Inspired by the red herring from Digital Spy "Gwen writes a love letter to Merlin—but mistakenly sends it to Arthur." Any mistakes are my own here. This was originally set to be a one-off fanfic but due to its popularity I have planned out a whole story. It was *roughly* be a story in ten parts. Part 1 contain spoilers for episodes up to 1x06, and Part 2 up to 1x07.

Merlin walked down the stony steps, whistling as he went but in a manner that all people did when they were trying to look inconspicuous. It was an art that Merlin had not yet mastered; servants and courtiers watched him as he went passed.

Finally he reached his destination; the loose stone at the back of the northwest wing of the castle. Looking around him, he pulled it out and found, as there had been for the last six weeks each time he looked, a note inside. He took it out and replaced it with the one he had been carrying.

He checked around before replacing the stone and made his way off. He was told to make sure that no one saw him take or leave the note. Convinced he had managed to do exactly this without someone asking him what he was doing, he rushed back the way he had come.

Another art that Merlin had not quite mastered was checking behind corners to see if anyone had seen him. This is because, as soon as he left, Gwen came out from behind the pillar from where she had been watching, and checked everywhere else to make sure no one was spying on her. Pleased that no one had seen either of them, she took away the stone and took the note Merlin had so thoughtfully left.

Gwen decided the best thing to do was to take it home and read it. She had been doing so for the last twenty three letters that had been left there. The first two she hadn't been able to resist tearing it open with her teeth. Now she treated it as if it were a present at Christmas, the way you want to pick at it but try your best to wait until the big day.

After several exchanges she believed that she had come to know the style of her secret lover. The awkward thing about his notes was that, as far as Gwen could tell, he didn't realise that the love letters were from her. He said as much in every single one of his letters:

Your words were sweetly awkward in a manner that I feel is becoming of a virtuous woman. But your silence arouses my curiosity as to who you are. Can you not find it in yourself to reveal a name?

That was the first time. Truth was that she was too shy to admit to it yet; the thought of what he'd think when he found out prevented her. She wasn't ready, and she'd even said so in her last letter before the one Merlin had just taken:

I often wonder if I should tell you that it is me that writes of their love for you—but I always stop myself; fearing your reaction once you discover it was me all along.

Gwen passed her father's workshop on the way home. They waved to each other and she smiled knowing that it meant she could read her latest letter in peace. As she got through the door she quickly opened the letter and begun to read:

Once again I was vexed to read that you refuse to tell me your name.

At first I was merely curious to know the identity of my secret admirer but you are starting to plague my mind. I guess at names all the time, and I'm sure you have crossed my mind in those thoughts, and I dare not look any woman in the face for fear that you will reveal yourself unwillingly. My curiosity is high, love, but I wish not to force you to reveal your identity until you are ready.

Nonetheless I do not mind telling you that your fear of me hurts. I can understand why you wish not to reveal who you are because of my position, but it makes me no less a human being and no different from other men.

I shall not lie to you—I have often considered waiting for you myself when you leave your letters in our secret alcove, just to see your face. Then I stop myself, and I wonder if it were possible to fall in love sight unseen. When I first read your letters I believed not. I believed that I and others like me would be too fickle to fall in love with a lover's thoughts without knowing how beautiful she is. Indeed, as you said once in your first letter, one could fall in love with Lady Morgana easily just by sight but her forwardness and slight masculinity can easily confuse a man.

Yet I consider you different and have begun to see you differently. For a long time you had many faces but now you have none. I begin to believe that denial of your identity might make me a better person for, at the moment, I feel it possible that I could fall in love with you without ever seeing your face.

Gwen put the letter down and sighed. If that were truth, and there was no reason why not, then she had more time to gain the courage to approach him. When the time came she wouldn't reveal her identity in a letter. She would walk up to him and tell him that it was her that wrote the letters. If it was possible that he could fall in love with the writer of these letters then it was possible that he'd love her no matter what.

She decided to write the reply that night—she had only just left a letter and not it was getting to a point where they were sending one every day rather than every other day.

Gwen put it away in a wooden box that had belonged to her mother, given to her by her father, and tied it to all the other letters she had received. She tied them all together with a blue ribbon that had been tied around a bunch of flowers sent to Morgana that had been discarded once the flowers began to wilt.

Brushing her finger tips one last time over the quantity of letters written she placed them back in the box, locked it and put it under her bed. She had to return to the castle and to tending her mistress.

-

Merlin returned to Arthur's chamber where the prince was looking out the window. It was a pleasant day in Camelot and the sounds of the castle were drifting in from the open pane. As soon as Merlin walked in Arthur turned and listened to the checks off the 'to do list' that was his job as Arthur's manservant.

"Good morning, your highness," Merlin said in a put-on pleasant voice. "I freshly polished your armour last night, I also polished your boots, cleaned your tunic and even used extra polish on the buttons, just the way you like it."

Arthur took the tunic and looked at it, "No need to be cheeky."

"I didn't say anything," the servant said.

Arthur looked at the tunic. It was perfect. He looked at Merlin with a raised eyebrow, "What is your secret, Merlin?"

Merlin smiled smugly, "Nothing, just dedication to work."

Arthur scoffed, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were using magic."

The servant's eyes widened briefly before he recovered himself. He chuckled, "What, an idiot like me use magic?"

Arthur smiled before holding out his hand, "Anything else?"

Merlin stared at the hand before he remembered.

"Oh," he said pulling out the letter from his pocket. "I picked up your latest love letter from your secret girlfriend."

The prince took the note from Merlin. He opened the letter and began to read it, sitting at his bureau, fingers over his lips as if he were pondering over something. After a minute or so of reading it over and over he had forgotten Merlin was standing there.

Finally the young manservant spoke up, "Erm, do you still need me? Only I promised Gaius I'd do my rounds…"

Arthur held up a hand to silence him. He was reading the letter over just one more time, and part of him also wanted to irritate Merlin. Finally, after ten seconds, he looked up and nodded. "You can go, but I expect you back at one."

"Is there any particular reason?" Merlin asked.

"In case you have forgotten, Merlin," Arthur replied, "the May Day celebrations are upon us in the next week and all servants are required to help with the preparations. You'll be given a brief of your duties while listening to my father give a speech."

This was the first Merlin had heard about it, "What May Day celebrations would this be?"

"Most of the time it's just a feast and dance about for all the courtiers to celebrate the coming of spring," Arthur told him. He then turned and looked at him, "Didn't your village celebrate May Day?"

"Yes, but we all had to dress up in silly costumes and masks and dance around May poles…" Merlin said, then he realised that Arthur was smirking. "Please don't tell me I have to dress up again."

Arthur turned around again to look at his letter, "It is tradition, Merlin."

"Yes but I'm a servant—"

"All servants dress up too," his master replied. "I don't see why you should be an expectation."

Merlin accidently let out a groan.

Arthur went in for the kill, "Oh, before I forget, my bed needs changing and the dogs need exercising."

-

Merlin made his way back towards home to collect the prescriptions that Gaius had asked him to deliver. It seemed that everyone had something wrong with them in the castle. Everyone had problems, even Arthur took something for hay fever.

As he walked through the south wing the door to Morgana's room opened and Gwen came out. As soon as she saw Merlin she stopped dead. The sight of him sent a rush through her heart and fired up her cheeks. She kept thinking about how cheerful he always seemed as he walked along the corridors of the castle and how clueless he looked when she accidently said something she didn't mean to say…

Of course he wouldn't have guessed that the writer of the letters. He was too sweet!

"Merlin!" she called out once she had recovered herself.

He looked around and smiled when he saw her descending the stairs, "Hi Gwen."

"Fine," Gwen said, smiling shyly. "You look happy."

Merlin sighed, "If I do it's just a front. Between them Arthur and Gaius are playing me like a yoyo."

"They give you a lot of work," Gwen conceded. "N-not that I don't think you could do it well. You always work so hard!"

"Well," Merlin said, nodding his head with a smile, "it's nice to know somebody appreciates what I do."

"I do!" she quickly said. "I think what you do for Arthur is great. He's never had a servant he liked enough to trust with what you do…"

Merlin put on a worried face, "Oh dear, if Arthur likes me I hate to think how he treats the servants he doesn't like."

Gwen pursed her lips, "He's just horrible to them."

"More horrible than he is to me?"

Gwen nodded.

Merlin nodded, "Fair enough, he hasn't thrown knives at me yet."

The pair of the laughed as they remembered that day; it had been the first time that Merlin had met Arthur. It was also the first day Gwen had seen Merlin. Before she had met him she thought most men were like Arthur and his smug friends, a load of bullies.

The only redeeming feature of Arthur was his looks, and Gwen was willing to admit that Arthur was handsome. Annoyingly handsome, she thought, the sort of handsome that knew it was handsome. The sort of handsome that made your teeth hurt…

Sometimes she believed that Morgana's infuriation with Arthur was genuine. He was infuriating! If you compare him to Merlin, well, they're completely different. Arthur was smug while Merlin was grateful. Arthur was sure of himself while Merlin seemed to be searching for his purpose. They were night and day.

Merlin… There was warmth that seemed to surround him, in the way he spoke, the way he smiled and the way he cared about people.

If only we were a little wiser, Gwen thought as she looked at Merlin. Unfortunately her silence and deep-in-thought-staring had started to get awkward and noticeable. Merlin even waved his hand in front of her face. Gwen realised she had been day dreaming, "Sorry?"

"Are you okay?" Merlin asked.

"Fine"

"Was there something you wanted?" he asked.

It was then she remembered. "Oh, sorry, the Lady Morgana has a headache and wonders if you could ask Gaius for something to relieve it."

"Sure," he said with a smile. He was just about to leave when he quickly turned around again, suddenly concerned. "She is alright, isn't she?"

"She's fine," Gwen said, knowing that he was thinking of what had happened with Edwin, and how he had tried to kill Uther as well. "It's just a headache."

"Good," Merlin said, smiling again. "We don't want that happening again, do we? Tell her I'll be back soon with the pain killer."

"I will," she said as he walked off.

Gwen brought her hands to her mouth, kicking herself for spacing out right in front of him. As she walked back towards Morgana's rooms she wondered whether she should hint that it was her when writing her next letter later than night. She wanted to wait, wait until she absolutely had to tell him.

-

To You,

I have been looking at every woman's face once again trying to find some trace of you. I keep hoping that I'll see you and I'll know it is you. It is strange but I keep thinking that.

I have never been so in the dark, never has a woman known more than me and had control over me like you do now. I worry that you do it for fun, and that you enjoy tormenting me… but then I read your past letters as realise that you truly are scared of what I will think. I don't know which worries me more. I know my reputation might worry you as well as my position – I have said so many times – but I am a human.

You have nothing to fear from me. I am of a predilection that you will, within time, feel at peace with my earnestness and reveal to me who you are. I swear on my growing affection for you that it is true. As true as the terrible poetic language I'm using now to write to you with, language I never thought I would use.

The only thing that would make this poetry complete is that I could put your name to it, and to be able to write it whenever I write you a letter.

Until your next letter I will wait anxiously to hear of your thoughts again.

An Admirer

Arthur read the letter over and over before he dared seal it. He always had to check to make sure that the letter contained nothing that would frighten or worry the mysterious girl behind the letters. He really was tempted to wait and see who the girl or at least make Merlin spy on their secret alcove and find out.

He didn't know what was stopping him.

At first he thought it was fear of the letter writer and what she'd look like. Now it was because Arthur wanted to know her name. He wanted to know because he wanted to see a face in his head when he thought about her. All he could ever picture was a letter, and the girl's face kept changing to every face of every courtier and servant in the castle.

He wanted to know so that he could kiss her, the only way he felt, that the girl would realise that he really didn't care who she was. He wasn't lying when he said he didn't care. Arthur was really beginning not to care; all he wanted to do was know who she was.

Leaving the note tucked away safely behind some papers, Arthur got up to go and see his father; he wanted to talk to him before the meeting. He wondered if he should tell his father about it all. He would be furious and demand the writer come forward.

Arthur had felt, for a long time, that his father had hoped that one day Morgana would become the queen. It seemed so simple. Still, that didn't mean that Arthur couldn't be in love with someone else. Plenty of marriages had been loveless especially between kings and queens. At least their marriage wouldn't be completely loveless as, despite everything, they were friends. Uther might see some reason in that arrangement.

Then again it wouldn't be the end of the world if the girl were a courtier. But what if she wasn't?

It was too early to be thinking about that.

Arthur decided it was best to stay quiet. He hadn't told any of his friends about it because he knew it would get back to his father if he did. He also felt, deep down, that it was personal to him. Sometimes he felt Merlin really was the only person in the world that he could trust. The only one he knew wouldn't tell…

Arthur had been so deep in thought that he hadn't seen one of the handmaidens walking towards him, arms full of sheets and pillows for her mistress. He collided right into her, sending the objects flying and her tumbling to the ground. Arthur rolled his eyes as she scurried around picking up things and apologising profusely.

"I am so sorry," she kept saying. "Very, very sorry…"

Arthur recognised the voice; he looked down and saw that it was Gwen. She, in turn, seemed to recognise the feet and looked up straight away. She gasped, "Prince Arthur!" and quickly looked down again, "Excuse me, your highness."

He sighed, "It's alright."

Quickly standing, Gwen gave a little bow and walked off in the direction she was going. Arthur watched her go before carrying on his way. The irony of the situation escaping both of them, as neither had any idea of the significance of that short meeting.

-

Merlin was running late with his errands, which was making him later for the meeting that Arthur told him about. Not that he was looking forward to it; he just didn't want Gaius to get angry at him, again.

He had managed to get Lady Percival the ointment for an allergic reaction to a new in-fashion dress she had recently bought; Sir Kay the pain killer for an injury he sustained in battle with a group of bandits just outside of Camelot, and he also gave to Sir Agravain and Lady Percival's sons, Percival and Lamorak. Finally he had dropped off some ear drops for Lady Anna. The only thing left was Morgana's headache remedy.

Merlin pelted down the corridor towards her rooms, hoping to drop them off without being too noticeably late for the meeting and too late to catch up without asking someone. He thought this would be easy as Morgana should be going to the meeting Uther planned for all the nobility.

He got to her room and just opened the door, in too much of a hurry to think of knocking, and ran straight into Morgana. He managed to stop himself before he knocked her over or himself over. The two of them just stood there for a while as Merlin caught his breath.

Morgana looked at him, "Are you alright, Merlin?"

He nodded and breathlessly handed her the remedy, "Here."

Morgana took the medicine, which was basically tea made of willow, and nodded. Without dismissing him she went over to the table and poured out some to drink. It wasn't the nicest taste in the world but it normally did the trick. She had a terrible thumping in her temples after the dream she had had. She even considered asking Gaius about it. Maybe he could up her dosage a little bit to cure her nightmares or at least give her something a bit stronger.

"Merlin," she said turning to the young servant. He stood to attention and smiled, finally having caught his breath. "Could you tell Gaius that I wish to see him when you go home tonight?"

Merlin nodded, "Yes, I'll tell him. Are you alright, only Gaius worries about your health, after what happened…"

Morgana smiled, "I'm fine, Merlin. You can tell Gaius to stop worrying."

The young servant nodded, "Well, it's not just Gaius who worries…"

She nodded. It was certainly a frightening experience after what had happened to her, being a pawn in an embittered wizard's revenge, and not just for her. It turns out everyone had been duped.

"You can tell everyone to stop worrying," Morgana said, taking more of her medicine. "Aren't you going to this meeting, then?"

Merlin nodded, "Y-yeah, I should be there right now. I didn't think you'd be here. I know the king is holding a meeting as well."

"Oh, it's nothing really," Morgana sighed, rubbing the sides of her head, "It's just a bit of pompous circumstance, like people in Albion do best; especially us in Camelot."

"Yeah, I noticed," Merlin said under his breath but Morgana obviously heard. He quickly said something, "Sorry, I've never been to one of these big meetings. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

Morgana smiled, "Don't worry about it. If I were a servant I wouldn't bother but since your Arthur's servant…"

"I'll end up with fruit and vegetables thrown at me," Merlin finished. Then in chorus both of them said, "Again."

Looking at each other they laughed. Merlin pointed to the door, "Well, I better get off before I end up in trouble again."

"It wasn't your fault last time," Morgana quickly said.

Merlin turned and smiled again before leaving.

Outside he took a deep breath and leant against the door with his eyes closed.

Morgana was still having dreams?

So like Gaius said that business with Arthur and Sophia was not the only time. She was seeing things all the time, she as good as said it. And she always had been seeing these things, ever since she was a little girl. She was born that way, just like he was.

Gaius told him several times that no one was like him but that didn't matter to Merlin. She was at least like him in the sense that she had to hide what she saw in her dreams from people lest they accuse her of witchcraft. Everything they both did was for the good of people and yet they would both be burnt if anyone knew. Someone else lived in that fear just like him.

She was like him, and that meant everything to Merlin.

All he wanted was someone to talk to about it, someone the same age as him. Gaius helped him but he didn't understand how isolated he felt. Maybe is Gaius told her or he told her that he knew about her seeing power. He only wished, wished, wished that Morgana could see him for what he was…

Morgana opened the door to her room, and Merlin fell backward before he knew what was happening. He fell with a large and painful thud at Morgana's feet. She let out a small scream, surprised to see him still there, before getting down on her knees to check there was no damage.

"Merlin," she said holding his head; "are you alright?"

"Ow," was all the young servant could groan, lying in pain with his eyes shut tight with both pain and embarrassment.

-

"What happened to him?" Gaius said checking Merlin's head for any damage.

"He was leaning against the door," Morgana explained. "I opened it and he fell backwards through it. It was an accident."

"Ow" Merlin whimpered as Gaius touched where the bump was. Gaius noticed that Merlin's arm was also bruised. "How did he do this then?"

Morgana then explained, (much to Merlin's embarrassment), that once she had managed to get him to his feet he had told her that he was fine but then tripped going down the stairs and, thankfully, only hurt his arm and leg. Morgana felt compelled then to walk him back to Gaius despite the fact Merlin kept telling her he was fine.

Once she had finished Gaius chuckled and looked down at Merlin, "Is there no end to your clumsiness and stupidity?"

"Probably not," Merlin said before letting out another 'ow.'

Morgana smiled at him before looking at Gaius, "Anyway, I thought I'd better make sure he got back alright without…"

"Falling over again?" Merlin finished.

She nodded and turned to leave. Then she remembered, since she was there, "Oh Gaius. I've been having more troubled nights…"

Before she finished he handed her the sleeping draft, "I made it a little bit stronger this time. It should do the trick. If it doesn't then come back and tell me."

"If you don't mind," she said quietly, weary of Merlin. "I want to talk to you about… you know."

Gaius nodded, "I'll be here later."

She nodded again, glanced at Merlin before leaving. Once she had Merlin spoke up: "Why couldn't she tell you now?"

"She's always been worried about her dreams," Gaius explained. "And for good reason; she's probably worried that Uther might find out if anyone else finds out."

"Does 'anyone else' mean me?" Merlin asked. "But I know about her dreams, she even told me about one – not that it was very believable – but I'd never tell anyone…"

"But she doesn't know what," Gaius reminded him.

"Maybe if I told her—" he began.

"No," Gaius said bluntly.

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"You were going to say 'Maybe if she knew about my, she's trust me' weren't you?"

Merlin nodded.

Gaius shook his head, "No, Merlin, no one can find out about you just as surely they can't find out about Morgana." Merlin sighed. Gaius put a hand on his shoulder, "I am sorry Merlin but I can't risk anyone finding out about you, either of you. If Uther found out—"

"I know," Merlin said, "he'd burn us as witches. He'd probably make it a double execution to save on wood."

"It's not funny, Merlin."

"I know it isn't but it's the reality I face every day."

Rubbing his head and stretching Merlin pulled himself to his feet.

"Going back to work?" Gaius asked.

"Yep," the young warlock replied. "I have to walk Arthur's dogs, change his bed and probably drop off a love letter to his girlfriend…"

"Girlfriend…" Gaius asked.

"Long story," Merlin said.

-

Gwen sat looking out the window of Morgana's room. From there you could see the courtyard. Her heart made a leap as she saw Merlin rush across towards Arthur's chambers. She wondered what she would write in her letter that night. Recently she always seemed to say the same thing. She wanted to say something personal.

Maybe I should talk about this moment, looking out the window and seeing him down there…

The door opened. Gwen stood and greeted Morgana with a smile. "Is everything alright, milady?"

"Fine," she said. She looked at Gwen, concerned, "Are you alright?"

Gwen nodded, "Yes, I'm fine."

-

The May Day celebrations were one of the most eagerly awaited celebrations on the calendar for the court as it allowed them to let their hair down, have a drink and, in the true sense of spring, indulge in the wondrous sport of courtly love. What made it all the more wonderful was that everyone dressed up and wore masks, enabling people to romance people they would not usually find the courage to do.

Even the servants, (without whom it would not be possible), enjoyed the celebrations because as well as serving they were able to gossip about which lady was being accosted by which sir. Moreover they were able to eat and drink as much wine as they wanted, provided they got up on time the day after.

The meetings, however, were always boring and yet Uther always had one held so that courtiers and servants knew what was happening, or rather, what the servants knew what they were doing.

Once the meeting was over Arthur went over to his father, his face unimpressed that in the sea of servants Merlin's was not to be sited.

"Where is Morgana?" Arthur asked.

Uther looked at him, "I was going to ask if you knew." He turned and saw Gwen just about to leave, "Girl!" he called, "Where is the Lady Morgana."

"She was suffering from a headache earlier, your highness" she said. "I suppose she decided not to come because of that."

Uther waved her off. Gwen made a small bow and glanced at Arthur before leaving. Arthur watched her go before turning to his father. Uther sat down on his thrown, thinking, "I hope she's alright. After what happened to her last time…"

"She'll be fine, father" Arthur said. "The only reason it happened last time was because of magic."

"Nonetheless I think I will visit her later, make sure she is well," Uther said. He then changed the subject, "How did this year's meeting go, do you think?"

"These speeches become less and less popular every year; several people haven't bothered to turn up, including Merlin."

"Your servant is one of the most incompetent boys I have ever had the misfortune to meet," the king stated. "It's a wonder he managed to save you from that witch."

"He has his uses" Arthur said, defending the very servant he often yelled at and made fun of. "He is a good companion and a good servant, even if he is a bit of an idiot. He probably got held up running errands for Gaius.

Uther rolled his eyes, "He probably fell over, hit his head and forgot all about it."