Aaaand-
Another chappie of APP!
Enjoy, my dear readers! And a cookie for dem reviewers! :D (::)
Marth: Well, aren't you generous. And... *looks at plot* Oh god, do I really-?
Yes. Shut up.
*clears throat* ON WITH THE STORY!
The few people who were in the kitchen were digging into their breakfasts of pancakes, bacon, toast, waffles and whatever the hell was on their plates at the moment. Ike was noisily munching on a chicken wing. Toon Link was downing a glass of milk, wondering where in Hyrule Popo, Ness and Lucas were, Peach was flipping pancakes (like a boss) Kirby was sucking in everything in sight (including other Smashers) and soon every Smasher present was involved in a HUGE food fight. (Totally normal.)
Yep. Everybody not present were still snoozing in their beds.
Except the trio of troublemakers.
"HOLY MOTHER OF CRUD, WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO?"
"Shh! STFU Ness!"
"Yelling that doesn't help, you know!"
"I DUN CARE! WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIEEEEE-"
"I SAID SHUT UP ALREADY!"
"Guys! At least analyze the situation for a moment!"
"THAT AIN'T YO JOB!"
"Yes it is, Popo! We assigned each of our group to a specifi-"
"SHUT UP AND RUN!"
"CAN WE STOP ACTING LIKE CRIMINALS?"
The noise of the food fight downstairs drifted upstairs quietly, the huge corridor somehow managing to make the ruckus vaguely sound like footsteps. Keyword VAGUELY.
"CRAP! I THINK SOMEONE'S COMING!" Popo screamed. And of course, as panicked as the three were, they couldn't tell the difference between a food fight and a person.
The trio dived in through a random blue-painted door, which they assumed it led to an empty room.
Three words.
BIGGEST. MISTAKE. EVER.
"AWW SONUVA-"
"FUDGE-A-DUCK!"
"We're dead."
"GUCHI NO ANATA WA SUKOSHI HITO NO MUSUKO!"
Downstairs, the Smashers were blissfully unaware of the slaughter going on not too far away. Food was flying everywhere, Peach and Zelda were desperately trying to stop the food fight, and the others were throwing pie in each other's faces. (What? Those weren't even part of the breakfast...) Even the ever-so-uptight Meta Knight was throwing maple syrup. Ike was hoarding the meat and throwing random slabs of it when someone came too close. Kirby was protecting himself by sucking in any projectiles that happened to come his way. After spitting out a few Smashers he ate earlier. Fox was slapping Wolf in the face with a slap of cheese. Wolf was majorly getting pwnd. Toon Link somehow got his hands on a machine gun and went into evil-dictator mode, shooting scrambled eggs everywhere. Link was buried under a giant heap of sandwiches with Red. Pit? He disappeared.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I VILL KEEL U ALLLLLLLLL"
...That wasn't me. Ask Toonie.
"DAMN YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SLABS OF CHEESE!"
"Tough luck Wolf!"
"Guys! Easy on the language!"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, WOMAN"
"HIIII!"
"What did you SAY?" Peach charged forward to maul Wolf with a frying pan.
"Help!"
"Not now, Link! Trying to make some peace here!"
"I said: HELP!" Link stuck his arms out of the pile of sandwiches, flailing.
"NO! NOT NOW!"
"You say I'm BORING? WELL I'LL SHOW YA BORING!" Cue Meta Knight flying around with a water gun full of syrup.
"Gah! Maple syrup in my eye!"
"MY CHICKEN"
"ALL HAIL CARTOONS"
A (manly) scream from Wolf's direction. Peach was hunting him down with a sniper.
"GREAT... PIZZA!"
"What the fuck, Ike!"
Ike had finally decided to move out of his meat fort and cause mass destruction with a pizza alongside Toon Link.
"GUYS, HELP ME!"
"HIII!"
"I'M BEING SUFFOCATED BY A SAMMICH!"
"PREPAH YAHSEHLFS!"
"NOT NOW, LINK!"
"WELL I'M BEING SUFFOCATED BY YOUR HAT!"
"GET BACK HERE WOLF SO I CAN KILL YOU, 1-UP YOU, AND KILL YOU AGAIN!"
"NEVAAAA"
And that's when Pit decided to charge in from the kitchen on a terrifying mixture of a sugar high and caffeine rush. I have no idea how he managed to get that at 11 in the morning that quickly.
"'ELLO, GOVNAH! lakdsjflafj!"
"Why is everybody talking in caps lock?!"
"WHY ARE YOU BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?"
"SCOOOOONNNEEEEESSS"
"HIII!"
"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A CANIDAE!"
"EAT EGGS!"
Multiple screams and the mechanical whirring of a machine gun firing scrambled eggs.
"*insert Japanese gibberish about chicken conquering the world here*"
"lkdsfj;alsfjl;skdfj;lasdkfjsldaf! heyguysdidjahearthascreamingfromupstairs?!;lfajdsl f jdal;fjj;salfj"
Isn't it weird that Pit was the only one to notice the screams from the floor above them?
Even weirder that everybody else was still asleep even through the combined noise of the massive food fight and said screams of torment upstairs.
And that nobody heard Pit who crashed through a window and was flying loop-the-loops outside.
Upstairs, all hell was breaking loose in the form of a grouchy, crabby, sleep-deprived and verypissed off Altean. The three kids were whimpering for mercy while the Altean bellowed at them in Japanese, drowsiness preventing him from approaching the situation with more discipline. Luckily, Lucas and Popo weren't able to understand what the prince was screaming at them in rapid-fire Japanese.
Completely different story for Ness. He was sobbing and flinching at every second word. Better not ask him what Marth was screaming, for the sake of this fic remaining T rated.
He was gonna be scarred for life.
That's when Marth decided to grab Falchion and charge at them, making the three scream, jump up, and run, trying to escape with their lives. Popo and Lucas were forced to drag a sobbing Ness.
Ike suddenly snapped out of pizza-Ragnell mode and dropped the slice of pizza he was assaulting Meta Knight with. His eye twitched.
"Oh god no." Everybody froze in place to see why Ike suddenly stopped in his ruthless rampage for worldwide meat conquest.
He turned to the others with his face as white as a sheet. Everybody else blanched when they saw the terrified expression on the mercenary's face. Peach dropped her sniper. "Is it bad?" Red asked, sticking his head out of the sandwiches and spitting Link's hat out.
"Somebody woke Marth up."
Link immediately jumped out of the sandwich pile and ran for his life, not even bothering with his hat (Why couldn't he have done that earlier?), while the tomato sauce and maple syrup smeared Meta Knight teleported away with his Dimensional Cape. Toon Link squeaked, dropped his egg-gun and ran after his older counterpart. Everybody else stared at him in confusion.
Well, whatever questions they had were answered when Popo, Ness and Lucas charged down the steps, screaming bloody murder (Which was perfectly accurate in this case.). Ness was sobbing, blubbering something between the lines of losing his innocence in Japanese, Popo was too scared to even scream, and Lucas was yelling for help. All three were seriously scuffed up.
And what they saw next was so shocking that some bolted and some couldn't decide whether to laugh or to run away like the other swordsmen. You know who it is.
It was VeryPissedOff!Marth in blue fluffy penguin PJs with a bedhead that could have been worthy of a punk, Falchion clutched in his right hand and tiara clutched in his left.
When the prince spotted the mess in the kitchen, everybody present knew they were doomed. Said Altean let out a scream of rage at the huge mess (courtesy of his neat-freak genes) and began trying to Critical Hit everybody in the room, luckily managing to miss every time.
That's when Ike attempted the impossible.
Talk some sense into the drowsy and crabby prince.
...
Upon which he promptly got kicked in the nuts.
Hard.
"SONUVABETCH!" The poor mercenary squeaked, his voice one or two octaves higher than it should have been.
"SEIKO!" Marth flipped him the bird and passed out in a dead faint when Red hit Marth over the head with a piece of stale bread. (Rhyme! :D)
Ike was rolling on the floor in pain, holding his groin.
And that's when the rest of the mansion woke up. All at once. Seems legit.
Mario came bounding down the stairs, nightcap askew. "What happened-? Oh." The others followed Mario's lead.
The plumber narrowed his eyes at Ike rolling around on the ground in pain, Marth unconscious and Red standing over the Altean with the loaf of bread.
"Alright, who woke him up?" Everybody glared at the three scuffed up troublemakers who looked at their feet.
At least the rest of the day went relatively normal, and the ones who participated in the food fight had to clean up the dining room. Except that Donkey Kong got stuck in the camera while getting screen KO'd. And Marth had no idea whatsoever why everybody ran away whenever he walked into a room. Pit went for a little flight to wear off his caffeine buzz/sugar rush and came back by curfew. Ness meanwhile recovered, acting normal again. Everyone was asleep by 10.
During that, the magic of the crystal was slowly working its way through the bodies of a few select Smashers.
Well, looks like we'll have to wait till they wake up tomorrow.
Filler! xDDD *shot*
Sorry, I just wanted Marth to go berserk over someone messing with his sleep. The real stuff'll happen next chapter :P Sorry, but the part with Marth waking up was absolutely necessary for me .3.
Ciao till next chapter!
As for the occasional shout in Japanese from Marth, use Translate. ;P
Marth: Not my fault they woke me up with their screaming, it's as if all hell broke loose, honestly.
*slaps duct tape on his mouth*
~Scales out!