Disclamier- Same as the first chapter

Authors note- Thanks for all of the reviews and to everyone that read it. These first 2 chapters or so, are just the contents of both of their heads i'm hoping to make the story better as i go along. Soon there will be more diaglouge and interaction.

Ashleys POV

I'm lying awake here watching her sleep, watching her chest gently rise and fall with every breath and wish I could just stay here in this exact spot living this moment over and over again, where the only thing to judge me is my own insecurities where the most beautiful girl in the world gently has her arm draped over my body, and her legs are tangled up in mine and my skin is tingling, and my heart is racing and I'm so undeniably happy just because I am laying next to her .

I really shouldn't feel this way, I really shouldn't want her like I do, she's my friend that's established. I just wish I could tell her that she's so much more to me than that ,she's my confidant, my supporter, my love , my addiction, she's my everything.

Sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way, as a matter of a fact I'm almost assured that she does. It's in the way she laughs at me when I make my smart ass comments, the death stares she gives any and every girl I'm with, the light butmeaningful touches we shareand I swear I catch her staring at me when she thinks I'm not looking.

Yeah, she feels the same way alright but is it enough? I just wish she wouldn't be so scared, I wish I wasn't so scared to make the first move. I'm literally dying here, holding her in my arms, I feel so free, but at the same time restricted.

In a perfect world she would be lying in my arms after we made love and in a perfect world I would be free to touch her and kiss her, but the way it is now I can only hope that she sleeps for a little bit longer, so I can admire her beauty for just a couple moments more.

I want to shout it off the roof tops " i love Spencer Carlin!", but I want her to come to me first I'm tired of always making the first move; really I'm scared of the rejection. I've been rejected by almost everyone in my life and I've gotten over that but if Spencer rejected me, I couldn't begin to bear the pain that would cause. So for now even if it's not in the capacity I want, friends it is. I have no plans on making it easy for her though to be "just friends" with me, if dressing especially nice for her, if flirting with other girls in front of her is what it takes for her to admit her feelings for me. Than that's exactly what I'm going to do.

It might be manipulative, maybe even a little immature, but if it helps Spencer admit her feelings to me than I'll do whatever it takes, because I can't be Just friends with her, but I also can't put my heart on the line, because she could be the to really break it.

Thanks guys. more up soon.