Disclaimer: Not mine never happened. I'm not profiting or anything like that I'm just bored and drifting into La-La-Land and writing things down.
oOo
Omni POV
"Bee, where are we going?" Sam yawned. They had been driving for almost three and a half hours in the oddest convoy to ever trek the earth. A flaming Peterbilt leading the pack followed by a roaring black C4500 Topkick, a bright green emergency rescue hummer, silver Pontiac Solstice, and finally a shiny yellow 2009 Camaro. Said Camaro revved his engine making Sam think he was being laughed at. Lightly he smacked the passenger seat head rest.
Just let me drive, mmm, let me drive. I wanna feel that power comin' alive. Darlin' let me drive, mmm, let me drive, baby don't ask directions. Who needs a map when there's time to ride?
Sam laughed and Mikaela, who had been asleep against the door, raised a sleepy eyebrow, "Bette Midler? Not my first choice, but whatever."
Bumblebee's engine revved again and he lightly rocked on his wheels. Feeling the car slow Sam looked up surprised to see Optimus turning into what looked like a small deer path. His surprise, though, was quickly swallowed by fear when Bumblebee turned onto the path.
It technically wasn't even a path, it was a cratered battlefield, and thinking back to science class Sam was reminded of the pictures they had seen of the surface of the moon. Bumblebee of course plowed headlong onto the path hitting potholes and ruts with a devilish delight. Sam sat in the driver seat swearing and cursing every bump the Autobot managed to hit. He also began to question Mikaela's sanity as she laughed and urged Bee to go faster.
After what seemed like years Bumblebee came to a jarring halt next to Jazz. They were in a relatively large clearing, surrounded by large, ancient looking trees and filled with scruffy grass.
"Okay, are you gonna tell me where we are now? Especially after that little escapade. I'm surprised my limbs are still attached." Sam complained as Bee opened the doors. Mikaela laughed, "C'mon Sam that was fun!"
Sam opened his mouth to say something to her about taking her medication, when he remembered what he heard about the insane tow truck incident. Instead he shook his head and watched the giant mechs transform.
"We are in Serenity. This is a protected area of forest, or what your government calls a 'National Park'." Stated Optimus calmly.
"A National Park? Isn't that too, I dunno, public? I mean hikers could come through here at anytime or something." Sam cautiously peered into the surrounding woods. With a quiet laugh Optimus carefully sat next to a sturdy maple. "It is a public area, but our scanners can easily pick up approaching humans." He reassured. Sam nodded in relief. He really didn't want to have that conversation with someone right now.
"Now, we get to chill out ma' man, I gotta say that wasn't the most interestin' drive I've taken." Jazz drawled, he did a quick stretch and flopped on his back, tucking his hands behind his head. Bumblebee bounced over and tackled the other mech making Jazz yelp. Optimus shook his head and with a quiet chuckle reclined against a tree. After a few minutes of wrestling Bumblebee and Jazz quieted they both reclined in the middle of the clearing soaking up the last of the evening sun.
Yo',I'm just kickin' it! Yeah, yeah, just kickin' it!
The relaxing silence that had begun to settle over the valley was shattered by a loud burst of song from Bumblebee's speakers. The sound made Sam jump and he glared at his guardian, Mikaela had jumped too but she only laughed.
"Relax, Relate, Release. Relax, Relate, Release. It goes R times R times R, let it rain. R times R times R, let it rain."
Jazz chimed in. Whatever quiet meditation time Optimus had been hoping to have was officially gone and never coming back.
"Relax, kick your shoes off baby. Relax, here we are alone. Relax, if the phone rings, let it. Just forget it, we're not at home."
Mikaela laughed harder, "Elvis, seriously?" she clapped a hand over her mouth and continued to giggle as Bumblebee and Jazz went back and forth.
"Bumblebee! Your vocal processors have been fixed for almost three weeks. Must you keep using those annoying bytes?" Ratchet glared at his young patient. Bumblebee sat up and let out a burst of Cybertronian and the medics glare softened, a little. "Fine, but you need to work your vocals or they'll go right back to being useless."
Bumblebee flashed a sweet smile at the medic and dropped back to his former position.
You're foaming at the mouth, you're mad without a doubt— Jazz's speakers blared to life, but were quickly silenced by a well aimed branch. Bumblebee let out a peal of laughter as the silver 'bot sat up spitting out leaves and bark and glared at the medic who wore a satisfied smirk. Sam tried to stifle his laughter as the silver mech began muttering, what Sam assumed to be, curses in many different languages. He heard Optimus chuckle quietly and Ironhide snorted but there was a smile on his face.
Abruptly the laid back atmosphere became tangible with tension.
Jazz and Bumblebee shut off their music and were on their feet faster than Sam thought possible. Sam's laughter caught in his throat as Ratchet and Ironhide took up perimeter positions and Optimus began speaking rapid Cybertronian.
"What?" Sam began searching the trees and darkening sky for Decepticons. Mikaela stood next to him also warily searching the thick underbrush.
"Music." Was Jazz's curt reply as he continued to scan the woods.
"Music?" Sam was thoroughly confused, how could music be bad? They had just been blaring music back and forth, then the realization hit him like one of Starscream's missiles. Music equaled people, and people didn't know about the alien refugees they were sharing space with.
"Wait, I thought you said your scanners could pick up people?" Mikaela was looking at Ratchet for an explanation.
"We can, but that's the problem, there aren't any humans on our scanners. They are either being shielded by something, or our signals are being scrambled." He said tightly.
"Which means we don't know how close they are, or if they're even human." Ironhide finished.
"Bumblebee, Jazz." Optimus was still searching the perimeter, Bumblebee and Jazz gave a silent nod to their commander and slowly began pushing through the underbrush towards the sound. Mikaela began jogging after them,
"Mikaela where are you going?" Sam took off after her.
"Well, if the music is coming from people, what do you think Bumblebee and Jazz are going to do? Walk up and introduce themselves?" Mikaela didn't slow her pace as she pushed through bushes and low hanging branches. Sam shrugged and followed.
The larger robots covered ground more quickly than Sam and Mikaela, but their footprints were easy to follow and they quickly caught up to the two 'bots crouched at the edge of a valley.
"I can't believe it." Jazz's voice was like beating moth wings in a quiet room, Sam wasn't sure if he'd even heard it. Moving beside his guardian Sam and Mikaela each let out a gasp of surprise.
oOo
The valley itself was beautiful, with steep sloping sides covered in soft, lush grasses that swayed gently in the breeze, the floor of the valley was littered with small, fairy like trees, wildflowers, and more of the thick grasses that covered the floor. With tendrils of evening mist swirling in the air Sam wouldn't have been more surprised if a unicorn had stepped into view. But he was absolutely shocked to see two figures running, jumping, and chasing each other, around the feet of a giant robot.
The robot wasn't as big as Optimus or Megatron, but he was still a few feet taller than Bumblebee and Jazz. The thing that intrigued Sam the most was the robot's appearance. It wasn't bulky like the Autobots or Decepticons, it was slender. If Sam had to compare him to a human he would say this new robot was a tri-athlete, whereas the Autobots and Decepticons would be body builders. He was a sand color, with different swirls of yellows, reds, and blues that reflected the light of the setting sun. The robot's face was a darker shade of the same sand-yellow color, his optics didn't glow the usual red or blue instead they were a strange sea-green/teal color. It had a slender almost feminine looking face; that looked almost thoughtful, definitely intelligent.
"It's beautiful, like a supermodel or something, but in robot form." Mikaela sounded awed. The robot continued to sit calmly, lounging back on his elbows as the two figures continued to chase and wrestle.
"There's another one." Mikaela murmured as quietly as Jazz. Bumblebee and Jazz tensed emitting quiet whirs as they scanned the area again.
"There's another human, it's on the thing's shoulder." She clarified. Both Autobots relaxed back to their previous tension. Sam peered more closely at the sandy colored robot, and there perched on his shoulder was indeed another figure. In the growing twilight Sam wasn't sure though if it was a human or just a trick of the light and mist, the figure was barely discernable on the robots slender shoulder. Sam realized the robot's head was cocked to the side making Sam think he was listening to the figure. The music that had initially drawn them to the valley shut off as a clear flute-like voice echoed lightly through the valley, "Guess what time it is!"
Its peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time! Now where ye' at, where ye' at? Now there ya' go, there ya' go! Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly!
The robot raised a hand and the small figure jumped on and was delivered safely to the ground as bell-like laughter followed the loud song. Sam shifted, and like a thunder crack a twig snapped under him.
The valley fell unnaturally silent in a heartbeat. The robot was crouched in a defensive position glaring death; it seemed, right at Sam. Bumblebee and Jazz were equally defensive as they sprang up in front of Sam and Mikaela. Letting out a series of whistles and chirps Sam and Mikaela felt the ground shudder as Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet jumped from their hiding places landing on the lip of the valley.
"Name and designation, whose side are you on?" Optimus' booming voice carried an edge that he only used when he spoke to Decepticons. The other 'bot did not move or speak; the humans behind him fidgeted. Optimus' voice lost some of the edge the next time he spoke, "We will not hurt you or your humans. We only wish to know who you are."
The robot was like a statue, but one of the small figures moved from behind him to his side. Patting the robot's massive leg the figure took a dozen cautious steps forward, the other two followed. The robot let out a low sound that vibrated through the ground; Ironhide's cannons were hot and ready, pointing them at the other 'bot, "Watch yerself hot shot." Was his warning growl.
"'Hide." Optimus warned. The figures had stopped during the brief exchange, the smaller of the three turned and looked up at the mech, after a moment the 'bot nodded and relaxed his position. Sam felt the Autobots tense as the mech straightened out.
"My associates have requested I be civil, and so I will be. My name, since you asked so nicely, is Sandstorm. My rank and designation, well, quiet frankly that is none of your damn business." The robot's voice was a soft tenor, distinctly male; the tone also seemed to imply he had a problem with authority.
Ironhide growled, his cannons crackling, Optimus shot him another warning glance. Again Sam heard the bell-like laughter; looking down into the valley he could now see the figures at the base of the slope. There were two boys and a small girl, all three of which were trying to stifle their laughter.
Sam had to admit he'd never seen anyone in boring old Tranquility that he could compare to the trio. From the small amount of skin Sam could see he deduced that the girl really was a ghost. Her skin was white, snow white, paper white, alabaster white; whatever you wanted to call it the girl was white. She wore a black bucket hat that was covered in patches; from underneath the hat a short ponytail stuck out, if possible her hair was even whiter than her skin, it was almost translucent. She had on a black long sleeved shirt with a skull and rose on it; her black pants were covered in chains and zippers.
The boys were dressed similar, the one on the left had dark brown hair streaked with honey, it looked like his hair had been cut with a weed whacker, some pieces falling into his face, in other areas it barely touched the top of his ears. He was wearing a tight fitting black shirt with a demented smiley face on it. His skin was a light honey color, but looked almost caramel next to the white girl. His black pants were also loaded with chains and zippers.
The boy on the right was surprisingly similar in appearance to the other. His hair was darker, almost black; instead of honey streaks Sam thought he could see burgundy and dark blue. Again, his hair looked like it had been caught in a machine, but it was almost consistently below his ears. His black shirt was also snug fitting the words Korn were scrawled across the front. His skin was slightly darker than his friends, really was a startling contrast to the girl's. His pants weren't covered in chains and zippers, but every seam was outlined in bright red.
Jazz and Bumblebee bristled, but didn't take their eyes off of Sandstorm. Optimus didn't spare them a glance, but seemed to be annoyed at Sandstorm's answer.
"Are you friend or foe Sandstorm?" the edge had returned to Optimus' voice.
"Neither." Was Sandstorm's curt reply. Optimus' optics narrowed, "I'm afraid I don't understand." Sandstorm sighed, "Neither. That implies, that I am not a friend or an enemy, I am neutral."
"All th' neutrals were killed by th' cons." Ironhide growled, cannons heating to an icy blue. Sandstorm glared at him, "Well I don't know what the hell a 'con' is and I don't know who the hell you are. So until we get some things straightened out buddy, that's all the info you're gettin' on me." The sandy colored mech barked angrily. Ironhide's cannons turned red as he and Sandstorm glared at each other.
"Sandy, play nice!" The flute-like voice rang through the valley, small laughs punctuating the short sentence. A smile flickered across the mech's face, but soon he was back to glaring at the Autobots. The valley was plunged into a tense silence for a beat, Sam was beginning to worry someone might start firing. He looked down at the three teens again, they had stopped at the edge of the valley and were looking up at them smiling.
Mikaela stepped forward, "I really don't see what you find so funny about this, what you guys are treating as a joke is dead serious to us." She glared at the teenagers at the bottom of the valley. All three looked at her, "You sound like my mom." Stated the boy with the strange and scary smiley face on his shirt, he had a low scratchy tenor voice; it sounded like he was losing his voice. His two friends began giggling again. Mikaela was a heartbeat away from going down there and giving them each a piece of her mind, but Sam grabbed her arm.
"Hey," he shouted down, gathering everyone's attention, "you remember that battle a couple weeks ago in Mission City? These are the guys that were in that, they've been through enough in the last couple of centuries and they don't need your disrespect." Sam was glaring at the trio, daring them to laugh again. They didn't look the least bit cowed. The small girl still had an impish smile on her features and the boys looked like they were trying to keep their laughter contained.
Sandstorm only raised an optic ridge, the three at the base of the valley looked from Sam to the Autobots, "Wow, you guys must have killer insurance rates." The boy with the Korn shirt had a deeper voice than his friend; but he also sounded like he was losing his voice. The other two snorted and giggled, trying to hold back their laughter. Mikaela shook off Sam's grip and took a step towards the trio, but Sandstorm's voice cut through the air, "It won't do any good, they could find something to laugh at, at a funeral. It's who they are and probably why we get along so well."
"Common courtesy should be universal. Optimus has treated you respectfully and you laugh? I don't care what kind of authority problem you seem to have; war veterans should be treated better than that." Mikaela told him hotly. Sandstorm's expression was unreadable, "Fine, princess," he said in a laid back tone that held an icy undercurrent, he looked at Optimus, "as one war veteran to another, I think I'm done talking to you, sir, and my cohorts and I will take our leave of you."
oOo
Sandstorm's POV
Who the hell did that little runt 'bot think he was? He was the one that had not only scared Axel, Kai, and Lani half to death, but Sandstorm almost wasted the little human that had broken the stick. Then the little bastard had called up his friends, which sadly, were bigger than Sandstorm and bristling with weapons. The largest 'bot with flames on his chest seemed to be the one in charge.
"Name and designation, whose side are you on?" His voice held an edge and an authoritative tone that Sandstorm had come to despise. He chose not to answer; he'd always had issues with people trying to tell him what to do.
"We will not hurt you or your humans, we only wish to know, who you are." The big robot was talking to him again, the edge had softened a little; but Sandstorm was still a little pissed at the unpleasant intrusion.
Feeling a light pat on his lower leg Sandstorm didn't relax, but he didn't stop Lani from approaching the other robots. Axel and Kai soon followed, like they always did, Sandstorm let out a low warning rumble resonate from him.
"Watch it hot shot." The big black mech was really the only one Sandstorm thought could give him a hard time; he looked trigger happy and clearly did not like the sandy colored mech.
"'Hide" The big mech was back to talking. Lani turned and gave Sandstorm a 'behave or your grounded look' and Sandstorm, let a small rush of air escape his vents he straightened, "My associates have requested I be civil, and so I will be. My name, since you asked so nicely, is Sandstorm. My rank and designation, well, quiet frankly that is none of your damn business." Sandstorm couldn't keep the petulant note out of his voice as he addressed the other robots. Lani let out one of her trademark laughs when she heard Sandstorm's reply. The two smaller robots did not look happy at being laughed at, 'flame boy' as Sandstorm dubbed him, seemed more annoyed at his answer than he did the laughing.
"Are you friend or foe Sandstorm?" He seemed irritated, Sandstorm smirked internally; he just lived to piss people off. What could he say, it was a gift.
"Neither." How the hell was he supposed to know if he was this glitchin' 'bot's enemy or friend?
"I'm afraid I don't understand." Flame boy was starting to sound like he'd let the big black mech unload on Sandstorm. Not that he was worried, these clunkers wouldn't give him too much trouble. Though the small silver and yellow ones looked faster than their larger comrades; he'd have to take them out first so he wouldn't have to worry about them circling behind him.
"Neither. That implies, that I am not a friend or an enemy, I am neutral." Sandstorm felt like he was talking to a child. It had been centuries since he had spoken to another sentient robot, and now he was wishing it would've been a couple more group was seriously grating on his nerves.
"All th' neutrals were killed by th' cons." The black mech had his cannons ready again. Sandstorm was tempted to roll his eyes but didn't want to give the silver or yellow robots a chance to grab Axel, Kai, or Lani.
"Well I don't know what the hell a 'con' is and I don't know who the hell you are. So until we get some things straightened out buddy, that's all the info you're gettin' on me." Sandstorm had a serious issue with people he didn't know prying him for information, especially if those people were trigger happy robots with an attitude problem. Said trigger happy 'bot's cannons were crackling menacingly, well it would've been menacing if Sandstorm thought the junker could hit him. His recoil springs were probably so old they didn't even make them anymore. Sandstorm began to bring his own weapons online with an inaudible purr his main cannon began to charge.
"Sandy, play nice!" Lani's clear voice cut through the tension in the air like a knife, Sandstorm didn't completely power his weapons down, but he reduced the power and slowed the charging to a crawl. He couldn't help the small smile that flickered across his face; the girl's enthusiasm was infectious, which brought him back to the angry, somewhat threatening robots she was standing in front of.
"I really don't see what you find so funny about this, what you guys are treating as a joke is dead serious to us." The female stepped forward, malice and annoyance clear in her tone; a blue light flickered on one of Sandstorm's screens, his weapons were hot and ready.
"You sound like my mom." Axel had always reminded Sandstorm of himself; the kid just had a knack for pissing people off. Lani and Kai of course broke into hysterics while the other female looked like she was ready to kill someone. The male that had been quiet, gently grabbed her arm, "Hey," the male was glaring at the Axel, Kai, and Lani, Sandstorm apparently forgotten. "You remember that battle a couple weeks ago in Mission City? These are the guys that were in that, they've been through enough in the last couple of centuries and they don't need your disrespect." He barked. Sandstorm raised an optic ridge, really not impressed with the small heartfelt speech.
In the brief silence that followed the outburst Sandstorm could practically feel the smart ass response that was guaranteed to come, mostly because he'd already thought of a good dozen; sure enough Kai didn't let him down, "Wow, you guys must have killer insurance rates." There was just enough awe in his voice to give the sentence a sincere yet mocking tone. Sandstorm held back his own laughter as Lani and Axel tried to keep themselves from losing it completely. Now both the female and the male were livid, Sandstorm decided to cut in before they tried to go after his three humans. "It won't do any good; they could find something to laugh at, at a funeral. It's who they are and probably why we get along so well." And it was true, Sandstorm was sure it was his ability to find humor in all of life's situations that kept him sane through the centuries.
"Common courtesy should be universal. Optimus has treated you respectfully and you laugh? I don't care what kind of authority problem you seem to have; war veterans should be treated better than that." The female looked like she was ready to rip out Sandstorm's circuits. He could care less, he now knew 'flame boy' had a name, Optimus; never heard of him. If the girl was going to talk about common courtesy and respect for veterans then Sandstorm felt obliged to set this little girl straight. "Fine, princess," Sandstorm glanced at Optimus, "as one war veteran to another, I think I'm done talking to you, sir, and my cohorts and I will take our leave of you."
oOo
Omni POV
Sandstorm collapsed quickly into a Jeep Rubicon, his engine revved slightly as the doors popped open. The three teenagers with a quick wave ran towards the jeep and jumped in. Within a minute the jeep with its three passengers had disappeared from the valley.
"I still can't track them Optimus; he must have some sort of scrambling device activated." Ratchet sounded crankier than usual. He did not like the smart mouth Sandstorm. For some reason he'd had the feeling he and his fellow Autobots were lucky the annoying humans had been present. When Ratchet had run his initial check on the 'bot he hadn't been able to do more than process a very simple external scan, whatever was blocking their tracking sensors was also jamming his medical equipment.
"What the hell! Optimus are you gonna just let that smart ass punk and his friends walk away?" Mikaela's angry outburst pulled Ratchet from his musings.
"No Mikaela, I'm not. We need to know if he is sympathetic for the Decepticons, which, given his answers and demeanor is a very real possibility. Autobots, we need to roll out, now!" transforming quickly Optimus accelerated down the slope towards the area where Sandstorm had disappeared. Ratchet and Ironhide were hot on his tail. Bumblebee and Jazz quickly transformed, both still fuming, Sam and Mikaela were barely in when Bumblebee tore down the slope at break neck speed, Jazz keeping pace next to him.
If Sam had thought the insane chase with Barricade or the terrifying ride earlier that day were life threatening then this fanatical ride was a guarantee for death, Sam sat white faced and wide-eyed in the driver's seat waiting for death. Trees whipped by at blinding speed, Bumblebee swerved and missed a tree with a trunk of at least six feet by only centimeters.
Even Mikaela, who apparently had a thing for suicidal joy rides, had a white knuckled grip on the seat. When the convoy finally broke through the thick underbrush onto a small service road Sam thought he was going to cry, he'd never been so happy to see a road. The mad ride didn't end there though, the Autobots began to speed up, Sam watched as Bee's speedometer crept towards one hundred.
Mikaela on the other hand seemed to loosen up, now that there weren't any killer trees, rocks, or other such natural obstacles she didn't seem to mind the suicidal speed on the loose gravel road. Within minutes the Autobots had caught up to the sandy colored Jeep Rubicon. Transforming while still going at least ninety Ironhide flipped and rolled in front of Sandstorm with his weapons hot and ready. Ratchet, and Jazz also transformed and came to a sliding halt on either side of the rogue 'bot. Optimus transformed landed next to Ironhide, Bumblebee came to a screeching halt, throwing Mikaela and Sam out he transformed and took up position behind Sandstorm. Sam and Mikaela stayed back far enough that the Autobots didn't have to worry about stepping on them.
"Sandstorm, our conversation is not over." Optimus sounded angry, actually he sounded down right pissed. With a quiet rev of his engine the doors on the Rubicon opened and the three teens cautiously slid out. With a quiet whir of gears Sandstorm transformed, He stood protectively over the three teens in the same half crouch he'd used in the valley.
"Keep your humans out of this, they can pass freely, but until we are certain you are no threat you will be detained." Optimus was definitely angry. The three teens stared at Optimus for a moment then the small girl placed a hand on Sandstorm's leg and looked up at the quiet robot. The two boys did the same, Sandstorm relaxed out of his crouch, looking down at the three humans he flashed a smile; the three flashed their own grins and with the small fairy girl leading the way the three pranced out of the circle of robots toward Mikaela and Sam.
OoOoO
A/N: This is all so familiar...thanks for reading again!
Songs: Bette Midler- Let Me Drive
DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince- Just Kickin' it
Graham Coxon- Freakin' Out
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Eddie Brock- Relax, Relate, Release
Elvis Presley- Relax