Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto.
A/N - Did you see Sasuke and Naruto as babies? Aw, so adorable.
* Contains Spoilers *
Beyond This Illusion
.::Chapter One::.
"The person that you truly love, and the one that truly loves you, are never the same person."
It was precisely three months after Sasuke's return when he had asked her to heal his eyes. And she had. She looked at his eyes every day for a week, studying, observing.
Noting the chakra patterns and how he was becoming more sensitive to the light.
After she examined him, he would lay down with his head in her lap and she would repair the damage done. Fix severed cells, repair his deteriorating cornea.
No words would be exchanged between the two of them, other than a quiet and reluctant 'thank you' when she was finished. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, Sakura preferred it. Because with Sasuke, anything other than silence meant trouble.
So that's why Sakura was surprised that he spoke to her during one particular healing session.
"I told you that you could fix my eyes." He stated cockily.
"Your vision is improving." She noted, mumbling to herself, and then scribbling something down on a notepad.
"Yes."
"That's good then."
His head was still resting in her lap, his eyes closed. She sensed that his chakra was relaxed, he was relaxed. At least he trusted her enough to let his guard down around her. That said something. She could hear his steady and even breathing as she worked. He opened his eyes to stare at her.
"What?" she murmured, feeling self conscious.
"Sakura. There's something I need to ask you." His tone was serious, yet calm.
She rolled her eyes. "Why so talkative today?"
She wouldn't admit that she enjoyed it.
Then Sasuke did something very un Sasuke-like, and rest his hand atop hers briefly, before taking her hands away from his temples. He dropped his hands, resting them on his chest and sighed.
"We're seventeen."
Sakura nodded.
"I need to restore my clan." Were his blunt words. Sakura's heart raced in her chest. What in the hell was he alluding to? She hoped he didn't think she would…
"So?" she looked away. She knew what he was about to say.
"I need you to help me find someone to restore it with."
Oh.
Wow.
She suddenly felt like an idiot.
Why would Sasuke pick her to restore his clan with anyway? It's not like he's spared her any pleasantries before, so why would he now? She bit her lip,
"What makes you think I want to spend my time helping you look for a girlfriend? You're not exactly boyfriend material."
He sat up and looked at her. "Because you're my teammate."
Then more quietly, "My friend."
It was ironic how just by a few words, Sasuke could make her heart flutter. Could persuade her to do anything he wanted her to do. It was unfair, if anyone asked her. And since when was she his friend anyway? He sure never acted as if she was his friend. She vocalized her thoughts.
"Sakura," he sighed, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. And in that sigh Sakura found his answer. She knew him too well.
She knew he wouldn't act like Naruto, not outwardly. But he cared for her and valued her as a person. He just went about things differently.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. Look, I'm glad you're back. But since you've been back the only thing you came to me for was a favor. Friendship doesn't work like that. Yes, you go to your friends when you need something. But that's not the only time you do. And if they ever need anything, you have their back."
He didn't say anything.
"Alright. I'll…help you. But Sasuke, this won't be easy. You have to find a girl and win her over. Well, that part won't be hard. But you can't just treat her like crap. You have to care for her and love her. If you want to start a family with her, then it's only fair that you love her. Otherwise, you'll just be using her."
Sasuke examined me carefully for a moment. "I don't love."
Sakura bit her lip. She knew this. She didn't expect him to jump out and fall in love with a girl. Not after all he's been through. "Then find a girl that you care about."
Sasuke didn't blink. "I care about you."
It was amazing, Sakura thought, how Sasuke could just keep staring at her as if this whole thing was casual. How he could remain so emotionless.
"Yes, that's all fine and dandy but –"
Sasuke cut her off.
"I trust you."
"Sasuke, no."
He tilted his head. "Why not?"
Because if I do this for you, I'm afraid I'll fall in love with you again. And I know you won't love me back.
"Because I'm not your personal baby maker." She crossed her arms.
And because I'm still a virgin and I'm scared to have sex with you.
Sasuke stood up, and was about to leave when –
"Fine. I'll think about it. But, but I don't want…"
"Sakura I wouldn't expect you to just bear my children. I would go through the whole process. I'd marry you."
She looked away. But it wouldn't mean anything.
"You realize that if I do this for you, I'll never fall in love? I'll never be able to be with someone and be happy."
Sasuke knelt down and tilted her chin with his thumb. "I can't love you," He admitted. "But I can make you happy."
He stood again, and looked down at her. "I understand if you refuse." And he did. He wouldn't deny her the happily ever after she dreamed of. But he also thought that it was unrealistic of her to have such expectations of a boyfriend. Love was corrupted anyway. It was never like it was portrayed to be in the books. And as a ninja, she should know that their life was more about practicality.
And then he had left her, without another word. Left her to ponder her thoughts.
It would be days before she saw him again. And when she did, she still didn't have an answer. Part of her knew that she could never refuse Sasuke, and the other part wanted to refuse him because he didn't deserve all that she did for him. And she did deserve to be happy. She doubted Sasuke could make her happy, when he made her miserable in the past.
If he thought buying her stuff would make her happy, then he had another thing coming.
They met at the training grounds, just like a normal day. Naruto was there, along with Sasuke. They were already sparring when Sakura arrived. So, with nothing to do, Sakura plopped on the ground and watched them.
"Hey," she warned as Sasuke breathed fire at Naruto, "no burning. I don't feel like healing that right now."
Sasuke met her gaze and rolled his eyes.
"You're not fighting to the death." She reminded them.
After a few hours of them sparring – and Kakashi still not being there, Sakura began cutting herself with the kunai, and then healing her wounds just to keep herself busy.
Finally, Naruto and Sasuke called it quits.
"Tie?" Sakura pondered as the two of them nodded. That was typical. They almost always tied.
They both plopped down next to Sakura, allowing her to heal them. "It's so not fair." She commented, while popping Naruto's dislocated shoulder back into place. "I never get to spar most of the time. Kakashi never shows!"
"You can always spar with me, Sakura-chan." Naruto supplied.
She didn't reply. After a few moments – and a lot of chakra wasted – the three of them were lying down in the grass.
Sakura turned to Sasuke for a moment. "I'll do it." She said casually.
Sasuke looked at her for a moment, measuring her gaze.
Then he turned away from her and muttered, "Thank you."
Naruto could only blink and stare, wondering what she meant. But before he could ask, Sakura stood up and brushed herself off. She hoped Sasuke didn't really want to rush things because she wasn't ready to have sex yet. She mentally flinched. She was going to have to have sex with Sasuke. He was going to see her naked. She blushed at the thought.
Then, looking down at Sasuke she asked,
"Sasuke could I talk to you in private?"
For a moment, nothing moved.
Then he stood up silently, shoving his hands in his pockets and walked over to a tree waiting for her to follow. Sakura smiled sheepishly at Naruto and rubbed the back of her head.
"Sorry, Naruto. It's just something important. We'll be right back." She said apologetically.
Naruto narrowed his eyes as Sakura ran after Sasuke. What's going on with those two?
Sasuke wasn't looking at her as she ran up to him.
Sakura took a deep breath before she spoke. "When were you planning on…?"
Sasuke shrugged. "I'm supposed to court you, right?"
Sakura giggled. How old fashioned. She only wished that he really liked her. Sasuke – seemingly offended by her laughter – glared.
"What?" he hissed.
Sakura waved her hand. "Oh nothing. It's just, that sounds so old. No one even calls it courting anymore. People just date." She shrugged, feeling a tad uncomfortable.
"Then we will date."
Sakura crossed her arms, looking away. "You make it sound so business-like." She sighed.
"What do you expect?"
Sakura finally met his gaze, studying his eyes. "From you? Nothing."
Sasuke scowled.
"Don't take it personally, but I think Sai could fake better emotions than you. How do you expect to pull off dating me when you can't even smile for me?"
"Why the hell would I smile?"
He was so hopeless.
"Because, Sasuke-kun, that's what couples do. They're supposed to love each other and make each other happy. But you can't even make yourself happy. So how do you expect to make me happy?"
"Look, Sakura, if you don't want to do it –" He said through clenched teeth.
"No, it's not that. I'm sorry, I'm just a bit bitter. Just, never mind."
Sasuke was silent.
"C'mon Sasuke-kun, let's go." Sakura said, turning on her heels and walking back to Naruto. Sasuke grabbed her wrist, startling her. Looking over her shoulder, Sakura tilted her head questioningly.
But then Sasuke slid his hand from his wrist, into her hand. Sakura smiled, squeezing his hand gently, before walking back to Naruto.
A month went by.
Sakura had a feeling that Sasuke was regretting choosing her. He knew that he couldn't give her what she wanted, yet he was being selfish and taking what he wanted. Even still, he had too much pride to do anything about it.
Sakura didn't know what to expect really with Sasuke. But she came to find that Sasuke was one hell of an actor. He was good about acting like a good boyfriend in public. And surprisingly, when they told everyone they were going out, no one was surprised. It was almost as if people were expecting it to happen. Which worried Sakura a little. Because then, that meant people wouldn't be surprised if they got married soon. Which meant they wouldn't be surprised if they had kids soon…
Sakura didn't want to rush that.
Yesterday, Sasuke had asked – or demanded rather – for her to move in with him.
"It would have happened eventually anyway." Was his reasoning. Sakura had sighed and agreed.
He was draining everything out of her, really. With one demand after the next. But she couldn't refuse him. Just like she couldn't refuse Naruto. But she knew Naruto would never ask this of her. That was the difference between him and Sasuke.
So being that they were ninjas, it didn't take them long to move Sakura's stuff into Sasuke's house. She had always thought that he still lived in the Uchiha manor, but then again, why would he surround himself with those memories?
His house was small, but conventional. It was very tidy, but not homey at all. It felt cold and distant, just like him. Too practical. Sasuke didn't own anything he didn't need.
Sakura was nervous though. Because they didn't bring her bed. Which meant that she was expected to sleep in bed with Sasuke. Everything was happening so fast. He said he would go through the whole process, but to her it seemed as though he was rushing through the entire purpose. And it was all happening extremely fast. Too fast for her liking.
They were in the kitchen, eating lunch. Sasuke was eating a tomato sandwich, and Sakura had some onigiri.
Everything was silent, as per usual. But Sakura had long since grown accustomed to Sasuke's silence; it no longer bothered her as much as it used to. It was just something she'd have to deal with. Possibly forever. Sakura vaguely imagined long conversations in the future, where she'd be the only one talking. She shuttered.
Sakura played with the rim of her tea cup, fidgeting. Things were always awkward with Sasuke. She had to try twice as hard to make up for his blatant lack of trying.
She wondered if he knew that her birthday was in just two days.
She would be eighteen. A legal adult. Someone perfectly capable of – dare she say it – getting married and having children. Sometimes she forgot that she was older than Sasuke. Especially when he seemed so mature all the time.
"What would you like to do today?" she asked casually, trying to stir up a conversation.
She felt awkward in this house. This wasn't her home.
Sasuke shrugged, finishing his tomato.
Sakura leaned forward curiously. "Do you honestly do this all the time?"
He looked mildly puzzled.
"Be silent, do nothing but train. Is that really all there is to you?"
She wasn't really sure how he'd react, but she figured he would be offended.
"What do you expect me to do?" he snapped.
"Oh I don't know, have fun maybe?" was her curt reply.
Sasuke blinked. "Fun." He repeated slowly.
Sakura nodded. "Yeah."
"What's fun?"
Sakura suddenly had the urge to break out and sing the FUN song from SpongeBob, but she refrained herself.
"Well, it's when you're happy." She decided.
Sasuke looked out the window. He didn't need to tell her that he was unhappy. She already knew as much.
Sakura bit her lip, unsure of what to do. Then she stood, smiling. She had an idea.
"C'mon, Sasuke-kun. Let's go have some fun."
Sasuke arched his eyebrow at her, looking up at her blankly.
Sakura took his hand gently, standing him up.
"We're going to go for a walk." She declared, dragging him out of the house.
Suprisingly, Sasuke allowed her to do so.
"How is that fun?" he inquired.
She looked back at him, "Well, because it's spring. Everything's blooming. It looks really pretty." She shrugged sheepishly, unable to explain.
But Sasuke pulled his hand away as if hers were on fire, shoving it in his pockets. "Sakura, I don't have time for childish games." He said coldly.
The smile on Sakura's face instantly vanished. She clutched the hand he dropped to her chest, and nodded slowly. "Oh."
Before he could do any more damage, she continued on her way out the door.
A/N - Yeah, I know he's a douche. But I don't want to make him too OOC, ya know? Review please 3 !