Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and The Twilight Saga. They belong to J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer. I am writing this just for fun and no money is being made.

AN: I would like to apologize for any mistakes in advance. And I hope you like it.. 😊

"When you left, I was nothing more a shell of myself. I love you, but I need time to forgive you. I want an eternity with you and for that, I need to let go of the hurt and heartbreak you left me with. I just need some time, Edward."

"Is it because of the mutt?" he asked.

"There is no other choice for me, Edward. I love Jacob and he is my best-friend, but you are my everything. I cannot live without you. I am in love with you, not him." she looked him in the eyes and said sincerely.

He didn't say anything, just nodded at her. After all, it was all his fault. He left the only girl that loved him and he had to pay for that somehow. The mutt was outside her house, in the woods and he could hear him clearly. Jacob Black. The throne of his existence. He was replaying the kiss he and Bella had shared in this very kitchen, again and again in his head, along with everything she went through in the last seven months. The mutt was cursing him for coming back, for taking Bella away from him, when he finally managed to win the girl and he had nothing to say to that. From the 'kiss' which was constantly playing in his own head now, he could tell that Jacob was right.

He could see 'the kiss' like a movie. He initiated it, but she kissed him back. Both of them staring at each other, his fingers brushing her cheeks and the other one holding her close by the waist, him crushing her mouth to hers; her arms finding purchase on his shoulders, grabbing a hold of his hair tightly and responding to him just as passionately, their tongues tangling with each-others…

And he slammed his eyes shut, as if closing them would make it all go away.

"I want to be like you, I want to spend all my life with you. It's all too much. I just need a month, to say goodbye and come to terms with everything. Please, Edward." She whispered, looking at him with those innocent, chocolate colored eyes of hers.

How could he say no to her? He couldn't deny her anything, especially now, that he has already hurt her like he never wanted to. She's been through hell and back because of him. This was the least he could do for her. His want to stay with her was nothing, compared to anything she wanted from him.

His heart clenched, and he suppressed every emotion he felt, everything he wanted to say to her, but instead he whispered the words that would make her happy.

"Alright."

"I just need a month." She came closer and hugged him. "Then I'll let even Alice plan our wedding." She looked at him with a smile, but he could see it in her eyes, that the idea of wedding was freaking her out.

"Bella. I'll do everything I can to give you the happiness you deserve. Even if you want to stay human, I would be there with you. I won't let anyone hurt you." They both knew he was talking about the ultimatum Aro had given them, but he would make sure that she'll stay human, if that's what she wanted.

She scoffed at that but didn't say anything. She didn't need to; the uncertainty was palpable on her face.

She kissed him lightly on the lips and he kissed back, but it wasn't anywhere near what she had shared with the mutt and they couldn't have that until she was turned. He pushed that thought aside.

"You'll come back, right?" she asked in a quivering voice.

He could see tears building in her eyes and said, "Yes. I promise."

With that being said, he lightly kissed her on the lips and left as soon as he could.

.

.

That was the moment, that nearly destroyed him. Now he knew how she felt when he left her. He left because he thought it was the right thing to do. She was a human, had everything worth living for – parents who loved her, friends and she had her whole life ahead of her. He had been trying to hunt Victoria ever since he left, but wasn't successful. He wanted to make Bella's life happy, he thought that if he'll leave, then maybe she'll find someone worth loving for, who would be able to give her everything, that he couldn't. He wanted her to get everything, that none of his family could have. She was young, and he didn't want her to hate him for eternity. Anyone in his family didn't have a choice in the matter, they were frozen in time forever, but he wanted to give her one last chance before he doomed her eternally.

When Rosalie told him that Bella was dead, he felt his heart breaking in two. Such crushing guilt consumed him, that he knew he won't be able to live with himself. And, how could he? He thought that he was the reason behind her death.

Sweet, innocent Bella!

The girl he would love forever. He was still a monster who didn't deserve her, but he wanted to take what he could get and she loved him, even after the knowledge of what he was. She had made his life a bit tolerable, then it had been in his 100 years. And now, she was dead because of his desire to stay with her. If he would have stayed away from the beginning itself, then she would have been alive. Why should he live, if someone died because of his foolishness? He didn't deserve to live. So, he went to Volterra which turned out to be the biggest mistake of his life. He himself took the choice away, that he wanted so badly for her.

And now here he was, doing what she wanted him to do. He was sure that if he stayed in Forks or anywhere near her, he won't be able to give her what she had asked him for. He decided to give her all the time she needed, he would be back after the month. Alice would have seen any decision Bella would make by then and he would come back. So, he decided to go to Europe, he hadn't been there in a long time and this was as good time as any. When he reached home, everyone was giving him pitying looks, apart from Rosalie, who was seething and was feeling guilty over her actions, simultaneously. As always, he chose to ignore her.

Alice came down with his bag and gave it to him. She was singing, god knows what, in her head loudly and he narrowed his eyes at her. She never did that, unless it was something of significance.

"What is it, Alice?" he asked seriously.

"Nothing." She answered cheerfully, but he could see that something was bothering her and she was trying to hide it.

"Please." He whispered. He didn't have the energy to fight with her and maybe because of that she showed him her vision.

'His and Bella's wedding was even more blurred now, than it had been seven months ago, before he left.'

Even though he knew that there was a possibility of her choosing the mutt instead of him, but the vision etched itself in his brain. He did his best to ignore it, after all Bella had told him that she was in love with him and not with the mutt, but nothing helped him calm the sorrow he felt in his frozen heart at that moment. He closed his eyes and sighed before saying goodbye to everyone. Esme and Alice hugged him at last and then he left.

.

.

He was boarding the plane to London and even though he had hope in his heart, that she will choose him and he will someday get the love that he has lost because of his mistakes, he couldn't understand why it felt like a goodbye.

What he didn't knew was, that he would get the love he wanted, just not with the girl he was thinking about.

EN: I request you not to PM me that this is a short chapter. I know. The next one's are going to be longer. It was necessary to end it here.

Sept 10th, 2018