Excerpts From The Mayor's Journal: Part Two
November 13 : Things haven't gotten any better. In fact it feels like everything is nothing more than a very bad dream. I kept wishing I would just wake up and find myself in my comfortable bed and all my family is well and together once more.
If only.
All the girls are acting more like zombies. They go through the motions of every day life but not much more than that. Even Sally. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying (and in fact so are mine) but she knows life must go on, some how. We cannot stop living just because we lose a loved one. But it is so hard. How can I go on without my Jojo?
Every morning his empty chair passes by and every morning my heart gets torn apart even further. Sally hasn't entered his room since yesterday. I suppose she is pretending he is still in there, composing a new tune or sketching out some new musical invention. As long as she doesn't open that door she can keep the illusion intact.
But it is only an illusion, after all.
The bridge to the observatory is halfway finished and it's hoped that by tomorrow they'll be able to get the scooper in. In the meantime the workers are carefully sifting through what scraps they can move. No sign of Jojo yet. Every time the phone rings I jump, my heart in my throat. On one hand I long for the news that they've found him and at the same time I'm dreading it. When they do find him that will be the final cut. No more vain hope that perhaps he's still alive.
But under all that, how could he be? How? Why am I still finding a small corner of my mind the faint pulse, that small belief, that miniscule hope that perhaps, somehow, he had ducked and avoided being crushed from all that material collapsing on top of him? It's impossible, I know. And yet.
Oh Jojo. Jojo. My boy. My son. How can I go on without you? Why didn't I listen to you more? We could have had a few years together anyway instead of me constantly driving you away with this mayor nonsense.
Yes, I said 'nonsense'. Of what importance is this office to me now that I have lost my son? Nothing matters anymore. Nothing.
Oh Jojo. Jojo. I can't type anymore. My eyes are so full of tears I can no longer see the keyboard clearly.
November 14: They're almost finished with the bridge by now, an ugly thick heavy structure replacing Jojo's elegant mobile. I hate to look at it but I know it's needed. The heavier parts cannot be lifted otherwise. They're even bracing up the Cliffside so the added weight won't make matters worse. Why did they allow that building to remain up there in the first place? If it wasn't there, then perhaps Jojo would have found another place and….
No. Trying to find someone to blame will not help the situation. It was there, and this happened. Any other thought in that direction or regret is a waste of time. I need to keep my thoughts focused entirely on regaining my son.
More Whos had volunteered their time to come and and move the smaller pieces around the edges but only a few can be in the building at one time. One wrong piece may be pulled out and the whole pile could collapse even more. I have to keep the hope that Jojo is still alive under there, somehow. I've tried walking all around the mess, tapping here and there and listening for a reply. Nothing.
What was he trying to do? If I had even the slightest notion then perhaps I could work out just where he would have been standing and concentrate my efforts there. But I have no clue and since he never talked about his ideas to schoolmates, or friends or even his sisters, no-one knows.
Even the chairman and the city council had come up and offered condolences and help. I never thought I'd ever see the chairman lose his composure but this had affected even him. He too looked shattered, though I doubt as much as Sally and I. Neither one of us can eat or sleep well. The girls are trying to be strong but I hear them crying in their beds at night and that adds to my pain.
A pall seems to have fallen over Whoville. Everyone goes through their daily routine but it looks wooden, as if they were all merely filling a role in a bad play.
November 15: No, I am not dyeing my fur black! I refuse to give up hope! Until I actually see my son's body before me I will never give up the hope that he's still alive somewhere under there. Stranger things have happened. He's a strong healthy Who and I have no doubt that if he happened to have found a sheltered spot from the collapse he would survive until we uncover him.
Still, I long to hear the return tap or a faint call. I would give up everything, my mayoral crest, my home, anything just to be able to hear something return my attempts to reach him. But the only sounds I hear are the continuing scrapings of pieces being pulled away and outside. Nobody is talking during this, it's eerie, this quiet. No shouts of encouragement, no 'heave ho!'s, just a silent determination of work.
Sally wanted to come up but I told her it's best if she remained home with the girls. I know he's her son as well but I don't want her to see such a mess and have her hopes that he might still be alive be squashed utterly.
She still has him room closed and locked. No-one has been in it since.
I was up at the scene when Ms Yelp sent word to me that Horton was on the horn and wanting to speak. I really didn't want to talk but he's been such a good friend I had to go.
When I broke the news to him that Jojo had had an accident he too was shaken. In fact he couldn't speak again for about twenty minutes. I stood there and listened to his sobs, adding a few of my own. When he was able to talk again he told me he wished he could be down there to help as well and I could hear the tears in his voice. Such a good dear friend. Horton is one of those kinds of friends that all you need to do is know they're near and will support you and you don't even have to say a thing. We just stood there, feeling the comfort of each other's company. It was soothing in a way. Perhaps I should bring Sally up here soon.
But then Horton said something rather startling.
"Mayor," he said, haltingly at first. "I know you're going to think I've gone off the deep end of the pool with this but I've just had a feeling…."
He paused at that and I had to press him to go on. "Feeling? What 'feeling'?"
The horn was silent for a while then he spoke again, low and earnest. "I just have this…feeling that…well….I don't want to get your hopes up or anything but…."
"But what, man! Spit it out!" Unknowingly I imitated the chairman in one of his fits. I couldn't help it. If Horton knew something, anything that could help my son I wanted the information now!
"Idon'tthinkyou'regoingtofindhimthere." Horton spoke so quickly I didn't understand him at first. Then what he had said dawned on me.
"What do you mean? Horton, if you know something…if he's mentioned anything to you, please! Tell me!"
"It's just that…sometimes I have these….I dunno…gut feelings? They often come true, y'know."
"Horton." I took a deep breath. I mustn't lose patience but I was at my wit's end now.
"I don't think Jojo's there. In the observatory, I mean. He isn't."
I didn't reply for a few moments, I just stood there staring at the horn with my jaw dropping, like the idiot the chairman had so many times referred to me as.
"Ah…Mayor? Are you ok? Did you hear me?"
"Horton…but he's…..there's nowhere else…..where else…." I stuttered. My brain just couldn't make sense of this. "Did he tell you something? About his plans?"
"No no. In fact the only time I had ever spoken to him was back when he asked what were you going to do without me. I don't know what it was he was working on."
"But then how do you know….."
A deep sigh came over the horn. "I don't know. I can't tell you how I know. I just do. I seem to know when the river's going to flood a few hours before it happens. I know when there's going to be a glut of fruit on the gorgelapple trees. I just…know. And I know Jojo's not there where you're looking for him."
I didn't reply to that, I just shut my eyes and rubbed my temples. My head was aching from the continuous stress. Don't, Horton. Please don't get my hopes up. If I start believing him and then they bring the news that they've found him finally, I don't think I could stand it. Just don't.
"Mayor?"
"Horton," I said, feeling so old and worn. "Don't do this to me."
"No! I'm not! It's true! Please believe me, Mayor!"
"All right then, where is he? We've looked everywhere else in Whoville. If he isn't there, then tell me where he is!"
It was Horton's turn to become silent and for me to prompt him to reply. "Horton?"
"I can't….tell you where he is. I just know he's not where you think he is."
"Can you at least tell me then, where to look?"
Again the silence. Then, faintly. "Have you checked his room?"
"No." I swallowed hard. "Sally's locked it up. No-one's been in it since."
"There's something there, if you do look. Something small, but it's really important. I feel it's there, in his room. The key to all this."
"Look, Horton, I really don't feel this is the time for some scavenger hunt so…"
"Mayor PLEASE!" His voice came out so loud that it made me flinch. And increased my headache. "You HAVE to go in there and check! It's there! I know it is!"
What is it about hope that when it's died down to a faint ember, one little voice can make it flare up again? Was it desperation? Or just insanity? I swallowed hard again. "What is it I'm looking for again?"
"Eeerrrrrr, something small. Something that you won't be able to understand but someone else would. I'm sorry, mayor. I wish I could make it plainer to you but it's not like I'm getting pictures in my head or anything, I just have this 'feeling'."
"All right. I'll go look. But Horton, if they do find him in the observatory, if this is just a wild goose chase…..I don't know what I'll do. It will hurt so much."
"I understand," Horton said softly. "If it isn't true then you'll probably hate me for the rest of your life. I understand. But you won't! Because he isn't! It's there, Mayor! Really! Please go! Just go and look!"
"Ok. I'll do it. Are…are you going to be around for a while, Horton?"
"I'm not moving from this spot, mayor." came the answer. "I'll be here. Day or night. Whenever you want to talk to me, I'll be right here."
"Thanks, Horton. Thanks for…for just being there."
Family and friends. Those are the only things that help us get through such tough heart-breaking times. Family and good friends.
I have to go back to the observatory now. And Sally will be home. I don't think I'll tell her what Horton said, or even let her see me go into Jojo's room. I'll do it tonight when everyone's asleep.