Hey all - thanks so much for the feedback on this story. I'm sure there are several ways in which Arthur could/would have responded in the days following Gwen's return to Camelot had the show given us that storyline. As they did not and because Arthur had a tendency to retreat to his room whenever he was really upset, I went in this direction so to give voice to his feelings and later to Gwen's.

Hope you enjoy. Would love to hear what you think!

Chapter 2

Three days had passed and Arthur Pendragon wasn't himself.

Feigning illness, he'd taken to his room and had shunned all public appearances. He'd missed council meetings. His knights went on with their training without him. His food was rarely touched and the only one that had seen or spoken with him was Merlin.

And Gaius.

King Uther had Gaius summoned.

"Well, Gaius. What have you discovered?"

"Nothing, Sire." The aged physician answered, as always when it Uther Pendragon's presence, with extreme caution. "A thorough physical examination has revealed nothing amiss with the young prince."

Uther contemplated this news then, as usual, assumed the worst. "Could his current state be the result of sorcery?"

"I think not."

"Then what is it, Gaius? Why is Arthur not...Arthur?"

"I fear, Sire, that the malady afflicting Arthur is one of the spirit."

"Meaning?"

"He seems...depressed, Sire."

"Depressed." Uther repeated before scoffing at the thought. "Nonsense. Arthur is the future king of Camelot. My son. He knows that emotions are a weakness, and therefore, does not let his rule him. Depression is a malady he, as a Pendragon, cannot afford."

"No doubt you are correct. Arthur is a strong, rational prince and the people trust his judgment as they do yours." Gaius affirmed quickly in an attempt to deflect Uther's ire, while still making his point. "But even the strongest among us have a weakness, Sire. Perhaps Arthur has encountered his."

Uther grew agitated. "And what, pray tell, would that weakness be?"

"Only Arthur knows the answer to that, Sire."

Contemplating Gaius' assessment, a stubborn Uther came to a conclusion and issued an unbending decree. "I don't care the reason. If he is not ill, I want him at the breakfast table tomorrow morning at which time he will resume his duties to their full extent."

"Sire, perhaps it is best to let this run its course..."

Uther stood, towering like a tyrant over the court. "He will appear before me tomorrow or be thrown in the dungeon along with the rest of Camelot's useless and wayward citizens."

"But, Sire..." Gaius began to protest.

"My decision, Gaius, is final."

"Arthur, this is getting serious." Merlin declared to an unaffected Arthur Pendragon. "Your father is threatening to throw you in the dungeons. You have to snap out of this…this…whatever this is!"

"And how exactly do you propose I do that, Merlin?" Arthur turned from the window to address his servant, his generous lips turned down into a now-perpetual frown. "I have been a fool. And one that will be faced with that knowledge every moment I spend outside the walls of this room. The ache was bad enough before but now? Now, every time I see her walking down a corridor or standing quietly by Morgana's side, I will be reminded of just how foolish I've been."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but…" Merlin mumbled under his breath then made sure Arthur heard every word of his next statement. "…you are not a fool, Arthur Pendragon." Merlin huffed out his frustration. "At least not on this issue."

"No?" Arthur queried. "You were there. You saw what I saw."

"Yes, I did." Merlin confirmed. "But I'm not nearly as convinced of what it meant as you seem to be."

Arthur scoffed and turned back to the window. "Clearly, you are not accustomed to the ways of a woman."

"And you are not entirely accustomed to Gwen's." Merlin shot back.

"Merlin." Hands on his hips, Arthur's sharp tone, stance and clenched jaws told Merlin he was dangerously close to being tossed out of the Prince's bedchamber on his ear. "You can leave now."

"Arthur…"

"Now, Merlin. Unless you want me to find a vat of hot oil."

Despite Arthur's bluster, Merlin knew he was dangerously close to crossing that ever-present, imaginary line that could mean the difference between life in the castle or banishment forever. If he wanted to end this conversation with all of his bodily pieces intact, he needed to proceed with caution.

Gathering and releasing a calming breath, Merlin tempered his tone.

"Look, Arthur, all I'm saying is that Gwen is a genuine and honest soul that isn't prone to toying with a person's emotions. Whatever happened between you…whatever made you believe she shared your feelings…" With Arthur's confession on the quest to find Gwen, Merlin's curiosity on the subject had been sparked. He so wished to know what had occurred between the young prince he served and one of his best friends, but dared not ask. Especially not with the latest turn of events. "…then it was real for her too."

Anger slightly abated, Arthur's shoulders slumped in defeat. "And what if I just misinterpreted things? What if what I want is only what I want when all she wants is…him?"

"You wouldn't even ask that question if you'd seen her these past few days." That gained the Prince's full attention. "She's as miserable as you are, Arthur."

"And how do you know she isn't miserable because he didn't come back with us?" Arthur asked, then when an immediate answer didn't come, he added with conviction. "See? You don't."

"Only because I haven't asked her outright." Merlin shot back. "Is that what it'll take for you to snap out of this? The certainty of her feelings?"

"No." Arthur answered instinctively. "If it is Lancelot she really wants, then…there is no hope for me. And I don't think I want to know that."

"But Arthur…"

"And if, by some miracle, I am the one she dreams of, well…then that's a rather hopeless case as well. For both of us." Arthur shrugged helplessly then let out a groan of frustration, giving Merlin a mere glimpse of the turmoil raging in his heart. "Maybe it would be better for her if he is the one she cares for. At least then, one of us could be happy."

"Do you really believe that?" Merlin asked, surprised by the selflessness of Arthur's admission. "That things would be better if Gwen were with Lancelot."

"If she loves him, Merlin, then…yes. I do." Arthur answered without hesitation, though the pain in eyes belied the truth in his heart.

"And what about you? What about your happiness?" Merlin queried.

"I am destined to be king, Merlin. No one ever promised me a happy ever after."

Still convinced Arthur had not been mistaken about Gwen's feelings for him, Merlin pressed his case. "But what if you're wrong? What if Gwen does, as I believe, feel as you do and you could have that? With her?"

Arthur turned away and began to pace like a caged animal. "As I said before, Merlin, it's all talk. Nothing can ever come of it."

"But if she cares for you…"

"Nothing, Merlin." Arthur reiterated adamantly. "I have to find a way to feel that as much as I know it, or all may be lost." Arthur stopped pacing and spun to face Merlin, the wretchedness of his struggle so plainly etched on his face. "So, you see, as I am in rather a sorry state at the moment, it matters not where I reside – whether here or in the dungeons. No matter where I am, I am already imprisoned."

And for the first time, Merlin really did see.

He saw the impossibilities of Arthur's situation like never before. His destiny as king. His father's prejudices. The laws that that would never allow Arthur the happiness he so desired. But even more than all that, Merlin saw the depths of Arthur Pendragon's love for the worthiest of women. And his deepest fears that that love would never be returned.

"This is not at all like you, Arthur. You don't accept defeat this easily. Ever."

Sighing, Arthur turned back to the window, his gaze on the distant horizon as the sun began to sink behind the trees, casting shadows on the planes of his face. "This isn't like facing an enemy in battle or a competitor in a tourney, Merlin. This is so much more important than any of all that. This is about Guinevere's heart, her future happiness."

"And her happiness means that much to you?"

"It means everything." Arthur whispered then continued with a surprising question. "Do you remember what you said to me? That when I become king, I can change things?"

"Of course."

"Do you know that Guinevere said nearly the same thing to me once? Right after I told her my father would never understand…us." Arthur's eyes drifted closed and his voice softened in a way Merlin had never heard before. "It is from that moment, Merlin, that there's been a glimmer of hope – a light at the end of the long, dark tunnel between this day and that. Guinevere was that light. Despite what I know, how impossible it all is, I at least had her belief in me to light the path before me, to show me the way."

He swallowed hard as his eyes, dulled with weariness and pain, slid open once more. "And now, now I feel as if…" Arthur's deep sigh echoed against the cold, stone walls of his chambers. "…as if that light has been snuffed out. I know not what direction to take from here."

"Arthur…"

"Don't please. It is enough." Perhaps realizing how much he'd revealed, a suddenly stoic Arthur abruptly cut off any further discourse. "I'll work out a way to deal with this, Merlin. On my own."

"But your father's threat…"

"Let them come." Arthur stated simply, wearily. "For now, please…just go."

"Do you really think he would do it? Throw Arthur into the dungeons, I mean?"

Still reeling from his earlier conversation with Arthur and the depth of feeling it had revealed, Merlin shrugged in answer to Gwen's question as he continued to add food to a platter he knew Arthur would dismiss without a glance. "He's done it before when Arthur defied him. At this point, it's a matter of the Pendragon pride. Uther can't bear to have anyone think his son is weak."

Gwen's agitated pacing stopped when she spun to face Merlin.

"Arthur is anything but weak. He is, by far, the strongest, bravest knight Camelot has ever seen. And he's certainly the noblest man I've ever known." A fierce Gwen stated. "Surely the king knows that about his own son."

A bit taken back by Gwen's strong defense of Arthur, and yet not surprised in the least, a witty Merlin-retort died on his lips when he saw the intensity in her dark eyes. Merlin, wisely, decided to let it pass. "Uther knows what he wants to know."

"Is Gais right then? Is there really nothing wrong with Arthur? Physically, I mean." Gwen worried her lower lip as she waited for Merlin's answer.

"He is not ill, if that is the question."

A deep, frustrated sigh filled the momentary silence. "Tell me the truth, Merlin, is all of this...because of me? Because of what happened when the two of you came to rescue me from Hengist?"

Merlin opened his mouth to answer then clearly thought better of it. He was certain that Arthur would not want him sharing all that he had learned in one short conversation. Even more than that, he was feeling suddenly, overwhelmingly protective of Arthur.

He gave Gwen a pointed look instead.

"Alright, that wasn't fair. I know as his manservant, his secrets are your secrets as well." Understanding Merlin's hesitation better than most, Gwen quickly devised a new tact. "How about this then? If, in fact, Arthur's current state is due to those events, hand me his platter and I will deliver his dinner to him tonight."

Merlin paused a moment in thought then slowly shook his head. "Gwen, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Let's just say…" Merlin chose his words carefully. "…that Arthur is at a very important crossroads right now. And, I'm sorry, Gwen, but to be honest, I'm not at all sure that a visit from you is what he needs."

"What do you mean?" Hurt filled Gwen's eyes.

"Gwen, I can't…"

"Fine. But if something I've done has brought him to this, I can't, I won't stand here and do nothing." A determined Guinevere stepped up to the table. "Merlin. He saved me from the jaws of death. The least I can do is save him from a night in the dungeon. Or at least try."

Relenting with a sigh, Merlin started to hand her the platter then stopped. "Gwen. I've never seen him like this. Please…be careful."

"Merlin. Don't worry." Then without a question being asked, she wisely answered. "I know my own heart." She held out her hands. "Now give me the platter and leave Arthur to me."

tbc...