Author's Note: So… Originally this was a one shot but, thanks to everyone's follows and requests for me to continue, I chose to write some more on this fanfic… So now it's a fluffy two-shot… Soooo Bellarke. 3

ALSO, Thank you all so much for the reviews! They really made me smile through the pain the episode caused! Keep them coming (if possible) and tell me what you think!

Bellamy walked back into camp, his catch from the hunting trip in tow. He quickly walked straight to where the other hunting party had just returned their catch- not as good as Bellamy's catch, but they weren't used to hunting quite yet, and he had experience. After dropping off his catch, he walked straight over to a certain blonde's tent. He's been checking up on her since they came back, because he was constantly worrying about her leaving again.

It had been a whole 24 hours since they returned from the battle at Mount Weather and he had convinced Clarke to stay at camp. She had barely spoken to anyone though. Right when they got back, Bellamy convinced Clarke to join him for that drink, but her mind was elsewhere. Something about Clarke was different, and he didn't know if it worried him more or if it scared him or if he liked it.

He walked into the tent, eyes searching the corners first, since the first time he came in there after leaving her alone she had been in a corner with her arms hugging her knees to her chest. Bellamy's worry had only gotten worse since then. But when he looked around the tent, Clarke was no where to be found.

He panicked, noticing her makeshift bed hadn't even been slept in. Also, her tent was empty of most items, all in all, her tent was just… empty. His mind raced with theories, the first and most prominent one was that she ended up leaving anyway, despite his big speech and protests. But he hoped more than anything she didn't leave. He couldn't do it without her.

Bellamy spun on his heels and raced out of her tent, set on finding Octavia, Raven, or Abby because they were most likely to know if Clarke had left, or if she hadn't, where she would be. But as he quickly walked towards the med bay, since it was the closest stop on his way, he saw a blonde head far away, isolated by the fence.

He made his way to her, relief flooding through him as he saw her. She didn't leave.

He sat down next to her, taking in her expression. Which, to be honest, Bellamy didn't see much of. Her face was completely void of expression and it almost scared him, but he knew better. She was staring out beyond the fence at the tree line, a far-off look in her eyes.

"Clarke." He whispered.

She didn't even flinch, just kept staring straight out the fence.

"Clarke?" He raised his voice this time.

Still no response.

"Clarke!" He practically yelled, this time putting his hand on her shoulder.

This got her to respond. She quickly grabbed his wrist and twisted it backwards until it hurt. He winced a little, and Clarke's eyes took a moment to register that it was just him. When she registered who it was, her face softened and showed her regret, and her grip loosened until she completely drew back, moving a few feet away.

"I'm sorry, Bellamy!" She whispered.

"Hey," He grunted, wincing at the pain. "Don't worry about it, just next time you might want to check who you are assaulting first." He rubbed his wrist, smirking at Clarke. "When did you get so strong?"

"I don't feel so strong." Clarke whispered again as she looked back out the fence.

"Clarke..." Bellamy tentatively reached out to grab her hand. She practically jumped back, flinching from his touch. Bellamy tried to play off the hurt, but judging by Clarke's sorry expression he knew he failed miserably.

"Bellamy, I'm sorry. I- I just don't feel like the same person I was before..." Clarke trailed off, expression grim.

"None of us is the same person anymore, Clarke. If I remember, you were a royal pain in the ass in the beginning, all set on following the rules and getting the rest of the people down to the ground. Now look at you, you're-"

"A murderer." She spat out.

"No, you're not! Stop talking like that!" He hated when she talked like that, in fact it broke his heart.

"But it's true. Look at the facts! I pulled the lever that killed the grounder army and almost killed you and Finn. And then I did kill Finn to serve the truce with the Grounders. And one of the worst parts is..." Her face contorted in pain and regret while tears started forming. "I let the missiles drop on Ton DC."

"You what?" Bellamy couldn't believe what he heard. "I thought you were going off to warn them! My sister was in Ton DC! Clarke-" His anger rose a bit.

"I know! And you have no idea how much I regret that! You think I wanted to let the missile drop? I did go there to warn everyone, but Lexa-" Clarke stopped abruptly and turned away, her face looked crushed. She continued anyway, still trying not to look at him. "Lexa convinced me that if we evacuated, they would know we had an inside man, and you'd be killed."

"So instead you let hundreds die?" Bellamy asked.

"I didn't want this! And I did it to save you, but… I saved you and ended up killing hundreds. I regretted it the moment I left, I tried to go back, but…"

Bellamy sat there, looking at Clarke, this new, strong, and broken version of Clarke. He tried to think of what he would've done if their roles had been reversed. If Clarke had warned him of the missiles, and he was told if they evacuated, he'd not only mess up the entire plan and lose the army- and possibly the war- he'd lose Clarke. But if he didn't evacuate, many people's lives would be lost- possibly including Octavia's. He sighed as he figured out what he'd have done; He would have done the same thing, just gotten Octavia out as well.

"Clarke, I would have done the same thing." He said, slightly defeated.

"That doesn't make it okay, though." She whispered, and Bellamy could see tears falling off her chin.

"If you didn't, the whole plan would've been gone, along with the Grounder truce." He reasoned.

"It's already gone!" She whipped her head around, eyes so broken it clutched at his heart and made it hard for him to breathe. "Lexa- Lexa ruined everything!"

"How?"

"She went back on the plan! When all of our people were outside Mount Weather and ready to storm the place, she ended up making a deal with the Mountain Men to get all her people out alive. Just her people, with no mention of ours. They sounded the retreat and took their army with them, leaving me alone, staring at the door." Clarke forcefully wiped away tears. "But then I ran down to the tunnels to find another way in and your sister was there. If Lexa hadn't gone and made that damn deal-"

"We wouldn't have had to kill everyone in the mountain." Bellamy finished for her.

"Maya was innocent. She helped us. Jasper loved her! And I killed her!" Clarke fell to her knees, more tears shining on her face.

"We killed her! Clarke, I knew either way that lever was going to be pulled. I knew that you had enough to deal with- though I had no idea it was this bad- so I thought I'd help you and share the burden." He kneeled down next to her, putting his fingers under her chin to make her look at him. "You aren't the only one responsible for this, I am too. We did it."

Clarke just leaned into him, her tears stopping slowly.

"I killed Finn for nothing." She whispered.

Bellamy just stroked her hair and held her tightly, not entirely sure of what else to do. They sat there like that for a while.

"I just- Sometimes I can't handle the fact that everyone looks up to me. I never asked for this! I never asked for them to look to me for every decision, or to help them through every problem. I never make a decision for myself anymore... And that's why leaving seems like such a good option; to get away and only have to worry about one life and not ruining hundreds of others." Clarke shook her head in his chest, trying to convince herself there was still good in her.

"Clarke, you make decisions for yourself all the time, they might not be the big ones, but still. Clarke, the decisions you make are always hard, but they end up saving so many people. You're so strong, and it's unbelievable how strong you are. I don't even think I could make all the decisions you have or even go through everything you have. Sometimes I completely forget you're still only 18."

"Only?" Clarke asked with a sad note of mockery.

"Only, when I'm 23 and you are making decisions more mature than mine. Before you, I tried the 'torture first, ask questions later' method, and I'm ashamed of that. I wasn't the greatest person. And then you came along, with you 'mightier than you' Princess attitude. We all thought you were a spy to begin with, and when you were focused on logical things like food and shelter, we were focused on having fun and being free. I tried so hard to make sure the Ark didn't come down to the ground, but I didn't know that the Ark was dying, so I would've let so many people die. If it wasn't for you, Clarke. You may not have asked for this, but you sure do a hell of a job and we need you. I need you."

Clarke just wrapped her arms around him tightly, whispering her gratitude into his shirt. When she pulled back, she met his dark brown eyes with her blue ones. They knew what each other was thinking, because simultaneously they both leaned into each other, their lips meeting in the middle. The kiss reflected the mood, but- like always- there was a hint of desperate passion that seemed to hover above them constantly.

Bellamy hated to ruin the moment, but he needed to be sure of his growing suspicion.

"Clarke, this morning, when I came back and went to find you, you weren't in your tent-"

"I was out here-"

"I know," He sighed. "But I panicked. I was worried you actually left, that the whole time we talked you had been planning on leaving anyway, and that the words we spoke meant nothing. Obviously, I overreacted. But I need you to know that I can't lose you right now. None of this-" He gestured around them. "Would have been possible without you. I know it cost a lot, especially for you, but you are the reason we won the war; the reason we got our people back; the reason the mountain men are no longer a problem. I just don't want to lose you. So I need to know that you aren't planning on leaving-"

"Bellamy," Clarke touched his arm to stop the overflow of words that were about to spill from his lips. "I'm not going to leave, but if I ever do, I will tell you first. Or I will drag you with me."

"I don't know whether to be insulted or complimented." Bellamy smirked.

"Both." She yawned.

"Did you even sleep last night?" He asked her. She shook her head. "Clarke, what can I say to get you to understand that this isn't all on you? Not everything is your fault. Not every death is your fault."

"Bellamy..." She trailed off. "I don't think you can help... This is just one of those things that, I have to do. For them," she gestured to the waking camp. "And for myself, and you."

"Well," Bellamy stretched, rising to his feet. "I didn't sleep much either, since I was on an early hunting party, and I had this weird feeling you'd run off somewhere without so much as a goodbye." She lowered her eyes, smiling slightly, as if she was glad she was one of the thoughts that kept the great Bellamy Blake up at night. "So, let's get some sleep."

"But we have things to do, since we just won a war." Clarke protested weakly.

"Exactly. You need the energy for that, which you obviously don't have, and everyone will understand if you sleep a little later. After all, being in charge isn't easy, now, is it?" He gave her one of his million dollar smirks, and offered a hand to her. She smiled and took it, letting him lead her back to her tent.

When she walked into her tent, she looked back toward Bellamy, who was trying to watch her from the corner of his eye without her knowing, and failing. She knew she wanted to sleep, but didn't know if she could.

"Bellamy?" She called. He turned, looking both concerned and hopeful. He raised an eyebrow for her to continue. "Will you stay with me?"

She had all this guilt constantly pushing down on her, making it hard to breath. But anytime she was around Bellamy, the pressure seemed to lessen, giving her a chance to breath. After what she had just done to save her people, sleeping seemed like an impossible thing. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw death. Dante, all the people in Mount Weather, Maya, even Finn. It was a hard life to live, and the only one who seemed to understand her was Bellamy.

He smiled, walking into her tent. When he later down, she snuggled up next to him, holding him, while he held her like she would disappear if he didn't keep her in his arms. He kissed the top of her head, and whispered "whatever the hell you want," as she drifted off to sleep.