Dr. Doofenshmirtz wondered just how he got into this mess. Oh yeah, this was all because of an email. This was all happening because of a ridiculous, stupid, horrible, forsaken, email. That one email with that one attached file, sent to that one recipient, is what caused everything to go horrible. It was ridiculous, right? Completely ridiculous! He was spinning in circles, fighting Rodney for a weapon that he didn't even want! But there was no way he could let the dude have the thing!

Even if he won this fight and got the gun, what was he going to do with it? He couldn't shoot someone! He wasn't capable of doing something like that, and he was pretty sure Rodney knew that. They were all doomed!

He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he shot someone, but he also knew that he'd never live with himself if Rodney obtained the gun and shot one of those kids, or worse he would shoot his nemesis…What? Don't look at him like that! He didn't forget about the evil girl, he just…Okay, okay! He admits that if she ended up getting shot that he would care a little bit less than if it were Perry the Platypus or Perry the Platypus' owners who got shot…It wasn't a terrible conclusion to make! The woman dumped him for loads and loads of money! …Okay, he also admits that even he would also dump himself for loads and loads of money... but still!

Spinning in circles with a gun definitely wasn't a good thing, not only was it dangerous and completely reckless but it was downright scary. The fact that he was blindly spinning with the gun didn't help the situation at all, especially with rounds firing uncontrollably. Also the screaming in the background just freaked him out all the more.

People were screaming because they were scared- (Obviously, wouldn't you scream too?) -and those people were those two boys, their sister, his nemesis and that evil girl he once dated. What a mess this was, really.

The shots kept crashing from the gun the two scientists were both fighting for, again and again. This had to be stopped. Someone was going to be killed! So Doofenshmirtz kept fighting, yanking, pulling, pushing, twisting, and doing just about anything he could to keep Rodney from pulling the weapon from his hands. He really hoped someone had a plan at this point! He could already feel his fingers slipping…

"Go Dr. D!" Phineas yelled.

"Get down!" Candace screamed and pulled her two brothers to the floor with her.

The woman in the purple dress and moon earrings stood angrily, shaking her fist in the direction of the two fighting scientists. "Hey! I can hear your thoughts, you know! What do you mean you'd care less?!"

"I said, get down!" Candace pulled the woman to the floor by her wrist, a bullet barely missing the woman's head. "I don't know what the heck is wrong with you people!" Candace told the woman and her brothers. "If someone is shooting off rounds, you drop to the floor! I thought that was basic action movie logic!"

"What do we do, Ferb?" Phineas asked.

Ferb shrugged, using his arms to shield his head.

Candace yelled over the bullets. "We stay down!"

Phineas shook his head. "I still can't believe this all started because Dr. D sent that email. What an unfortunate chain of events."

Ferb nodded in agreement.

"Well, believe it!" Candace glared. "Heinz is a complete idiot!"

"Hey!" Doofenshmirtz let go of the gun and pointed an accusing finger at Candace. "You know I can hear what you-" He looked at their horrified expressions and gasped as he looked down at his empty hands. "Whoops…"

Rodney smirked and raised the gun at them.

Candace got up and stamped her foot. "Nice going!"

Doof glared back at her. "Hey, you're the one who distracted me!"

"You all must think I'm an imbecile." Rodney said, and yelled at the group. "Get up and raise your hands immediately!"

Phineas, Ferb, and the evil woman complied. Slowly they stood and put their hands in the air. Candace did what was told and raised her hands too. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was last to do so, silently lifting his arms into plain sight.

"Turn around, all of you!"

The five followed orders and spun around to face the wall. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was the only one who smirked to himself, and was the wiser of what was about to happen next. He tested his luck and said the key words. "Hey…Where's Perry the Platypus?"

That was the cue and the previously hidden platypus jumped on the gun, starting another struggle.

"Ha!" Doof taunted in triumph.

"How'd you know that was going to happen?" Phineas asked him.

"He didn't" Candace rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz rolled his too, and shrugged. "She's right, I didn't. But it was cool, wasn't it?"

"Really cool!" Phineas agreed.

Ferb coughed and got Doof's attention.

"Yes?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Don't just stand there." Ferb said. "Help him." He said and pointed to the door that Alt. Doof bolted through before the first struggle for the gun. Dr. Doofenshmirtz nodded and pushed through the double doors. He skidded down the halls and didn't look back, not even when he heard the gun started to go off again. Perry the Platypus could handle it, right?

He gasped, clutching his shoulder and leaning up against the wall. Alt. Doof groaned louder with the more pressure he put on it. This shit really hurt, seriously. Getting shot through the shoulder was no damn joke. God, this SUCKS.

But he had to keep moving, he had to find-

"Shit." Alt. Doof stumbled and fell back against the wall. He had to find- Shit, he had to find- Damnit… He couldn't focus. "Stupid mortalityyyy…" He moaned and slid down to the floor. Shutting his eye was proving way too easy, but for the life of- for the life of- Ugh…that- "Damn machineeeee…" He whined, and he just had to stay focused.

His head rolled to the side and focused on a closet. Crawling to it- or was he limping? He grasped the knob with a bloody hand and turned it until it clicked open. Shelves of all kinds of supplies met his gaze and he pulled down what he needed.

Pulling down towels and antiseptic and bandages, the items were now scattered around him as he pulled himself back to the wall for support. With one hand he pulled back his clothes to reveal the wound, red and rotting. All he could smell was the blood, clouding him and making him feel sick. He bit into his shirt collar to brace himself before dousing it in a clear, and burning, liquid.

Recovering slowly and reawakening his senses from the sensation, he wrapped around his arm with bandages, tightly and ripped it off the role with his teeth.

He could tie it only so well with one hand, but it would have to do until something better arose to use. On his feet and walking straighter, Alternate Doofenshmirtz trekked on through the white hallways.

Phineas flinched at the force and sound of it but then his entire body went still. The shock registered through him before any other feeling or emotion and for a moment he was numb. Then it came to him all at once from every direction, centering around his heart and he felt a pain. The young body hit the floor, thick with the blood but all he could do was shout as his eyes blurred for him from the tears. "No! …NO!"

"Other me…? Hey, other me, are you down here? Yo?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz ceased his loud whisperings, gave up, and shouted. "YO, OTHER ME!"

"QUIET!" An equally loud voice hissed back at him. "They can hear you!"

"Other me, there you are!" Doof said, still loud.

"Quiet!" Alt. Doof scolded. "I said, they can hear you! Get down!" He whispered and pulled the scientist to the ground with him against the wall.

Doofenshmirtz nodded and went silent, waiting. He wasn't really that patient. "Who can hear me, other me?"

"Shhh!" Alt. Doof half whispered, or more so growled at him. He peeked around the corner at the two Normbots keeping watch in front of a sliding door, pulling his moron of a counterpart's head so the scientist could see what he was seeing.

"Oh!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed and the two robots were alerted, looking around for the noise.

Alt. Doof pushed them both back behind the wall, and when the robots that were no longer under his control looked away, he turned back to glare at the scientist. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why can't you, for ONCE in your life just SHUT UP when I tell you something? Hm? Why can't you just respect that I know what I'm talking about and to leave well enough alone? Huh? Why is it that you JUST can't do that?"

"Um-"

"This is of course how this all started, right?" Alternate Doofenshmirtz kept going. "I told you something, and you didn't trust my perspective so you went elsewhere to find it. You sent that email, and now all of THIS happened… And NOW I'm telling you, no- begging you, to SHUT UP before you finish off ruining what little life I have left in all of this. So PLEASE…please, please, please, please, please, please, please...be quiet…'kay?"

Doof nodded blankly while Alt. Doof pulled out the crowbar he was hiding between his back and the wall. The other him looked around the corner once before taking a deep breath and throwing the metal bar where it flew pass the robots and away before landing with a clang! Dr. Doof face palmed before seeing that the robots flew away to follow the sound, then his one-eyed counterpart scrambling to the automatic sliding door. He got up and followed, staring while the injured man tried to pry it open. He didn't really understand. "What are you doing?"

His voice, like before was too loud again and alerted the Normbots who turned around to spot them. The robots lights turned a blood red to show their anger at being fooled and infiltrated on.

Alt. Doof was desperate at this point. "Help me!" He cried and pulled at the doors harder.

"Help you with what?"

"The door! Please, just grab the door!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz never saw the other him so full of fear. He grabbed the door as told. "Now what?"

"Pull! For the love of- you stupid idiot, just PULL!"

And they pulled together. Their doubled strength did the trick and the door was forced open.

"We did it!" Doof cheered and was last to notice the Normbots coming right for them at an alarming speed.

"Move!"

"What?"

"MOVE!" Alt. Doof shouted and pushed him in through the door, so hard that he landed a few feet from the entrance. His counterpart jammed shut the door barely a second before the robots charged at it. They paused outside the windowed door, staring at them through the glass.

"What are they doing?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"They can't get through." Alt. Doof said, standing and then helping up his counterpart. "This room was specifically built. It's like a bomb shelter. Nothing can break or blow it in..." The dictator trailed his voice and traveled further into the room. "

"It was a good idea coming in here, other me. They can't get us now. You're brilliant."

"I could care less if they got me."

"I don't understand." Dr. Doofenshmirtz admitted but his counterpart just walked deeper in.

"I didn't come in here to save myself."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Why do you call me that anyway?" Alternate Doofenshmirtz questioned suddenly.

"Call you what, other me?"

"That." The other him emphasized. "That- that, other me. Why do you call me that?"

"I don't know." Doof shrugged. "That's what you are, aren't you? You're another version of me. You're another me, it makes sense. I thought it was an okay nickname…but if you don't like it then of course I can always STOP-"

"No." Alt. Doof told him. "It's…cute. I suppose."

"Cute?" Doof said incredulously. "I didn't know someone like you was even CAPABLE of saying the word cute."

"Someone like me, huh?"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz heart jumped. "That's not what I-"

"What kind of a person am I?" Alt. Doof intimidated and his counterpart stuttered.

"A- A really good one…"

"You're a terrible liar." The dictator said plainly. "I'm offended because of it."

"Well don't be." Doof said. "I don't have any idea of what it is I'm even saying at this point… Hey, you're smart. What is it I'm saying, other me?" He waited for an answer. "Other me? …What are you looking at?" The scientist looked ahead of the dictator, and -like his counterpart- froze into silence.

Of course the two men, along with being the same in every way, were very, very different in things. This included their ways of showing emotions. Alternate Doofenshmirtz accepted things and responded appropriately to them, while Dr. Doofenshmirtz just gawked and pointed like an imbecile.

"Hey, what's that?" Doof asked.

So he did just that, standing there pointing stupidly and questioning until the other him furiously slapped his hand down. He didn't know why the other him was suddenly so upset. He was just surprised as all, wasn't this the normal reaction when someone found a large, weird, blue, glowing, tube-y thing? They freak out about it? But at least they were reacting the same in one way, they were both still staring at it. So he tried again. They were somewhat on the same page with this thing, right?

"What's the matter? What's that thing?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked, not meaning to say it as quickly as he did.

"My globules in a jar." Alt. Doof sighed.

"You know that is the weirdest thing anyone's ever said to me, right?"

"I can't believe this!"

"Believe what, other me?"

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SEND THAT STUPID EMAIL?!"

"I-" Doofenshmirtz started but his counterpart by now had already calmed himself.

"I'm not mad at you." Alt. Doof said, tugging back his hair. "I'm not, I just- I wish you would have just listened when I-" His voice failed him, and his charade was over. He couldn't hold it anymore. "Oh…Oh Platyborg- What did he do?"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz realized that his counterpart wasn't talking to him anymore, but was talking in the direction of the giant, blue illuminating, tube. Some would have momentarily labeled the man as insane- and he did for a few seconds, but denied it.

Then he looked deeper, past the cold fog seeping from the metal tubing and past the wires to what it was all holding. A small body was in the middle of it all, floating peacefully. It's metallic hands hung limply by its sides but it didn't move. The thing didn't even look like it was alive.

"Perry the Platyborg?" Doof questioned. "What's he doing here?"

There was some kind of love, some kind of hidden affection in the dictator's eye whenever he looked at the thing. When the cyborg looked back, the unspoken feelings were mirrored almost completely if not a little fuzzy. He had caught the other him and the cyborg exchanging silent glances before, both of them weighing their options upon each other evenly. Now the weight was thrown into the other him's eye, left for his counterpart to hold all alone. The cyborg's eyes, both organic and non were closed, its bill in a deep frown that one might've describe as one of pain but it wasn't that. The thing was completely unharmed, it was only trapped. At least that's what it looked like to him. He could've been wrong.

"What's going on, other me? How could all of this have been triggered by an email? This doesn't make any-" Dr. Doofenshmirtz jumped and spun around to the door where the robots were now trying to break in by force, ramming themselves against the Plexiglas. He laughed at them. "Haha! Look at them! They're so stupid, they think they can actually-" The scientist's laugh had a heart attack and died on scene when the glass started to crack under the robots weight. "…Shoot. They can! ...Other me!" He called his counterpart for help.

Alt. Doof looked up. "Help me."

"Help you?" Doof exclaimed. "Help US!"

"Help me get him out of here!"

"But the robots-!"

"Just help me!"

Doofenshmirtz looked between the furious robots and his counterpart, and broke. He whined his surrender loudly. "Fineeeeeeeeeeee! How do we get him out?"

The door started to creak and the two counterparts turned in alarm. The Normbots were prying open the door. Alternate Doofenshmirtz ran to secure the door, pushing one side closed with one hand and pulling with the other at the other side of the door. He started giving orders over his shoulder. "Open the panel!"

"Okay!" Doof called back and did it. "Done."

"Okay- Now, close it."

"Close it?!"

"Just trust me!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz nodded to no one and closed it, surprised when the futuristic tube started to talk.

"Welcome, to the Polymethyl Methacrylate-izer." It said in a feminine computerized voice, and the scientist swore he heard the other him curse at the very last part of the name. "Also known throughout the lab as the P.M.M.A.-izer. Who would you like to cryogenically imprison today? We have a long list of settings we know you'd like to…-"

"Kick the panel in!" Alt. Doof yelled over the rest of the message, straining to keep the door from breaking open. Pieces of glass were already splitting against his hands.

"I'm not that strong enough to-"

"JUST DO IT!"

"Okay…" Doof gulped, and brought his left foot back, thought about it more and then switched to his right foot.

"Okay, okay…" Alt. Doof huffed. "I'm going to let them in."

"YOU'RE GONNA WHAT?!"

"Kick it as hard as you can when I say now and grab him, do you understand?"

"What are you-!"

"I said kick it when I say now!"

"WAIT-!"

"NOW!"