Chapter 2: Three Strangers
Two and a half years after his parents double murder, thirteen-year-old Severus Snape, taller and thinner than he'd been at eleven, sat in transfiguration class. At the back of the class, slumped down in his seat, Severus stared at his hands. Long, skeletal fingers. Dead. It was like he was already dead. He felt dead, some days. There was darkness inside him that seemed to grow with each passing day.
A paper with a spectacularly poor mark was set down in front of him. Severus almost smiled at the grade marked in red on the top of his exam before he looked up at Professor McGonagall.
The dark-haired professor could hardly have looked more disapproving with her mouth drawn into a thin line and her eyes narrowed. "You could have done much better, Mister Snape." She shook her head at him before she moved onto another student.
Severus picked up the paper and smirked. He'd known that he'd failed the exam when he'd taken it. He felt the warmth of satisfaction at seeing the mark, though. It almost made him laugh. Grinning, Severus folded the exam in half, then in half again. Over and over he folded it until he couldn't bend the paper anymore and it was nothing but a lump which he dropped into his book bag.
After class, and everyone else filed out, Severus took his time. He ignored his classmates and didn't start getting ready to leave until the room was nearly empty. While it did get him away from the other students, it also meant he had to endure McGonagall's disapproving gaze a few moments longer.
"I just don't understand, Mister Snape."
"There is depth to that statement, professor." Severus stood and gathered his belongings into his book bag.
Her sharp eyes were fixed on him. "I remember your first year. You showed such promise. Your hand was raised for every question. Your marks were the highest in your year. I understand if you lost focus after the deaths of your parents, but surely they'd be disappointed to see how you're failing." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk. "Your intelligence is, without question, very high. Why won't you use it?"
Severus narrowed glared, though McGonagall didn't so much as look away. "I see no point in wasting effort. There is no one left to care."
"A truly laughable excuse, Mister Snape. Obviously, there is one person, at least, who cares a great deal - you. You know the answers. Your homework is impeccable. Your essays are first class - thoughtful and reasoned. There is absolutely no reason for you to constantly fail so astoundingly each and every exam. Why are you doing this?"
Severus looked at his feet and thought furiously. He couldn't tell her the truth - that he failed to get Marcus Prince's attention off him - as she would tell the headmaster and the headmaster would tell Marcus Prince. As homework and essays didn't count toward final marks, Severus had always done well on them just so he would know he was doing well. Students couldn't flunk out of Hogwarts, they simply went on failing until the graduation exam. They graduated if they passed the exam and did not graduate if they failed. While Severus was confident he could keep up his learning well enough to pass that final exam, there were classes he wanted to take that he wouldn't be able to get if he had to continually fail.
"Well, Mister Snape?"
Severus raised his face and met her eyes with as harsh a look as he could. A lie would have been so easy. He had a dozen on the tip of his tongue but even as he opened his mouth to let one roll out, he heard his father's voice. "Don't lie. You're a good boy and good boy's don't lie." Severus swallowed hard before he spoke. "Why I do anything is my business, not yours. If it has taken you two years to understand that witnessing my family's murder has had a less than positive affect on my schoolwork, then I hardly think you need to be bothered with it now. In fact, I find it disturbing that a professor, who is entrusted with my care, has so little concern for me that you would only notice me when it suits you." Severus turned at that and strode out of the classroom before Professor McGonagall could say anything more.
The halls were full of students on their way to this class or that, a sea of black robes. Severus kept his eyes on the toes of his shoes as they peeked out from under his robes with every step instead of looking up at his fellow students. His shoes were too tight. His robe, too short. His bony wrists poked out of the ends of his sleeves. Beneath his robe his white uniform shirt had a fraying collar and cuffs. The repairs could be done easily, but, really, why bother? It wasn't as if anyone cared.
A force hit Severus on the back just as he approached the stairs leading down to the Great Hall. As surely as if a hand had pushed him, Severus toppled forward and fell. He heard himself cry out and felt the pain all over his body. He heard the sharp tinkle of breaking glass as he rolled down the stairs and felt a blinding pain on his forehead when his head rapped against one of the stone stairs.
All the while that he fell, though the world spun around him, Severus could hear everyone laughing.
He stopped rolling at the bottom of the stairs, but the world kept spinning and his head was filled with pain-laced cotton, but he was aware enough to see that those who didn't stop to laugh just walked away. The taste of copper filled his mouth. Severus spat out the blood. As the world stopped spinning Severus saw, at the top of the stairway he'd just fallen down, Black and his cohorts laughing harder than anyone.
"Watch your step," Black called out. "It's a long fall, even if the path down is greased by your hair!"
Tired old insults. Think of something new.
Severus climbed to his feet with his wand out and one hand inside his robe. He barely opened his mouth before Black's next spell hit him and threw him backwards into a wall. He gasped when his breath was knocked from him.
"You look a bit down, Snape." Potter approached slowly, his wand held low, but ready. "Why don't we make you look presentable?" An easy flick and a muttered spell was all it took for the four of them to start bellowing in laughter.
Severus felt his scalp tingle.
The other students who'd gathered to watch the spectacle started sniggering and pointing. It wasn't long before they were laughing, again.
Severus put a hand to his head and pulled a strand of hair down. His hair was bright pink.
Blood trickled down Severus' face, dripping off the end of his nose onto the toe of his shoe.
The laughter was deafening.
Later-
In the Hospital Wing, Severus was ready to run and snarled at Madam Ratian. "I said, you can't have it!" Though sore and bruised, a bloody gnash still open and raw on his forehead, Severus defiantly gripped his cloak around himself, refusing to let it go. He held his book bag tightly against his chest.
"Oh! Really!" Madam Ratian put her hands on her hips and frowned at him, irritably. "You're making a lot of fuss over nothing, Mister Snape."
"And you keep babbling when you should be silent. You ARE a healer, aren't you? Try acting like one and making your patients calm. How anyone can stand your presumptuous, know-it-all attitude is beyond me. You're about as useful as an extra hole in the head." Severus inched backwards towards the door. "If it weren't for Flitwick sending me here, I wouldn't have even come here to suffer under your, supposed, tender mercies. I'd be better off taking care of myself rather than letting you practice your questionable skills on me."
Madam Ratian's face turned nearly purple. "If you've quite finished… "
"I've hardly gotten started! I do not want to be here. I do not believe you can do anything to help me that I can't do myself. As I must be here, I'll be here on my terms and my terms are that I'm keeping my robe on!"
Madam Ratian threw her hands up in the air. "How can I possibly check your injuries if you won't even let me look? That cut on your forehead… "
"Is nothing. Superficial at best, an irritation at worst. I don't need checking. I need to calm down and get ready for my appointment. If you'd make yourself scarce for a while, I'm sure we'd both be happier."
She sniffed and her frown became even more pronounced. "Such a lot of trouble over a prank! Just lay down and rest, at the very least." She turned and flounced away into her office, closing the door behind her.
A prank.
Nothing more than a prank.
Slowly, the tension eased out of Severus's shoulders. He continued to watch the door of Madam Ratian's office for a good few minutes. His fingers unclenched from the manic grip on his book bag. He didn't take his robe off even when he sat down on one of the beds, hunched over, and rested his face in the palm of his hands.
Of course it was just a prank. It was always JUST a prank and everyone got a good laugh out of it. Sitting there, with his pink hair hanging around his face, Severus could hear them. They'd laugh in class the next day. They'd point and stare and everyone would laugh and it would be alright because it was JUST a prank and he was JUST Severus.
A bubbling rage surged from the darkness in Severus, but he pushed it sternly back. It wasn't new. In fact Severus couldn't remember the last time he hadn't felt the simmering anger; anger at Dumbledore for not believing, at his parents for leaving him alone, at his heartless classmates, at his life for turning out as it had. Beneath the anger was hate for his uncle that burned like black fire. Sometimes he felt like the anger and hate was eating him from the inside out.
Severus looked up at the window of the Hospital Wing and stared at falling snowflakes.
How long had it been since he'd smiled?
With a shake of his head, Severus roused himself from his dismal thoughts to move onto more sensible matters. Madam Ratian was correct about his injuries - they did need tending. Severus was perfectly confident that he would be able to take care of himself, but when he opened his robe he saw that many of his supplies - liquids in tiny glass vials and powders in fragile paper envelopes - had been ruined. Severus stared at the inner pockets of his robe and signed. Just another incident of fate spitting in his face.
Letting his robes fall closed, Severus went to the Medical Wing's supply cabinet and found what he needed. He took one glass vial and poured the contends into his palm. The thick, clear slime felt like cold cooking oil more than anything. He closed his eyes before he raised his hand to his head and smeared the potion on his hair. His scalp burned a moment then eased to a dull itch and he knew, without checking, that the pink in his hair faded away leaving nothing but the original black though it was coated in the potion.
When Severus could no longer feel the potion working, he turned his attention to his wounds. In Madam Ratian's supplies he found a fine gray powder in a wide mouthed jar. Severus rubbed the powder into the gnash on his forehead. The pain flared briefly, though powerfully enough to bring tears to his eyes, then faded to nothing.
When it was done and Severus had nothing but irritating aches and pains left, he went back to the bed he'd been given and slipped his robe off, laying it gently on the bed. The pockets he'd sewn into the robe were filled with broken glass and ruined potions.
Severus cocked his head to one side and drummed his fingers along one arm. A simple wave of his wand removed all the glass shards and unsalvageable potions and ingredients. Severus lowered his wand when it was done and stared at his stained robe. A cleaning spell made the stains disappear and yet another spell repaired the few torn pockets. Severus wanted to cry. He could repair the vials, but he had no money to replace the ingredients he would need for new potions.
Mister Hagrid will take me into the Forbidden Forest for ingredients. It's not a problem. It'll just take time to fix this mess. It wouldn't be the first time that Severus helped Hagrid tromp through the Forbidden Forest in search of this or that and Severus was more than willing to make it up to him. He could easily brew Hagrid some oils and salves that were commonly used for the animals. Perhaps Hagrid would need a hand cleaning his hut.
Before long Madam Ratian swept into the hospital ward. She glanced at Severus, sitting on the bed with his book bag and robe on his lap. Her mouth twisted into a sour scowl. "You're fine." Then she turned and went back into her office.
Severus felt another surge of anger, but he bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and until the anger settled to a slow burn.
Dismissed.
After all, he was only Severus.
Severus took a deep breath and pulled his book bag onto his lap. A quick rummage through it and found a letter that could - finally! - free him. It had been delivered only a few nights previously, but Severus took every spare moment he had to read over the meager words. Though he wasn't happy about it, exactly, the letter did give him a sort of grim satisfaction.
TO MISTER SEVERUS SNAPE
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDY
A HEARING IN REGARDS TO YOUR PETITION TO CHANGE YOUR LEGAL STATUS TO EMANCIPATED MINOR. YOUR REQUEST HAS BEEN EVALUATED TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION THE ALLEGATIONS YOU HAVE BROUGHT AGAINST YOUR CURRENT LEGAL GUARDIAN, MISTER MARCUS PRINCE. YOU ARE OBLIGED TO APPEAR AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC IN THREE WEEKS FROM THE DATE THIS LETTER IS DELIVERED.
The letter was signed and dated with the time and place for the hearing. Severus ran the tip of his finger over the date. Perhaps it would do no good. After two years of fighting to get away from his uncle a simple hearing seemed unlikely to help matters, but it was a chance.
He swung his feet up on the bed and lay his head on the pillow, letting his book bag rest on his chest. He had been saved from Marcus Prince during the school year as the man valued Severus' education greatly. He'd made it clear that he would not take Severus away from Hogwarts during the school year, but Dumbledore had told Severus in no uncertain terms that he would spend the summer with his uncle. For the next two summers, Severus had managed to slip away before his uncle could find him at the train station. Somehow, he'd managed to survive for two summers on the streets of London and the surrounding towns. He doubted he could evade his uncle a third time.
"You look odd just laying there."
Severus tucked the letter back into his book bag. "I'm allowed to relax."
"Allowed, maybe, but it's still unnatural."
Severus turned his head to look at Lucius Malfoy, leaning against the door of the Hospital Wing. "Did you want something?"
Malfoy smiled like a crocodile and sauntered to Severus' bedside. "Want some company?"
"Not in particular."
Malfoy laughed and ran a hand through his long hair. "What a sense of humor you have." Malfoy was tall and too good-looking for a fifteen year old. His blonde hair was always perfect and his teeth practically sparkled when he smiled.
"It wasn't a joke. Go away."
Malfoy's main problem, Severus had decided, was that he knew he was good looking. He would have been even more attractive if he weren't so arrogant. Malfoy sat on the bed just next to Severus's and gave him a pitying look. "So, what did they do this time?"
"I can deal with them."
"Just tell me. I can have everything taken care of."
Malfoy having everything 'taken care of' would make Severus look even more like a weak coward than the whole school already thought he was. "Thank you, but no. I can deal with them."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "And you've dealt with them so marvelously for three years now, haven't you? Really. We're housemates. We're supposed to help each other."
"If you want to help, then get me a book from the restricted section of the library."
"Any particular book?"
"Monkshood and Mint." Severus closed his eyes to recall his previous jaunts into the restricted section of the library. "Walk through the door. Turn right. Walk eight paces and stop. You'll see a sign to your left hanging from the ceiling. There are more signs beyond that one, each one pointing to an alphabetized section. Walk down that aisle until you find the 'G' section."
Malfoy frowned. "I thought you wanted 'M' for Monkshood and Mint."
Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "No. 'G' for Tituba Grasslein, the authoress."
"You know, I'm not supposed to go into the restricted section," Malfoy reminded him. "You'll have to make the risk worth it to me."
There was always a price. Severus opened his book bag again and took a piece of parchment along with a his quills. "Is professor Dafoot fond of you?"
"Of course." Malfoy smiled, again. "Everyone's fond of me."
It took a lot to ask a favor from Malfoy. "Then this is payment for the favor. Don't lose it." He took the quill in his right hand, instead of his normal writing hand, and wrote out a permission slip for Malfoy from Professor Dafoot good for two days. "Don't abuse it. Just get my book and bring it back. Look on the fourth shelf up in the 'G' section, twenty-eighth book to the right."
Malfoy nodded and left, his eyes glued on the permission slip and that wicked smile on his lips. "Just a book for this? Snape, you do have a strange sense of value." He left without another word and Severus was grateful for the silence. He hated noise. He really hated noise. Noise meant people and people always meant trouble.
The next visitor came perhaps ten minutes after Malfoy had left. "Mister Snape, how nice to see you looking well. I'd heard there was trouble, but it seems to becoming a habit to find you here." The headmaster was at Severus's side, looking down at him with the saintly eyes of a beloved grandfather.
Severus fought not to lash out. The darkness and anger burned behind his eyes. "Yes, sir."
The headmaster sat on the bed next to Severus and rested his hands on his knees. "How are you feeling?"
"Your four favorites just knocked me into a wall and hexed me to look like a fool in front of just about the entire school. How do you think I'm feeling?" Severus closed his eyes and pulled the blanket up closer to his chin.
The headmaster sigh. "Your uncle contacted me a short while ago. He is still concerned for you."
"He murdered my parents."
"You don't know that."
"I do!" Severus hit his lap with a fist. "I saw it! I saw him… "
"You saw nothing. It is possible that you've made a mistake."
Severus kept his eyes closed and tried to calm his breathing. It didn't work. There had been no mistake. He rolled over to face the wall. "I'm tired. Go away."
Dumbledore put a hand on Severus' shoulder. "It's been proven that Mister Prince had no reason to want to harm your parents. He hadn't even spoke to your mother in years. Sleep would benefit you, Mister Snape." The headmaster went on in his usual airy, half-distracted way. "Tomorrow you will return to your house and to your classes. As you suffered no lasting injuries, there simply isn't any point in taking up a bed here."
Severus squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Why won't you help me? Why won't you listen?
A moment passed before Severus heard the slow, shuffling steps of the headmaster as the man left.
For a long while, Severus lay still with his eyes closed. He'd almost fallen asleep when he heard familiar voices drawing closer. Their laughter, though more subdued than normal, seemed too loud. As the voices drew closer Severus began to sweat. He was in no state to fight. There were a few potions left in his robes and his book bag contained any number of useful things, but any movement, he knew, would attract their attention.
"There he is." Potter's harsh voice was right at the end of the bed Severus lay in. "I knew he'd still be here. Sleeping away, peaceful as you please. He's causing so much trouble for the Prince family. My family's known the Prince's for years. Mister Prince is a close friend of my father's!"
"Well," Black's insidious voice whispered. "Gotta make him pay for the insult, haven't you? Someone's got to teach him manners." The blanket covering Severus was lifted just enough to uncover his bare feet. "Could his feet smell any worse? Go on."
Severus almost winced a the burning on the sole of his left foot. The pain grew steadily until Severus had to fight to keep his face still. They were ready and waiting, probably drooling for Severus to react - to wake up and fight. Severus knew it would be a mistake for him to make even the littlest move. They had their wands at the ready and, he didn't doubt, that they surrounded him. No, he decided. He wouldn't fight. His best chance was to wait it out and strike back at them another time.
When the pain grew to the point that it felt like hot metal pressed against the sole of his foot, Severus forced his mind away from it and onto one of the few stable things in his life: potions. There was a potion he'd been working on, a medicine that would cool any fever, and Severus knew it like he knew his own ugly face. He'd made it so often, though the results had always been disappointing.
One part dried periwinkle.
Two parts crushed oyster shell.
Heat in sheep milk over a low heat.
Stir clock-wise with a pewter ladle for four hours.
Imagining the gently bubbling potion in the copper cauldron helped ease the pain. He could almost imagine he'd been standing for too many hours at a caldron and that his feet were just sore. More than sore. Burning. Shocking, terribly pain, like someone were driving a nail into his foot.
Have to find the periwinkle. Stupid potion won't work without it. Huge school with almost everything one could need, but not so much as a single periwinkle! If he could find just a tiny periwinkle, he'd know if his recipe worked. Of course it will. Theoretically, it's perfect.
The pain inched deeper into his foot, so deeply that Severus had to strain not to move. What were they doing? Had they taken a match to the bottom of his foot or were they simply using a spell? Probably a spell. Neither of those purebloods would even know what a match was.
"He's not moving." Potter sounded disappointed. "Think Madam Ratian gave him something to keep him asleep?"
"Well, she probably had to," Black laughed. "Would you want to be around him when he's awake? He'll feel this when he wakes." A hard slap the sole of Severus' foot caused a bolt of pain to shoot up his leg. The visitors laughed and Severus listened to the footsteps walk away.
Severus waited a few more moments after he heard the last footstep before he moved, just to be certain that the two had really gone. When he finally opened his eyes and found that he was alone he threw off the blanket and sat up. He brought his left foot up to look at it. There was a large, angry looking burn as big around as an acorn with white puss oozing from it on his sole.
Severus didn't bother to call for Madam Ratian. There wasn't anything she could do that he couldn't do himself. For burns, he didn't even have to raid Madam Ratian's supply cabinet. Instead, he reached in his book bag and began searching inside it.
It sometimes amazed Severus that the other students carried only books in theirs. He had the books for all his classes, ink, quills, class assignments, and other such common things for classes. He also had a carefully wrapped turkey sandwich, a rubber ball, as well as a worn coat and a pocket watch that meant more to him than he would ever tell.
At last, he found what he was looking for. A tiny vial, no bigger than a thimble, which held a powerful pain relieving cream. Severus smeared it onto the burn blister, but it stung and itched. Severus wiped off the cream with the blanket and stared hatefully at the blister. Undoubtedly, whatever spell Potter had whispered had been intended to resist pain relievers and healing.
With his burned foot and everything aching, Severus couldn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling most of the day and watched birds and the passing clouds as evening set in. All night, he lay in the darkness, keeping himself awake any way he could, until the dawn broke. The moment he saw light in the sky Severus swung his legs out of bed and pulled on his shoes, doing his best to ignore the pain of the blister. He crept out of the Hospital Wing and managed to get all the way out of the school without being seen until he'd taken a few steps out of the school.
Hagrid, in his rough brown clothes, sat on the steps with his hands cupped on his knees. He smiled when he saw Severus. "Yer up early."
"Good morning, Mister Hagrid."
"Why do ya keep up that 'mister' stuff? I've told ya, ya don have ta."
"Yes, Mister Hagrid." It was the only term of respect that seemed to suit Hagrid.
Hagrid laughed, amused. "Ah! You'll have yer own way about things, now won't you?" He looked closer at Severus. "You've come from the Medical Wing, haven't you? Got that smell on you - her cleaning stuff."
"Disinfectant." Severus sat next to Hagrid. "I've just escaped."
"You'll get yourself hurt if you don't follow Madam Ratian's directions." Hagrid paused to look down at whatever he held in his hand and coo at it. "There, there. Don't get yerself into a tizzy." He stroked whatever it was with the back of his thumb. "Poor thing ain't half hurt." At Severus' curious look, Hagrid leaned over to show him. "Chipmunk. Got himself caught by one of the cats the students keep."
It was a sorry sight, indeed. "It's in pain. Will you kill it?"
"No, no. No reason for that."
"It won't be able to survive like that."
"It'll do just fine. I'll get him healed up in my hut and he can stay there. I'll be able to find plenty of nuts and berries for him to eat. You should know better than to ask me such things." Hagrid grinned brightly and tapped Severus on the top of the head.
Severus leaned over and looked curiously at the furry animal in Hagrid's hands. It was weak and pitiful, but its black beady eyes were bright. "Let him go back to the forest."
"What? He'll die out there. Something bigger than him will eat him."
Severus slowly let his eyes travel up to Hagrid's face. "Let him go. If he's going to die, let him die with some pride."
"Die?" Hagrid's voice stopped Severus. "He's got no reason to die. What put such a thought in yer head? He's hurt, that's all. A little care 'n he'll be right as rain."
"What if you forget him? There won't be anyone to take care of him."
Hagrid's smile dropped away. "I won't forgot him. I promise ya that."
Severus' stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day.
Hagrid shook his head. "Missed yer breakfast, did ya? Well, git to my hut. I've got some chores to get done, but I'll be there shortly and get some food on for ya."
Severus went on ahead and stopped on the stone steps at Hagrid's door. The steps had been cleared of snow (predictable, considering how practical Hagrid was) so Severus sat and pulled his robe closer to him for warmth. As all other groundskeepers before him, Hagrid lived in a comfortable little hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Severus had always liked the hut. It was warm and nicely cluttered with bits and pieces of this and that scattered everywhere. Despite the clutter, it was the most comfortable place at the school.
No more than a half-an-hour later Hagrid lumbered from the school. He laughed when he found Severus sitting on his doorstep. "Didn't have to wait out here in the cold." He set his immense ax on by the door. "You know it's not locked."
"That would hardly be polite," Severus replied. "Don't normal people wait to be invited in?"
Hagrid shrugged and pushed the door open to let Severus in. "I guess. You're welcomed here. You know that, right?"
"Yes, Mister Hagrid." Severus went to his favorite chair, a worn seat by the fireplace that had once been covered in a fine velvet upholstery but had turned threadbare by the time Hagrid had gotten hold of it. Hagrid always seemed to have a fire raging in his fireplace and that was one of the reasons Severus liked the cabin so much. It was always warm.
Hagrid said nothing when Severus curled up in the chair and made himself comfortable. Instead he started with his daily chores and Severus watched him carefully. He'd always liked watching people. Hagrid started his day by checking the fire and put kettle on to boil. He called his dog, Ol' Man, in for his breakfast. "Poor thing don't eat enough. He's gettin' skinny." When Ol' Man settled in with his food Hagrid shook his head at his stout boots and bemoaned the need for new ones.
Like clock-work, Hagrid did the same things almost every morning. It was rare that anything would break his routine and, it seemed to Severus, as Hagrid went about his home watering his potted plants, fussing over Ol' Man, and chopping some kind of meat for a nice breakfast, that Hagrid took as much comfort in the routine as Severus did.
So long as Hagrid stood by his stove chopping ham into little morsels and so long as he hummed that unknown song under his breath as he worked, Severus was fairly certain that the world was spinning as it should.
"You'll be wantin' some milk with yer breakfast?"
"Thank you, sir. Yes." The same question asked every morning just as Hagrid slid the cut meat into a frying pan. Hagrid never seemed to mind that Severus watched him. Everyone else did.
Everyone at Hogwarts knew he was a watcher, but he didn't think any of them knew to what extent. He didn't just follow the Marauders around. He watched everyone. He watched Malfoy lovingly brush his own hair. He watched Evans teach a friend to dance. He watched young professor McGonagall laughing with the Headmaster. Every moment of every day, he watched them from behind the curtain of his hair. In class, at meals, even when they spent the precious few hours of free time they were allowed to play and laugh on the grounds of Hogwarts, Severus watched and tried to learn what normal was.
'Normal' was a thing that had worried him since before his parents had been murdered. He knew he wasn't normal - most everyone told him so - he just didn't understand why. They mocked his clothes, but Lupin was just as poor. They scoffed that he always knew the right answer, but Evans was probably more intelligent that he was. They called him arrogant, but surely Malfoy had him beat with his condescending attitude.
His abhorrent face seemed to be the only answer, the only reason why he wasn't 'normal'. Severus couldn't think of anyone at Hogwarts who came close to being as repulsive as he was. But, even then, why?
There was nothing particularly attractive about Potter's mope of untidy hair, yet it had half the school in a tizzy. He didn't see the appeal in Evan's freckles which many spent nights mooning over. He couldn't see what was so alluring about Black's wicked smile, though apparently everyone else could. There must be something about 'normal' he was failing to see and how could he be normal if he didn't understand it?
Not that he cared what anyone thought of him. Not that he wanted friends.
"You look like yer thinking hard." Hagrid set two plates on the table laden with ham, scrambled eggs, and little triangles of toast. It smelled wonderful, far better than whatever Severus might have gotten in the Great Hall. "Come on, then. I'll not let a guest go hungry."
Severus did as he was told and went to sit at the table, but he hadn't put even one forkful in his mouth before Hagrid spoke.
"You ain't been sleeping well, have ya?"
Severus looked up and frowned. "You aren't supposed to say that."
"Eh?"
"You've never asked that before. Stop it." His good mood would be ruined if Hagrid didn't get back to his routine.
Hagrid gave Severus a funny look. "Yer eyes are all shadowed 'n bloodshot. Yer hands is shaking. You've not been sleepin'."
Severus set the fork onto the plate. "I don't want to talk about this."
"Life's mighty hard, isn't it? What's makin' you lose sleep? Them kids givin' you a hard time again?" Hagrid put down his own fork and crossed his arms on the table in front of him. "You need me to be talking to the headmaster fer ya? He's a good man and… now, why that look?"
"I don't like him." He paused. "Go on. Say it."
"Say what?"
It was enough to make Severus roll his eyes. "Wonderful man the headmaster is," he said in - he thought - a splendid imitation of Hagrid. "Don't say a word against him, I'll not hear it!"
Hagrid shrugged. "Can't force you to like someone. If you don't like him, you don't like him." He took a sip of his tea, but kept looking at Severus over the edge of the cup. "You feeling all right?"
"I'm fine. Madam Ratian has already looked me over."
"You sure about that?"
Severus bristled and drew himself up proudly, squaring his shoulders and raising his chin. "Of course I am. I'm not stupid."
"Never said you were." Hagrid looked at the cheery fire and leaned back in his chair. "You're a right smart lad. I should think a smart boy like yourself would be bright enough to tell a friend when he's hurt. Yer distracted this morning and I saw you limping earlier."
"My foot hurts."
Hagrid gave a thoughtful nod. "You looked like a lame little frog, you did." With his massive fingers, Hagrid picked up another lump of meat and popped it into his mouth like popcorn. "Did you tell Madam Ratian?"
"No." Didn't he spend enough of his time with the woman? "It'll get better on its own."
"Maybe. Maybe not. Here, let's see." Hagrid wiped his hands on his trousers then moved to kneel in front of Severus. "Give it here." He took Severus' foot in hand and slipped off the boot and sock. Hagrid didn't touch the burn but when he finally looked up at Severus, his expression was serious. "I really think you should see Madam Ratian."
"It's only a burn."
Hagrid's bushy eyebrows drew together. "Only?"
"It's not that bad."
Hagrid grunted and pushed himself to his feet. "It's bad enough. Stay here and finish yer breakfast. I'll be back."
"Where are you going?"
"Havin' a word with the madam." He strode out of the hut like a man on a mission.
The hut was quiet without Hagrid and seemed too empty. Without putting his boot back on Severus hobbled to the chair by the fire and, after pulling his book bag onto his lap, sat with his feet propped up on a footrest.
Suddenly, he wasn't alone any longer. There two boys and a girl in the hut dressed more oddly than anyone he'd ever seen. The girl dressed in bright pink that nearly matched her pink hair. One boy with very long, black hair wore a white whose right arm and leg were both entirely wrapped in bandages and completely white eyes. He stood by the door and, after examining Severus for only a moment, turned his attention to the closed door. The last stranger was a boy with a sour expression and a high-collared blue shirt who stood by the far wall. All of them wore similar heavy cloaks and identical toe-less boots.
Severus had never seen them before, he was certain. Severus sat up straighter and licked his lips. "What are you doing here?"
Ol' Man gave a low, menacing growl and stood with a lowered head and its teeth bared. He lashed his tail back and forth, warily eyeing the intruders, until Severus absently reached down and touched the dog's head. "Hush, Ol' Man. Hush. You'd better go. He doesn't like strangers."
"We came to see you." The pink haired girl smiled sweetly and walked closer with a light step. "Are you planning to go away for the holiday?"
"For Christmas break? No. I'll stay here." Severus pulled on his boot, ignoring the pain as best as he could. "Why? Who are you?" While he spoke, Severus kept looking around at all the strangers.
The girl sat in a chair opposite of Severus, in the chair Hagrid normally used, and crossed one leg over the other. "We aren't here to hurt you so you can stop looking so bleak." The girl laughed. "There's nothing to worry about. You can call me Sakura."
Severus' eyes darted again to the boy at the door. They were dangerous. Despite the girl's cheery smile and the two boy's quiet attitudes, they were dangerous. He desperately wished Hagrid would return. He didn't like strangers. It made him nervous just being in the same room with people he didn't know. For all he knew, they could be anyone using Polyjuice.
Severus eyed the blind boy who reeked of arrogance. Dignity and pride dripped from him. The way he stood, the lift of his chin, it all reminded Severus a little too much of Malfoy. If the hair had been blonde instead of black and the boy's skin ivory instead of copper, Severus might have thought he'd found Malfoy's twin. It was the eyes, however, that were the strangest thing. He must have been blind, but it seemed that when he looked at Severus, he looked right through him.
"That's Neji," Sakura said. "He'll tell us if anyone's coming to interrupt our little conversation."
"You don't have to tell him everything," The boy by the wall muttered, irritably.
"It's only good manners. Lies are useless and unproductive at this stage." The smile never left Sakura's face. "That grump is Sasuke, in case you're wondering. They're friends of mine. And what's your name?"
"Severus Snape. Does Mister Hagrid know you're here?"
"No. We need you, Snape-san. You see… "
"Incoming," Neji said.
Sakura frowned. "Out, then."
The two boys were engulfed in smoke and when it cleared, Severus was stunned to see that they'd vanished.
The girl put both hands behind her back when she stood and beamed at Severus. She stepped closer and held a finger against her lips and with that one movement, Severus was impressed. He'd never met a girl with such muscular arms. In a wrestling match between her and Potter, Severus would have bet on the girl. "Don't breathe a word about us. It's a secret." Then she, like the boys had, vanished in a cloud of smoke.
When the smoke faded, Severus and Ol' Man were alone in the hut.
Ol' Man turned his big head to Severus and whined.
"Don't ask me," Severus said. "I haven't any idea what's going on."
The door was flung open without so much as a single knock.
Ol' Man was on his feet at once growling menacingly. He lowered his head and inched closer to the boys until he stood between them and Severus.
"Well, what have we here? Snively, did you come by to harass Hagrid? Or was he the only one who could stand to be near you? You sure smell like an animal." Black stomped gracelessly into the little house and glanced at the table. "Oh, breakfast? Too good to eat with us commoners, are you?"
Severus felt his whole body tense. The only comfort he had was that Ol' Man would fight for him and if they dared to hurt Hagrid's beloved pet Severus would definitely be forgiven for anything he did to protect the dog. "If you're so bored, why don't you go play with the whooping willow? It's great fun. Better still, go tease Malfoy about his hair." Damned prima donna and his damned pretty hair… "Do tell me when and where you'll do it, though. I'd give my left foot to see that."
"You know, you're not one to be teasing other people about their hair. At least Malfoy keeps his washed. I think I'll tell Hagrid you're lurking around eating all his food." Black paused for just a moment when Pettigrew and Potter walked in behind him. "I don't think he'd appreciate you dripping your grease everywhere."
"I was invited here, unlike some trespassers," Severus answered. "I'll have to tell Mister Hagrid he should set up some security spells to keep unwanted mongrels out of his home. At least Ol' Man only drools and bites. Merlin only knows what some mutts would do when let loose in a person's home. Soil the carpet, most likely."
The front door open again and Hagrid walked in. He frowned at the new visitors. "And what would you lot be doing here? Don't recall having given out invitations to breakfast. Off with you now before you get yourselves into mischief."
"We were just coming for a visit, Hagrid." Potter said, charmingly. "We haven't seen much of you lately and thought you might be lonely. I can see we were wrong. We'll just head back and let you get on with whatever you were doing. Come on, Siri. Pete." They left without another word, only a few looks promising that they would find Severus later.
Hagrid stood at the door and watched the three of them go. After a moment, he closed the door with a shrug. "Isn't that odd? They haven't come visiting since their first year and then they were only curious, like all the little ones are. Well, never mind. I've got something from Madam Ratian that should clear up that burn on your foot. She said this should clear it up just fine, but wanted me to give you a talkin' to about skipping out when she's not looking. She wanted to give you another once over. Here, what's that look for?"
Severus looked at the door and knew the strangers must have left that way. The smoke must have been nothing more than a distraction. Still, he was almost certain they hadn't used the door.
"Lad?" Hagrid-san asked. "Is there something wrong?"
"Do you have a backdoor?"
Hagrid laughed. "You've been visiting me for three years, right since that first day of your first year. You know I've only got one door."
Severus did know. He also knew that the windows were tightly shut against the winter and that if one had been opened - either physically or with a spell - he should have heard it. He was almost certain he hadn't imagined it. Severus thought about telling Hagrid of the visitors, but reasoned that they weren't interested in Hagrid even though they'd invaded his home. They'd only asked about Severus and had only appeared when Hagrid had left the hut. The moment someone else came close to the hut, they ran away. Obviously, this was his problem and not something he should bother Hagrid about.
"Now, get your foot up on the stool. Why did you put that boot back on? You'll do yourself no favors if you don't rest yourself. Madam Ratian said you could skip classes if it's bothering you too much."
And let someone get ahead of him in class? Not likely. Severus knew he didn't have much to be proud of in life anymore, so he wasn't about to give up the one thing he was proud of. He deliberately failed his exams to show Uncle Marcus that he was worthless, but he wouldn't give up learning. "I'll be fine. I don't think that'll work, though."
"No?"
Severus snorted. "Madam Ratian keeps outdated salves. I've already tried my own mix on the wound and it didn't work. In fact, it hurt more. It'll just have to heal on its own."
"Well, there you are!" Hagrid said, cheerfully. "Of course it hurt. Gotta hurt to know it's working."
Severus scowled and jerked his foot away from Hagrid's hand. "Your logic is flawed. I don't want it."
Hagrid sighed and sat back on his haunches. "What can I do, lad? I want to help."
Severus lowered his eyes. Hagrid would never understand how much he did help, not in healing a petty blister, but in everything. He shook his head. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Never mind. I should go to class."
"You haven't eaten, yet. You love eggs."
"I'm not really that hungry. Thank you." Severus left Hagrid's home feeling warm inside. He couldn't explain to Hagrid how much the man's kindness meant. He wanted to, but he just couldn't seem to find the words. Severus stood a moment on the top step outside Hagrid's door. The snow had begun falling, again. He held a hand out before him and caught a few flakes. Severus knew his pop would have loved it. The fire would have been crackling at home. Severus could imagine his ma knitting by the fire when his pop would have pulled her to her feet for a dance in the firelight. He could almost hear their laughter.
Severus let his hand fall.
There was no laughter.
He took a deep breath of cold air and began walking back to the school. He hadn't gone more than ten yards before a hand touched his elbow.
"Hi."
Severus spun sharply around and slipped into the folds of his dark robes. It was the girl and the two boys from earlier. "You again?"
"Yup. Me, again."
Severus took a step backwards. The three of them were watching him. He wasn't used to such scrutiny and it unnerved him. He faced the pink haired girl who did all the talking. "What do you want?"
"You. It's time to go on a little trip."
Severus felt his stomach lurch. He looked behind him and wished Hagrid would come out to look for him.
"He won't come," Neji said.
Severus nearly screamed when he looked at the boy and saw the most horrible sight. Neji's white eyes were filled with a circle of pale gray. Around the boy's eyes pulsed swollen veins. He stared intently at Hagrid's hut. "That man is clearing away the dishes from your breakfast. He paused to pat his dog. Now he's started to mop up slush that you and those other boys tracked into his home." The veins faded away and the eyes became pure white, again. He focused on Severus instead of the hut. "You see? It's no good. You will come with us."
Severus tightened his hand on the strap of his book bag. "I really haven't the time. Excuse me, I'm late for class."
Sakura shook her head. "I'm sorry, but you have no choice." She moved faster than Severus had ever seen anyone move and grabbed his shoulders. She yanked him hard enough to pull him off his feet. One of the boys grabbed him and someone touched his back.
The world went dark.
To be continued…