Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon!

Also, the Pokemon in this story will be from Generation 1 since this is in the late '90s, go, Generation 1 forever! (: But I may change that if the reviewers think different generations should be in story.

Notice: This chapter will have brief unpleasant images as well as some profanity. You've been informed. It is part of the reason why Ash is who he is in the story, but I promise things will get better in the future. This will probably be the...least pleasant (for lack of better word) chapter, although I don't think it's that extreme.

Italicized=speech from past.

Ash's demeanor had mellowed down to slightly elated, a great contrast to last night. He had set his mind to return home and resume studying at school, but he did not yet establish a goal as to why he wanted to go back. As he walked down the crowded streets, he saw Misty and Brock's faces in the shadows of the people who tried to hide their faces in the darkness that still engulfed the majority of the sky.

He felt that a burden had been lifted off his shoulder. Literally, a 13-pound Pikachu that rested on top of his shoulders no longer tickling his ears. "Buddy...I pray that you are safe..." whispered Ash as he walked with his head down. He sniffled and did his best not to let the tears fall but it ended in failure. "I've known you all for only...four months? Well, except Primeape. I got you yesterday. Still...I thought I was doing my best, but I guess not even that was enough."

Erika was still on the trail of Machop who happened to be on the trail of Machop. The girl was probably about 30 feet behind the fighting type to avoid being detected and he was probably a dozen meters or so ahead of Machop, so it was still quite difficult for Erika to see Ash.

Ash's mind was in a blur. The memories of all his Pokemon and the history with not just his formal team, but the individual Pokemon in general, kept replaying in his mind. As it was the end to him, he visualized the beginning of why he was doomed to not become a Pokemon trainer, or at least not follow the desire that every 10-year-old had since it was the norm, but Ash was different and a completely different view on Pokemon, leading to his delay in becoming a trainer.

He thought back in the summer of 1990 when he was 7 years old that a stray Rattata had stolen his food when he was at a picnic with his mom and dad. He thought that the Pokemon was hungry, but he was still pretty upset. That same day, he had wandered off a bit farther than he should have and came across an Oddish that was planted in the ground to avoid the sun's harsh rays. Being the curious little boy that he was, he pulled one of the leaves off the grass-type's head and earned a loud screech from the plant. It then popped out of the ground and tackled Ash, scaring him away. He burst into a frenzy of tears, screaming that he hated Pokemon, but his father clearly explained that Ash was just overreacting and not having a good day.

Later in the spring of '92, Delia and Alexander (the name I'm giving his father) noticed that their son was having difficulties with school. His teacher frequently informed the parents that the 3rd-grade boy was having utmost difficulty in paying attention in class and would have streaks of impulsivity, such as blurting out unnecessary comments or rude gestures. He went through a battery of psychological tests and the doctors informed the two parents that he had ADHD. They were surprised that someone his age was not diagnosed beforehand since it usually is most noticeable by the age of six. Delia asked how he got it and why was it appearing at age 9. The doctors said that it was more than likely passed genetically and a test confirmed that Alexander was indeed the carrier of the condition. Ash was prescribed various medicines and it began to help noticeably, but the doctors said that he still had attention problems that were above average, although they had been greatly lowered since before getting treatment.

When Ash's 10th birthday came around the next year, he begged to go on a Pokemon journey. His parents immediately said no, claiming that he was still not even responsible enough to keep up with his homework or tidy his room. Straying away from the time-consuming video games, Ash began to focus more on improving himself. He frequently had visits to the school counselor and even a psychiatrist to help him get through some of his issues that he still faced in school and with behavior, granted that they weren't as severe as before he was diagnosed. Originally making all C's in school, Ash gave his dad a huge surprise on his 34th birthday and showed his report card.

"Look, daddy! I got better grades this time!" he said in his flashback. His father opened the envelope and saw his son's grades; originally from six C's or 5 C's and a D, he was shocked to see 3 B's and 3 A's!

"Oh, son! I'm so proud of you!" said Alexander as he looked again at his 4th-grade son's report card. "You're doing so much better. I love you."

"I love you, too, daddy!" The two males exchanged a warm hugged and Delia took a photo of the moment with the timed camera...What they didn't know was that this would be the last moment that Ash, Alexander, and Delia would be captured on photo in a very long time.

The next morning, Ash went to school via the bus and Delia had already gotten dressed and was about to leave. She was about to leave and Alexander was following behind. Delia got in the car and her husband locked the front door and as he was heading towards the vehicle, he saw a stray Rattata walking around in pain.

"Honey, wait," said the man. "This rodent Pokemon appears sick. We should take him to the nearest Pokemon Center asap." Alexander took out a ball and was intending on capturing said mouse Pokemon. He threw it, but the rodent lunged at his chest and began to bite him with great force!

"Oh, shit!" shouted Alexander. "Get this bastard off of me!"

Delia got out of the car and with her big hand bag whacked the Rattata off her husband. The mouse Pokemon must have been morbidly sick because the blow killed him and it wasn't even that strong of a blow.

"Oh, my Arceus!" said Delia as she started crying and helped Alexander into the car. "I'm taking you to the hospital right now!" She stepped on the accelerator as fast as she could and went to the nearby hospital. "PLEASE HELP MY HUSBAND!" she shouted to the staff as she pointed to her car in front of the doors. They got a gurney and placed the man on the device. What shocked her even more was that he began having seizures and started foaming at the mouth!

"Ma'am, I'll have to ask you to stay in the waiting room," said a receptionist. "I need a hazmat unit asap! This man has been infected with acute rabies!"

"Oh, my Arceus," said Delia as she sat in a chair as a group of men with white suits took Alexander away. "I love you! Please be strong!" The 33-year-old woman started crying and decided that she should not let Ash be in the dark in this situation. She drove to school and asked the principle to take her son out, which he allowed, and she took Ash to the hospital. In all, since she had left and come back, it had been about 30 minutes. Throughout the whole trip, Ash and Delia were both crying hysterically at what was going on. When they arrived there, Delia asked for an update.

"I'm very sorry ma'am, but...he's losing his battle for survival," said the nurse. Upon hearing this, Ash started crying even more.

"What the hell do you mean?! Try harder, dammit!" shouted a furious Delia. "I'm so sorry, Ash, miss, I'm just so..." She lost her grip and started crying even more.

"It's understandable, Mrs..." started the Nurse.

"Ketchum...Delia Ketchum, and this is my son, Ash. Please help my husband...please?"

"I can't guarantee his survival, but we are doing the best we can with the available staff," said the nurse.

Ash and Delia both stayed at the hospital. The doctors later told them that he was now comatose and that his condition was stable. They were granted permission to visit him and a biohazard team investigated the dead Rattata and sealed off their house while they fumigated it to prevent any possible spread. They were allowed to go back two weeks after the incident, but Alexander was still unresponsive. Ash's performance at school was taking a turn for the worse, and 4 months later, doctors told the two some terrible news.

"Mrs. Ketchum...this is a decision that you have to make," said a doctor. "Your husband...is brain-dead; he is kept alive artificially. That virus obtained from the Rattata was a mutant strand of rabies. If someone had taken it to the Pokemon center days before the accident, both your husband and the Rattata would be alive."

"No, he isn't dead yet," said Delia. "I'm not losing hope. Ash needs a father and Alexander is the best figure he has! He loves me and the boy unconditionally and I'm not losing hope until his heart stops beating!"

"Very well. We respect your wishes, but you can speak to us anytime if you change your mind."

Weeks turned into months, which then turned into two years. Ash let himself go and virtually stopped caring for school. He virtually lived in fear that a Pokemon would attack his mother or even himself and would end up like like his father. When Ash turned 12, he got a rude "present" from his rival, or, more accurately, former rival, Gary Oak. The brunette-haired boy gloated that he got all 8 gym badges and even participated in the Kanto League despite loosing. He basically made Ash feel like shit and Ash fell into a state of major depression and became restless.

His doctor prescribed him antidepressants and the boy began to recover and kept convincing him that Pokemon were not evil and gradually began less scared. Many children at school kept accusing him of hating Pokemon and some even exaggerated that he had kicked and hurt Rattatas to get revenge on his father, but there was no proof of such thing. The truth was, Ash completely isolated himself from Pokemon and ran away in fear whenever he saw one, which resulted in his being teased by other classmates for being a coward. It made Ash isolate himself from even humans and was constantly taken to the doctor for normal checkups.

27 months after the incident, doctors were dumbfounded and called Delia at home. She rushed to the hospital and took her 12-and-a-half-year-old son to the hospital.

"Mrs. Ketchum, I have news that you should hear."

"What is it?"

"Your husband...has virtually beat the impossible. We do not know how, but...we are seeing activity in his brain! This is an outstanding discovery!"

"So you mean..." said Delia.

"Yes. We are in very high hopes that he will recover in the future, although we cannot pinpoint an accurate date."

Upon hearing the news, Ash was elated. He constantly convinced himself that his father was going to get better, and better he got. A month after this discovery, Alexander was able to respond to music, more importantly, it was the song at his and Delia's wedding. 2 months after that, he was able to respond to light and regained movement in his fingertips. After a long wait of 8 more months, Alexander had finally regained his ability to speak. Delia and Ash were both crying, of course, and kissed the man.

"Daddy!" said Ash a year ago. It was September of '96 and despite being 13-and-a-half, Ash still had a soft spot for calling his father "daddy".

The doctors informed the two that Alexander would still need a great amount of time to recover. Unfortunately, some issues arose and he was paralyzed below the waist. Ash was greatly saddened by this, but he was still beyond thrilled that his father was alive. Two months passed before he was released and Ash and Delia informed the man about all the stuff that happened. Alexander was shocked that Ash was still scared of Pokemon and the family reconnected by visiting places such as the local zoo and water shows to reunite the years that were taken from them. Along with his father's advice and more counselling, Ash eventually began to lose his fear and regained confident that Pokemon were not horrible monsters bent on destroying lives. He even began to aspire becoming a trainer one day, but of course he needed his parents' permission.

A few weeks were looming into Ash's birthday. His father had been home for a three months and everything had seemed to be just like before the incident.

"Delia...should we let Ash start a journey on his 14th birthday?" asked Alexander as he was reading the paper in his wheelchair. Ash was at school today and Delia was working at home.

"Yes. Ash has really taken a liking towards Pokemon again," responded his wife as she kissed him. "That is, of course, if he feels that he can live up to the responsibility of traveling on his own. I just hope that he is responsible enough to look after a Pokemon, too. I've told him before to watch some of the educational lectures by Professor Oak, but he seems more interested in watching battles."

"The boy is not dumb, if that is what you are insinuating," remarked Alexander as he set down his paper. "I have heard him talk about all the cool moves and stuff about Pokemon."

"Yes, but battle tournaments are a form of entertainment, not education," pointed out Delia. "I'm not saying he will fail; it's just that sometimes his ADHD gets the better of him and the lack of learning the fundamentals of Pokemon may make becoming a trainer a lot harder. I've seen him improve with his condition, thanks to his medicine. Plus, he is four years older than the legal minimum age of being a trainer!"

"So you fear that he may be the target of bullying?"

"I didn't say that, Alex. You are putting words into my mouth. One would think that if he started at age 14, he would have a lot more exposure to Pokemon, but it isn't the case with him. He lived in fear the past 3 years and isolated himself from the creatures."

The two adults carried on the rest of the day and waited for Ash to get home. The two of them agreed to get the boy's opinion of becoming a trainer.

"Mom, daddy, I'm home!" said Ash as he walked through the door and set his stuff down.

"That's wonderful, dear, and I'm glad," responded Delia as she poured her almost 14-year-old son a glass of lemonade.

"Son, we need to have a family talk," stated his father as Ash sat between his father and mother. "You aren't in trouble, before you ask. This is about your desire to become a Pokemon trainer."

"I see them now so much differently than before," stated Ash. "I would like to show those who doubted me that anyone can achieve what he wants with the proper determination."

Back to the present...(future chapters will pick up on this background and so forth.)

"I don't know what I was saying when I thought I could prove the doubters wrong," said Ash as he kept looking down. Machop, who had been getting too close to Ash, stopped at a corner of an alley and looked around the edge. Ash was standing there completely motionless. Machop tilted his head and frowned; he had just met this boy no more than 20 minutes ago, but he was taking a great interest already.

Erika trailed behind the muscle Pokemon and had her hands on her thighs as she bent over to pant; along the way she had tripped and lost about 10 seconds of pursuit. She reached the corner where the grey bipedal Pokemon was and said, "I saw you outside my gym earlier. You seem to care about him. I saw what happened with my own eyes, so it leaves me even more concerned since he could be destructive to himself."

"Chop?" said the small fighting type.

"It was nice that you gave him blueberries, even though they came off the bushes I planted a while back," said Erika.

Machop looked at his hands and sniffed them. Erika just chuckled. They both looked around the corner and saw that Ash had now just started walking again.

"Let's go follow him," she suggested.

After about five more minutes, the boy finally arrived to the Pokemon center and was greeted by Nurse Joy. Erika and Machop both managed to enter the Pokemon Center without Ash or Nurse Joy seeing them since the desk was turned a bit away from the door and due to the large amount of people walking by.

"Hello, Ash, how's it going?" she asked the teenager.

"Terrible. I lost my two friends and all six of my Pokemon; I have nothing," he said as his mood returned to depression. He provided a brief synopsis of what happened yesterday while avoiding some of the finer details like cross-dressing and Team Rocket. "I may as well just go home and resume studying and see what happens from there."

"So you don't have any other Pokemon, not even in the PC?" asked Nurse Joy as she was a bit stunned.

"Yeah...I have Krabby, but I haven't used him yet," said Ash. "Plus, it's not like it'll do me any good because I have four badges and the gym in this city here uses grass types. I'd definitely be at a disadvantage."

"Well, that is true, but I have something that may make Krabby a lot better in this gym," responded Nurse Joy.

"What is it?" said Ash.

"In the department store here on the roof is a little girl who gives away ice beam if you give her water," said Nurse Joy.

"What an odd trade," said Ash. "I will look into it, but I am still unsure of going home or not."

"Do what your heart thinks is best," said Nurse Joy.

"All right, but I would have to call Professor Oak to get Krabby, right?" he asked. She merely nodded as a response. "I'm still uncertain about this, but I'll give it a try." Ash went to the video phone and dialed Oak's number.

"Hello, Ash," said Professor Oak as he was cooking tofu. "How's it going?"

"I've been better," said Ash as he did his best to cover up how he was truly feeling. "I would like to use Krabby, please."

"Certainly," said the Professor, "but which one are you going to send to me?"

"Uh...I can't send back any," responded Ash with his head down low.

"What do you mean you can't send any back?" responded the man.

"They...betrayed me," responded Ash. "So did my other friends. I'm wondering if it's a sign for me to quit while I'm ahead."

"What exactly happened?" said Professor Samuel Oak as he began eating the tofu and drank coffee.

Ash essentially informed him that he was incompetent at battling and lacked sufficient knowledge to be a trainer as well as other events that happened along the way. He of course kept hidden the part of Team Rocket and the "transformation" they gave him.

"What a terrible thing for them to do to you considering your past," said Professor Oak. Since Pallet Town was such a small area, he knew almost everyone and vice versa was 100% true. He allowed Ash to visit and play with the Pokemon in the ranch outside the rear of the lab where he would spend time. Of course, this was in his earlier years when he was around 6 and 7, but not long before his 14th birthday came around, he started visiting and even helped Professor Oak do a few simple chores around the laboratory.

"May I please see how Krabby is doing?" asked Ash again as he waited for his response.

"Yes, of course. I'll transport his ball to you right now." Professor Oak pressed a sequence of buttons and within 10 seconds, a flash appeared and the ball appeared right before Ash's eyes. The raven-haired teenager was quite surprised since he had never seen this before.

"Thanks, I'll see what I can do with him," said Ash as he looked at Krabby's ball. He turned towards the door and Erika gasped as she noticed she was in his field of vision. She immediately began to head towards the exit but Ash caught her.

"Erika? What are you doing here?" He tilted his head and saw that the very same Machop he had seen earlier was right by her side.

"Oh, I was just going to heal the Pokemon from a gym battle earlier," she fibbed.

"At this early hour?" stated Ash.

Erika merely nodded in response.

Ash tilted his head when he saw that Machop left Erika's side and ran up to Ash and hugged him with a tremendous amount of force while wagging his grey tail.

"Whoa! You sure got a lot of strength for a little guy like you!" chuckled Ash as he patted Machop's head. "I gotta get going now. Nice seeing you again, little buddy and Erika."

The grey Pokemon and Erika both looked out the door and saw Ash leave. "Maybe he's better than I thought," said Erika to Machop who tilted his head with confusion. "I'm still a little uncertain of him, but I really need to head back to the gym. Maybe you should go look after him."

"Chop," nodded the grey humanoid Pokemon. He stay put in his current spot and let Ash get about 30-40 feet ahead of him and then started following him out of the city limits.

Ash headed east to Route 7 and saw the territory that belonged to Primeape. "What the hell am I even doing?" he said. Surprisingly, the location that he was at was no more than a kilometer from the gym. Machop concealed himself behind a boulder and sighed. He secretly wanted a trainer and he already listened to Ash pour his heart out. Maybe...

"Krabby, come on out!" said Ash as he threw the Pokeball to the ground and caught it as it returned to him.

"Cookie, cookie!" said Krabby. The crustacean Pokemon was completely in awe at the vast scenery and made a ^_^ face in content.

"Krabby...Misty said you are a fluke," said Ash. "She thought the Pokemon I had at the time just followed me and I didn't catch them fairly. Not true! I caught Butterfree and Pidgeotto fairly and you as well...although with a different approach."

Enter another flashback...

Ash and company were at Route 25 and approaching Bill's lighthouse.

"Check me out; I got two badges!" boasted Ash.

"Wow, he acts like such a little kid," muttered Misty to Brock. The older male nodded his head.

"Ash, you may have two badges, but you only have six Pokemon!" said Misty. "A lot of trainers have at least 10 at this point!"

"There you go again, Misty, always putting me down," said Ash. He approached the crab Pokemon and poked it with his finger. Krabby was intrigued and pinched the boy's finger!

"Son of a..." started Ash. His thumb started to swell and he winced at how painful it was. "Fine. I'll show you how to catch a Pokemon!" Ash decided to do something relatively out of the norm; he grabbed a stick that was blown onto the beach and poked the Krabby. Krabby extended a pincer and snapped the twig into multiple little bits as if cutting paper with scissors. Ash took out a Pokeball and threw it at Krabby and the crustacean was engulfed by the red light. The ball shook three times, and, surprisingly, stayed put.

"You just got lucky," stated Misty. "I personally think it's a fluke."

End flashback...

"Oh, yeah? Well, I got something to say to you, Misty. Leaving me was your biggest fluke," said Ash. "When I get my act together, you'll be full of regret!"

Machop was hiding behind a rock and carefully watching Ash. He liked his spunky attitude, but he feared that Ash on the verge of another breakdown.

Ash looked at the scenery and sighed. "Nothing is gonna happen to me. Nothing..." Ash stopped and looked and Krabby and the boy smiled. "Just me and Krabby...out here...far away from people...who..." The reality hit Ash again like a car smashing into a brick wall.

"..Just me...and Krabby." He began to laugh with hysteria. Machop was beginning to get very worried. Krabby looked at Ash as if the boy had lost his mind. And that was just what happened. "That means...No Pikachu! The one whom I let stay out of his ball and helped him in his time of need! No Pidgeotto! No Bulbasaur! No Charmander! No Squirtle! No Primeape! And sure as hell no fucking Misty or Brock!" Ash dropped down to his knees and started crying. Machop gasped and ran away. Krabby walked in his sideways fashioned to wards Ash and gently patted him with his pincer as a sign of affection and that it was going to be okay...hopefully.

Ash picked up and hugged Krabby. "Please...stay with me...don't turn into one of those...those...no good low-lives! I hate them! I hate them!"

He resumed his outburst of cursing them and crying until a voice behind him said his name.

"Ash."

I put a long A.N. in my profile with some possible clarifications.