...

Enough is enough. Mac thought as he turned off lights in his office. While in the hall, he glanced at the door to another office. It was closed and the office was dark. Of course, Lindsay had left two hours ago, saying goodbye and not mentioning he should leave as well, although he knew she wanted to. And the other person who could possibly be present in this certain office was absent for a third day in a row now. Idiot. Mac thought about himself. She wasn't here because he made it that way and yet he was glancing if she was as usual. He headed to the parking lot. He was thinking about recent case, because he couldn't think about anything else. Well, he didn't want to, to be precise. His daily habit for the past few months, when he wanted to make his mind take a break from the work and actually relax, was to think about Jo. What she was saying during the day and how she was saying it. What she was wearing. About what she was joking, how she was smiling… At the end of the day his mind was putting all those little images of her together and then playing this slide show over and over again in his head until he finally fell into a shallow sleep. If he was able to dream during such slumber he was sure he would be dreaming about her.

But today there was no use. Even single thought about her was making him furious. With every single hour without her in the lab he was getting more and more aware of that suspending her was the perfect way to punish not her, but himself. And the rest of the team at the same time as it was difficult for them to bear with him those few days. He was snapping without any reason and yelled at everyone at least every hour. He saw how they were tiptoeing around him and counting days until Jo would be back. Two more days to go now. He thought.

Suddenly it occurred to him that he might be wrong. What if Jo actually wouldn't be coming back? She was pretty pissed off when she left after their argument and she hadn't spoken to him since then. He hadn't got single message from her and that probably meant she was still mad at him. In that case it wouldn't be that easy taking into account how stubborn and proud she was. Mac smirked at the thought but was quickly put back into gloomy mood as it struck him it probably wouldn't do without apologies. He shuddered at the thought as it was obvious that simple ''I'm sorry'' wouldn't satisfy her and it would be necessary for him to explain why he had reacted like that. I'm totally fucked. He thought, stopping at a red light and resting his head on the steering wheel.

...

Next morning he was determined to at least try to talk to Jo and apologize. It could make things between them better, as it was almost impossible to make them worse at that point. He was going to the lab on the afternoon shift, so it was the only chance for him to see her in the morning. Just about 10 am he parked in front of the block of flats where Jo lived and headed for her door. He rang the bell twice and waited. He fought the urge to actually run away and composed himself, repeating in his mind all things he wanted to tell her. The only problem was there was no one who would open the door for him. He pushed the bell again, longer this time and thought that maybe she was asleep. That wouldn't be good for him as she was all grumpy and moody when she was sleepy, as he had knew from few times when he had to call her to the case in the middle of the night. He chuckled at the thought, remembering how much fuss she was making because of that and how adorable she was in it. He sighed and left the door as it was obvious there was no one in. Or no one who would open it for me. He frowned at the thought, trying to figure out how he could possibly check which version was right. He sat on the stairs leading to next floor and waited.

After some time, maybe half an hour, he heard some footsteps. His heart jumped but was quickly calmed down by his mind. It was clearly sound of heels clicking against the marble floor, so it couldn't be Jo. He lifted his head, thinking of what he might say to this woman when she would ask him what he was doing here and he found Jo's hazel eyes staring directly at him. She was wearing navy blue dress with white belt on her waist and several different necklaces with seashell, anchor, rudder and little blue fish. Her shoulders were bare and had a nice gold glow. With her hair pulled into short ponytail she looked like she was on vacation at the seaside, not like in the middle of the city. With one hand she was holding a shopping bag which was gracefully based on her hip for support. She turned and opened the door to her apartment. He didn't move since he had seen her, mesmerized by the sight. Her voice brought him back to reality:

"You're gonna sit there whole day long or you gonna come in?" She said not looking at him. She left the door open for him and disappeared inside the apartment. He stood up and followed her. She was in the kitchen, unpacking groceries.

"Jo…" he started. "You look good."

She glanced at him and smirked.

"And you thought I would be looking miserable, mourning the lack of work?" She turned over to face him and before he was able to respond she added: "I've got life outside this damn lab, you know."

Her words hurt him like she was sticking a pin. It was obvious she was referring to him. But this "damn" made him think she was still angry at him and staying home was nothing but simple for her.

"I have no doubt about it." He stated coldly. "Jo, I want to apologize. I might overreacted and…"

"You might overreacted?" She raised her eyebrow and he sighed. Yeah, she won't make it any easier for me.

"OK, I did overreacted. But you must understand why." He had her full attention now. She was standing at the other end of the kitchen, leaning on the counter. "I'm not only a boss for my team. I feel… responsible for everyone who is working for me. For you too."

"I'm a big girl, Mac." She smiled gently. "I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"That's not the point." He said, coming closer to her. "It's not like I think I know better, it's…"

"I think that's exactly what it is about." She interrupted. "And I'm kinda fed up with this. It's not the first time, you know?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, searching his memory to find any other moment when he could possibly give her the feeling that she was incompetent at what she did.

"I guess it is the guy thing. If you have the opportunity to show your power, you just do it. It was the same with Russ. He would like to have everything under his control. No matter if it was about which cereal I was going to eat for my breakfast or what my surname after the marriage should be. But now I'm over it and I decide for myself."

"No, no." He shocked her head. She shot him angry glare, thinking he was about to tell her how silly she was. "I mean, you get the whole idea wrong. I wasn't about to dictate you how you should do your job. I was just…" He sighed again. Here comes the hardest part. "…going mad at the thought something could happen to you."

Jo's features had soften at his statement, although she was still reading him in order to decide if he was telling the truth or he was just playing with her. But it was Mac, most honest guy she had ever met. She smiled slightly.

"Mac. Nothing could happen to me there."

"Well, maybe I had got the wrong image of that, but you could imagine how it sounded: Jo is standing on the edge of a roof, as close to the criminal as possible, trying to convince him not to commit suicide."

She chuckled.

"I don't know who is bigger croaker then, you or Flack. It wasn't that bad."

"It seemed like that to me. That's why I freaked out. I can't stand when someone I care for happens to get hurt. I guess I've just been there too many times already." He was trying to push those images away but there was no use. He saw the image of a plane crushes into the WTC towers, then Aiden's dead body found in a car, unconscious Stella lying on a floor of her own apartment, Danny bleeding all over a bar's floor… He closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't see Jo lying motionless on a pavement in front of a high building, as he had seen it that day when they had the argument.

"Mac." Jo whisper closely to him, dragging him out of those horrible visions. He felt her hand on his cheek and opened his eyes. She was standing right in front of him. Her eyes were fixed on him as he looked directly in them. And suddenly everything was so peaceful and blissful again.

"I could not bear losing you, Jo." He moved his head, pressing his lips to her inner palm. "You're like beam of sunlight to me when everything around me is dark and gloomy."

She smiled and lowered his hand, much to his regret.

"OK, I promise to think twice, before I stand on a roof's edge again." She said, trying to be serious, but corners of her mouth raised softly.

"Good. Just imagine how you would feel if Ellie or Tyler would be doing that. That was exactly how I felt about you standing there." He joked as she turned away, starting a coffee maker.

"Well, it's kinda over the top, don't you think?" She laughed. "They are my kids and I love them with my whole heart so it is obvious I am a little bit overprotective with them." She continued, trying to figure out what to press next in order to make this delicious milk foam on a top of her latte. "But with you it's different. You are my boss, my co-worker, my good friend, but…" Somehow alarmed by his silence she turned to face him. His look shocked her. It was like looking in the eyes of the criminal caught in the act. Like she was holding a gun, pointed at him, and she had just pulled a trigger. His eyes were winded and there was fear in them like he was aware that there is no chance to escape, because bullet was going to hit his heart for a split second. She gasped as suddenly everything was clear to her. It was like the last piece of puzzle – she put it in and finally she saw the whole image. She knows! He thought, being aware that his face expression betrayed him. Suddenly he felt so embarrassed. He knew what would happen next. She would put her hand on his cheek again and with a sad smile she would say: "Darlin', you've really thought that you and me…" He shuddered, pushing away her hand which wasn't even there. And then he did the only thing he could at that point. He turned on his heel and stormed out of her apartment, making her unable to stop him.

...

A/N Thank you very much for all nice reviews. I hope that it wasn't very hard to read because of the language mistakes (which reminds me – if you see some, please don't hesitate to let me know – I'm still learning and in fact treat writing also like a language practising exercise, so I will be very grateful for pointing out my mistakes, not to mention the chance to correct them).