Authors Notes:

OMG another chapter. I got several really nice reviews on this site and on DA already so I decided to see if my whim was still there. Yep still there. This ones longer and sillier though. I actually read through this one before posting, HOPING to reduce the number of spelling errors and gammar errors, of course I'm still sure theres many of them. I've had several people already ask if and when the lemons will come...oh oh wouldn't you like to know? No, if I continue this there will be a lemons in the future, however *tee he* you will have to wade through the lame plot to reach them. And I will give no indication of where they will be hidden in either my author notes or my titles, yes you will HAVE to wade through my crappy story to find them.

This chapters got some vocab in it, none of which can not be explained through googling the term. (So if you get confused google it!)

EDIT: I guess you can't post links in these...sigh just google Cheza wolfs rain and you'll see what she looks like. Oh and because my description skills are poor for those of you who are trying to mentally picture what her eyes look like (yep still haven't given you her name, next chapter maybe?) her eyes look pure red look like Cheza off of wolfs rain (I know aren't I terribly original?) Although thats the only part her that looks like Cheza,If you are going to compare her to any of the other characters on that show the only one that comes close is Hamona or Jaguara.

Oh yes and the title is a epic foreshadowing maneuver!

Horses Can Kick Hard

A drop of sweat was slowly dripping past the lords face. This was not going well at all, the Uchiha were perhaps even worst than the Senju. "Oh but I can offer you so much more than just shiny gold!" The lord proclaimed. One of the elders on the Uchiha council arched a brow and said "Well lets hear what supposed treasures you can offer us." "Oh but I can give you land, food, live stock women and slaves!" The lord said regaining some of his overly proud aura. All the men on the Uchiha council already knew that they wouldn't accept and that they were merely hearing the lord out.

It was not that the offer was so bad, especially seeing how the other clan they would be facing would be quite a easy fight; but these decisions ultimately came down to Madara. The lord had made yet another mistake in thinking that the oldest of the Uchiha council was in charge, but in fact it was the one he probably payed the least amount of attention to, it was Madara who would decide the lords fate. Very few people knew this young man, no older than 21, had no only taken control but already had complete loyalty from his clan as their leader.

The Uchiha men had all seen it already, Madaras frown, his pose, and his chakra all told them the out come of this whole event; you could not bribe Madara Uchiha with livestock and human flesh.

The lord didn't even notice when Madara slowly got up and disappeared from the room, leaving his council to deal with the foolish lord. Now that he had heard what he wanted to hear he had more interesting matters he wished to attend to. The Uchiha council had all seen him leave but the all realized too that Madaras chakra was not the one of a man who wanted to be followed, so they simply ignored his disappearance. It would seem that all the of lords men didn't even notice the absence of the young man either, all but one that is.

Ahh the feudal lords top adviser, he was not as incompetent as the others, he saw how the other Uchiha men looked at the young Madara. He knew this young man was more important than the Uchihas led on. He quietly dismissed himself and followed the Uchiha.

It was not hard finding her, he already knew her defendant but weak chakra signal. Most of the guards and servants knew what he was and stayed out of his way. He may be a stranger who technically shouldn't be aloud to wonder their castle walls so freely, but he was also a ninja and a deadly one at that. None of the lords men wanted to see those "shikigami" eyes.

There was only one who dared to protest, the guard who had his genitals assaulted by this girl did not want to let him pass. Mistake. The guard my have been taller and stockier than Madara, but it was a mistake to even for a moment think he could stand in his way. It was not that Madara was a meek looking man, he right about 6 feet tall, broad shoulders and even with his layers of red armor on it was clear Madara was a very well built man, you couldn't find a inch of fat on the man even if you had a decade to search.

The guard was well over 7 feet and had a very stock build, not necessarily muscular, ah he had quite the beer belly, but he still though his taller height and larger mass was intimidating. He thought wrong. Madara didn't even have to use his eyes, hell he didn't even make eye contact, all it took was a quick jab to the gut. With one fluid motion the guard fell, Madara didn't even bother to look at his writhing victim as he walked right by. 'Humans are so weak' Madara once again thought to himself.

The blonde woman from earlier was in a dank dirty little bared cell. Madaras eyes scanned over her once again, but this time he took much more notice to her appearance. She was lying down on her side, her body beaten to a bloody pulp, even her tangled curly hair looked worst for wear in that the golden color had been tinged with red from her blood. She clearly had been beaten and whipped with in a inch of her life.

Madara once again scanned her for the fear he saw when the lord looked at the boy again. He looked for the weakness, the crying, the broken down soul. Yet once again he could not find the emotions he searched for in this woman. His brow crinkled as his face almost wore something of a pout; she looked happy, peaceful, over all content of her location and situation. What the HELL was wrong with this woman?

"Whats your name?" Madara asked bluntly with a feeling of entitlement. "You need to know that...why?" The woman practically giggled. The pout quickly turned into to a deep glaring scowl. "I'll forgive you and give you one more chance. Tell. Me. Your. NAME!" Madara said with a deep growl. The woman casually sat up, blood dripping from a wound on her head. Her eyes slowly scanned over him, her face continued to wear a casual smile.

Madara was caught by a bit of surprise, how did he not notice this before?

Her eyes were red, even her sclera, she had no whites in her eyes, everything but her pupils were red and even they were hard to distinguish from the rest of her eyes. Although it was not that you couldn't tell the difference between were her iris ended and her sclera began; a darker red, almost black circled her iris. While red coloring was common in ninjas red eyes were almost never seen in regular civilians, however this was different he had never seen anything like this before, and that was really saying something coming from someone who was the master of the Sharingan. He activated them for the first time this night so he could look at her more deeply.

She saw how intently he looked at her and she shut her eyes and lightly shock her head. "Opss" She accidentally whispered. When she opened her eyes again they took the form of normal eyes with the exception of the odd red iris color. Madara almost took a double take, the whites of her eyes had returned, but before he would question this she spoke.

"Why don't you tell me your name and we'll see if that inspired me to give you mine." She said with a little polite smile.

Oh no, Madara did not like this, not one bit, but the early encounter with her eyes made him curious enough to play along with her for now. "Madara Uchiha." He said with a blunt and deadly tone. She gave him one more look over and laid back down, her long long hair once again covering the ground. "Well?"Madara spouted, it was clear his patience with her was waring very thin. "Oh...sorry it didn't inspire me." She said with a casual soft tone.

'How...DARE SHE!' Madaras mind raged, but before he could verbally respond there was a tap on his shoulder.

The lords wisest adviser had seen everything he needed to. "Oh my lord Uchiha!" he said while tapping the young mans shoulder. "If are looking for women, I assure you the best are upstairs ." He said with a wryly grin. "They do not interest me!" Madara snapped away from the mans touch. "Oh my my my! You could have any woman you want from our land and you like this dirty one?" Madara gave the man a deadly glare, but he merely shrugged it off.

"Oh, I am so SO sorry but this one is not for sale, however you may have any other woman you desire from our land...just not this one." What was with the bastards over here, once again someone has verbally spit on him with out the curtsey to even call it rain. Did this fool really think he wanted this bitch?

..wait..why couldn't he have her?

He could have any woman...EXCEPT this one? What the hell do these people think they are doing? If he wanted her he would have her.

Madara was a very intelligent man, however at the time being he seemed to often allow his emotions to over ride his common sense. Had he not been clouded with rage, he would have seen this bastard was just baiting him with his worthless woman. The lord was just planing to kill her in the morning, he had no attachments to her. Before he could truly respond one of his fellow Uchihas appeared by his side. "We need you." Was all the man said before disappearing once again. Madara stomped up the stairs back up to the ball room where the feudal lord was.

When he appeared in the room all the other Uchihas didn't even need to look to see him, they could feel his rage. This would probably no go over well for the lord, they all thought anonymously. The adviser had also returned to the room and took his place back that his chair. The adviser next to him gave his co-worker a puzzled looked but he merely waved it all with his hand. Madara didn't bother to sit back down.

"We the Uchiha will accept your price, we expect to be paid immediately. We will include livestock and food as part of the deal, however we do not need slaves of any sort."

The other Uchihas stared at their leader in shock, pure utter shock.. Was he serious? But before they could say anything he continued.

"However, I WILL take the blonde haired woman from earlier this evening." It was not a question or even a statement, it was a order.

The feudal lord looked just as shocked as the rest of the Uchiha council was. He rubbed the wound the woman had gave him earlier. "Why... her.. I mean you could have.." But before the lord could finish Madara turned his glare to a death threat and interrupted him. "Either she comes as part of the price or you have no deal." Madara was trying to remain civil, but the fact remained he wasn't asking, he would take her regardless of the lords approval.

Now it wasn't that the lord really wanted her, but the fact remain he was still quite enraged from her actions and would have like to kept her to torture her and kill her for his amusement, however he remained calm and thought about it. Having his brother crushed one and for all was well worth the price of one nasty bitch he would like to kill, especially since he was not in any position to be bargaining with them.

The other Uchiha stared at their leader scanning to find anything, anything at all. Some even activated their Sharingans. Was this their Madara? Did he hit his head? They never thought they would see the day where Madara accepted a woman as payment. However their scanning eyes were whipped back into place when Madaras Mangekyou Sharingan showed it self; he dared them to deify him. No this was their Madara there was no doubt about it.

"Very well...You may take her as part of your payment." The lord said finally breaking the silence.

"I do believe I will retire for the night, seeing how you will return home tomorrow I suggest you do too. We will have all of your payment...including the woman ready for you to take home tomorrow morning." With that the feudal lord took his leave. The rest of the men including the Uchiha council retired for the night, it had been a long and strange one.

Madara decided to visit the blonde one more time before he himself called it a night. He once again returned to her chamber he once again studied her. He made mental notes of where each and every one of her bruises and wounds where, so if they beat her again he would know. Not that he care for her well being, however now she was now his property and Madara doesn't like when people touch his stuff. After a while of silence Madara finally decided to speak.

"There going to kill you in the morning you know." He said with a smirk.

Once again he was looking for that fear, he wanted to see fear in her. A light smile crossed her peaceful face.

"Oh Madara I died long ago." Her voice once again showed nothing but content feelings. "I don't believe... I ever said you may address me by my first name." Madara said abruptly. "I don't believe I care." Once again she replied in her careful tone.

"Hmp..." was all Madara said as turned to leave, he would break her when he got home.

In the morning they brought her to him. It was clear that they had not only washed her with in a inch of her life but they had brushed through her long ratty hair covered her in make up and perfumes, and to top it off they put in a fancy red kimono. Her hands were tied and her face wore the pissyest looking pout Madara had ever seen on a woman, if her frown dipped any lower it would be hanging off her face. How tight the ropes around her arms and the bruises on the tired looking men who had brought her out showed it had been a long night for anyone involved with cleaning her up. He scanned her body again, checking for any new signs of injury but found none.

The rest of the Uchiha men scanned her as well, attempting to find what was so special about her.

Oh sure she had her physical charms, her hair was so long it was almost to the ground, now that it have been cleaned and brushed it was still thick and curly but it had a beautiful golden sheen. Her face was pretty enough. Her best feature was clearly her bust size, she had very large breast, although none of the mens eyes stayed on her chest for long, they could feel Madara glare even through the back of his head. However her build was anything but perfect, she had a very long abdomen and short legs, she wasn't fat by any means it was just not the ideal build for a woman.

She was pretty but if Madara was looking for beauty she paled in comparison to the other women they had been offered last night, the only thing she could possible use to compete with them was possible her bust size but other than that she was fairly out matched. Oh but Madara had been offered some of the most beautiful women in the fire country before and turn them done, so this was probably not about appearance.

Madara looked at her one more time before turning over and facing his men.

"Lets move out." He ordered, the Uchiha men moved with no question. "Come woman." He ordered like she was dog.

The men who held her released her pushing her towards him, however once her balance was regained her face scrunched up and she promptly sat down on the ground. One of the men who had held her, clearly sick of her, came over to kick her, but was waved off by Madara. Madara turned towards his men "Keep going, we will catch up soon." They only paused for a moment then continued on their ways leaving their leader behind.

Madara approached her with a frown on his face. "Hpm...What would death have been better?" He didn't give her a chance to answer "I have put in the effort in to save you! You are now mine so I suggest you stay on my good side and listen to me." He said. She looked up at him, pouting face unchanged "I already told you, I died long ago."...

"Hmmmppf...fine, if you want to do this the hard way we will." Madara didn't even give her the chance to respond before he lifted her up and put her over his shoulder. Her face was pointed towards the back of his head and her hair draped over his shoulder and down his wast. Her nose scrunched as his own prickly thick black hair teased her face.

He walked with her through the busy and bustling city for a good half hour. All he heard from her was low growls and grunts. This worried him, she was plotting something. Tired of her growls Madara finally said something "Tell me your name and I might put you down." He taunted. She was quite for a moment but then she responded "I want my mare...I refuse to come with you with out my mare!" Despite her position it was clear she meant that statement to be a order not a request. Madaras mind thought for a moment 'Whats a mare again..I know I've heard that term...Oh yes its a horse isn't it?... Wait... w.a.i.t .. she wants me to bring her a horse...is she really that mad? What is wrong with this woman!'

All of the sudden she started to make whistle like noises. Now she was really pushing it, had she been a man, Madara probably would have killed her already. She stopped and when she did Madara felt a change in her chakras feel. She made one more loud whistle. That was it! If she had decided on torturing him with silly noises he would take away her right to speak by gagging her.

But before he could even put her down he felt something. It happened so fast that even he had a hard time comprehending what was happening. In a instance he felt his spine pushed forward as his lungs felt like they were force out of his rib cage. He dropped her behind him as he was launched forward by what was easily the most powerful blow he had ever felt. He had worn this thick red armor for many years now, oh yes he had been wounded many times but he never met a shinobi that could crack it.

Everything seem to play in slow motion. As Madara attempted to regain his composure when he got up to his knees something from his back fell to the ground. His thick red armor that he had trusted his life to many of times, to his very shock, cracked into pieces and felt to the ground in front of him. Sharingan ablazed he quickly looked to see what had done this. He eyes widened...

No way...

A.. a horse? He had been attacked by a...HORSE?... A HORSE?

The world still playing in slow motion the horse seemed to bow to him, but he quickly realized that it was merely making it easily to be mounted as the blonde woman, still bound climbed on top of the animal. It lowered its head bared its teeth and pinned its ears towards him, its eyes meeting his Sharingan fearlessly.

My god the horse was worst that she was.

As quickly as it appeared the animal took off at with her on its back, quickly disappearing from even his advanced vision. He quickly got to his feet wiping the bit of blood from his mouth. Theres no way this was a normal horse, he had met many horses, though he never used them or had any interest in the animals he knew enough about them to know that one wasn't normal. He pushed all of his chakra to his feet and made a mad dash faster than lighting, attempting to catch up with the beast. He knew horses were fast, but he never imagined one could be this fast. Despite his best efforts to follow her chakra, her chakra was covered by the horse, he attempted to track the horse but he never tracked just a horse before. Their energy a new thing to him, it was hopeless, the city contained hundreds maybe even thousands of horses and he had no way to pick the one that just attacked him out from the others.

He lost her.

More Author notes:

OMG like NO way theres a horse in this story! Yeah I don't write anything that doesn't at the very least have one horse in it.