Date: 12-20-2009
I am walking through the park with David in an attempt to get my labor started. December twelve was supposed to be Evelyn's original due date. I am one week over
due, this revelation disappoints me. Stress and impatience are killing me from within making waiting for Evelyn's arrival to be unbearable. Since I have HIV, my
pregnancy is considered to be life threatening. It has been such a long and difficult pregnancy; I am now ready to give birth. I tried doing yoga and
drinking herb tea, but my stubborn cervix still refuses to dilate ten centimeters. Walking through the park has increased my contractions so far today. A cold chill in the air
and carolers singing Christmas songs bring back old childhood memories for me. I miss my parents so much it just hurts to breathe sometimes because we are estranged.
A huge hole in my heart takes the place of where their love should be. Beautiful blue skies hover above my head promising a new era of great change. I pull my coat
tighter around my body and my thoughts drift elsewhere. Contractions are coming in like ocean waves and I am at the mercy of forces beyond my control. Holding my
hand, David leads me over to a nearby bench. We sit down on the bench and he massages my shoulders while I struggle through another painful contraction. A gush of
water soaks my dress catching me off guard. "OH GOD, Dave, my water just broke" excited, I announce to David. "I guess it must be about showtime then" David smirks
escorting me to his truck. Screaming, this is my sweetest escape away from from reality. I feel sorry for my boyfriend because he has to listen to me scream during the
long drive to the hospital. He is kind enough to carry me into the building where I am escorted to a delivery room by a wheel chair. While I struggle through yet another
contraction, David helps me put on my hospital garments. I am too far along in my labor to receive an epidural. Surprisingly, my cervix has finally dilated ten centimeters
and I am ready to push. Between crying and screaming, I am losing a lot of blood in an attempt to bring Evelyn into the world. I am in so much pain that death appears to
be closer than ever before. David's encouraging words give me motivation and strength. I feel like wonder woman until a life threatening complication arises during the
birthing process. The baby is stuck in the birth canal. The obgyn performs an episiotomy. An episiotomy is a cut into the vagina that helps release the baby. Evelyn
has trouble breathing so oxygen is applied to her lungs. Endless, tears of joy fall down my face at the sound of her crying. A nurse wraps Evelyn up in a pink blanket and
brings her over to me to hold for the first time. Emotional, David looks on in wonder and amazement as Evelyn drinks my breast milk. I have no regrets about bringing
Evelyn into the world because she has saved my life.