Victory tour starts today and again I have to look and play the part. My hair is in braids tucked around and under with my clothes dark, form fitting, and powerful. Peeta's hair is slicked back and he is wearing black and red. I turn to look at him and see him smiling and laughing with passengers on the train. It is almost uncanny how easy it is for him to converse with complete strangers. His smile with those dimples beckons people and when he speaks they hang on his every word. Everybody but me that is.
When the train stops, Peeta reaches for my hand. He recognizes the part we need to play. His other hand reaches around my waist. The crowd cheers as we exit the train. Peeta turns to me and gives me a celebratory kiss. This makes the crowd go crazy. We are in the 5th district and I feel panicky. Peeta walks away from me and immediately starts talking to the children in the crowd. He waves his hands at me to follow his lead.
It was nervewracking wondering if there would be any repercussions from the people in the 5th district. Instead of being angry, many of them treated us with respect and suprisingly enough were friendly. Not that we had a choice in the matter to be in the Hunter Games in the first place! My fears were unfounded in this district, yet we still have more to go. And I am so tired of playing the games!
When Peeta and I reentered the train, I made a comment to him about how well he played the part. He turned to me sadly and said that he is not the type to play games about the things that really matter. Then, he cupped my chin, looked into my eyes and just stared. For a second there, I felt bad because it wasn't really him I was mad it. Mostly, it sucked to not have a choice in any part of my life. After that strange encounter, Peeta walked away and sat in a far corner and started drawing in his notebook.
At night time, Peeta was faithful and slipped into my bed. He did not make any comments or even look at me. But, I felt his presence and the warmth of his arms. Sleep came quickly until I was awakened by the sound of Peeta stirring restlessly in his sleep. When I touched his arms, he immediately turned me around facing him grabbing me by the arms.
"Peeta, I said, it's Katniss".
He looked up at me as I lay propped above him my head facing his.
"Oh, Katniss... you are safe." Before I even had a moment to think, he reached for me giving me a long kiss. I could not breathe and yet I did not want to stop. My insides were like jelly.
"Peeta."
I did not finish as I was again silenced with another kiss. It ended abruptly as Peeta began to softly snore. He was dreaming! I could not believe it. This amazing kiss we shared that beat all of our fake kisses was Peeta dreaming.
It took me along time to fall asleep after that but I did. I just cannot understand why I hate the pretense of dating Peeta but still need to be in his arms to feel peace. Everything is so complicated.