Hmmm. I don't think I've completely figured this out yet...How do you add a new chapter? Me thinks I'm not doing it the correct way, but the guide's sooooo confusiiiiiing. *moans really loudly*

Loony: *from other room* Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!

Me: Bite me!

I slid down the wall next to the closed door in the silent house. I thumped my head on the way down, then once more for good measure. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing in this place. It was dark – All I could see were the dark forms of furniture (but thankfully, none that looked human in shape). There was a huge clutter of books, parchment, and other odds-and-ends that I couldn't make out piled in the corner to my right. There was some furniture lining the wall to my left, dark and ominous shapes that I couldn't quite make out.

You might be wondering why I'm hiding out in such a place. Well, I have a good reason, to me at least. Let's recap, shall we?

* - - - *

"OOOH, good morning my dear girl!" Jolly Jiggles threw his short arms into the air and waved them about. He kinda looked like a squawking chicken when he did that. "Today is your lucky day!"

"…Hwuh?"

"I'm Mayor Hamilton, m'lady, mayor of this wonderful island that you so graciously chose to farm on! You're too kind, my dear – ah, what's your name?"

"Emily!" Maya piped up.

Shoot. "Oh, um, no, it's actually Mo-"

"Come come, dear Emily, for I must show you all of this beautiful island and all its amazing inhabitants!"

Mayor grabbed my arm and dragged me out the inn door. "-olly."

And I still hadn't had breakfast.

…

"And this here is Selena, Kathy, and Haydon! Say hiya, Emily!"

I waved shakily at the people Hamilton was pointing at. The man – Haydon – nodded at me in an intimidating way, crossing his big hairy arms. The blonde girl smiled warmly, but the exotic one in the purple genie outfit scowled. "What's she here for?"

"Why, Emily here intends to start a farm, Selena. Isn't that right, Em-"

"Y-you're wrong!"

He froze, looking like a baby who was told that they couldn't have that giant chocolate bar in front of them. "Wh-what do you mean? You came here to f-farm! There's a plot of land and a house and a barn and a coop with your name on it!"

I rose my hands, trying to speak so that he could hear. Kinda hard when he didn't shut up. "No, yes, yeah, I'm gonna start a farm, don't you worry. It's just, my name's Molly. Got that?"

Selena laughed, a hard bark full of conceit. "What do you know? It speaks." My face immediately flared up. "Well, I'd simply love to stay, but I've gotta go practice my dancing. I'm the Brass Bar's dancer, did you know? So if you're thinking of stealing my job, don't." As she passed by me, a cloud of tropical scents enveloped me as she muttered for me alone to hear. "Not that I have anything to worry about. You haven't got the body for it, twiggy."

I blinked at the ground, mouth firmly shut. She was right, of course. I had practically no curves, something she sure had in surplus. And I danced like a drunk lumberjack with two left feet and manacles on his ankles. So…in other words…not very good.

I heard a loud sigh. A pair of cowboy boots appeared in my view. Kathy tipped up my head to face her. "Don't let 'er get to you. She's really sweet when yah get to know 'er, she's jist not comfortable yet here. On-edge, yah know? She'll warm up, don't yah worry."

Haydon nodded and smiled. "Meh daughter's right. But I might have ter talk to 'er."

I managed a smile, though I was a bit surprised. His soft voice didn't match his scary exterior. "Oh, thanks."

Kathy looked over her shoulder and giggled. "You'd better git going. Mayor's torturing poor Candace again." He was animatedly talking to some girl with big blue braids and a sad face, at least what wasn't being covered by her thick bangs was sad. "So long, Molly!" She waved, walking into the Brass Bar. "Come see us when yer all settled!"

…

After I had met the women of the tailor shop (Loved Candace. She was like me, only quieter. Luna was…interesting. She kept shoving dresses at me, saying everything just wasn't my color. Ms. Shelly could barely contain her), Hamilton brought me to the Clinic (Dr. Jin was super somber, but wouldn't stop staring at me. Irene just eyed me like a hawk.), the photography shop (where I got me a free camera! Whipee!), the fishery, and finally the Town Hall. He bounced over to a boy sitting at the counter, reading a book. "Gilligan! Any news?"

He sighed, and without looking up said dryly, "What do you think? And don't call me that, Father."

He turned and winked at me, grinning. "Real charmer, my Gill is. Look up, son! This is Molly."

Gill looked up skeptically. When he saw me, he immediately stood up and held out his hand. "Gill Hamilton. I'm the Assistant Mayor of the island."

I felt my eyebrows rise slightly, but shook his hand. His handshake was firm and quick. "Er, nice to meet you."

"Well!" Hamilton clapped us both on the back, making him cough and me stagger. "Now that she's in your hands, I've got to go check up on things. Bye bye!"

"Wait. What?" I called after him. He responded by slamming the door.

Gill frowned. "I should've known he'd pull something like this. He's got the attention span of a monkey chewing on cardboard."

I giggled once, but tried to frown. "How can you talk of your father like that?"

"Easy." He turned and started reading again, leaving me to wonder what to do. Finally, I leaned over and tried to read too. He cleared his throat pointedly and turned. "Can't you do something else besides breathing in my ear?"

"Uh, w-well…" I stuttered. "Your dad only showed me the town, and I still don't know where my new home is. Or the church. Do you have a place to worship?"

"Walk out the door, take a right, then another right, and go straight up the path."

"Okeeday." I strode purposely out the door and proceeded straight across the bridge. "…Wait a second…"

Gill looked up when I entered, obviously annoyed. "Don't tell me you-"

"Can you repeat those directions again?" I grinned sheepishly.

"It's simple. Walk out. The. Door. Take. A. Right. Then…" He sighed and tossed his book aside. "Never mind. I always have to do everything around here."

Near the top of the path, I pointed out a particularly weird building. "Who lives there?"

"Ahhh, no one really." He scratched his head nervously, playing with the prominent cowlick.

"Really? Why not? It's a cool looking house…"

"It's…a touchy subject."

"What hap-"

"Just leave it!"

I blinked and bit my lip. I hated getting yelled at. "….Sorry..."

He sighed, but didn't say anything.

The small white church sat in front of us. It was cute, but not very impressive. "Thanks for showing me here. I don't want to be a burden anymore, so I'll find my way home."

Gill snorted. "No, it's my duty to show you around."

"Yeah, 'cuz he's just so dutiful like that." Someone sneered behind us. I jumped and whirled around, but Gill just sighed. "Good evening, Chase."

Huh, the name sounds familiar. The boy was tall, with strawberry-blonde hair. He narrowed his purple (purple?) eyes. "Whose this?"

"I-I'm Molly. Pleased to meet…I-I mean, hello."

"Well, let me give you a tip, kid. Gill's middle name is 'boring'. Like yours is 'jackhammer'."

"…J-jack…hammer?"

He nodded. "Your stutter?" He clasped his hands under his chin, bent his knees to my level, and widened his eyes. "'J-j-jackha-a-ammer?'" He squeaked, lips trembling.

My cheeks flushed. "N-now I know where I've heard you before. You argued with M-maya this m-morning."

"'M-m-maya this m-m-m-morning?'" He stopped the impressions. "Yeah."

"You shouldn't make fun of her. She k-kinda nice, unlike you! And her food's not that – uh – bad…" Umm, yeah, it was. Stop now, Molly, you're starting to act too stupid.

"Really? Tell me, are you insane, are you exceedingly stupid, or are you just sticking up for one of the losers that actually like you on this island? And yes, I put you in the 'loser' category, Lil' Ham," he said coolly, nodding at Gill.

Gill scowled, his cheeks starting to rise in color.

Normally, I hate being mean to anyone, even if they practically hand me a card saying, 'I'm a horrible, evil a-hole. Slap me, please,' I never have, though. But this guy was just evil. "You j-jerk," I started real low, "I bet you can't even cook good yourself, so you're always putting down others, trying to feel better. Is that right? That you suck at cooking, Mr…Mr…?"

"Mr. Cooke."

"…C-Cooke?" Gee, I really stepped in it this time. Not only did he wear an apron, his name was Cooke. Open mouth, insert foot.

"That's right." He took a slow step towards me, then another.

Gill cleared his throat. "Come on, Molly. I have to get you to your house soon." He tugged at my sleeve once, then started walking away to another path.

"Hey." Chase leaned in, firmly placing himself in my personal space. I cringed at his expression. It was…dangerous, somehow. Like I had just played with a fatal fire. "Come to the Brass Bar tonight, and I show you what good food is about. Six o'clock."

I pulled away jerkily and ran after Gill.

I found him waiting next to… "A mine cart?"

He nodded. "Get in."

I stood just outside of it. "Umm, are you sure about this? It d-doesn't look too stable, and I…I can't see where it leads to. It's just pitch black…"

"You'll be fine. Everyone uses it all the time."

I slowly climbed in. Even though I went cautiously, I still managed to catch my foot on the rim, nearly getting a face-full of splinters (or worse, Gill). "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

I settled in the back behind Gill, who reached down and moved a lever. The cart started creeping toward the tunnel. "Wait wait stop!" I panicked, grabbing his arm. "I changed my mind please stop it nononononoooo!" And we were swallowed up in the void.

All the blood left my face, and I felt myself go numb. I couldn't feel a single thing. Well, almost. I felt my stomach with crystalline clarity, every jump, every twist, every turn. I held on to Gill for dear life and shut my eyes, wishing for it to end.

"…Molly."

"~whimper~"

"Molly!"

"I-i-is it ov-v-ver?"

"Yeah. Listen, my arm's losing circulation, so before it completely falls off, can you let go?"

I opened my eyes and grinned guiltily. "Oops. Heheh…"

He rolled his eyes and helped me out. My feet didn't hit the ground before someone picked me up. "HIYA NEW PERSON!!!" He yelled, spinning me around and around, not helping my mine cart-induced motion sickness.

"Luke!" Gill scolded. "Put her down before she throws up!"

"Wha-?" The guy immediately dropped me. I staggered and ended up falling on my butt. "EEEEW! Gross!"

"You okay, chick?" A deep voice asked.

I couldn't get up yet, so I just waved my hand. "I'm f-fine." I looked up to meet my attackers. One with a shock of messy blue hair and a fire bandana – I'm pretty sure he's the one who nearly killed me – jumped up and down with a huge, happy-go-lucky grin. The other was…huge. Seriously jacked, muscles bulging. He scared me just looking at him. He grinned and winked.

Bandana Boy jumped over and yanked me up. "Sorry about that, newbie! I was just so…soooo…EXCITED to see ya! WELCOME TO THE ISLAND!!!"

"Shut up, Luke…" Gill muttered, covering his ears.

"It's great to meet you, bright eyes." Red-haired Chuck Norris smiled and stepped forward. Geez, what was it with guys getting in my face today? I took a step towards Gill, away from… "The name's Owen, Owen Smith…but you can call me whatever you want, sugar."

Luke grabbed both my hands and yanked them up and down – a sugar-high handshake (or should I say earthquake?) "What's YOUR name??"

"Her name's Molly, and I'm showing her to her new house." Gill pulled me away from Luke's tight grasp, only to have me pulled back to Owen's side.

"I can take care of her, Gillers. You run along and do…whatever it is you do in your trivial job." I staggered as he started to lead me away.

Now wait a second, I don't want to go with them! This Luke seemed sweet enough, but Body Builder here was just a big bully. He looked down and started playing with my little cowlick, twisting it around his sausage finger. I shivered and tried to yank my arm away, but his grip was tight. Great. Not only was he a bully, but a perverted, touchy-feely bully. "Hey, you should let her go." Luke said, finally not yelling. "That's not nice."

"Hey! Get back here and leave her alone!" Gill yelled, running after us. "This is not being civil, Mr. Smith!"

"HelloOOooo! What have we here?" a flamboyant voice called. Someone with saucy red eyes and beautiful long purple hair walked up. "Oooh, just like in the movies. The plot, she thickens!" She held up a long hand in a graceful gesture. "But I'm afraid that it stops here. Let's be gentlemen, shall we?"

Owen looked like he was about to say something, but then the woman back-hand knocked the door to a shop with a blacksmith's sign over it. As fast as he had grabbed me, he let go and got a healthy distance from me. He frowned at me, disappearing into the mine entrance.

Luke shrugged and smiled at me and Gill, already forgetting that I had just been harassed by the Incredible Hulk. Or maybe he just never really understood it. "Sorry 'bout that! Have a good day, and maybe I'll see ya around, Molly!" He skipped off, an axe bouncing on his shoulder.

The lady sighed dramatically. "I don't know how we all deal with him. Lukie's okay, but Owen's a bad egg. Stay away from him at all cost, sweetie."

"Oh, you don't need to tell me twice!" I laughed nervously. "Thank you!"

"Oi!" A grumpy looking old man poked his head out of the door that she had just knocked on. "Was that you, Chloe? I'm telling you for the last time, it's not funny!" He glared at the woman. "Wait, it was you, Julius?"

WHAT? Julius…Isn't that a boy's name?

Julius laughed merrily, and this time I could hear the lower tone to his squeal. "Oooooh, no. I think you're hearing things, Mr. Ramsey!"

Thank god I learned his gender this way. I was about to ask him if Owen had harassed him, too.

When the man closed the door, I said breathlessly, "Thank you so much, Julius! I was so confused back there."

He winked, but it wasn't a gross wink. "No problem, doll!"

"I had it under control," grumbled Gill.

"Is there any way I can pay you ba-?"

"Oh noooo, you don't need to do anything for me!" He shook his head, but then he froze and eyed me up and down. "Actually, there is something…"

Oh, god. He's not going to go all perverted like Owen, was he? I looked over at Gill for guidance, but he was just rolling his eyes and shaking his head. I stiffened when Julius walked closer and started pulling at my clothes, expecting the worse. But he just clucked his tongue and exclaimed, "Honey, I'm going to make you over!"

Shiver, man, shiver! Hiiiissssssss, no makeover! Don't you even think of comeing near me with that lipstick, hissssss! (This was me at a birthday party. It wasn't any use - I became their personal Barbie doll.)

And okay, I'm going to stress this right now and save myself the trouble. I DO NOT HATE OWEN!!! I don't hate ANYBODY on this game! But I tried writing a couple stories where everyone was nice and everything was hunkydoory great, and it's just boring. And since Owen's basically the only dude I've seen so far who wasn't mean in any (Loony even saw one where Toby was a jerk!) I decided to make him the perv. But I DON'T HATE HIM!!!