Friday January 8th

8:30

Farkle was sitting in his desk. The past week Riley still hasn't shown. It's weird for him not to have her there. He couldn't tell where his eyes were suppose to go or what to look at. Usually his eyes trailed to Maya, who had made an effort to talk to Farkle this week. She understands why he did it, but she was confused on why then and why there. Honestly Farkle didn't know either, or at least he let himself believe that.

Yesterday they had taken a test. Normally Farkle wouldn't even look at his grade because he knew it was an A. This time Farkle felt a chill go up his spine. He didn't study or even review the information. He had been so upset and worried to even feel the need to review. Mr. Matthews was passing back the test. He stopped at Farkle's desk and handed Farkle the test flipped over.

He slowly turned it over and saw a D+ circled at the top. He wanted to be mad, he wanted to bothered by the bad grade, but the only thing that bothered him was the empty desk in front of him.

5:57

Farkle had gotten to the rooftop early. He'd been sitting there for at least 30 minutes trying to figure out what to say. He knew he had to apologize, but would he be able to give Riley the explanation? She could tell when he was lying so the excuse that he wanted her happy could throw up red flags. Could he really tell her it's because he was afraid that he'd fall even more for her if she wasn't with someone. If she were with someone it wouldn't give him the false hope that maybe just maybe that she liked him. That with someone, he'd be able to keep himself from flirting or staring. The more he thought about her being with someone, the angrier he got. The more he longed to be with Riley.

As he stood up, the door clicked open and he intook quickly knowing there was no turning back now.

6:00

Riley had spent the last ten minutes staring at the door handle. She didn't want to admit, but she was scared. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to hear his apology. She wanted things to be normal again. She didn't want things to be like this. She finally gulped down enough fear to open the door.

She was at the steps of the rooftop when she saw Farkle. He was standing where she had sat on New Years Eve. She started to approach him, he followed suit rushing towards her.

"Riley, I-" She rose her hand signaling him to stay quiet.

"Farkle, I trusted you! I thought you cared about me! I thought you were my friend. Friends don't humiliate each other like that Farkle!" She shouted biting back tears. She promised herself she wouldn't cried. She told herself he wasn't worth crying over, but in that moment all she wanted was to curl in a ball and sob on his shoulder.

"I do care about you Riley, don't ever say I don't." He says shaking, finally letting the cold get to him.

"I just didn't realize how much pain it would cause telling your secret. I thought things would get better. Having you feel like this was never my intentions."

"Then what were your intentions Farkle Minkus, because obviously you were very off!" She shouts shoving him back slightly. His hands automatically grab her wrists and he reels her in. Close enough that she can count the colors in Farkle's eyes. She quirms unable to control the burning sensation that trails through her body. Her heart is pounding and she only hopes Farkle can't tell.

"I... I don't know, I didn't want you to lie to our friends and most of all yourself. I wanted you to be happy!" He says searching her eyes, still not loosening his grip.

"Do I look happy?! You're lying and you know I know." She shouts without unlocking her eyes from Farkle's.

"You keep saying that we don't lie each other, that I shouldn't hide my feelings, that I shouldn't put others feelings in front of mine, but lately that all you've been doing." She ends sharply trying to pull out of Farkle's warming grasp.

Surprise flashes across his face as if she'd slapped him. He lets go of her quickly after realize what he was implying.

"I have loved since the 1st grade and you've known that all this time. I haven't lied about any feelings. This isn't even about me." He ends the statement sharply.

"Of course it's about you. You told me not to hide my feelings, to stop putting everyone's happiness in front of mine, but I've finally realized I've been listening to a hypocrite my entire life!" She shout turning around swiftly. Farkle's hand catches her elbow and reels her back in. He pulls her close enough she can count the light freckles on his face.

"That's not fair and you know it." He says emotionless. She's up to 14 freckles by then trying to bite back all the things she's left unsaid. She knows she has to spill it all out or she'll become a grenade ready to explode. It's now or never

"You won't admit that your feelings for me are different then the ones you have for Maya. You've been hiding that secret this entire time." One second goes by. He's searching her eyes. She gulps and continues.

"That's why you told, because it's easier for you to break Maya's heart than mine! She's tougher than me and she'll get over Lucas quicker than I ever will. Right? But why push me towards Lucas, you've always been jealous of him. Why HIM? Why do you like the idea of Lucas and I?"

"Is that what you think? That I like the idea of you and Lucas? No, you... No. I hate the idea of you and Lucas. He makes you happy and that's what I want for you. If Charlie or Zay gave you the same happiness, I'd want you with them just as much as Lucas!"

She shakes her head biting her lip back.

"You're kidding right? How can you not see that you're a hypocrite. You're, very plainly, putting my happiness before yours!" She says flailing her arms.

"I've always put your feelings before mine. That was a given when I first fell in love with you."

"Just admit it Farkle, you hate Lucas and that he threw away his chance to be with me. You hate that you had to push me towards him because he's the one who could make me happy and that sickens you!"

"I never said I hated Lucas, but yes I hate that he was yours and he fell for another girl. He doesn't deserve you. He took you for granted! If he really had liked you, Riley, he wouldn't have fallen for Maya. And that's the cold hard truth." She chokes back a sob, never really thinking about it before. She tries to calm herself and she can barely even look at him.

"Excuse me?" She asks now drilling needles into his eyes.

"You're the one saying that you love Maya and I equally, but then again your hypocritical mindset just proved yourself wrong AGAIN!" He licks his lips looking down at his hands which keep clenching and unclenching.

"Look, I came here tonight to apologize, to say that I was wrong. That in fact I, Farkle Minkus, made a mistake that has no correction." His eyes flick straight to hers.

"I boomed a test and got dumped by Smackle and lost all my friends within the same week. I'm trying!" Hiseyes are pleading for forgiveness. He's so close, she was scared he could feel her melting.

"Farkle," she says grabbing just above his wrist.

"Are you okay? About Smackle?" She knows she should still be mad and aggressive towards him, but she can't pull herself to carry the facade.

"I'm... Fine..." Barely meeting her eyes. He wanted to tell her how guilty he felt for not feeling anything after his break up, how unaffected he felt from it. That's when he realized how badly things were between him and Riley. He no longer could leisure talk to Riley about these things. A certain barrier has been built since New Year's.

"No... I'm not okay!" He says suddenly. Her eyes twinkle with jealously that Smackle had let Farkle through her fingers. Maybe this was the exact feeling Farkle was feelings towards Lucas.

"Physically I'm fine, and honestly I'm okay with Smackle and my breakup, but I'm not okay seeing the pain, not only I'm putting you through, but the pain I'm enduring as well. I didn't intend for things to be like this. I don't think I'm gonna be okay until you forgive me and mostly until I forgive myself." He hangs his head in shame. A light cloud of red stains his cheeks as he turns away from Riley. She reaches for his wrist.

"I just need more time, I'm just really tired of everything right now. I want to forgive I really do, but I just can't. Not now at least. I need time to think. You know?" His face scrunched up as if he'd eaten something sour.

"I get it." He steps out of her reach and she can tell by his face he's not happy with her answer.

"You need to talk to Maya and Lucas, they miss you. See you Monday." Everything he said went by so quickly and before she knew it, she was left alone on the rooftop feeling the same coldness she felt on New Years Eve.