The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends. Or enemies for that matter. I don't own any part of Hogwarts either. Wish I did though…

A/N: This is the Hermione/Ron chapter I mentioned! Enjoy! Oh…and Hermione/Malfoy fans MAY like this. I'm not sure. If you're a Herm/Malfoy fan and it didn't really do much for you….sorry. ;;

Italics are thoughts

--.oOo.--

Hermione was sitting at a desk in Charms class (normally they'd be in Potions, but it had to cancelled due to an inexplicable smell XD) writing down notes. Professor Flitwick was actually rambling on about something completely unrelated to the subject but she thought she should be writing down something anyway.

"…and then my second cousin Alphonse comes in and tries to break up the fight, but Winry and Trisha shove him away and poor Alphonse falls right into his brother Edward! Then they both come crashing down into the table that had all the Butterbeer bottles! Hoo, we were just lucky they didn't get hurt by the glass shards." Flitwick rambled on about his family reunion.

"Didn't…get…hurt…by broken…bottles." Hermione wrote down. "OH!" she suddenly yelled.

Everyone turned to face her.

"Is there something wrong Miss Granger?" Flitwick asked in an annoyed voice. I was just getting to the good part!

"N…no sir! I was…just…excited about your story! What happened next?" Hermione blurted out nervously.

"Oh the funniest thing happened! You see, after we helped the brothers up there was a knock at the door and…!"

Hermione pretended to look interested as everyone slowly turned their attention away from her.

What was that? It felt like….like…someone groped me! Hermione thought with horror. It had truly felt that someone from behind had walked up and grabbed her butt.

Hermione turned her head just enough to see that the only one behind her was Malfoy!

What! No that CANNOT be right! Why would that greasy…FREAK grab me there! Why God WHY?

Malfoy was looking down at a piece of paper, doodling something on it. So he didn't notice that Hermione was staring daggers into him.

That perverted createn! He will PAY for that!

She slipped out her wand, careful that no one saw her, and pointed it at Malfoy.

"Knok-eeo-ballzis!" she whispered.

There was a little flash of light and then-

"ARRRGGGHHH!"

Malfoy toppled back onto the ground, writhing and rolling in pain. It seemed like an invisable boot was kicking him in his special place down below.

"What….is going on! MAKE. IT. STOP!" he cried.

Everyone got out their seats and rushed over to see the show. Flitwick tried to jump off his gaint pile of books he was standing on, only to end up toppling the books over and come crashing down.

Crabbe and Goyle just stood there dumb-founded. Not sure if they sould help, or if they'd have their little generals under attack if they did.

"That's what you get for what you did Malfoy! How DARE you violate me like that!" Hermione screeched. She was having a rare moment of rage right now.

"What…are you…talking about!"

Hermione leaned closer so she wouldn't have to say it loud enoguh that everyone could hear. "My butt! You grabbed my ass you slimeball! What's wrong with you! If sex if what you want then let me now say that you're the LAST person I'd EVER do it with!"

Malfoy's face turned ever paler than it already was.

"WHAT? WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MUDBLOOD LIKE YOU!" he bellowed.

I don't think I have to tell you that everyone heard that, and since no one but Malfoy heard what Hermione said they all thought that she was blackmailing Malfoy into having sex with her.

"Oh…my….God! Hermione what's gotten into you?" cried Ginny.

"That is disgusting…" muttered Dean.

Neville looked like he was about to cry.

"MISS GRANGER!" cired Flitwick before fallnig over again.

"Malfoy….you're not going to…you know…with-?" Crabbe started.

"NO! OF COURSE NOT!" The spell on Malfoy had apparently stopped.

"Then why-?"

"I DON'T KNOW, GOYLE!" Malfoy got up and started his way out of the room. "My father will hear about this Mudblood!"

Hermione had turned a very dark shade of red. She looked around the room; all eyes were staring at her appalled at what they thought the top Gryffindor had just done. Hermione quietly grabbed her things and left the room without a word.

--oOo--

By that afternoon almost everyone had heard about the 'Knok-eeo-ballzis' incident. Everyone who saw Hermione either looked away, shot her a disgusted look, shouted a nasty or perverted comment, or ran away(many guys chose the third one). Poor Hermione was so embarrassed and the thought of jumping from the Girl's Domitory corssed her mind a couple times. What really bugged her was that Malfoy obiously hadn't grabbed her. But then who did?

--oOo--

"Ron, do you have any idea what happened after you left?" Harry scolded Ron.

"No…I ran out right after I grabbed Hermione." Said Ron with a slight smile on his face as he recalled that glorious moment of his life.

"Didn't you see who was behind her? MALFOY!" Harry cried.

"So? She didn't think he did it…did she?" Ron asked worriedly.

"Yes, she did! Haven't you heard yet!"

"No…why? What happened?"

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That's it for chapter two! Now you know how my twisted mind works! X3

Poor Herm…I almost feel bad about that. But when Ron finds out he may feel like jumping out the tower himself!

Oh….I saw the Knok-eeo-ballzis on a comic by ktshy from deviantART. So…that wasn't a Half-Angel original.

Herm: Half-Angel? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL AT ALL!

Me: Says you, pervert.

Malfy: MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Me: Is that like your catch phrase?

--oOo--