"Mr. Tetch, you haven't spoken for nearly five minutes. Is something on your mind?" Dr. Leland's words were barely registered by Hatter as he tapped warily on the arm of the chair he sat in. It had been four days since Dormouse had gone missing from his tea table, and she still hadn't returned whenever he finally went back to his Wonderland. It was at this moment that Hatter was beginning to truly believe his tiny colleague was lost to him, and he still was unable to find anyone worth representing her in the real world. He feared that it may be too late.
Hatter's sad eyes lifted to peer at Leland, and he gave a great sigh.
"I've been contemplating, Joan..." he said lazily. She tilted her head to the side and picked up her pen to note his oddly depressing tone.
"About words that begin with the letter 'M'?" she asked, believing he'd begun with his Wonderland quotes. Hatter frowned at her.
"Of course not. Why on earth would I do that?" he asked. "Contemplating words that begin with the letter 'M'. How ridicu-" he cut himself off, his eyes beginning to bug as he realized what he'd nearly said. He clapped his hand over his mouth "Oh, my..." he mumbled. Leland was writing furiously now. This was the first time she'd ever heard Hatter say something like that. Was this a possible breakthrough?
"Mr. Tetch, why would you say something like that?" she asked when she was done writing. Sweat had broken on Hatter's brow, and he shook his head at her question.
"H-haven't the foggiest..." he said when he removed his hand from over his mouth. But he did. He just didn't want to share that information with her. But he blinked when he realized that she may possibly be able help him. She was a psychiatrist too, after all. It wouldn't help to get a second opinion on the matter. "Er," he began, "well I do have the foggiest, but it's rather...disturbing..." he said, and Leland leaned forward, beckoning him to go on.
"Tell me, please." she said. Hatter gripped the fabric of his jumpsuit nervously.
"Um...Joan...I fear I may be...progressing..." he said, flinching at his own words. Leland's eyes widened as she took in what he said.
"How so, Mr. Tetch?"
"Well, first of all...Dormouse is still missing..." he said. Leland quirked a brow at that, but decided to question it after he was done speaking. "And now I'm ridiculing quotes from Lewis Carroll..." he went on to mumble a string of other things that Leland could barely hear. "The whole situation has rather put me off my tea..." he finally said.
"Mr. Tetch, what are you implying through all of this." sha asked. Now Hatter was really shaking, strands of his blonde hair falling over his face.
"Joan...I fear I may be l-losing Wonderland..." he said. He splayed his hands in front of him and stared at them. "I can feel it slipping ever so gently from my fingertips...it frightens me..." He looked up at her shocked face, which she quickly masked before removing her large circular glasses.
"You mean to tell me that you are receding from your mental world?" she asked. Was that a happy tone? Hatter really couldn't tell for sure.
"Yes, I believe I am..." he said. "Joan, I think I'm going sane..." he said the final word bitterly, wishing he'd never had to say it. 'Sane' was a word he preferred to keep miles away from his vocabulary, and now here he was saying it.
"That is..." Leland said, "incredible, Mr. Tetch. You should be proud of yourself." Hatter's mouth fell open at that and he stared at her in disbelief.
"How the devil is any of what I'm currently experiencing at all incredible? It's terrible! I may as well be being pulled apart by a group of Jub-Jub birds!" he exclaimed. "There is no pride being felt here, Joan! I'm losing Wonderland! It's not incredible! It's..it's..." Tears fell down Hatter's cheeks, and he sat roughly back in his seat. "It's very bad..." Leland cleared her throat after an awkward moment of silence, and placed her glasses back on her face.
"Mr. Tetch, I understand that you are losing a valuable part of yourself, going through all this. But you need to understand that there is so much good to come from it. If this progress continues, you'll soon be heading out the doors to this asylum-"
"And straight into a prison cell..." Hatter said. Leland furrowed her brow at this.
"Excuse me?"
"You make it sound like I'll be released after obtaining my sanity..." Hatter said, his voice hollow, and flat. "No I won't. I've killed many, many people, Joan. They're not just going to hand me my release papers when they figure out I can think rationally. They'll transfer me to a prison. Blackgate, possibly." he said. Leland gave a small sigh, knowing that he was correct.
"But, even so..." she said gently in an attempt to reassure him. "You'll still be sane." Hatter only scoffed, and crossed his arms. God, she just didn't get it, did she? No, of course not. Nobody understood.
"What the bloody hell is sanity worth, when you have nothing but a cell to reside in?" he asked.
"I'm afraid I don't understand..." Leland said. Hatter smirked.
"Of course not, of course not." he said. "You've never spent months at a time in solitary confinement, with your arms strapped to your sides by fabric and buckles. I have, multiple times. And each and every time, Wonderland was always there for me to escape to. While I sat there in a tiny dark cell, I was really taking tea with my friends, not a care in the world and having ever so much fun." Hatter's expression became dark then. "I couldn't imagine having to sit there in the dark for hours, staring into nothingness, with no one to talk to. And if this keeps up...if this keeps up, I'll lose my escape...just the thought of that is enough to drive me mad all over again..." he finished sadly.
"Mr. Tetch..."
"My Wonderland may be heckled most of the time by my colleagues, but even they respect my ability to completely emerse myself into an entirely different world while stuck in here. While they stare at a wall, I have an entire landscape to explore. It's a form of madness that people would truly kill for. And now...I'm losing hold. I don't even know why. I just want everything to be all better...I want to see Dormouse again..." Hatter rest his head on Leland's desk, staring down at the floor. "I'm doomed, Joan...ever so doomed. The future looks bleak and dull...colorless...no frabjous days ahead. Just...reality..."
"Well, Mr. Tetch." Joan said as she took more notes. "Even if you find reality to be so dull you'll eventually realize that even this place can be it's own sort of Wonderland. You just have to find a way to understand that. You will. I have faith in you."
"If you believe that, you're dumber than the Dodo, Mary-Anne..." Hatter said with a short, joyless laugh.
"I'm sorry?" she asked. Hatter sat up then, his eyes distant as he regarded her.
"I say, Mary-Anne..." he said dreamily. "Aren't you supposed to be retrieving Rabbit's gloves? Better get along before you're late for croquet..." he said. Leland sighed at this knowing that he wouldn't be back for hours from his imagination. The session was over. She called in the guards to escort him back to his cell, and they came in and cuffed him before hauling him to the door. He stopped abruptly before they could exit, and turned back to Leland. "Oh, yes, I have a question, Mary-Anne..." he said.
"Uhm, yes?" she asked.
"Have you by chance seen Dormy, anywhere? I've been looking all over for her..." he said. Leland paused when she saw the intense amount of hope written on his face. She sighed.
"N-no, I didn't. I'm sorry." she said. The hope disappeared, replaced by disappointment.
"Oh...alright. Goodbye, Mary-Anne..."
"Yes, goodbye..." As the door closed, Leland looked back down at her notes. There were many. And they revealed more than any other sessions with Jervis Tetch combined. Within ten minutes, Jervis poured his heart out. Yes, this was indeed signs of progress...
But after what he said, Leland wasn't sure whether or not to be happy about that.
...
Two days later, Hatter wasn't any better. He was shutting himself up more than usual in his frantic attempt to keep his world glued together. Constantly muttering under his breath and pulling at his yellow hair, he began to make even the other Rogues feel a tad bit uneasy. His disheveled appearance and unusually psychotic ramblings made him look like he was on the verge of exploding, and they didn't want to be within his vicinity if it happened. After all, the Mad Hatter had immense potential to become one of the most dangerous criminals in their group.
While at dinner, Hatter seemed to be interrogating his food, earning more wary glances from his colleagues. All except Crane, who was the only one who felt nothing at all towards Hatter's odd behavior. Having been Tetch's closest friend for years, much to the doctor's dismay, he was used to Hatter's episodes. Ignoring Hatter, and anyone else, he went on with his meal, his mind set on new formulas for his future experiments.
That is, until he was poked in the side by someone on his right. Grumbling, he looked over to see Harley staring at him with wide blue eyes.
"What is it, Harleen..." he asked her in annoyance. He preferred to call her by her proper name, since she'd once been a rather brilliant doctor who worked just under him when he headed Arkham. He'd rather remember the level-headed woman, instead of the bubble-brained nitwit in front of him now. Harley pointed to Hatter, who was still speaking to his mashed potatoes.
"Can't you work with him on this? You're a psychiatrist..." she said, her usual Jersey accent gone. She was serious. Crane rolled his eyes.
"Why must I do it? You are a doctor as well. Why not you-"
"Because I am not the March Hare, am I?" she said. Crane scoffed at the remark.
"Yes, I'm aware that you are not the representation of an idiot rabbit." he said. Harley tisked at her former boss.
"You're his closest friend, Dr. Crane. He won't listen to anyone like he listens to you. You need to help him-"
"I don't need to do anything-" before Crane could finish, Harley had her plastic spork held against his throat. The other Rogues, besides Hatter, stopped eating and watched intently. Harley dug the tips into his skin before speaking.
"Dammit, Dr. Crane..." she said, her accent returning. "If you don't go over there and help poor Mr. Tetch, I'll rip yer throat out!" she hissed, and Jonathan believed her.
"At least you still have that power of persuasion, Harleen..." he muttered, and slapped her hand away before he stood up and begrudgingly walked over to Hatter and sit. Once he was seated to the right of Hatter, he studied the rambling man for a moment before deciding to speak. "What's your problem..." he said after a minute.
"Oh, March, hello..." Hatter said, not looking up from his food. "It's nice of you to join me..."
"I couldn't resist..." Jonathan grumbled, staring daggers at Harley for a moment. Harley noticed, and stuck her tongue out at him. He curled his lip, returning his attention to Hatter. "What's your problem?" he asked again.
"I'm losing my mind, only opposite..." Hatter said.
"You mean you're regaining your sanity..."
"Yes, precisely."
"I really don't believe that, but we can roll with it..." Jonathan said. "Suppose you were regaining your sanity. What's wrong with that?"
"Everything, March." Hatter answered, stabbing the potatoes now. "No more Wonderland..." Crane nodded at this.
"Alright, so you don't want to lose your Wonderland...what have you been doing besides sniveling in order to keep from losing it?" he asked. Hatter looked up at Crane then.
"Why I'm looking for Dormouse, of course. She's the key. You said it. You remember!" he said. "You said her disappearance was the start of it all going away. If I find her, everything will be better again, and we'll have tea, and we'll have so much fun..." Hatter seemed like he was beginning to hyperventilate.
"Tetch, take some deep breaths before you pass out..." Crane said, mentally noting Hatter's words. Hatter did as instructed, and went back to staring at his food. "So..." Crane went on. "If you find this...Dormouse...you'll stop acting like more of an idiot than usual?" he asked. Hatter nodded limply.
"I've been searching ever so much, March..." he said. "Every chance I get, I'm looking around as best I can. But no one fits. Only Dormouse is Dormouse, and there are no Dormice here!" Hatter pushed away his food and buried his face in his hands. Jonathan gritted his teeth, an awful plan forming in his mind. He glanced back over at Harley, who watched him like a hawk. He cursed, and smacked the table.
"I'll...help you out..." He muttered. Hatter's head shot back up and he turned to his colleague in shock.
"You'll...you'll what?"
"I'll...help..." Jonathan said with clenched teeth. "Anything to make you stop blubbering everwhere..." he said. Hatter's face lit up then, something he hadn't done in a long while. He reached over and hugged Crane tightly, who stiffened at the contact. The other Rogues snickered, and he cast them a dark look, promising evil things if they didn't shut it. He pushed Hatter off of him and smoothed out his jumpsuit. "Don't ever do that again..."
"Oh, Marchy, this will be so much fun!" Hatter said. Jonathan hooded his eyes at that.
"Yes...hooray..."
"But why are you doing this?" Hatter asked curiously. "You're not the type to do favors. Curiouser and curiouser..." Crane looked back at Harley. She smiled wide at him and ran her finger over her neck to remind him of what would happen if he wasn't helpful. His expression was stony as he looked back to Tetch.
"Let's just say I don't have a damned choice..."
...
Author's Note: Yay, Jonathan is so helpful when he's forced to be! ;)
Thoughts? Comments? Please review! :)