"You're always one decision away from a totally different life."
-Unknown
Chapter 2
Jean sat in her room at the small vanity facing the mirror. She was trying to put it all together. Not until she had considered what she thought had happened could she go to sleep.
Lucien would stay which meant that she and Mattie would stay and possibly Danny. She would manage the house and rework the budget. Adding the financial contribution from both Lucien and Danny would make a big difference. And yes, Danny would most certainly board with them. Creating a budget would be easy. Living within its parameters although confining was something Jean had done time and time again. It proved a useful tool for getting out of some tight situations in the past. She had gotten use to giving up all but the absolute necessities. Food and shelter were her first priorities everything else could wait.
Jean thought back to her life with Christopher. Not much of it had been easy for either of them. Jean had been studying mathematics, physics and organic agriculture her first year at Federation University. She was exploring everything that energized her mind and spirit.
That's where she met Christopher, a junior studying agriculture. Following Christopher's graduation, the young couple walked over to the justice of the peace and were married. Jean continued classes through both pregnancies. Caring for two babies, taking classes and holding down a job was taking a toll on Jean and Christopher's relationship. He persuaded his young wife to leave university; to stay home and raise the babies while they actualized the dream of owning and running a farm together.
Reluctantly, Jean agreed to leave off her studies to raise a family and work alongside her husband. Jean convinced Christopher they should go into organic farming raising only those plants indigenous to the area. They would sell to local restaurateurs and establish a food cooperative or maybe a farmer's market getting quality food to locals in the community. This was Jean's vision, her dream. Her genuine concern for the environment and sustainable living guided her actions and decisions. It was as much her moral compass as Catholicism was for her parents. She convinced Christopher of the concept's worth and together they made a down payment on a small farm outside of the Ballarat city limits.
So, working as a full partner alongside her husband as his business manager and farm attendant Jean took on the additional responsibility of housewife and mother. The young couple understood that traditional farming was challenging. What they had not yet learned was that organic farming was far more difficult.
Had it driven him out of the house and to the war? Was her headstrong intent to have things her way been the catalyst pushing her husband and the father of her children out of Ballarat and to a war that took his life?
When Jean lost Christopher to the first Gulf war a difficult life became unbearable. Quickly Jean was overwhelmed by the debt. She couldn't manage the boys and keep the farm going. Christopher junior stopped talking to her, he withdrew into his school books and later left for the military. Jack who never told her anything anyway went off the rails. He turned up on the bad side of every situation and finally her youngest boy was taken from her. Jack was remanded to a youth program in Melbourne. Jean was heartbroken. A parental responsibility failed. A wound she felt would never heal.
Her inability to keep things going on her own or pay for hired help forced her to sell the farm and her home before it was taken from her. Jean moved into Ballarat. She found a job as a waitress in Patrick Tyneman's restaurant, 'The Downtown Diner.' It was a 1950's American styled diner. Fitted out with booths and a counter with swiveling stools, a malted milk ice cream counter and fry cook, it quickly became the 'go to' eatery for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The diner served both traditional Australian an d American meals. The patrons were happy to find bacon, eggs, hash browns, toast and coffee on the menu just under bubble-n-squeak and a cuppa.
Jean was so broke she worked every shift that came her way. She looked at her finances, both income and outgo, set her goals and once again created her budget which she jokingly referred to as "My personal austerity plan."
Generating a schedule for household chores, who does what when was easy enough. Creating a budget to meet all the financial obligations was not difficult for a woman who once was a math major. She knew from experience that trouble came when you began to make exceptions to the rule. Dinner out to celebrate an unexpected event, purchasing an item to improve living conditions could not be tolerated. Falling off the wagon always meant the wagon go further away and your life with it. No, no, no, to anything outside of the agreed upon budget. She could teach Danny how to live within his means. Not wanting to rely upon her parents, Mattie had been living a simple life for quite some time. But Lucien, could he do it? He was in so many ways her question mark. She had thought it through as much as her mind and body would allow. It was two in the morning. Everyone else was fast asleep. Jean found her night clothes and bathrobe and made her way to the bathroom for a shower and finally bed.