Something that needs to be clarified, in the previous chapter when Gibbs, Abby, and Jenny were calling one another mother/father, it was meant as a joke, not that they don't feel that way in this crazy universe but they were supposed to be pushing one another's boundaries.
Brothers….
Timothy McGee hadn't been normal by any stretch of the imagination. You don't accomplish the things he had by the time he was 25 by being normal. But none of that ever seemed to matter, as far as Tony was concerned, McGee was probie, and would never be half as important as himself. Or at the very least, that's what he projected to the world.
While Tim wouldn't dare say it out loud, he looked up to Tony. He was his polar opposite, athletic, attractive, and rarely ever without a bed partner. So most of the time when Tony did something horrible to McGee he just smiled and laughed it off, often pondering if he had known Tony in high school if at some point he would have be strung up a flag pole by his gym shorts.
Thank god for Gibbs. Otherwise Tony most definitely would have at least tried to hang him by his under shorts from somewhere.
Unfortunately, today, Gibbs was out doing god only knows what, and as the saying goes, 'When the Gibbs is away, the Probie has hell to pay.' Tony had been bored to tears, and reduced to just wadding up paper and throwing it at McGee, as per normal McGee just tried to ignore him.
This approach may work on bratty children, but Tony has never been one to give up that easily. "Hey Probie, lets play a game." Tony called over to him.
"DiNozzo, I don't have time for one of your games, I'm working, which is what your supposed to be doing." He said with a hint of frustration in his voice.
"Oh come on McGee, its not like Gibbs is here to make that 'Gunny-Death-Glare', it'll be fun, I promise." Tony was beginning to persuade him. Not that it takes a lot to convince McGee to join in, poor McGee, if only he had had some more friends growing up, then maybe he wouldn't put his job in jeopardy every time DiNozzo got another brilliant idea.
"Fine, but if we get caught, which we will, it always happens, you're taking the fall." He said and he pressed save on the report he had been working on.
"Oh lighten up McScariedPants. And what about rule number 1?"
"Never put suspects in a room together? How is that relevant?"
"No never screw over your partner. Geez, Gibbs is going senile in his old age if he has 2 rule number ones…"
"To be fair, there are 2 rule number threes as well." Tim stated.
"Really? How'd that happen?"
"I'm going to guess he wasn't paying attention, plus sense he never bothered to write them down anywhere he'll never remember which numbers he's used so far."
"Wait, how do you know there are 2 ones and threes?" Tony asked.
"Easy." Tim clicked on an icon on his desktop and the rules, to knowledge, popped up on the plasma screen.
"Ok, Probie, enough stalling. Truth or Dare?" Tony smiled an evil grin.
"Seriously? Are we twelve year old girls now?" Tim asked back, he was terrified of what horrible questions and dares were cooking up in Tony's twisted brain.
"If I say yes will it cause you to give in sooner?" Tim shot DiNozzo a questioning look, "Ok, Probie, look, we both know how this will go, you'll say no, I'll bring up something completely obscure, you'll say something about getting in trouble, I'll mention how awesome it will be, and we will banter back and forth for a few minutes, but you'll give in, so why don't we skip that part and go straight to the game?"
After a minute or so, "God help me. Ok, Tony. Truth."
"Oh big shocker, Probie doesn't want to get his hands dirty, oh but we'll get there. Ok, when and to whom did little McGee virginity go to?"
Sigh, of course he would ask something about his sex life, "Sarah Bridges, Junior year of college."
"Oh Probie, seriously, I knew it took you a long time, but come on." Tony started.
"You know as well as I do that I started at 15. Ok DiNozzo, Truth or Dare?"
"Dare, I'm not afraid. Give me your best shot." Tony egged him on.
McGee thought about it for a few minutes, "I dare you to steal the director's coffee mug."
Tony was stunned, McGee came up with an impressive dare to say the least, danger, petty theft, and a chance to scare Cynthia, it reminded Tony of those panty raids from the good old days as a frat brother, while this wasn't nearly as dirty, it was about ten times more dangerous. "I accept."
After 15 minutes or so Tony shot his head up, "Ok Probie, here's the plan. You're going to fake a panic attack, no one will suspect you because you're a goodie two shoes, I'll slip in while you're doing your thing, steal the mug and dart back out, then I'll text you when all clear and you can take a few minutes to get it back together. Got it?" McGee nodded, "Ok, Probie, what are you going to do then?"
Tim rolled his eyes, they'd been on missions before its not like he has no memory or anything, "I'm going to go to the director's office on some false pretense and have a panic attack until you give the signal all clear."
"Good job, get to it, go ask her a question or something." Tony pointed toward the stairs.
McGee shook his head, there was no turning back now, and he'd never live it down. McGee made it up to Cynthia, "Is Director Shepard in?" She nodded and told him he could go in.
"McGee, what can I do for you today?" Jenny asked while she filed something away.
"I need to ask you something." He said flatly. Suddenly he began to shake and hyperventilate, hoping Tony would be fast about his capture.
"Cynthia! McGee is having some kind of fit, will you go get Ducky for me?" she shouted, while rushing to McGee's side, "Tim, Tim come on, calm down. You've got to calm down." She was trying to be soothing, though she didn't think it was really working. McGee caught DiNozzo slipping out from the corner of his eye and a minute later felt his cell phone vibrate.
By that time Ducky had arrived, "Timothy, what's wrong with you my boy?" he asked while looking him over. After five minutes worth of checks McGee managed to get away with a "Try not to over exert yourself."
Tony was smiling like a mad man when McGee made it back to his desk, "That was beautiful Probie, and now we have a trophy. Who should be punk next?"
"I don't know, I guess its your choice sense I dared you to steal from the director." McGee said, he had a smile on his face too. Thinking deep in his mind that Tony always brought out the worst in him, but it was fun.
DiNozzo thought about if for a couple of minutes, "Ducky. We've got to get Ducky some how. Any ideas, McMIT?"
"The bow-tie. We've got to get the bow-tie, but how? That's one I'm not sure, well frat boy?" Tim was grinning like a demon who was holding a deep secret, this was too much fun, the tiny voice in the back of his head was warning him, but he ignored it.
"Well, is there a body up there? If he's in his scrubs we just have to get past him and autopsy gremlin to get in the office, he keeps his clothes in a cubby box when he's working." The wheels in DiNozzo's head began to turn. "Ok, I'll take care of them, you just pull of the heist."
It went off without a hitch, it wasn't as hard as they had thought it was going to be, Ducky was with Abby in the lab and Jimmy took off the second Tony said Agent Marks and Agent Lee were getting pretty friendly at the coffee shop down the street.
Once back at their desks, Tim tied the bowtie around the coffee mug adding to their 'Trophy of Awesome' as Tony was now calling it.
The rest of the day basically followed suit, ending with McGee changing around everything on Gibbs's computer, and Tony doing the same to the stuff in Ziva's desk. The Trophy of Awesome now had one of Abby's little skeleton girl dolls sitting in the mud. DiNozzo dropped it into Gibbs's medals draw of his desk, assuming no one would ever look there.
Gibbs and Ziva walked in and sat at their desks, McGee and DiNozzo looked at one another and then darted to the elevators to go home. "Well that's not suspicious at all. Ziva, go home, the paper work can wait for the morning."
Ziva didn't move, "Ah Gibbs?"
"What Ziva?"
"Something isn't right. There is a something screwy." She said looking through her desk.
"How do you mean?" he said while trying to figure out where the files on his desktop had gone from his computer.
"The stuff in my desk, its not where I left it, or at least I don't think that's how I left it." She said looking confused.
"I think the boys have been up to some mischief. Don't worry Ziva, I'll make them fix it tomorrow morning, while they are fixing my computer." His desk phone rang. "Gibbs."
"Jethro," it was Jenny on the other end, "have you seen my coffee mug?"
"What? Why would I see your coffee mug, I mean I know I have coffee coursing through my veins but its my coffee not yours." Something in his gut was telling him that this too would find itself at the feet of Tony and Tim.
"Oh, well if you see it could you let me know?" she asked.
"Sure." Gibbs hung up the phone and saw a very angry looking Abby and Ducky storming towards him, "Duck, Abs, please tell me this is about a case."
"Wish I could Jethro, but it seems we've had a little thief at NCIS today, one of Abby's figurines has gone missing and hopefully its near my missing bowtie."
"They are so dead, that's the end of it." Gibbs said standing up and leaving.
Not bothering to call them because they probably wouldn't answer the phone he drove to McGee's apartment, and knocked on the door. McGee came to the door, "Uhm Boss, what are you doing here?"
"Why don't you tell me, Timothy?" he asked dryly.
This was bad, he couldn't Gibbs ever calling him that. "I don't know."
"Get your stuff. You're coming with me." Gibbs said in that scary Gibbs voice he does so well.
Tim was going to ask what to grab, but instead just grabbed his overnight back pack he always has ready to go. Gibbs didn't say anything, and Tim silently followed him to the car and got in the backseat. The same process followed at DiNozzo's apartment, except for the young lady in his bed.
Gibbs was driving back when he began his rant, "I have no idea what the hell you two were thinking, and don't bother trying to deny it, no one else would have the gall to pull those stunts today. When we get there you are going to immediately return the mug, bowtie, and Abby's thing, then Tony you'll be putting Ziva's things back in order, and McGee, you're going to put everything back the way it was on my computer. Am I understood?"
"Yea boss." Tony said.
"Yes, boss." McGee mumbled.
They walked over to their desks, where an unhappy team was standing waiting for them. They both stood there for a few minutes before Gibbs cleared his throat signaling that they should get to it.
Tony went over to his desk and pulled out their 'Trophy of Awesome.' The pair returned their items and tried to avoid everyone's eyes. "Ok, fix my computer and Ziva's desk, I'll be back in a few minutes."
The rest of the team went round the corner to discuss the situation. "So Jethro, what are you going to do about this?" Jenny asked.
"I don't know, I wasn't even here, well that's one thing, I'm never leaving those two alone ever again." Gibbs stared at the people staring at him, "Was anything damaged?"
"No."
"Well that's good. I guess I should go make sure they are doing what they are supposed to be doing." Gibbs said, and then he turned on his heel and went to check on the boys. McGee was at Ziva's desk helping Tony, "I thought I told you to fix my computer."
"Oh boss, I already did that, so figured I should help Tony, sense his was going to take longer." McGee said to defend his behavior.
"Fine. Tony you should feel lucky that Tim is so loyal to you." Gibbs said, he sat at his desk and watched them, fix Ziva's desk.
"Uhm, Boss?" DiNozzo waited until Gibbs looked back up at him, "We're done, everything is back to the way it was this morning."
"Good. Get your stuff we're going home." He said.
The younger agents weren't exactly sure if Gibbs was going to take them to their apartments or just make them sleep under the boat. Gibbs drove to his home and lead the two inside.
McGee spoke first, "Uhm, Gibbs, do you want us to call a cab or something?"
"If I wanted you to do that I wouldn't have put you in the car." He said flatly, "You two can't be left alone, so you're going to stay here for a while until I feel comfortable with you being on your own again."
Without a moment's hesitation Tony shouted, "I get the bed."
"I don't really care who gets what, in fact sense you'll be here indefinitely, you can figure it out on your own time." Gibbs said, with that he walked down stairs to work on his boat and call Jenny. "Hey Jen……I couldn't think of anything else to do with them…..Basically they're grounded……You never know, playing house might be good for them…..Well, there is one thing you could do…..You're no fun, but on the upside, Ziva is well behaved…..Goodnight Jen, see you tomorrow."