Arctama
AN: Well bend me over and call me sally! I've never reached this amount of Favorites and follows before! Especially in such a short timespan! If this keeps up I might get into third digits! Well anyways, time to answer some Reviews!
Reviews
The SENDER and the TRAVELER: Well there'll be a lot of interesting things in this story. What those things will be it's up for my brain to decide… You hear that you peanut sized bastard!
Guest (1): I didn't understand the first half of your sentence but I did understand the second part, don't worry I'll continue this series
Undeadhero143: Yes, I could've replaced Shinpachi with Oscar and Tae with Amber but it's already too late for that… And the fact that I always kept forgetting about him even with the whole Ozpin is his subconscious schtick that happened and then Volume 5 happens and… Look I'll save my rant over volume 4 and 5 later but in short volume 4 was edginess to the max and Volume 5… Where do I even begin… *sigh* I could list off many, MANY more things that make me hate Volume 5 but I'll keep it to myself for the sake of my sanity.
Besides, you can never replace the straight man!
Frank Horrigan: I really have nothing substantial to add…
Guest (Mayonnaise Zoro): Well I was considering Ren to fit the role of Katsura but I scrapped the Idea once I cemented the storyline of Arctama. And don't worry I plan to have a fucking field day with Arctama.
JOK3R of Monday: I mean, all those things are obvious after all this what the AU is all about, Jaune basically filling the role of Sakata Gintoki in the RWBY universe.
SolidShinji104: True… But at this point I already brought in like five characters from Gintama (You'll get what I mean when you read this chapter) so staying in universe is pretty redundant now, So I'll just mix them together and see what happens
X3runner: Yep! This is a first in all the RWBY fanfictions that have Jaune Arc as the protagonist!
Guest (2): As much as I'd like to, that's not possible for many reasons, the main one being I'm not efficient with my time so story updates are always at random, sorry about that but it's just how it works.
And now that I'm done with the reviews let's get to the second chapter of Arctama
Wait before I forget I want to give huge thanks to Haseoblade-Skyking01 for being my beta reader!
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Chapter 2: Just because you have two androids from the Atlas military doesn't mean it's illegal to be their boss
"Man, today was a pain in my ass! I swear Atlas should come up with something original for once rather than rip-off other things, they're probably going to become the China of Remnant at this rate" Jaune said as he then proceeded to stuff himself with chocolate pudding, currently the trio decided to Withdraw coolly (Insert obligatory jojoke here)from the scene leaving team RWBY to process what happened in front of them, they couldn't utter a single word and their bodies refused to move.
How could Jaune their Jaune the Jaune Arc that could barely put up a fight against the weakest of Grimm be able to take down an atlesian paladin on his own! With a bokutō (Note: A Bokutō or Bokken as it's better known as, is a Japanese wooden sword used for training) out of all things! Granted that little ice cream themed child also helped, but it still didn't change the fact that Jaune managed to cut right through the Mech with the wooden sword! by the time their shock subsided the odd jobs trio had already vanished.
"How many metal gear references are you gonna shove down our throats and why the hell are you referencing a country that isn't even in our world!" Shinpachi shouted, poor guy needs a girlfriend… Pffft
[That was the last one, didn't you read the script?] Neo asked as she also stuffed herself with Ice cream
"We don't have a script! This a Fanfiction not an official anime!"
"Technically we do, after all the Writer must write out all our dialogue in a way that makes sense for the reader" Jaune said nonchalantly
"That's still not a script! It's not even structured like one…! Well except for the ones at Wattpad, but no one talks about those" Shinpachi said in a matter of factly tone
"Actually, that's mostly for those Male Reader X whatever character the virgins that read it like" Jaune replied
"Oi, that's just disrespectful…" This banter went on for a while with Shinpachi surprisingly ending as the winner and Jaune as the loser… For the 345th time, it's safe to say Shinpachi truly is a no life {That's the pot calling the kettle black! You're worse off than me you stupid Writer!}
Eventually they reached their destination, a red two-story building that was clearly separated from the inside, making it so the upper floor can only be accessed via some wooden stairs installed on the right side of the building, at the top of the first floor was a big rectangular sign that spelled out "SNACK OTOSE" in black ink while the top of the second floor, barring the rooftop of course, had a sign with "odd jobs ARC" on it, the odd jobs trio went into the first floor.
"Welcome to… Oh nevermind, it's just the three stooges" Otose. Proprietor of Snack Otose and Jaune's landlady. May or may not be a walking corpse
"Hey old hag we brought that stupid rent money you always keep screeching about" they may have looted the white fang grunts while they were still unconscious and they also may have stolen team RWBY's wallets… they can neither confirm or deny it
"It's about damn time!" Otose exclaimed as she rudely snatched the envelope with the (stolen) money inside and carefully inspected it to make sure it wasn't fake.
"Hmph, if you could actually pay the rent in time like today then maybe I wouldn't be wasting my time with you!" Otose exclaimed
"You're practically an ancient relic! I'm surprised you haven't had a heart attack yet!" He shouted back
"And I'm surprised your alive after going to beacon! You damn faker!" unfortunately Shinpachi and Neo got caught in the crossfire as their argument reached its peak they started throwing anything in their vicinity at each other. including Neo
"H-hey! You two idiots stop it! Stop it right now before someone gets hurt! Seriously Neo looks like she's going to-!" It was too late
"BLEAUGH!" Neo let all the contents in her stomach (obviously All of it being Ice cream) flow out of her mouth which covered everything near her, luckily for everyone they were fast enough to dive into cover
"Oh god! There's vomit everywhere! Penny! Tama!" Otose called out
"Who the hell are you calling? Did you finally stop being sane? Who would even work here anyways?!" Jaune exclaimed as he had to hold his own vomit in and swallow it.
Suddenly an orange haired girl wearing a maid outfit that you'd usually see in a maid cafe (too bad this isn't animated, but this is a Fanfiction and I'm too broke too commission any art) and a green haired girl wearing a kimono burst through the roof and from the ground respectively
"Yes Ms. Otose" Penny and Tama both said in unison, Tama spoke with an emotionless voice while Penny had a cheerful tone despite the job she was going to do
"And like that I retract my previous statement… Actually, I have a question, where did you find these two?" Jaune asked
"I didn't, they came to me searching for jobs, apparently Tama here was a "failed" experiment by those Atlas eggheads while Penny was the successful product, but giving an android a soul was horrible Idea for them since these two ran away after learning that they would terminate Tama" Otose explained
"Wait, if that's the case then why is she-"
"Completely normal looking? Well you can thank the old idiot Gengai for actually doing something right for once *Sigh* But there ya have it, they work for me and I give them food and shelter" Otose said as she glanced at the two androids as they finished mopping the floors
"Penny, Tama I'd like you to meet these idiots" Otose pointed at the Odd Jobs Trio and to say they had a horrible first impression was a severe understatement, for one Neo was still recovering from her sudden explosion, Shinpachi was perving out like always {Give me a damn brake you asshole! It's not every day you get to see a girl in a maid uniform!
And Jaune was blankly staring at them
"Sensational! My name is Penny Polendina but you can call me Penny because we're friends! And friends say each other's firs- MMPPH!" Penny's mouth was stuffed with a muffin by Tama
"Mhm~ delicious!"
"Sorry about my friend Penny she's a little bit. . . eccentric when it comes to making friends" Tama said as she apologetically bowed to the trio
"I can see that, anyways my is Jaune A- Er it's just Jaune, the idiot that can't keep his erection to himself is Shinpachi (HEY!) and the girl who's recovering from throwing up is Neo"
[N-nice to meet ya] She could barely hold up her sign straight but with her message delivered she let her arm collapse
"Three friends in one day! This is our lucky day right Tama!?" Penny enthusiastically asked
"… Yes…" was her reply
"Sensational!"
"Well with all that out of the way, I have to ask you something Jaune" Shinpachi's tone became serious
"When we encountered that Meta- Shit! I mean Paladin! When we encountered it, there were four huntresses with us as well and you looked at them as if you knew them" Shinpachi stated
"…Remember when I told you I used to be a hunter-in-training" Jaune asked expectantly
"Yeah, you told me that you led a team called JNPR" Shinpachi replied
"Well those four girls were basically our sister team, RWBY as they're called… To start us off we got the leader Ruby Rose, the loli of the group, has a weapon fetish and someone who's to naïve for this world but she doesn't want to admit it, next up is her sister Yang Xiao Long, don't know why her name's Chinese but we'll just roll with it, she's the brawler of the group, she's outgoing and laid back as proof of her constant flirting and colorful language… When she's mad that is… Oh and don't cut her hair unless you have a strategy or you want to be a dead man walking, then we have Blake Belladonna… She's a loner and… And… Um… Well shit that's all I know about her to be honest *ahem* anyways the last member of team RWBY Is Weiss… She's a bitch"
"What the hell! What's with the sudden change?! Actually, how the hell are you acquainted with a Schnee?!" Shinpachi basically bombarded Jaune with questions that he didn't want to answer so he simply tuned him out and started to calm himself down
"to answer the first question, I'll say this Weiss Schnee isn't a bad person per se but she's bitchy, demanding, bossy and so much more, and for the second question Weiss isn't the only Schnee I met" Jaune answered
"Huh? What do you mean by that?" asked Shinpachi
Time for a freaking flashback (Even though its barely the second chapter)
Menagerie, this landmass is the safe haven for all faunus a place where they could all relax and live their lives merrily without having to worry about racism and discrimination by humans… Well it was peaceful until the Joushishi (Joi rebels nowadays) were forced into the country by the white fang who have been pushing them off the four Kingdoms, slowly but surely, they were cutting down their numbers despite the fact that the Shiroyasha, the rampaging noble, the Kihetai Commander, and the Loud Fellow were there to cut down their numbers tremendously.
The Joushishi were forced to live in Menagerie as they had no means to leave it without getting their ships destroyed, luckily for them they were greeted with open arms despite the fact they were fighting their own kind which surprised the Joushishi, but in time they managed to adjust and managed to co-exist alongside the Faunus to the point where some of the Joushishi members got married in Menagerie.
But this royally pissed off the White fang, and why shouldn't it? Their plan backfired right in their faces, instead of a blood bath happening by the hands of the humans and encouraging more faunus to join their ranks, the complete opposite happens.
"Jaune arc, sir!" A voice of a woman was heard from behind the blonde as he was surveying the sea for any White Fang ship that may try to approach them (I'm too lazy to describe his current clothing so search it up on google just put Gintoki the Shiroyasha and it'll give you the images of the clothes Jaune's wearing)
"What is it, Winter" Jaune asked as he turned around to see the woman in question who was wearing a white Kimono with Ice crystal patterns on it, but instead of having her legs exposed she opted to put some light blue thigh socks, her blade Sieglinde (insert incest joke here) was by her side ready to be drawn without a second's hesitation
"Our scouts have come back from their scouting mission" she said
"Is that so? Did they have any useful information?" Jaune asked as he put his binoculars away
"According to their report, the White Fang are no longer occupying the seas" Jaune let out smirk
"Heh, the bastards are getting desperate to eliminate us, Winter! Tell the others to get ready! And evacuate the civilians!" He commanded
"Yes sir!" she saluted before leaving
"And for Oum sakes Winter! I told you to just call me Jaune!"
Flashback end
"The battle was bloody alright… For them at least" Jaune said as he took a sip from his sake bottle
"Wow… No wonder Menagerie is letting humans settle there…! Wait, you mentioned Winter's weapon name is Sieglinde, why did she name it that?" Jaune just looked at Shinpachi before taking another drink
"Because the sword I have in the closet, Crocea Mors, was renamed Sigmund" (Incest Joke intensifies)
"But why though?"
"It was supposed to be an Incest joke but by the time I officially renamed Crocea Mors, I realized that the joke was ruined before it even began"
"… You know you can just change the name back to Crocea Mors, right?" Shinpachi deadpanned
"Nah, I'm used to it anyways, who knows maybe I'll have to kill Fomortiis in the future (Note: Fomortiis is a character from the Fire emblem series, more specifically he's the final boss of Fire Emblem: The sacred stones…)
"He's not even-!" before Shinpachi could finish he heard the door open
"Sorry I'm late Ms. Otose, something happened in beacon that prevented me from comi-" But whatever the person was about to say was caught in its throat as their vison focused on Jaune
"JAUNE!"
"BLAKE!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
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AN: Oh shit! It's barely the second chapter and Jaune already encountered one of his old acquaintances from bacon… Shit I mean Beacon! Anyways… First off, I didn't like the flashback segment to be honest, but I couldn't come up with anything at the time so I just said fuck it and wrote it in, if you think it was shit then I'll go revisit it in the future and see if I can replace it. I don't really know why but I want a RWBY reaction fic alongside this story and any other Jaunecentric stories I may write in the future but the problem with those is that one: I can't write reaction fics even if it was to save my own life, two: I haven't met anyone that's willing to do it… So yeah If you have experience writing reaction fics and you want to do this then PM me
P.S. If you can guess where these sentences come from then congratulations you now know where the setting of the next story about Jaune is going to be in
EXPLOSION!
STEAL! STEAL! STEAL!
You really are a useless goddess
Well those are all the hints I'm giving you, now if you'll excuse me I need to go play some Persona 5! Ciao~