What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?

Listen to Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson while reading this like I did. Enjoy.

xoxo —ei

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1: Past, Present, and Future

EPOV:

"Are you ready Edward?" Alice called softly.

I nodded stiffly. "Where are we going?" I croaked, wincing at the sound of my discordant voice.

"Carlisle wants it to be a surprise. He and Esme thought we'd like it. They haven't told any of us." She smiled kindly at me. I nodded again. "Come on." She took my arm and led me out of the room. She let go of my arm when we down in the garage and started to skip around, animated by dainty excitement. "Aren't you excited?"

"Yay," said Rose and Jasper in a monotone. Alice smacked Jasper lightly on his arm.

"Hey! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is…wrong with it, Alice." He tried to soothe her, throwing me a wary glance.

Emmett sniggered, "You're whipped, Jasper."

"Excuse me?" Jasper demanded through clenched teeth.

"I said, 'you're whipped.' I mean, come on." Em rolled his eyes. "Do you have to agree everything your wife says?" Emmett scoffed.

Rosalie turned toward him, her smooth blond hair standing on end. "I beg your pardon but what exactly do mean by that, Emmett?" Her voice had reached a snarl by the end of her question.

"Who's 'whipped' now dear brother?" I smiled lightly, welcoming the comic relief that was my family.

"You're hilarious, Edward. Just you wait until you find someone again and then we'll see," Emmett said with a smirk.

I paled.

Silence descended upon us; Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers as he tried to keep from smacking Emmett. Rose did it for him.

"Ow! Rose!"

"Emmett!" Alice shouted in her angry treble. "How can you be such an idiot?"

"Sorry, it's a reflex." He muttered, and sent me a mental apology.

Esme anxiously trained her eyes on me, her thoughts worried. "Edward?"

"Alright, everyone. We'd best be off." Carlisle said calmly, breaking the impending brawl, by separating Jasper and Emmett kindly but firmly, although sparing Emmett a deeply disappointed expression.

Esme turned to me and stroked my face and hair. "Edward, are you alright?"

My breath caught and came out very uneven. She wrapped her arms around my shoulder and kissed my forehead affectionately.

"I don't know – I've been living this life for scores of years. You all have someone, Esme. Someone to call his or her own; someone to love, to hold, to touch, to need." My tone became dour and I spat the last words out bitterly. "I did too, for a while. And I didn't a choice but to leave."

"You could have stayed," She reminded me.

"And let her die at my hands? There wasn't a feasible alternative. I am the greater lover," I told her emphatically. "I could walk away even if it hurt me all the more. But as long as she was safe."

She sighed. "I know, but..." And then so softly, I wondered if I had imagined it. "Was it worth this?" Either way, I ignored it.

"But what Emmett said today made me finally realize that I would be alone for the rest of my existence."

"No," She whispered, her eyes tortured. "Edward, look at me. You will find someone. It isn't like picking an apple from a tree or getting an points on a test. It is something that comes naturally and eventually for everyone."

"…True love only happens once. And it's over for me. That's it for me, Esme. That was my chance. And I blew it. I can only hope that she doesn't despise for lying so terribly. And now, I just feel so out of place here. Everyone has something special with each other. You all have your significant other – the yin to your yang; you're whole. Someone to hold in his or her arms. Someone to love you. I thought it would be the same of me, but now I now: I have no one. I am destined to roam the world alone for all of eternity. Look at me. Broken in half."

"Edward, that's not true," She said severely. "There will be someone to accept you; you just have to keep an open heart."

"She was and is everything to me, mother. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. My life would have been pointless – I would have continued to exist without meaning, thinking that this was all there is to life. I know what my purpose is – it was to love her! I'll do this for her; even at this cost to myself."

"Edward – your heart, your soul, you're losing yourself in your misery."

"I lost my heart to her. My soul was already lost," I said simply.

"That's where you're wrong, Edward. I don't know when you'll find your soul mate, Edward, but remember, people aren't meant to go through life alone."

"That might be true, Esme, but you have to remember, we aren't people."

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Emmett and Rose were in their cars separately. Carlisle drove my Volvo because Esme had commandeered his Mercedes. I hadn't driven my Volvo or my Vanquish in over a decade. I refused to let anyone else in it in fear that eventually her still-lingering scent would fade. I didn't want to let go.

I went with Jasper and Alice. As soon as I got in, I keeled over and lay across the backseat, curling into myself. My mind blanked out and my family's though blended in a soporific blather.

After half a day of drag racing on highways, I raised my head to blearily ask Alice where we were going.

"We're almost there, Edward. Half an hour now. Why don't you rest a bit more?"

For some reason everyone seemed to be thinking about the derivatives of many-layered polynomials in increasingly foreign and exotic languages. Well, except Emmett. He was thinking about Rose.

In no time at all we were dwindling to residential speed. And then we stopped. I jerked forward, my face pressing against the back of the seat in front of me as the car rolled to a stop.

"We're here," Emmett announced.

"Congratulations, Captain Obvious," grumbled Jasper.

I stepped out of the car out and moved toward the house in the distance, feeling eyes on me.

"Variety of wildlife, typically rainy, rarely sunny, wolves may pose a threat," I caught a few words of what Carlisle was telling the others as they proceeded inside, Emmett and Jasper bringing in the luggage.

Edward your room is second left.

I opened the door and slumped on to the back leather couch that was already there, and looked out across the backyard in to the forest beyond.

There was a split moment when Alice sighed.

I flew down the stairs in a fury to face the guilty eyes of my family, staring anywhere but at me.

"HOW DARE YOU?" I bellowed. "WAS THIS THE ONLY PLACE YOU COULD FIND? AND WHILE KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

"Edward, please," Esme face turned an ugly pasty color as her smile slid off her face. "Alice had a vision."

"I don't care!" I hissed.

"You were...happy," She pleaded.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?" I shouted at Alice. Her façade was heart breaking but it held no effect on me. Jasper sent me a reproachful stare and attempted to calm everyone down while sparks flew from my eyes.

Rosalie moved so fast that for once I was not fast enough - not noticing the movement until I felt her hand whip across my cheek, with a sharp sting.

"SHUT UP!" She snarled, her bosom heaving with anger. "We all know what happened here, alright? We did this for you!" Everyone was staring at her. "And remember this, Edward," Her voice grew dangerously quiet with a silky, menacing edge. "You left Bella! You told her that you didn't love her. And she took your word for it and tried to move on."

"Rose," Carlisle tried to shush her but she shook free.

"Get your hands off me, Carlisle!" Her eyes glowed demonically. He let go and backed respectfully away. I marveled how, amid all this, she still managed to look as beautiful as she did.

She trained her tawny eyes back on me; they were narrowed in disdain. "Do you think, for an instant, that because Alice hasn't told you anything about Bella all these years was because she hasn't had any visions? Oh no!" She let out a mirthless laugh. "Alice, being the good little girl she is—"

Emmett snorted.

"—Didn't want to make things harder for you! She hid the visions from you. And the rest of us tried our hardest not to bring Bella up." I flinched at the sound of her name. "So shut up and face your life like a man, Edward! For once! All you've done for about a quarter of a century is curl up into the fetal position and whine like a fucking pansy." She glared at me. "You're not a man, so we're staying here forever if we need to. You need to come to terms with this place and grow a pair!"

I held her gaze but I knew she was right. I backed away from her, the misery simpering back into my mind like a heavy fog.

"Rose," Groaned Jasper, rubbing his forehead in frustration as the fog enveloped him too.

"Too harsh?" Emmett asked.

"Alice just sighed some more.

With Rose, looking before leaping was common practice. And so was the regret and guilt she felt afterwards.

"Edward, I'm sorry," She pleaded.

I didn't answer.

I've never seen any vampire look so fragile, she thought to herself.

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