Dear Diary
Alright Diary, I got you for one thing and one thing only. I need you so that I can have a somewhat regular way to vent about my feelings for Ali. I don't know. It's just that after writing on Piece of Paper, I felt a whole lot better. Shoe shopping with Ali was more bearable and my urge to kiss her or something lessened.
See, I finally worked out why I kissed her in the library and the locker room. I let my feelings for her build up too much. I was in complete denial but I can't help myself so the feelings finally took over and I kissed her. The consequences were of course, somewhat awful. You, Diary, are gonna help me with that. Oh, god, look at me, I'm so nuts, I refer to diaries and pieces of paper as people. Whatever, right Diary? At least you're helping me by listening to me and keeping my secret. Oh, and how do you keep my secret so finely, you ask? Well, I pulled out all the stops for you. Invisible ink, padlock, and you're the under all my sixth grade History reports.
Anyways, Diary, Ali's been a bit harsher than usual. I don't know, Diary. I think something's bothering her and she takes it out on us. Yes, Diary, I think she knows secrets about the other girls too. It's been happening more than usual lately. Ali would say something teasing and vague, 3 girls won't have a clue what she's talking about but one girl gets all flustered, offended and hurt. It seems like sometimes she enjoys hurting us, Diary. But, she's also seemed more on edge lately. I wonder what's bothering her.
Ali's been more flirty than usual. Sometimes she flirts so much I just want to kiss her, hug her or something but I know that if I do anything I'd regret it almost immediately. I know that she'd hold it over me. Oh, she'd pretend she won't but the little jabs would come. So subtle, no one would know what she's talking about but you'd know. And you'd get scared she'd say more. Again I can't hate her but I just wish she'd treat me better. I'd do anything for Ali. She doesn't even need to love me back. I just wish she'd be less cruel.
I wish she knew how I felt. I just can't seem to have the courage to let her know. I don't have the courage to tell her. After I kissed her in the locker room and she rejected me I wrote so many letters I'd never send to her. I burned most of them but I kept one. I kept one because that letter was just so special to me. I poured my heart and soul into it. I just wish that one day, I'd have the nerve to send it.
Ali, Ali, Ali...I just wish she'd stay out of my mind and let me have a good 8 hours of sleep for once. Sigh, and my phone's ringing. it's Ali. I better get that Diary.