Guys... I'm still alive...

Unfortunately there are no words existing in the human vocabulary to describe how guilty and sorry I am for being unable to update my fanfictions for so long, every time. I know I'm going to get hit if I start making excuses, but I must tell you that I have been extremely busy that I barely had time to open up a new document and start typing out new chapters. But recently I've been able to stay up a little later every day to work on bits and bits of each story; The Price of Living is coming along as well as Useless Feels, but I honestly won't blame you if you stop reading because of updates as slow as the continental drifts. If you are that amazingly patient, or if you decide to stop by after a while to casually browse through and stumble across these stories and read them, then I am forever grateful to all you wonderful people.

Now, enough of me crying and blubbering; please enjoy this fresh chapter! :)

Each step they took was like an agonizing torture that coursed through Kakuzu's body as they made their way forward, painfully slow. The rain was by no means lessening, and tremendous lightning crackled above their heads. There was only one other time throughout his whole life that Kakuzu remembered himself to be this weak. He bitterly recalled his battle with Hashirama Senju of the Hidden Leaf, all those years ago. No matter how much they tried sugar-coating it, in the end it had only been a suicide mission. Yet, he had still managed to survive. Several decades later, this was how he found himself. Trying to crawl desperately back to non-existent safety like a wet, injured dog, dragging his tattered bone along in a foolish attempt to save it. The wind howled furiously in his ears, and the trees were whipped back from the pure raging force that refrained him from moving onward.

Unlike his former partner, Hidan seemed to pass out with every ten steps that they took. No matter how many times he had boasted about his immortality in the past, Kakuzu knew the only reason he was even half-standing in the first place came purely from numbness, and no real energy. He practically had Hidan draped over his shoulders, his sewn up wounds beginning to seep out what little blood his heart had managed to recreate in the past half hour. Every once in a while he would mumble something incoherent, but apparently it didn't matter to the Jashinist that he wasn't getting any replies from the older man. He seemed locked up in his own world of half-consciousness, unaware of the chaos that surrounded him.

Kakuzu readjusted Hidan's arms around himself once more, and let out a frustrated hiss. His could no longer feel his entire upper half of his body, and it felt like he was walking on broken glass with each step. Hair and water streamed into his eyes and no matter how many times he shook them out, they would stubbornly fall back, blinding what little vision he had in the first place. They were still several miles away from the main road, and were following an old trail that wove through parts of the lesser woods. Unfortunately it was hard to tell exactly where they were; thanks to the downpour it was hard to see more than fifteen yards ahead. Muddy water sloshed and swirled up to their ankles, and it was hard to keep a firm grip on his partner's slippery skin. Hidan let out a tired groan when Kakuzu gave a particularly rough pull, and halted. Kakuzu had no choice but to stop with him.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said warningly.

"N-no more…" The Jashinist shifted his entire weight onto the older man's body, and his head lolled onto Kakuzu's shoulder tiredly.

"We need to keep going," Kakuzu said as impassively as he could, but he couldn't help keep his own exhaustion out of his voice. He quickly caught the Jashinist when his grip loosened and he began to slip down.

"Phuckin' can't," rasped Hidan, taking in huge, rattling breaths. "Jus'… kill me."

"You know I can't do that," Kakuzu replied, almost tripping himself as he gathered up the man so that he was back in his half-standing, half-hanging position again. His voice was barely audible over the storm. "We're nearly there." To where, Kakuzu did not know.

"Don' lie, you phuckin' piece o' shut—" Hidan paused as he doubled over when retching coughs wracked his body. "Go, leave m'alone!"

Kakuzu promptly ignored him, and yanked the Jashinist along despite his complaints. He held on to the tiny ray of hope that was they'd eventually come across some habitable town or place, or at least some form of shelter that would give protection from this cursed weather. His muscles screamed in agony as he urged the half-conscious immortal forward, the man seeming to get heavier by the minute. Hidan made a noise of frustration and began to push Kakuzu away. The two of them struggled with each other for a minute or two, until Kakuzu's knees decided to give in from sheer exhaustion and the pair went tumbling to the ground. Mud flew everywhere and flooded their eyes, nose, and mouths. Coughing and choking, Kakuzu tried to lift himself up but found that he could barely muster up enough strength to form a fist. His lungs were burning and throat parched raw, and so he just lay there collapsed on his stomach, eyelids threatening to close any minute.

He felt miserable beyond belief. He'd never felt so weak and pathetic in his life and that was saying something, considering his failure with that impossible suicide mission a long time ago. He'd never known that one's body could be pushed to such extreme limits. He looked over to where the stitched up Jashinist was sprawled out motionless and wanted to scream with frustration. He'd managed to come this far, and this was their wretched ending for them. Despite all the glorious battles he had been in, he was going to be found dead a week or two later on a deserted trail with vultures feasting on his rotted flesh. It was so unfair.

The world was so unfair.

But then again, Kakuzu thought vaguely, as his consciousness was blissfully slipping from him; maybe he'd deserved it some way. Perhaps there had been just some of those times in his life, and this was his punishment. Whatever he had done to concoct such a pathetic ending for himself, he began to recognize it as a merciful way out, his pain and exhaustion effectively being cut off and he'd be free, once more.

From the very corner of his rapidly fading vision, he thought he saw a single, glowing orb of light. It bobbed up and down like a firefly, and he faintly wondered if it would be the glimpse of the first doorways of Hell. After all, he did say he'd be fine as long as he had his money…

~*o*~

"I can't believe… I lost to a bunch of kids…"

Just above his limited vision, he could see and hear the crackling shrieks of lightning.

"The next generation will always surpass the previous one. It's one of the never-ending cycles in life."

There was a blinding flash of light, and then everything went dark.

Kakuzu opened his eyes abruptly as the dream ended the same way it had for many nights during his refuge days. He was alarmed at how blurry his sight had gotten, but everything slowly came within focus in time, and was rather bewildered at the fact that what he saw, wasn't Hell at all.

He was staring at what seemed like a rickety, wooden wall that looked as if it had withstood many years of weathering, and he could see a part of a worn dresser to his right. A thin layer of dust was settled over the floor, and the sheets that he lay atop at the current moment smelled faintly of mothballs. The only loud sound he could hear was his own breathing which was picking up pace since he didn't know where he was. Over his head he could see the dim glow of a light bulb which flickered weakly every once in a while. If he listened harder, he could still hear the faint drumming of the rain which had lessened considerably since the last time he was awake. Without thinking, he made to sit up, and regretted it instantly.

Literally almost every inch of his body flared up in searing pain as he tried lifting his arms; Kakuzu scrunched up his face as he waited for the agony to pass. His limbs throbbed mercilessly, and the older man wished he could just black out again. At least then he wouldn't be able to feel anything.

Just then, sudden annoyance washed over him as he realized he was acting like a wimp. He'd survived worse pain than this; he'll live. As the torture died down a little, he quickly took a deep breath and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

All at once, tremendous agony tore through his entire torso and he couldn't help but let out a quiet groan. His head pounded with each heartbeat and his arms were trembling with the effort of keep himself upright. Despite everything, Kakuzu forced himself to stay calm, albeit with great difficulty; as time passed the pain decreased substantially and he was able to make coherent thoughts with his mind once more. He then began to slowly work out the aching knots within his muscles.

Once he was able to turn his head without it feeling like he just got hanged, he was able to get a full view of where he was. Despite all the confusion, he faintly remembered seeing the light just before he passed out in the rain, and wondered if whoever it was had gotten help. Whether it was to aid or arrest them, Kakuzu did not know and did not care at the moment. He looked out the filthy window to his left and saw that it was quite gray outside. There wasn't much in the room that could give away the identity of the house, either. Sighing with frustration, he sat there trying to make sense of everything that happened, and also trying to untangle his dishevelled hair that was surely not going to obey... He might even have to cut it.

Kakuzu had no idea how long he sat there, but as the seconds ticked by, he grew tenser and tenser until he could no longer stay still for another minute. Clutching the wall beside him for support, he dragged himself up onto his feet until he could fully stand. His chakra had barely returned yet and it still hurt to move, and it made him all the more anxious because he'd never been this vulnerable before. However, if he had to engage in battle, he'd be ready.

With determined thoughts in his mind, Kakuzu reached for the kunai he kept in his pocket, and that was when he realized he wasn't in his own clothes anymore. With a start, he took a good look down at himself and realized he was only in a pair of faded black pants that were a bit short and ended near his calves. His previous shirt and cloak were nowhere to be seen and so he cursed inwardly. He now had absolutely no way of defending himself. The masks on his back were long gone, and only the hideous stitches remained. Kakuzu didn't like to recall the day where they had been subsequently destroyed, one by one.

Unfortunately, no one could stay locked up in a dingy old room forever. Taking a few tentative steps forward to test his balance, Kakuzu reached the door and opened it slowly. Its hinges moaned with age and disuse, and the man looked out onto his surroundings.

He was faced with a small living room with two other doors on one side of the wall, and there he could see a small hallway that led off to somewhere else in the house. The place was minimally furnished, and a battered radio was quietly playing on the tea table next to the couch. And in the air, he could smell the warm scent of food wafting down from the narrow hallway. His stomach growled furiously at the reminder of how empty it was. He took another cautious step forward.

Before he had much time to explore, he suddenly heard footsteps coming in his direction. For a moment Kakuzu panicked, and was about to reach for the door behind him again when a figure emerged from the hall carrying the origin of the smell in their hands. To Kakuzu's surprise, it wasn't a threatening individual; an old man with graying white hair and beard, and wrinkles lining his facial features. A pair of glasses sat on his crooked nose, and had a towel precariously wrapped around his neck. Although he seemed weak with age, Kakuzu could see some muscles under the tanned skin. He paused when he saw the stranger staring at him from the doorway.

"Ah, you're awake, I see." The old man set down the covered plates down on the tea table and shut off the radio. They were instantly plunged into silence which the man quickly broke. "Quite a sight you were, lying there looking like you've been dead for a week. You should know not to go outside during these days; the broadcast said it thousands of times."

"Why?" Kakuzu asked, but not after realizing how dumb the question sounded. He wouldn't be surprised if he went brain dead.

"It's dangerous, you see." The old man waved towards the window. "Lots of people die every year from floods, and buildings that come crashing down. Pity, really. Hidden Leaf has some really amazing architecture." He chuckled bitterly.

"Who are you?" Kakuzu asked, not wanting to continue with unnecessary small talk.

"That's what I wanted to ask you," said the old man slowly, raising a brow. "And the thing is, you and your friend obviously don't look like you're ordinary villagers who got caught up in an unfortunate storm."

"I will not answer any questions from you," Kakuzu replied coldly, sending one of his best, chilling glares towards the other.

The man sighed. "The name's Tazuna. I'm just a carpenter from the Mist that came here to help rebuild the village after it was destroyed. I was on my way back from the job when I saw you two."

"Who else lives here?" Kakuzu inquired, still unable to trust him.

"I have a grandson that came with me but he left about a while ago because he wanted to get more workers and help bring over supplies. He won't return for another week or two."

When Kakuzu still eyed Tazuna suspiciously, he threw his hands up in the air and said, "Look, believe me or not, I saw your friend was drowning with his face half buried in the mud—"

Hidan. Kakuzu admonished himself for forgetting about his pathetic wreck of a partner. "Where is he?" Kakuzu cut him off as he remembered the luggage he had with him, and had yet to notice him anywhere.

"I put him in another room; he's kind of… er…" Tazuna made a disgusted face which made Kakuzu cock his head in confusion. He was wordlessly led to one of the two doors and was allowed to step inside, and then he was instantly able to understand what Tazuna was trying to say.

Curled up naked in a fetal position was a deranged figure which was supposed to be the Jashinist. Hidan was shivering lightly and the stitches that held his limbs together were just… awful. Many had fallen out in several places and were seeping out blood along with other fluids that had already soaked the white sheets he lay upon. His hair was still grotesquely unrecognizable due to the soil that had settled in for quite a long time. There were still some places were the flesh was rotten and his entire body was so ghastly pale, it was hard to tell whether he was alive or not. His dull eyes stared, unseeing, at something ahead of him. Kakuzu was horrified at the unexpected scene, and his mind went blank at the atrocity laid out before him.

"What happened to him?" he managed to blurt out after a while. Hidan made no move to acknowledge his voice.

"You tell me," Tazuna said sharply. "How on earth can a person survive like that? It's humanely impossible." They watched the pitiful figure oozing blood for another moment, all the while the Jashinist not moving a muscle. Somewhere far away in Kakuzu's mind, something snapped, like an anchor breaking off of its rope, making the ship float helplessly away into the hazy distance. He suddenly grew livid at the broken immortal scrunched up by his feet.

"He'll die soon," Kakuzu remarked bluntly with no sorrow.

"What are you saying?" Tazuna said, frowning at the sudden statement.

"It's hopeless." Kakuzu was about to turn around, when his arm was caught by a surprisingly strong hand.

"Your friend is lying there, dying. Weak, but still breathing. How can you just walk away when there's still a chance for him to live?"

"He's lived long enough," Kakuzu growled. "I can't help him. Look; that thing doesn't even know who he is anymore."

"Then you help him remember," Tazuna said firmly. "I don't care how pathetic he is to you or how much you say he's useless. I don't care if you're some twisted versions of saints from above or the two cruelest thieves to have ever lived, but no one deserves to die like that."

Kakuzu snatched his arm away. "Shut up," he hissed. "What do you know about him?" He took one last look at the shivering lump and stalked out. He reached his temporary room and slammed the door shut, not caring that it threatened to break off its hinges. With a harsh sigh, he sat down and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes.

He knew he was being foolish; he wouldn't have brought Hidan with him if he knew he was going to just throw him away later. But then what had he expected? For the Jashinist to just put himself back together and run around cursing like a maniac once more? Of course he'd be a total mess. Kakuzu mentally kicked himself for not thinking that through enough. This was probably the first time he'd acted rashly and he had no idea what to do with it. But seeing the Jashinist so helpless and messed up under a clear light, with no rain and thunder to distract him, had unnerved him greatly. Maybe Hidan would be better off in that hole. No, he thought quickly. No one deserves to rot away alive, six feet under, even if that person turned out to be the bane of his existence.

But this was Hidan, another part of him argued. There were no words to describe how much he hated the man. Why the hell would he, Kakuzu, even think of nursing him back to health, when he could barely even contain the thought of his fist making contact with the idiot's face when he punched him?

Damn it, Kakuzu, you dug him up for a reason, he thought to himself angrily. Make up your mind already. Will you help him or not?

...

"I don't care if you're some twisted versions of saints from above or the two cruelest thieves to have ever lived, but no one deserves to die like that."

Was it really true? Could two of the worst criminals ever deserve anything? Even something so simple and natural as dying; would they be able to deserve such release from the real world? Those were the questions that tumbled around in his brain and effectively giving him a migraine, until he heard the door open and Tazuna walked in with a covered plate in his hand. Kakuzu watched warily as he placed it in front of the stitched man and removed the top, revealing a pile of mixed rice and cooked chicken, along with a cup of miso.

"You need your energy," said Tazuna simply when he received a questioning look. "Whoever you are and whatever you do, you can't do it without food." With those words, he got up and left.

It didn't make sense because he'd just lashed out at the old man five minutes ago. Kakuzu would have liked to remain defiant despite it being childish, but his stomach betrayed him with another growl and so he had to dig in, not bothering to check if it was poisoned or not. The feeling of swallowing food was like a heavenly bliss compared to the tiny fish and tree bark he mostly had to live on before. And without knowing it, he had licked the plate clean before he barely had time to register the fact that he was eating.

Inside him, a huge storm of turmoil was raging inside him once more. A small part was relieved that he was able to get food and shelter and not drowning in a river of mud outside; most of his consciousness however, was screaming at him to get a hold of himself, that he was becoming weak and dependant, that he was slowly becoming emulsified into this soft, caring mess that would consequently destroy his entire existence and meaning of life. Deep down inside, he genuinely feared of becoming like his most recent enemies whom he hated the most, of getting sucked into their world of fake smiles and reassurances to cower away from the harsh realities of this world.

Considering those points, the bitter truth was that the Jashinist was his last remaining shard of hope that contained any semblance to his life that he sorely needed.

Compared to them, Kakuzu realized, Hidan was every bit as opposite as a person could be to his enemies. Kakuzu had seen them desperately trying to latch themselves onto hopeless hope that they would fabricate in their minds in times of despair; scrambling to convince themselves that everything was okay, at times when clearly everything was lost. The immortal wasn't like that, no matter how much of an arrogant bastard he turned out to be.

If Hidan was gone, then until he found a similar individual (very unlikely, he mused), Kakuzu didn't know how he would be able to survive in the overwhelming sea of niceties and illusions that would surely drag him down to eventual destruction.

...

With his mind set, Kakuzu arose from his spot once more, and exited his room. He was instantly met with Tazuna who sat on the couch peeling oranges onto a silver tray. The old man looked up at the sound of the door opening and studied the surely daunting figure standing in front of him, yet there were no traces of fear in his face. This was a first for Kakuzu, and for a split second he didn't know what to say or do.

Thankfully, Tazuna spoke first, giving him time to recollect himself. "I hope the food was to your liking," he said casually, looking back down to the oranges. "Although I'm sure you wouldn't have known if I had given you rotten eggs at that point." He chuckled lightly.

"Why are you helping me?" Kakuzu asked rather venomously, still unable to comprehend the fact that anyone would be willing to approach him in the first place, and kind of irked at the notion of someone speaking so lightly to him. "I did not ask for this. I will not be grateful for anything you try to aid me with. I do not plan to repay you in any way. Is there something behind all this?"

"I don't have anything more planned for you," Tazuna said calmly, eyes still transfixed on his orange-peeling. "Help you was my decision to make; I don't expect anything back from you either. But unlike you, I'm not a cruel, heartless bastard who leaves people out in the rain to die."

"I'd care how you speak," Kakuzu snarled, taking a threatening step forward. "Why should I trust you when there could be every conspiracy you are plotting behind my back ready to bite me down?"

"I don't care if you trust me or not," Tazuna snapped, his eyes finally darting back up to meet Kakuzu's. "Maybe you had planned to die out there and I ruined it for you all, but what has happened, happened. Now you can leave, or stay until you decide the best time to do so, but I won't stop you from doing either of them."

Kakuzu glared suspiciously, still unable to fully bring himself to believe the old man. "Where are my clothes?" he asked sourly.

"They're washed and folded up in the dresser in your room. Your belongings are in there as well; I didn't touch them." Tazuna wiped his hands on the towel around his neck. "I couldn't find anything of mine that could fit you. Those were the biggest I had." Kakuzu looked down once again to the ridiculous pants. "Well, son, I've given you food and shelter, along with any other basic needs one must have in order to live. If you can still say I'm trying plotting against you then you have a serious problem."

As much as Kakuzu would've liked to argue with that statement, it was true. No matter how hard he tried to come up with an excuse, there didn't seem to be any flaw in the old man's sincerity, albeit a rather strange one to him. Any other times Kakuzu would've gladly turned down the offer as he still had his pride to keep. However, he was no fool, and right now he needed to get his priorities straight. With a scowl, Kakuzu reluctantly decided to give in for now and let Tazuna help them however he wanted. Though be that as it may, they'd be leaving the moment the both of them were able to walk of two feet. He would not accept any form of having to drag a half-dead person ever again. Also, the minute the old man showed up any signs of betrayal, then he'd kill the man and run for it. He didn't know if he would take Hidan with him or not.

There was no reason for the conversation to go on. Kakuzu quickly turned and studied the place, then opened the door next to the Jashinist's room. Thankfully, it was what he had been looking for; a bathroom. He splashed water onto his face and relieved himself, and quickly brushed out most of the frustrating knots in his hair. If he was going to spend time at this house, then he might as well get used to the place. And he'd do his best to ignore Tazuna, because he just didn't know how to talk to people anymore when he was not planning to kill them. Plus, there was the whole awkwardness of the situation where two former Akatsuki members had been picked up by an old carpenter and were now counting on him to provide the sustenance and shelter. It was hilarious in a way, and infuriating in another. Strange man, Kakuzu had thought multiple times already. If he were any other person, he sure as hell wouldn't think of going through the trouble of moving a stitched up man and a rotting bundle of flesh inside his own house. But who knew; the human mind worked in many odd ways. Kakuzu looked into the mirror and tried to lighten up his expression. It didn't work; his face was set the way it was, an irritated frown. With a small shrug, he stepped outside and avoided eye contact with Tazuna altogether as he made his way around the house.

After all, what was the worst that could happen?

Unfortunately for him, fate already had an answer for that question.

So I am not sure myself of Tazuna's whereabouts during the aftermath of the battle against Pain, but for the sake of this story, please go with the flow. It is AU, after all, so... xD

*NOTE* This story will not start out as one of those light, caring Kakuzu fics. In fact, He will be as caring as Kakuzu can get, because the characters in this fanfic will be kept as much in-character as I can possibly make it without it affecting the whole story (I mean, there's gotta be some OOC, but there will be none that make you go "dafuq~? e.e". I know right now it's quite dark, but it will have a light ending eventually. :)

There will be more Hidan in the next chapter!

Like? Love? Hate? Please tell me what you think; your reviews will be greatly appreciated! :)