Nightcloud slunk through the tall grass. She sniffed the air then turned her gaze upwards as she saw birds above her head. Swirling around each other in a strange dance. They dove and skimmed the grass with their wings. When they got close enough, she launched herself forward with tremendous speed. The birds let out startled squawks and began accending into the air. Nightcloud growled and bunched up her muscles. With a powerful leap, she soared into the air and hooked her class into one of the birds. It flapped its wings frantically as it was dragged back to down to the ground. Before it knew it, Nightcloud had sunk her teeth into its neck. It spasmed once, before going still.

Nightcloud stared down at the dead bird between her paws. Her gaze traveled back upwards to the remaining bird in the sky. A current of wind blew against her back and it took the bird upward. The bird chirped once before turning and flying away. Nightcloud watched it fly away. Wishing she too, could fly away from her troubles.

She looked back down at the bird and felt a tremendous amount of guilt swallow her heart. This bird was just like her. It tried to fly away. To escape the clutches of darkness. It wasn't fast enough though, and was dragged back down. Never to fly again.

She shook her head to draw herself out of her pitying. She wasn't a bird. She was a cat. She hunted birds. She didn't feel sorry for them. She didn't feel sorry for anything. She didn't care. She didn't care. She didn't care.

Repeating this in her head, Nightcloud stood to her paws and picked up the bird in her jaws. Turning away and walking slowly back to camp. She examined the terrain around her. Funny how in the widest, and most open place she could be. She's never felt more trapped. She wanted to run. Run across the moor and never stop.

She couldn't though. She had a duty to her clan. She had to take this prey back to camp.

While she walked. She stopped by a gorse bush, where she hid a previously hunted rabbit. She grabbed it and dragged it alongside her on her trek back to camp. She shivered a bit as the wind picked up. Though Leaf-bare had ended moons ago, the wind still made her shiver. The clouds were always out, blocking the sun. There was a constant chill everywhere, even in the warmest corners of camp. Everything seemed dull. The grass seemed to have lost its color. Her clanmates had lost their spirits. Greencough had hit them before they could even fully recover from the battle with the dark forest.

Nightcloud was lucky to have escaped the sickness. Breezepelt had been affected though, and Nightcloud nearly tore her fur out in worry.

Crowfeather of course, wasn't around when that happened.

Not that she cared. No, she didn't care. She wanted him to stay away from her and her son. He didn't deserve to come near them.

Her thoughts cut off when she reached the camp entrance. Ducking low, she charged through. She came out on the other side and examined the camp. Only a few cats littered the camp. Strewn out in pairs, curled up. Trying to find warmth from the lurking cold. Nightcloud walked over to the fresh-kill pile. Only one other rabbit lay there. She had returned before the patrol. She set down her prey and turned to walk away when Harespring walked up to her. She hadn't noticed the brown and white deputy off to the side by the Tallrock. She stood up a bit straighter when he spoke.

"Nightcloud, where is the rest of the hunting patrol I sent you out with?" he asked.

Nightcloud had been assigned to a hunting patrol along the River clan border, Gorsetail as the leader. However she couldn't focus with the other cats around. They gravitated away from her. Like she was a stranger to them. In a way she was. Her feisty temper and sharp tongue had been extinguished. She was dull. A husk of what she was before. Seeming to sense this, Gorsetail had agreed when she asked if she could go hunt on her own. Breezepelt, who had alsp been there, tried to follow, but she told him to stay. She didn't want her son to see her in such a weal and broken state. She didn't see the harm in it. Apparently Harespring did.

"You can't keep leaving the patrol to go off on your own," he said. Not really scolding, more like a desperation for her to understand. Which Nightcloud didn't.

"I don't see the problem," she murmured. Looking to the side "I brought back prey, that's what matter right?" she asked.

Harespring sighed quietly, ears flattening slightly "Look," he said quietly "I know things aren't going well after what happened with Crowfeather-"

Of course, the mention of the dark grey warrior never failed to bring back that old spark inside of her. She growled angrily. Cutting him off.

"It has nothing to do with it," she growled, the growl sizzled out after a moment "I'm just tired," she said more quietly.

Harespring just kept staring at her. He sighed and nudged her shoulder more gently "Go get some rest," he ordered. Then turned and padded away. Nightcloud watched him leave. Left in a trance like state. She jumped slightly when a drop of water landed on her nose. She looked up and flinched as more drops began falling. She looked around as saw her clanmates rising to their paws.

She watched as everyone broke apart, heading to the small dens nearby, made by foxes in badgers long ago, and reserved only for moments like this. Nightcloud felt the urge to follow her clanmates into those smaller dens, but resisted. They were small and could only fit three or four cats. She didn't wish to crowded in. Not with the way her clanmates had been avoiding her. So she instead set her sights on the nursery. Sedgewhisker was in there all alone. She never minded Nightcloud and Nightcloud never minded her. So maybe, it would be alright to stay in there.

Hesitantly, she padded over to the nursery. She peaked her head in and could make out the curled up figure of Sedgewhisker. Nightcloud snuck in quietly and shook out her soaked pelt. Being careful to not spray Sedgewhisker. She didn't notice Sedgewhisker open her eyes. Only when she heard a yawn did she turn around.

"Nightcloud..." she yawned quietly "what are you doing here?"

Nightcloud's tail drooped slightly "Raining," she answered simply "I won't trouble you," she said again and walking to the corner of the nursery. She began scraping together pieces of moss to make a makeshift nest.

"Do you want to share my nest?" Sedgewhisker asked. Nightcloud blinked in surprised and turned to face the queen.

"Its cold. I wouldn't mind it," Sedgewhisker explained, her tail swishing softly in the dark. Nightcloud stared at her. Staying still and contemplating the offer. Since the end of her and Crowfeather's relationship moons ago, Nightcloud had taken to sleeping on the outer edges of sleeping area outside. It was incredibly lonely and Nightcloud found herself having frequent nightmares of her less than happy childhood. She refused to sleep close to anyone though.

Now though, it was being offered. Nightcloud found she didn't have the will power to refuse the offer, so she nodded curtly and padded over. Sedgewhisker adjusted herself, making room for Nightcloud. Nightcloud lay down, making sure to leave plenty of space between herself and Sedgewhisker. She curled up in a tight ball. Place her tail over her nose and closing her eyes. She felt Sedgewhisker scoot closer and tensed up slightly. Until she heard Sedgewhisker whisper quietly.

"I know you've always been bitter," she murmured "and that you've been through a lot. So please know if you need a friend. You can come to me," Nightcloud felt a tongue groom her head gently. Then heard the gentle snoring of Sedgewhisker falling asleep.

Nightcloud just stared straight ahead. Not really comprehending what she had just heard. She didn't smile, didn't react, didn't move. But as she fell asleep, she purred. Just slightly.

XXX

Nightcloud was violently awoken by the sound of yowling outside. While she scrambled to her paws, Sedgewhisker stirred a lot slower and blinked groggily by the time Nightcloud was already heading outside.

Nightcloud looked out and saw Hootpaw, her apprentice, sitting in the middle of a broken circle of cats. When she got closer, she could make out the bite makes on her haunches and the matted blood in his fur. She gasped and felt panic grip her heart. She launched forward to her apprentice. Sedgewhisker followed behind.

Kestrelflight was currently fussing over Hootpaws wounds. Hootpaw himself was soaked from the rain, which had stopped her the time being. One of his eyes was swollen and he was breathing heavily. He had been in the patrol with Nightcloud. Looking around, she realized the only other cats missing were the ones from that patrol. Gorsetail, Weaselfur, and worse, Breezepelt. She pushed through the circle of cats and over to Hootpaw.

Onestar was currently beside him, trying to coax the young apprentice into explaining what happened. Hootpaw was shaking violently. Only mumbling words as his eyes darted around nervously.

"Patrol... Rain... Shelter... Dogs..." he spluttered out. Nightcloud's blood went cold as she realized what happened. Before his eyes rolled back and he slumped to the ground. Kestrelflight acted quickly, pushing away everyone.

"I need space, everyone needs to back up," he ordered. With the help of Harespring, they both lifted the bloodied apprentice and carried him to the Medicine cat den.

Nightcloud stared as they went. That patrol she was with, were attacked by dogs. In the middle od a storm. The wind was whipping up violently by now, and it wouldn't be long before the rain started up again.

Breezepelt

She gasped as she realized her son could very well be out there. Bloodied and bruised and on the verge of death. She should have stayed with the patrol. Why?! Why did she leave?! How could she be so selfish?!

"And you wonder why you've never been loved!"

Crowfeather's harsh final words echoed in the back of her mind once again. She constantly repeated this sentence over and over again for the past few moons. Each day and everyday it's been clawing away at her. Slowly chipping away any remnant of who she was. Then again, she never really knew who she was. If her heart had never been consumed by bitterness, what would her life be like now.

She shook her head and scolded herself. She didn't matter. Not right now. Not ever. Her duty was to her clan. She had to save her son. To fix her selfish mistake of leaving the patrol.

She stepped forward as Onestar began rounding up cats. Pushing through all the other warriors, eager to go rescue the patrol.

"Emberfoot, Leaftail, Crowfeather," he listed off "you'll come with me to find the cats," he said. Said cats stepped forward. Nightcloud felt a small flicker of anger at the fact Onestar chose Crowfeather to go help her son and not her. Then she had to remind herself Breezepelt wasnt the only on in danger out there. Nightcloud turned her head and saw Emberfoot lovingly nuzzle Sedgewhisker, reassuring her he would return.

Nightcloud was reminded of the time Crowfeather had left to the mountains. She had been worried for him. She had Nuzzled him the same way yet he responded with no more than a lick to her head. Even that tiny gesture felt forced.

'Did he ever care. Even a little?" she thought quietly to herself. She once again reprimanded herself for being selfish. Breezepelt, she had to save Breezepelt. Nightcloud stepped forward and up to Onestar.

"Onestar!" she called as he began turning to head out with the patrol.

"Nightcloud?" he turned his steady gaze to her "What is it?" he asked, slightly impatient. She tried to ignore the feeling of Crowfeather's eyes on her as she spoke.

"Let me come to," she said "please," she added for good measure.

Onestar stared at her "Nightcloud perhaps its best you sta-" Nightcloud cut him off. Not willing to hear that sentence finished.

"No!" she said a bit to loudly. Realizing her mistake as the other cats stared at her in shock, she bowed her head in submission and respect.

"Please..." she asked quietly "I was supposed to be with the patrol, but I left to hunt on my own. I should have been there to help them fight. Please Onestar, I won't forgive myself if..." she felt her emotions get to her "if..."

Onestar stared at her. Before finally relenting and nodding his head "Alright, let's go," before turning away and leaving the camp. The patrol followed. Nightcloud moved to follow but we stopped by a soft voice.

"Nightcloud...?"

She stopped and saw Heathertail behind her, she waited while Heathertail spoke.

"Bring him back safely...please..." she said. Her eyes were wide with fear, and begging Nightcloud to make sure her mate was safe.

Nightcloud nodded her head "I will," she swore. Before launching after the patrol.

It took a few seconds but she caught up. No one on the patrol glanced her way when she ran alongside them. Though Nightcloud could still feel Crowfeather's gaze the back of her head, she ignored it.

The patrol was silent except for the occasional orders from Onestar. They had planned to head to the spot where the patrol was going and figure out patrol was from there. The wind was blowing by violently and was stinging Nightcloud's eyes. She had to squint to lessen the pain. Though luck was unfortunately not on their side. Once they neared the place the patrol was hunting, the rain began to fall. Nightcloud had to hold back every instinct and impulse she knew to keep from running away and finding shelter from the rain.

"This is pointless!" Leaftail hissed as they all slowed to a stop, the ran began pounding harder and the wind was howling in their ears.

"We can't find them in this weather!" he insisted "we should just head back to camp till this is over and search then!"

Emberfoot was the first to object "We can't. They could be hurt and that dog might still be on the loose."

Leaftail scowled at Emberfoot "Do you really think that the dog will still be out here," he asked "Dogs may have fur for brains but even they know when to get out of the rain."

Nightcloud protested "When will the storm let up though? They could die by the time this storm passes!" by now they had to yell in order to hear each other over the wind.

Leaftail growled at Nightcloud "Oh don't act like you're hear for the patrol, you only want to save your son!"

Nightcloud growled and unsheathed her claws, Leaftail did the same buy Onestar leapt in between them.

"That's enough you two!" he shouted. He looked ahead of sadly and looked at Nightcloud and Emberfoot "I'm afraid he is right though, we won't find them in this storm."

Nightcloud felt her heart drop. She was about to protest when a yowl in the distance, followed by a series of barks followed cut her off. All four snapped their gazes over to the direction of the lake. More yowls followed. Those of cats.

Nightcloud was the first to react. She shot off at a run to the lake.

"Nightcloud!" she heard a voice call out. She ignored it though. Her only concern was to save her son. No, to save the whole patrol.

As she pumped her muscles and picked up speed. She could make out figures in the distance. She gasped as she saw the three cats. Breezepelt, Gorsetail, and Weaselfur being cornered by two large dogs. She watched in horror as they were being pushed closer to the edge of the stone they were on. Mere tail lengths from being pushed into the churning and dark waters of the lake.

Acting on only the will to protect her clanmates. She yowled and took a flying leap. Landing square on the dogs back. It barked in surprise and she sunk her class into its ears. It began jumping about and trying to buck her off. The other dog yelped in surprise as the Breezepelt attacked it while it was distracted.

Finally, Onestar and his patrol appeared and split up. Onestar and Crowfeather went to assist against the other dog while Leaftail and Emberfoot tackled the dog an began slashing its legs. Because of the pounding rain, the stone below their feet was slick and slippery. The dog whimpered as its feet slid out from beneath it. Nightcloud leapt off as the dog slipped over the edge. She saw it clinging to the stones below, the water crashing against it. Her attention was drawn away from the dog by another yowl. Nightcloud watched in abject terror as the dog kicked out its hind legs. It kicked Crowfeather, who clung to the stone with his claws to stop from sliding off. Breezepelt however, was not as fortunate. He was kicked hard and flew a couple tail lengths before sliding along the stone and falling over the edge.

Nightcloud called out and ran over, Leaftail and Emberfoot at her heals. Onestar and her other clanmates kept their attention focused on the dog and driving it away.

Nightcloud peeked her head over the edge and sighed in relief as she saw Breezepelt clinging to a old log that got caught on the stones. It was unstable though, and she could see its wobbling grow more violent as it was slowly being dislodged by Breezepelt's weight and constant moving.

"Hang on Breezepelt," she called to her son as she looked around for a way to get him up. She couldn't see anything but stones. She felt herself get slightly frantic with each second.

"We need to stabilize that log," Emberfoot said.

Crowfeather, who had been silent for the most part, glanced up, looking annoyed and frustrated "With what exactly?!"

Nightcloud had an idea, a mouse brained one, but an idea nonetheless. Taking in a shaky breath, she jumped.

"Nightcloud!" they called out to her as she landed on the stones below. She scrabbled at the stones with her claws to keep from sliding, and stopped just above the violently crashing water below. She looked over at where the log was being held by the stones. The stones were being weakened and beaten away by the waves below, which had a ripple like affect to the stones holding the log. Slowly, Nightcloud crawled her way forward to the log.

"Nightcloud! What are you doing?! Get out of here!" she could her Breezepelt hissing, along with the sounds of his claws scratching against the log. She looked over and saw he was completely soaked and shivering violently. She had to get her kit out of there.

When she reached the end of the log. She began gathering the stones that were laying askew and piling them on the log. The more she piled, the less the log wobbled. Finally, as and added measure, Nightcloud sat onto the stones. By now the spray of the waves had soaked her and she too was shivering.

"Climb over now!" she called out "it should be stable enough now!"

Breezepelt looked forward hesitantly, scared even. But Nightcloud knew he was never one to admit any kind of fear, so slowly, he began pulling himself forward. The log would wobble occasionally, but mostly stayed secure. However with one problem solved, another one arose.

The water level was beginning to rise at a rapid pace. Before, the stones were a good few tail lengths above the water. Now, it was swirling around Nightcloud's and swallowed Breezepelt's bottom half. Beating violently against him. Almost sweeping him away a few times. Finally, when he reached the end, the water was up to their bellies. Nightcloud rose and immediately the stones were washed away by the water, loosening the log. The two cats turned and began slowly climbing the stones. Onestar and the rest of the patrol had chased away the final dog and were all clambering at the edge of the stones. Waiting to help them up. Nightcloud was below Breesepelt to make sure he didn't slip.

However, right as they reached the top, Breezepelt's hind leg slipped on some loose rock. Time seemed to freeze. Only a small piece of stone below wasn't completely enveloped by water. The waves were incredibly violent, sweeping away everything in their path. If she didn't do something, Breezepelt would be swept away. So she sunk her claws into the stone below and threw herself up. Headbutting Breezepelt and launching him up the rest of the way. That action though, loosened the stone beneath her paws as she climbed up the rest of the way.

The stone beneath them began collapsing.

"Run everyone!" Onestar ordered. They didn't have to be told twice. The patrol ran, trying to stay ahead of the collapsing stone.

As they ran, Crowfeather slipled on a crack in the stone. He yowled as he collapsed.

Nightcloud was behind him.

She could run past him.

She could escape.

She didn't have to save him.

She couldn't save him.

"And you wonder why you've never been loved!"

She growled and ran forward. His words echoed loudly in her ears. Even louder than the crashing of the waves. Yelling loudly. She bowed her head.

And rammed into Crowfeather, knocking him the rest of the way off the stone.

That saved him, but not her. Crowfeather, Breezepelt, and the rest of the patrol turned around in time to see the stone below Nightcloud collapse, and Nightcloud fall with it.

She yowled as she fell. Growling an screeching as she landed flat on her back onto a flat piece of stone. Her head slammed into it. She groaned as she opened her eyes. She looked to her side and saw a giant wave come crashing toward her. Then she groggily looked up and saw her clanmates peering over the edge. Crying out her name. Her gaze settle on the face of Breezepelt and Crowfeather. Breezepelt looked horrified. His eyes were wide in fear. Crowfeather's face was stoic. Though she could see disbelief in his gaze. Those were the last faces she saw before she felt the wave slam into her side.

As it swept her away.

XXX

You know the key to writing something depressing. Listen to nothing but depressing music. The Yawning Grave works really well.

There is a good reason why Nightcloud saved Crowfeather... I think so anyway. itll be expanded on more later on in the story.

I also feel like the younger cats would be more sympathetic of Nightcloud. The ones who mostly only seen her bitterness as a result of Crowfeather. Plus her break up with him was public. So her clanmates are more sympathetic of her because they're seeing the result of it. Her becoming much more distant and emotionless. Sedgewhisker seemed like the right cat to offer comfort because she's young and expecting kits. I feel like her motherly instincts would start kicking in, allowing her to feel sympathetic and comfort Nightcloud.

I also feel without Crowfeather, who served as a kind of structure. She would fall apart. In this story, she's spent her whole life seeking love. Being deceived into thinking Crowfeather loved her, she became kind of reliant on him. Which kind of made her fall apart. If that makes any sense. Its kinda hard to put what I mean into words.

ANYWAY! thank you all so much for reading and thank you for the wonderful feedback. I got 5. Yes 5! Reviews and I am so so happy.

So thanks again everyone. And you know I don't mind more reviews ;).

HERES SOME VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR YOU ALL (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)

Bai Bai :3