Yuffie was true to her word, passing out just as soon as she walked in their apartment, stumbling her way to his room (she had her own room, why was she going to his)- snoring slightly in the sweaty tangled mess of his bed that they didn't have time to clean. Reno followed her in, a frown carved on his face since he heard about the mission- human trafficking was a dirty business, and he hated dealing with it, those bastards were ruthless and probably the most dangerous out of all the people they dealt with; willing to do anything to protect their position and more importantly, their money. You just didn't fuck around with them without a suicide note, and Yuffie, that stupid twit had just willingly cart wheeled herself in the middle of it all, and didn't even have enough sense to lose sleep over it.
And that really, really bothered him- he would be losing enough sleep for both of them.
Reno realized that it was either Yuffie or Elena, it had to be one of them- and as bad as it sounded he would have given anything for Elena to get stuck with it. It wasn't that he was less fond of her, or even that he thought she was bettered situated for the mission- Elena was like his goody-goody, follow the rules little sister and he loved her, it was for more selfish reasons then that. Elena had Rude to worry about her, so Reno really wouldn't have to… Yuffie, however, he couldn't help but break out into sweat for every reckless decision she made. The thought of her living with Derek Duval and being subjected to the kind of shit he will no doubt pull twisted his stomach and heart and everything in between into a giant unhealthy knot that launched itself in his throat.
He knew there was something she wasn't telling him too, which made it worse, and he knew it had something to do with Elena- he saw the brief look of panic that washed across Yuffie's face when Reeve turned his attention to Elena… right before she volunteered, right there in the middle of his sentence. He had noticed the glance they shared, telling secrets, big dangerous secrets. He would find out what was going on tomorrow, when he was with Elena- if Yuffie had any intension of telling him at all she would have already done so.
He walked over to his bedroom and studied her. She hadn't bothered to get undressed, or even to take off her shoes- she just sprawled out on top of the sheets and blankets and conked out. "What the hell are you thinking?" he whispered to her, hoping maybe she would sleep talk and spill out all of those stupid little thoughts that were bouncing inside her mind.
He sat down on the foot of the bed, untied her shoelaces and took off both ridiculously bright sneakers as discreetly as he could (Reeve and her had butted heads about the shoes every day, it was like a ritual now like brushing your teeth and putting the toilet seat down, Reeve would glare at her shoes and she would jump to their defense I can't be ninjaish if I'm wearing Turkey shoes) - picked up a blanket on the floor and laid it across her; she was always fucking cold when she woke up. It was an endearing gesture, nauseatingly so, and he was beyond thankful that she was practically comatose at the moment- he would never hear the end of it.
She had had a point before; she was just as good a fighter as he was and excelled in the art of taking care of herself. He had seen her kill many many times before, slicing men left and right with guts flying and blood spewing and she handled it with the ease only experience and training could ensure; she had seen things that were just about as fucked up as it comes- and still he viewed her as doe-eyed and innocent. She had told him once that she was the most underestimated person in the world- that's why she was so good at what she did; no one ever considered her a threat with her big feet and bright colors until they had a throwing star lodged in their throat. He knew that better than anyone, but he couldn't shake that feeling gnawing at the bottom of his gut- she wasn't ready to for this.
He sighed, glancing at her one last time before getting up and actually doing the laundry for once.
It took her a few blinking moments to wake up a few hours later and place where exactly she was, finally recognizing Reno's room by the hole in the wall and the pale arm around her waist. She yawned contently, arching upward to stretch her back turning her head to look at Reno's face to see any signs of disturbance, trying to cause as few tremors on the bed as possible to allow him to continue to sleep- her act of kindness for the day. It however went in vain as two green eyes abruptly sprung open; scaring the shit out of her, being a Turk taught him to be an incredibly light sleeper when he wanted to be.
"Uh, whoops?" she offered, laughing weakly before swinging her legs over to the side of the bed and sat up; only to be dragged back down again by a very company hungry Reno, hugging her into him so tightly she was scared she was going to collapse his ribs or something, and the day already sucked enough without internally wounding your cuddle buddy.
"Nah uh princess, I let you off easy this morning. Don't think I forgot about that, and there is no one at the door to save you this time." She put up no argument, turning around to nuzzle her face into the crook of his neck a smirk painted on her face. She fingered a loose lock of his hair absentmindedly, warm crimson against calloused white- she gagged mentally on how cheesy and poetic that was and all the different faces Reno would make if she told him, served him right for having pretty hair.
"The only reason I'm coming back willingly is because you're warm," she said to his skin, "don't assume I like you or anything," and smiled.
"Of course not," his hands traced small pictures on her back; stick figures with stick houses and stick grenades- she found it harder to stay awake.
"Hey Reno?"
"Hm."
"You weren't actually asleep were you?"
"No." His clothes were still on; he doesn't sleep with them on unless he absolutely has to- more accurately he doesn't wear them period unless he absolutely has to.
"Oh, what were you doing then?"
He snorted "Solving world hunger." Sarcastic bastard. That was so the last time she was going to be even mildly interested in anything he did.
Silence.
"Hey Reno?"
"Yeah," She felt the vibrations of his voice against her cheek- it tickled.
"What time is it?"
"Around sixish, or it was when I looked last." He said with a yawn.
"And when was that?"
"Around sixish." Stupid asshole.
Silence.
"Hey Reno?"
"God, what?!" he asked, amusingly annoyed, and annoyingly amused.
"Do I kick in my sleep?" She was quieter this time - exploding of self consciousness.
He noticed her change in tone, in response to it he exchanged his normal answer of 'like a PMSing chocobo' to just a simple, "yes."
He felt her blush on his neck, "Hard?"
"I've got bruises babe, you don't even have to be awake to wanna kick my ass." His Renoish attempt to lighten the mood; it failed miserably for the record, because nothing could prepare him for her reply.
"Oh… You think that Derek guy will mind, I mean if I have to live with him then it's probably not in my favor if I'm kicking the shit out of him every time he goes to sleep. What if he notices how hard I actually kick, normal girls couldn't possibly have as strong legs as I do- so my kicks are probably fifty billion times worse. What if he notices that, it could blow my cover! How am I supposed to stop being Yuffie Kisaragi super kick ass ninja-turk in my sleep? What if I sleep tal-" She was panicky sounding, like a four year old with monsters under her bed- she just talked and talked in breathy intervals, rambling irrational thoughts that waterfall out of her mouth. He interrupted her before she could psyche herself out anymore; he was no stranger to poisons of self-doubt
"Yuffie, calm down." She had clawed herself even closer to him, grabbing hold to the wrinkly folds of his shirt. "The bastard is like the whore king, he has slept with god knows how many women babe, I'm pretty sure a little kicking isn't gonna phase him much. Plus the fucker needs a foot up his ass" He took a breath trying to catch up with all the issues she addressed, "I won't lie, your legs aren't normal- they are phenomenal, so that will just work to your advantage." He pried her away from him slightly to look at her face- gray eyes and uncertainly. "You will do fine princess."
She wasn't aware that she was holding her breath until she felt herself let it go in an unattractive huff, I will do fine I will do fine I will do fine.
She was pretty sure she was bipolar or some other over diagnosed mental disorder, because not four hours ago she was the one convincing him that she could do it- and she just wasted that cool pep talk speech she had given him by freaking out about something stupid like this. It is a pretty retarded thing to contradict yourself in front of the very person you want to be confident in you. But the smallest details always freaked her out.
She sat up again, successfully this time, and made it a point to bounce out of bed- counteracting what just happened and praying the he might have had something to drink when she was asleep so all he will remember tomorrow is the very refined details of the toilet bowl, and maybe everything he has had to eat in the last 24 hours. Who was she kidding, she had only seen him vomit up all his lovely little entrails once- after Reeve's New Year's Party with Avalanche; and that was probably on behave of Barret's shit-facedness combined with his exhibitionist streak. Yuffie blew chunks many times as well that night, everyone did.
She turned around and found him staring at her, she expected him to be more than a little lost considering she jumped from breathy and nervous, to bubbly and giddy in a matter of a few seconds- but upon closer exception, it didn't look like he was confused at all. The only evidence of bewilderment was an eyebrow perched higher than normal; the rest of his face was saturated in a subliminal understanding and a hint of concern. It was a little unnerving but she guessed he knew her pretty well, they lived and worked together- it was a rare occurrence when they weren't attached by the hip.
She striked a typical Yuffie pose, arms launched in to the air punching the wicked unseen enemy Carbon Dioxide, anything to get him to stop looking so serious. She however, conveniently forgot she was still wearing his clothes (about twenty billion sizes to big) and her pants abandoned her in the middle of her battle with the invisible, he smiled wolfly to neon yellow smiley face underwear and the bright red Yuffie inside them.
"You sneaky bastard, you knew that would happen!" she accused, hastily pulling the pants back up bundling them in the front.
He sat up his shirt more messed up then usual thanks to her little outburst, "I hate to squash your confidence in me, but I have nothing to do with gravity, babe. Though I will have to thank it for this one."
" Asshole, you probably blackmailed it do it. It's probably some kind of secret Turk trick you haven't taught me yet, like doing that thing with people fingers that makes them shit themselves. When am I gonna learn that?"
"Never, I may be a coldblooded heartless killer- but I'll be damned if I let you walk out into the world with that kind of information on you, I have some morals." He slowly stood up on two shaky feet, and searched around for his pack of cigarettes. She stuck her tongue out at him over her shoulder, as she walked out into the kitchen.
"Be sure to emphasize the heartless part," she yelled at him, opening the fridge. "How is it possible that we don't have any food."
His arms wrapped around her from behind, he rested his head on top of hers to look at the contents of their fridge, an unlit cigarette draping from his lips, "Hey we got beer."
She snorted, still hypnotized by the empty shelves, "Gawd forbid we not have any beer."
"Don't knock it, it makes being hungry a hell of a lot easier." He said, reaching over her to one of the said objects. She ducked below him, throwing him off balance and headed for the phone, "What are you doing?"
"I'm ordering pizza, and you're paying." She said, dialing the memorized number; rule two when living with Reno- respect the delivery.
"Why the hell am I paying?" he asked slurping down half of his beer.
"Because Turkey, you went to the grocery store and your retarded alcoholic driven brain choose to ignore the fact you need food to live and instead focused on booze, cigarettes, and no doubt some porn or something." She put up her middle finger as to signify the end of her monologue and treaded off to the other side of the room and placed her order to the distracted teenager on the line.
"I'm not paying, yo. You didn't even ask if I even wanted pizza." He said to her crossly when she came back.
"Duh, you always want pizza- I would be wasting air the trees worked very hard to make if I asked you something stupid like that." He didn't look convinced, "Fine, I'll make a deal with you, whiney fucker. We will play Go-fish over it, if I win you pay, and vice versa, and if you even think about complaining, I will shoved ninja stars so far up your ass your ears will bleed. Comprende?"
He ignored her threat quite blankly, "Why Go-fish? Can't we play poker?"
"No, poker is for old men, plus I cheat way better at Go-Fish." She grinned.
He thought for a moment, "One condition princess, we up the ante" he smirked wildly, "strip Go-Fish."
"Reno how the hell is that even possible? Only you would try and deflower one of the most innocent games on the planet, it's like… strip hopscotch, or naked tic tac toe." He's gaze didn't waver, "How do we do it?" she finally replied with a sigh.
"When someone gets a pair, the other person has to take off their clothes- the loser has to not only pay for the pizza, but they have to get up and pay for it with the amount of clothes they lost in." he said smoothly, lighting his cigarette.
An aggressive grin was her response.
The delivery boy walked up to the room, slowly and carefully- this was the infamous Turk's room; the stories about this apartment that circulated around Caledonia's Pizza were enough to make anyone wet themselves. They had debated on who had to do the terrible deed this time, fate and a short straw had chosen him and not even a string of obscenities had got him off the hook.
He held his breath as he knocked on the door, mentally getting in a quick prayer before it opened.
There, much to his quezy horror, was a very, very naked Reno of the Turks swinging the door wide open like he was completely unaware that he was unclothed with a growl on his face.
He flung some money at the boy, not caring if he got it on not- viscously snapped the pizza out of his hands and slammed the door walking back to the small brunette dying of hysterical laughter and gasping for breath.
The delivery boy just stood there for a few seconds, trying to compose himself with a series of squeaks before quickly diving for the money and sprinting down the stairs. Man did he have a story for the guys.
"Did you see the look on his face? You probably just signed him up for ten years with a shrink." Yuffie managed to spit out in between her fits of laughter- throwing his boxers back to him.
"Whatever, a sexy spectacle like myself- I bet I turned him queer." He easily caught the clothing, slumping towards her pizza in hand.
She snorted, "Oh no doubt, you definitely made me question my sexual preference." He shot her a look of annoyance before getting dressed one handedly- she eased it for him by getting up and taking the pizza greedily, and planting a firm kiss on his forehead; giggling at his inability to balance on one foot, put on clothes, and scold her all that the same time.
"Oh, so you wouldn't mind if I brought some of my lady friends over," he found his smirk, she made a distinct gagging noise before taking a bite of her slice- he was amazed at how quickly she had obtained the piece of pizza sitting on the couch; reminding himself to stop underestimating how rapidly her thief fingers can work.
"Ew, Grossness. Reno you are so nasty." He laughed, plopping down next to her- he could have sworn she almost growled like a dog when he reached for the pizza.
"Hey babe, you set yourself up for that one" She punched his arm with a sadistic smirk on her face, and stretched out resting her head in his lap and stuck her tongue out before shoving half her slice in her mouth. He rolled his eyes, "charming."
"I know, it's the royalty in me," she said with her mouth full- he realized then that he could never live without her.
When all the pizza was gone, she was still laying on him- his fingers playing with her short hair.
"So when are you going tomorrow?" she asked hesitantly, she really didn't want to bring up this subject in fear that he would go off again, but it was going to happen eventually.
"Before you wake up." he said, looking down at her.
"I doubt it; you can't get out of a bed without waking up everyone on our floor." He frowned, and she giggled "Well wake me up before you go, ok?" she added.
"Why?"
"Just cause," she replied, pausing, "I have to distract you some before you go and subject yourself to huge stripper boobs." She smiled cheekily, he smirked in response- his face shortly after however winced in concentration, it did not go unnoticed. "What's wrong Turkey?"
He didn't answer for a moment, then finally, "Yuffie what aren't you telling me about this mission?" She sat up off him, looking at him wryly, "It's important that there are no secrets going into a job this big."
She analyzed him for a moment, his face had hardened- why was he so jumpy? She considered telling him, but she promised Elena; it wasn't her place.
"You saw the file, you know as much about it as I do." She said smartly.
"Except why you volunteered for it," his voice was more cross now, she bit the inside of her cheek.
"Who else would?"
"It was meant for Elena, you knew that."
"Duh. But Elena has a life, Reno. She can't afford to go missing for a couple of months. She is married now and has got all that domestic bullshit on her plate." She bit back, raising her voice slightly. She really didn't want to fight about this.
"She is a Turk, it's her job" he snarled.
"Well it's mine now! So drop it." No one spoke for a while, letting the anger simmer, "I'm going to take a shower." She stated abruptly, desperate to get away from the tension.
She stood up to go, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back on him, "Stop babe, look I know I'm being a prink-"
"Damn right"
"- but I got a bad feeling about this. And I've learned to always trust your gut feelin-"
"You can shove your gut feeling up you –"
"Shut up! God damnit, Yuffie will you shut up for just one fucking second! You know how hard it is to sit here and tell you I have never been more nervous about anything then I am about you going on this mission, it's even harder with you fucking interrupting me after every fucking syllable. Do you know how incredibly challenging it is to get you to stop fucking yakking your brains out long enough for me to tell you that the thought of Derek or anyone even touching you is enough to make me lose my mind- calm, cool, carefree Reno sweating, biting his nails, wringing his hands like some kind of pussy ass school girl- all because of you!" He kissed her before she could say anything, fierce and angry; tearing her mouth apart – lips, tongue, and teeth all attacking her like they never would again. She was caught completely by surprise; still trying to compute what he said, and why he said it, and what it meant when his mouth cascaded on hers- stopping all mental thought and demanding that her brain be put on hold; because nothing was more important at that moment then him and her and rising urge to devour each other. He kissed her like he was scared, he kissed her like he was frustrated, he kissed her like he was lost.
He broke it off, twirling her to his chest and resting his head on top of hers, "The thought of something happening to you Yuffs, it kills me like nothing ever could, and you won't even let me talk long enough to tell you."
Yuffie crumpled against him shaking, not entirely sure why. For once she didn't reply- no smart ass comments, no snorts or smirks, no 'Turkey'; just her trying to catch her breath and him holding her as tightly as he could. Eventually he felt her breathing steady against him, and came to the conclusion the she was once again asleep- she was always sleeping, he still however continued to stroke her hair; it calmed him as much as it did her, plus she might wake up randomly.
"God, I need a smoke." He sighed, before shifting so they were both horizontal on the cough, curling closer to her before closing his own eyes.