A/N

Okay, I just realised I forgot to do this, so here it is now. Disclaimer! Don't worry, I'm only doing one for the whole story.

I do not own Maximum Ride.

I never will own Maximum Ride. Also, four reviews on the first chapter! That may sound pathetic to you seasoned writers, but I've only been on here for a total of three days. So...yeah. Enjoy!

Dear Diary,
My badass moment just got intense. How so? Read on. As soon as I spun around, I heard Max yelling.

"Everyone, get down! Gazzy, get back here and explain why the heck the lawn is on fire!" I gulped as I walked back down the hall. I felt like I was on Death Row. Actually, knowing Max, I probably was. Lovely. I stepped through the doorway.

"Well, you see, uh...Iggy? You take it from here," I stuttered. He gave me a look.

"Um, no. It was your idea." I sighed.

"Okay, so we rigged up a smoke bomb to go off," I began, eying Max cautiously. "It shouldn't of caught fire, though." I glanced at Iggy for support. He looked thoughtful.

"No, it shouldn't have. But we did put it by the archway with the trees...and there's a hose..." he trailed off.

"And maybe it set off the sprinkler, which caused the archway to catch fire" I finished. Max rubbed her forehead.

"You rigged up a bomb."

"A smoke bomb."

"You rigged up a bomb by trees."

"Well, yes."

"And you didn't think that they would catch fire?" Max asked, peering at us over her hands. Well, when you put it like that, it makes us sound like a pair of dumb twats, like, I dunno, Edward and Jacob (Nudge made me watch all four of em. I was forever scarred).

"Well, when you say it like that-" Iggy began.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" All six of us spun towards the scream. Ella came running out of the hallway. She started spurting peppy gibberish. Now, I don't know about you, diary, but I don't do good with normal gibberish. So PEPPY gibberish? Gah, puh-lease. I mean, I'm not SUPERMAN. Though my name is like it. Superman, Gasman. I could be the hero of farting! Oh yeahh. Anyway. Back to the peppy gibberish. Nudge was now squealing right along with her. How the FRICK did she understand any of that? Iggy raised a hand.

"Uh, for everyone who doesn't speak peppy squealing, can you explain WHY you're peppily squealing?" He asked. Gotta love him. They both gave him The Look. Y'know, the one so fatal it burns your organs and melts your brains.

"JOSH GREEN IS COMING TO ARIZONA!" Wow. I think my ear was just temporarily deafened. Hold on while I get my heating back.

"Josh who is doing what?" Max asked. Fang, Iggy and I gave her wtf-did-you-do-that-for-now-they'll-scream-again looks. Angel looked hopeful. "Really?" My damn sister...

"Josh Green is coming to Arizona," Nudge repeated slowly.

"Who's that?" Max, one day I swear, I will be standing over you with a large knife grinning maniacally.

"Only a really hot actor!" So that's why I don't know.

"And we're going to see him!" Ella cheered.

"Wait. We are?" Max asked. Oh my freaking gawd, Max, just...seriously...

"YES! We will find him and get autographs and-" This is where I slapped my hand over Nudge's mouth. Iggy covered Ella's when she tried to speak. And when Angel started, I had to use my other hand. Jesus, people, I'm a mutant bird kid, not...something like a T. I dunno, a...nope. I'm stumped. Ideas, diary?

"Okay. When we take our hands away, you are going to slowly, calmly explain, with your inside voices. Got it?" Iggy said. Triple nods. Hmm. I peeled my hands away, and wiped them on my jeans. They exchanged mischievous looks. Uh oh. Before I could replace my hands, they all shouted loudly.

"WE'RE GOING CELEBRITY HUNTING!" Oh my freaking God, my ears-

"AND ITS GONNA BE SO AWESOME AND I'M GONNA-" Diary, you may be aware of my skillset. One that involves gas and people passing out from the stink. Well, I decided to employ that certain skill right now. I went for the silent approach.

"SO WE CAN GO MEET HIM AND...HOLY CRAP GAZZY, WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO?!" Nudge screamed. The others were clutching at their faces.

"Need...air...gonna...die..." Iggy breathed out. I scoffed at him.

"Weakling." Max was running for the French doors. Which led to the backyard. Which was currently on fire. Great foresight, Gazzy. Trap yourself in a stinking house. Crap.

"Fang, get the fire extinguisher!" Max yelled. He rushed off to the kitchen.

"Everybody upstairs, go go GO!" Max shouted, eyes flicking to the kitchen, impatiently waiting for Fang to get back. I didn't really feel like hanging around, so I raced after Ella, who is surprisingly fast. I heard Nudge, Iggy and Angel's footsteps pounding behind me. Really, this wasn't that bad, seeing as we've lived in dog crates and been experimented on, so I see it as excitement. I don't think Max really wants her moms' house burned down, though, and I don't really want to face Dr M's wrath, so I'm good with pretending it's the worst thing that's ever happened to us. Anyway.

"Gazzy, Iggy, how the hell did you manage to pull that off?" Nudge asked incredulously. I scratched the back of my neck. Yes, we made a mistake. Okay, a really dumb mistake. But honestly, people, could you please stop bring it up? But I've gotta admit, it did look pretty cool. I repeated this to Nudge.

"Pretty cool?! The backyard is on fire!"

"Yes, yes it is. And Fang is currently putting it out," I said, pointing out the window. She looked.

"Fine. But you're telling Dr M," she warned. My eyes popped.

"Why not Iggy?" I exclaimed. Iggy smirked.

"Because Iggy's the poor, blind kid, who life gave the short straw, meaning he is therefore free of all charges," he said matter of factly.

"Poor blind kid my butt," I grumbled. Iggy cupped his ear.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Val was not pleased. So unpleased, in fact, that she kicked us out. Let me explain. After Fang had put out the fire, we all just lounged on the couch, me arguing with Iggy about whose fault it was. 'You helped set it up!' 'I'm blind.' When we heard Dr M opening the door, we all sat up real straight. She eyed us suspiciously before entering the kitchen.

"How has your day been?" She asked casually.

"Good," we all replied in sync. The coolness.

"Has anything happened?" She tried again.

"Nope," we responded. She raised her eyebrows.

"So, what's this?" She pointed outside at the wreckage of her garden. We all winced.

"It was Gazzy!"

"It was not...only me!"

"He started it all!"

"He rigged up a bomb by trees!"

"We made a mistake-"

"Iggy helped-"

"I'm blind," Iggy concluded. Dr M rubbed her forehead.

"Okay. I saw this coming. Everyone, I've got you a house a few numbers down," she said. We all stared. A house. We were going to have our own house.

"46. Enjoy," she tossed Max a key. Max caught it neatly, and looked at it in awe.

"Thanks, Mom," she said. To the rest of us: "You lot, pack your stuff. We're leaving." Wow, thanks. Your politeness is astounding. But I grabbed my stuff nevertheless. After I was done, I headed downstairs, dragging my suitcase behind me. Fang was already there. Iggy came down shortly after, followed by Max. Nudge and Angel were nowhere to be seen.

"Where the heck are they? How long does it take to throw clothes in a bag?" Iggy said to no one in particular.

"I dunno, but it must be a pretty big number," I replied. Finally, finally, they came down, hauling massive bags along with them. Yeesh. Girls these days, huh?

"Okay. Let's go." Max headed for the door. We all followed suit. I shouldered my suitcase (it has these wicked straps, and a cord that pulls the suitcase along. It's awesome), and began the long, hard 10 metre trek to house number 46. It must've looked really strange to anyone else, six kids, ranging from eighteen to ten, walking from number 52 to number 46. Anyway. We filed down the drive, and stared at the massive door in front of us. It was a really dark red-grey colour. Verging on Fang's acceptable for a colour standards. Max put the key in the lock, and slowly turned. The door gave a click, and she turned the handle. The door swung...outwards! You know how all those doors in horror movies go inwards? Well, this one didn't. A bit disappointing, really, but oh well. Can't have everything, I guess. The hall was huge. Like, I'm talking gargantuan (who invented that word? It sounds like an ape). There were pieces of fancy art on the walls, and tiny shelves for trinkets and whatnot. Wooden panels lines the walls. It was AWESOME. I sprinted inside, and rounded a corner, trying to get dibs on the best bedroom. I peered inside a tiny room, with a bed and a desk and a wardrobe. No room for anything, really. It also had that horror movie murder feel to it. No thanks. I moved on. This one was MASSIVE. I'm talking Madonna concert stage sized. Yeah. It was that big. Nah. Let Nudge have that one. She definitely needs the space. I moved to the next one. Third time lucky, yeah? No. It just seemed...off. Like those rooms in horror movies that the wussy main character thinks is haunted, but turns out to be the only safe room in the entire house. But it still put me off. Then I saw the staircase. It had a really wide banister, so you could slide down it. It even had a freaking chandelier above it. How the frick did Dr M afford this? I get she's a vet, yeah, but this is just...jeez. I raced up the stairs, and flung open the door to the first room. And was met by a lounge. An upstairs lounge. Holy freaking frijoles, I'm officially living in Grand Designs. Without the reno. I wandered a little further down the hallway. There was another staircase. I walked up it, panting. Hey, all these stairs aren't good for my health. At the top of the stairs, there was one door. One. Please be a bedroom, I prayed. Cause the others will have taken everything else. I grabbed the handle, and slowly spun it. The door creaked open. And the last thing I saw was a bloody knife. Hahaha, no. That would be straight out of a bad horror movie (oh my gosh, I really need to stop referencing those). No. What really happened is I opened the door, and saw this awesome as room. It had a huge bay window, and wasn't at all scary and dark. It was light, and airy, and all the furniture looked like it was straight out of The Hobbit. It was small and cosy and nice. I needed this room. I was admiring the beams when Iggy burst in.

"Dibs!" He shouted. My jaw dropped. He couldn't take my room!

"What? This is mine!" I exclaimed. He shook his head, tutting.

"Uh uh uh. I didn't hear a dibs," he said, waggling his finger.

"You can't even see it!" I argued.

"I know. And now it's mine!" He grinned. I punched my palm.

"You might wanna hurry if you want to get a decent room," he advised. I just stood there, glaring.

"Like, now." He gestured to the door. I stormed out, and slid down the banisters. Every room I passed was taken. I got down to the ground floor when I realised my mistake.

"DAMN YOU, IGGY!" I yelled. See, the rest of the flock had chosen the best rooms. So what was I stuck with? The horror movie murder room. Yeah, I know. Life sucks. Well, that's all for today, and I'm about to turn out the lights. See you tomorrow, diary. If I'm still alive.