In her sixteenth week of pregnancy Katniss was beginning to get back into the public eye.

She went to the orphanage to visit the children of the Capitol. In the car ride over she was hesitant and nervous not knowing if she was good with children or not.

When she stepped inside her whole point of view changed. She never held or hugged more children in the entirety of her life. She kissed many smiling children. Press took pictures and many children drew her pictures too.

One little boy with green eyes and dark hair pulled on the skirt of her dress and asked for a dance. She picked him up and twirled him. He giggled and she did too feeling like she had done a world of good.

One little boy requested a first kiss and she gave him just that.

A little girl with blonde pigtailed braids wanted to feel her baby. Where another little girl requested that they sing together. All the while she was being recorded and photographed.

Returning home she ate quickly and sparingly before going up to her room she was about to sleep when she saw 'A Little Princess' on her bedside. Still untouched from the time she had to push it away.

She had to pick it up. And so she read until yet again she could bear it no more,

"Don't tell me you still fancy yourself a princess? Child, look around you or better yet look in the mirror." Miss. Minchin scolded Sara.

"I am a princess! All girls are, even if they live in tiny old attics! Even if they dress in rags! Even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young! They're still princesses! All of us, didn't your father ever tell you that? Didn't he?" Sara scolded back.

At that phrase she closed it immediately her hands found her stomach and she traced her baby with her hand. "You're a princess" She whispered softly, "Or a price I suppose. You are and don't let anyone tell you different. You don't need daddy to say so. I'll say it every day you live baby."

She fell asleep rubbing her baby that night and for many nights to come she would say this same thing.

The next fortnight she had no plans and her father had left early in the morning. Katniss was in her room tidying up what the avoxes had missed.

She heard a knock at her door and assumed it was her father. "Come in" She called throwing a few things off balance to make the once unlived bedroom look like it had been used.

"Hello Miss. Everdeen"

"Doctor!" She looked up and almost screamed.

"Hello" He said solemnly, "I didn't mean to alarm you."

"No" She sighed "I was just startled. What bring you here?"

"I wanted to give you something." He looked at the floor still sure that this was the only way. "May I?" He gestured to the plush arm chairs. She nodded and they sat. "Katniss, I know you-"

"Call me Kate" She smiled, "You've saved my life and my baby's"

"Katniss" He continued, "I'm sorry" He slipped a letter into her hand "Don't open this until you are out of Snow's grasp do you understand?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just need to know that he isn't your father. That this side you are a Mockingjay for is not the right side. When the war is over open this letter it will explain everything."

"What?"

"I don't have time to explain." He stood up, "Put it somewhere safe and maybe some day when this cruel war is over you can live freely with your child." She stared intently at the man trying to read him but it was impossible, "Good luck Katniss and please don't forget what I've told you"

She nodded slightly.

"Goodbye" He marched professionally out of the room. Katniss looked intently at the letter she had just received. Surely this man was out of his mind, surely he didn't know what he was talking about.

Nevertheless she put the letter in her book. What ever he meant it couldn't mean much right now, so why should she worry?

She made her way through the mansion letting the things the doctor had said melt away. She wandered into the hedge maze and soon found herself immersed in the late summer setting.

She sat and allowed the sweet smell of flowers to engulf her thoughts. Upon opening her eyes she looked all around her. The flowers were withering the smell was fading. Then she heard the doctors voice, "He isn't your father, this side is the wrong side." These things chanted in her mind.

What was happening to the beautiful world she once knew? What was happening to the world? She asked herself these questions with a sincere heart but sadly could not answer them. As we know she has no memory

Maybe dear reader you should ponder this too. When the flowers die as the seasons change, as wars rage on and time passes as it will in its delicate effortless consistent way, it is not so difficult to wonder. Maybe you could help us understand these many questions.

What is happening to the world? What has happened to us as a people? She could not recall the past years but reader you can what has happened to us? What is happening to the world?

"Kate!" Katniss turned to find the source of the voice, "Kate!" She heard it again and made her way out of the garden, "Kate!" The shout became more urgent and so she ran out of the garden, "Kate!" She reached the outskirts of the mansion.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she reached her father.

"Kate! The rebels have pushed their boundaries they are even closer to the Capitol than before. It's dangerous for you to be by yourself now." He lead her inside the house.

She followed him to his study where he told her of the next weeks events that had been planed. When the television suddenly grew louder, "Outside the war news we are regretful to say that today Chief of surgery Dr. Schmidt committed suicide by injecting himself with thirty dosages of morphling."

That was all Katniss could hear. Suddenly she was filled with questions. Why did he come to her just hours before he took his own life? Why her? Why did he say those strange cryptic things to her when she had no clue what they meant? Should she have known what those things meant? Well now she may not know.

That night she slept restlessly thinking consistently about that damned letter, for the next week and a half she thought about the doctor.

Why would he want to die? Why did he need to talk to her?

"Miss. Everdeen? Miss. Everdeen?" Reporters shouted as she faded back into reality. "What do you think about the rebels pressing the boarders?"

"I think they should be stopped. They need to stop this madness it's already gotten far out of hand. If we don't stop this soon, well who knows what could happen?"

"Miss. Everdeen! What do you think the Capitol should do next?"

"I'm in no position to predict that but I will say that whatever we are planning should happen soon."

Luckily for her the press conference was over and she was free to leave. Her mind had grown weary from fear, and thoughts of war. She wanted the war over even if the rebels won she just didn't want this war to rage on.

"Come Kate" Her father appeared at her side, "You have an appointment at the hospital"

"For what?" She asked thinking she was done for the day.

"Don't worry it's for the baby"

"Oh" She sighed climbing into the back of the car. She was now at the nineteen week mark and she knew that meant she was almost half way there.

That was another thought she consistently had, the reality of having the baby. For Christ sake she barely knew her own name, how in hell was she going to raise a baby?

She loved the little one she really did but she was just an anxious wreck.

They pulled up to the hospital where she was led into an examination room. She sat alone in the white hospital gown her hands laid on top of her bump.

She bit her bottom lip and fidgeted trying to ease her anxiety.

The door opened and she raised her eyes, "Hello, I'm Doctor Areol. I'll be taking your ultrasound"

She nodded and laid back on the paper covered bed. He messed with some buttons on a machine and she let out shaky silent breaths.

She fixed her hair out of nerves and just flat out tried to distract herself. "You ready?" She nodded rapidly, "Alright" He turned on the screen and placed the wand he had been hold onto her stomach. She sucked in hard because the cold almost seemed to sting.

He turned the screen to face her and started to point at several things. "That's a hand" She looked and saw a weird fuzzy image appear, "That's a foot" he flipped something else on and then the room filled with an odd swishing sound, "That's the heart beat."

She felt like she should be overcome with joy. She wanted to smile at her little ones feet and hands. She wanted to cry at the sound of its heart. Strangely however this just confirmed her doubts her baby was going to be born probably during a war.

Her baby would live in a broken world. "Do you want to know the sex?" She nodded swiftly hoping to make her heart leap at knowing what her baby was. "Well let's see here." He turned the screen to himself and after a few minutes of typing he faced her.

"Congratulations, your having a little girl" She smiled weakly. She was bearing a little princess into a world full of war and death. Could she be sent to hell for such a heinous act? "You can get changed and we'll finish up."

She did so and she gently rubbed her baby in just enough time to feel her little girl kick her softly. "I love you" She whispered before walking back into the exam room.

"Take a seat" He said and so she did. He asked the normal questions that she had been asked before. "Are you alright? You seemed distracted"

"To be honest doctor I don't want to have a baby during a war"

"Well that is to be understood"

Then she began to cry, "God what's wrong with me?"

"You're nineteen weeks pregnant your moods are bound to-"

"No! Why don't I have a clue who my husband is? Why doesn't my child have a father and has a crazy mother instead? Why am I crazy and afraid all the damned time? How will I ever take care of her if I'm like this?"

He said nothing neither of them said anything and for the longest time the only sound that filled the room was Katniss's pitiful sobs. It seemed like time stared at Katniss in her helpless state of panic and anguish.

It was like watching a movie in still shots, when it stops in an awkward place because the thing is so old and then suddenly without warning it starts up again in full swing. She gasped for breath finally attempting to silence her mourning cries. She took a few deep breaths before speaking, "So can I go?" She laughed at herself swallowing hard dabbing tears off her cheeks.

"Are you sure?"

"I will be eventually right?" She stood up to leave as her face slowly returned to its original softness with out contortions of pain.

"Miss. Everdeen"

"Yes?"

"Take care of yourself."

"I will." She promised leaving the room. She went home and didn't eat. She needed a distraction, she reached her room and saw the book the one consistent thing she could and did count on. That book was her escape and now she needed it more then ever before.

She sat on her bed and escaped that night. The night was young and with that book in her hands the night was all hers and she was free to fly away.

She read until the very end. When she closed it she was in tears because of the happy ending. Sara deserved the happy ending she received so maybe… Katniss deserved one too.

Sara's father got his memory back, and saved her from Miss. Minchin. Maybe then Katniss had a chance to get back her memory.

Maybe someday, but for now she would remember the hope a little girl held. She would remember magic and with that she allowed sleep to over take her for the first time in weeks.

The next few mornings she awoke from lovely dreams where she met her little girl an exact replica of herself. She raised the little girl and each morning she awoke with high hopes in her heart that maybe soon this war would end and soon she would be safe.

Her hopes lasted through her shower all the way until breakfast when her father would give her an update on the war. Her hopes returned every night before she would sleep. Because she knew that even in this god damn world her baby would be safe.

One day however her hopes were broken in the usual manner, "Good morning Kate" Her father sighed.

"Nothing good has happened, right?" She asked taking her seat at the dinning table as her back shot pain through her as it had the past few days.

"It seems to be getting worse in-fact" He sighed.

"Well, what has happened?"

"They're getting closer to the city Kate. Everyday they get stronger and everyday they push farther." He sighed, "They've surrounded the Capitol, and we need to scare them into submission"

"How?"

"I'd hate to ask this of you but Kate I need you"

She sighed and glanced at her baby. Today marked the half way mark of her pregnancy. Twenty weeks from now she'll meet her daughter. Everything she did was for her including anything on the war front.

"I'll do whatever it takes"

Now reader I think you must be wondering what is happening on the other side of this whole ordeal. Yes I mean Peeta, well you'll be happy to know he's just fine but let's check in on them shall we?

For the past few months he'd been beating himself up over and over again. He let them take her. He let them get away with the love of his life. She had just agreed to marry him, she HAD married him and he let them take her from him.

"You know she's fine" Haymitch said as he always did. "We've seen-"

"Yeah I know" He responded in the usual manner. He did know he's seen the promo's she taped, months had passed since a new one was out.

Little did he know that his leader President Coin was filtering any video of Katniss's pregnancy so keep everyone shut up on the matter of saving her.

"We'll find her" Haymitch said.

Then Peeta said something he normally wouldn't, "I keep wondering if we'll ever find her. Johanna said she hadn't seen her since the arena. I'm starting to wonder-" He choked back a sob because no matter how many times this thought came to him it never ceased to make him emotional, "If they killed her"

"They wouldn't do that" Haymitch said, "They need her for-"

"For leeway? They why haven't we seen her begging for help? Or why haven't they USED her like that?" At this Haymitch was silent.

"Peeta?" Finnick (Yeah I couldn't kill him) stood at his door way. "I know it's hard, I do I remember when they had Annie but you have to keep believing in her will to survive"

"But… It just seems so useless. How do we know?"

"We don't" Finnick took a few steps closer to Peeta, "We just have to believe"

"But I'm so convinced she's dead I'm afraid she's not" He let tears roll down his cheeks, "What if they're torturing her like they did to Johanna?" He remembered the horrifying details Johanna had described to him about her torture fearing the worst and having no hope.

"They may be" This was something no one had said to him before, "and when we get her back she may have a long road ahead of her." Now they were both crying imagining Katniss mauled mentally and physically "But you have to be there right beside her every damned step of the way"

"Hey" The two crying men looked over to the door way where an sympathetic looking Johanna stood. Lord she never looked that way something had to have gone drastically wrong, "There's a transmission coming in from Snow"

Finnick and Peeta dried their eyes and headed to the viewing area right behind Haymitch. Peeta sat in the very front row. The transmission came in fuzzy at first and frankly Peeta didn't pay any attention till he heard her name, at the mention he sat erect eyes dead on the film.

"She's got just a few things to say about this whole ordeal." Suddenly the bottom half of the video was gone but there was her face in a dark room. In the top right hand corner was the video they were showing her.

It was fighting, bad fighting explosions everywhere, blood splattered the screen and Katniss's hand flew to her mouth. Watching the fighting she began to hyperventilate behind her hand. Her eyes grew exponentially and good god Peeta almost couldn't watch but everyone was watching him.

Tears streamed down both of their faces. He wanted to hold her and wipe the fear from her face but he couldn't he knew he couldn't. But he imagined he could simply reach out and caress her face and softly kiss her cheeks and tell her that those things she was seeing never happened.

He opened his eyes and sadly watched her crying without the comfort of anyone at all.

The war film showed a soldier's face blow straight off and Katniss screamed like no one had ever heard before. As the film neared the end she hid her face and screamed again.

"Is this really worth it? Is this war really worth it?" Someone screamed at her.

"No" She whispered traumatized by what she has just witnessed. "No… No… No…" She began to cry again.

"Then why is this still happening?"

"I don't know" She whispered.

"Get her out of here" Snow called and the screen suddenly fixed itself so it was whole again. "You see what you do to your own allies? Do you see what war can do?" And on that cryptic note he was gone.

Peeta Mellark had never hated himself more then in that exact moment. He abruptly stood up and left only one thought vibrated in his mind, What have I done?

Katniss cried herself to sleep that night her mind plagued with gory images. Some of the soldier's faces were replaced with those of her child. In the night she tried to save her, in the bleak darkness of the world at the night she would cry out for her daughter, and this vicious cycle would follow well into her twenty-sixth week of pregnancy.

He sat on his cot crying shaking violently.

Finnick knelt next to him "Peeta, it's okay-"

"No! It's not! It's not okay!" He stood up and looked around his room for help. Good god is there no mercy in this world?

"Peeta-"

"Shut up!" He said softly with insane intensity.

"No sweetie don't!" She cried out in her sleep as she watched her daughter blown to bits. For the third time that night she woke up, two-thirty in the morning. She felt her daughter kicking saying "I'm still here mommy"

"I love you princess" She cried and attempted to fall back into pain filled slumber.

"She needed me" he said with the same intensity. "And what did I do? Nothing!" He spat.

"Do you think you're helping anyone by saying those things?" Finnick shook his head

"For once in my life I don't give a damn."

"I won't let them hurt you!" Katniss cried as another dream finished. This time she died holding her baby. Again she cried vowing to her princess she would keep her safe.

"Peeta-"

"Haymitch I don't care what you have to say" Peeta growled.

"Fine then" Haymitch said calmly. He stared at Peeta and as hard as he could punched him into unconsciousness.

"I swear princess, you won't know what war is. You will be free and happy and loved. I swear" Katniss didn't sleep and she didn't sleep for a long time.

So I'm not sure how obvious it is that I never read the last book, but I didn't I had it totally spoiled for me and so I never read it. And then this happened. If I messed up really bad please tell me so because I would feel awful if no one told me.