. Just let me know you're out there. ;)