Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Thanks for the reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

To answer lalaland91's question the story will be in alternate points of view, this one is in Bella's.

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Chapter Two

BPOV

Even though we hadn't slept together for almost a year and a half my arm automatically reached to other side of the bed for him when I woke up. He wasn't there.

A look at the clock told me it was 8.00am, as it was a Saturday I didn't have to get up for work however Max would be looking for breakfast soon which meant I didn't really have that much more time in bed.

Ten minutes later I walked downstairs to the kitchen of my town house which I shared with Max, to make my son some breakfast. As it was a Saturday I knew he would be demanding choc-chip pancakes so I decided to make them for him now, to save him the effort.

I was sliding the last pancake on to the plate when a very sleep ruffled four year old came walking into the kitchen.

"Morning, baby", I smiled at him.

Instead of replying to my greeting he grinned mischievously up at me.

"What ya making?" he asked, pretending he had no idea.

I played along replying, "oh, im just making myself some big, choc-chip pancakes."

Max looked up at me with big eyes and said, "they're for me aren't they?"

I looked at him and said, "I dunno, I'm really hungry today."

He walked towards me and climbed up onto the bar stool on the opposite side of the bench to me and leaned over to me. "Can we share?"

I laughed and pushed the plate towards him.

He smile and carefully picked up a pancake and took as big a bite as his nearly five year old mouth could take. He chewed and swallowed far too fast. "Tastes good, mommy."

Once he was finished I took his plate to the sink and while washing the dishes I said, "what do you want to do today, sweetie?"

"Daddy! Can we go and see daddy?"

I don't know why either of us bothered anymore. Every time I asked him what he wanted to do, he always replied that he wanted to see his father. And every time he asked me if we could I said no.

"We can't see daddy, Max. Besides you get to see him next week remember? Next week's the week you go stay with daddy for a few days."

"I know, but I really want to see him! And you always say no."

"I know, baby but we can't just call daddy now, he's probably already got plans for today." I walked around the bench to sit on the stool next to him. "How about we get ready and then we can go see Aunty Alice and Uncle Jasper today? Does that sound like fun? Then when we get home we can call daddy and you can talk to him."

I took Max into the bathroom and helped him have a bath, he was nearly old enough to do it himself now. Once he was all ready I set him down in front of the television and let him watch some cartoons while I got ready.

As I stood under the spray of the shower I started to wonder why I kept making excuses for Max not to see Edward. It's not that I couldn't see him; the two of us were quite civil around each other now. And I knew that Edward was a great father and that Max love spending time with him. But every time Max asked if we could visit him I said no. Why? Because by saying yes, I was giving in. I had won in court I had got my son for the majority of the time. And far be it for me to go against the courts ruling.

By the time I had finished my shower I had nearly convinced myself into letting Max go and see Edward, nearly but not quite. It was better for Max to have structure and the structure said that he couldn't see Edward till next week, who was I to argue with that?

//

Once the two of us were loaded in my car I called Alice from the road asking that it would be ok if we came for the day. Of course it was.

Alice had been my best friend since college there were absolutely no secrets between us and I loved her like a sister. We had seen each other through love, heartbreak, bad hair cuts, first kisses and sickness.

Alice had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the tender age of 18. Luckily it had been caught very early and fixed before the cancer could spread to any other place in her body. However it made her unable to conceive any of her own children. But as she still had her uterus she could get pregnant with her husband's sperm but with someone else's egg. After three attempts at IVF, however, she and Jasper decided it just wasn't meant to be.

Despite their childless situation you could tell they would make great parents. And they loved Max like he was their own. I could never figure out if they were more excited to see Max or if Max was more excited to see them. It was a very close call.

It was about an hour drive to get to Alice and Jasper's as they had decided on a suburban life in the preparation for children and had decided to stay despite the change in situation.

When I pulled into their driveway Max couldn't get out of the car fast enough, and was squirming in his seat when I went around to help him get out. I picked him up and put him down to stand next to me as I got my bag out of the back of the car, but picked up the wrong end meaning the entire contents fell out.

"Oh dear," I said as I put Max down so I could pick all my things off the back seat. I really wanted to use a much stronger word but you learn not to swear when you have a very influential four year old. Max helped me put everything back in my bag and I realised once again what a spitting image of his father he was.

Even at four his hair stuck out at all ends and despite the colour of his eyes they had the exact same sparkle that Edward's did.

I picked Max up and picked my bag up to hang over my shoulder but when I picked it up there was a small scare piece of paper under it. I picked it up and turned it over. It was a picture of Edward and me on my twenty first birthday.

His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as if he was never going to let me go, his face was kissing my neck and I could tell from the lines around his eyes that he was smiling. I had one hand over his on my stomach and the other reached up to wrap around his head holding him to me. I had my eyes closed and a smile on my face.

I remembered this picture being taken I remember feeling so, so happy and most of all I remember the things that Edward had been whispering in my ear. He had told me he loved me, and had been explaining in detail what he was going to do to me once we left the party. It was a good thing Max hadn't been born yet.

I don't know how long I stared at the picture before Max interrupted my thoughts, "what is it mommy?"

I stuffed the picture back in my bag and smiled at him, "nothing, baby, just an old photo. You ready to see Aunty Alice and Uncle Jasper?"

Without waiting for an answer I began walking towards the house. Alice opened the door before I could knock shouting, "Maxy! I missed you so much!"

"Aunty Alice!" Max said reaching his arms towards his God Mother.

Alice took him from me and gave me a kiss and a one armed hug whispering in my ear, "you look like you need something stronger than coffee."

I laughed nodding my head and followed them into the kitchen where Jasper was reading the newspaper. When he saw me he jumped up and gave me an almost too tight hug which was different from his usual kiss on the cheek. He looked down at my surprised expression, "you looked like you needed that," he explained with a smile.

He walked over to where Alice and Max were talking about something together and gave Max a high five and a hair ruffle. Alice whispered something in his ear and Jasper immediately sweeped a giggling Max on to his shoulders and off into the living room.

Alice looked at me and grinned as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out two beers.

I laughed, "it's a bit early isn't it Alice?"

"It's nearly lunch time besides, you look like you could use it."

"I think you know me too well Alice Whitlock."

"And I think I know you just the right amount of well," she said with a smile. "Now what's the matter, honey? You seemed dazed when you first got here."

I sighed, explaining to Alice what I had found in the car. "I found an old picture of me and Edward, you know the one at my twenty first?" I looked up at Alice before I continued, "and I guess I was just wondering what the hell happened."

The next question Alice asked me was the reason I didn't discuss my divorce with anyone. "Are you sure you did the right thing Bella?"

I breathed out heavily in frustration, "did I do the right thing?! Ali of course I did. How would it have been better for my son to see us fighting all the time? How would have been better for him living in an environment where his parents yelled more than they talked?"

"I know, I know. It's just sometimes when you talk about him, you seem like you still love him." She said carefully.

"Look," I said, feeling bad for letting go the way I did. "There's a part of me that will always love him, he was my first love and kiss, my first everything. And you never forget your first love, but I think we just out grew each other. "I picked up my beer and took a long sip from it. "It's like we were the perfect couple in college and everybody expected us to get married, so we did. I don't even know who we did it for anymore, if it was because we actually wanted to get married or because all our friends and family wanted us to."

I looked up at Alice waiting to see what she would say next, what she did say surprised me. "I think your right."

"What?"

"I think your right, I think you did rush into marriage and I think everyone did expect you to. But really, Bells if your honest with yourself, didn't you want to marry him too? I've never in my life seen two people as in love as you two were. So you can't tell me that there wasn't a big part of you that wanted him too." She paused to take a drink. "Look I understand why you got the divorce, but you can't tell me you didn't want to get married, because I won't believe you."

Funny thing about Alice was that she was usually right.

Max and I stayed there all day it's amazing how the four of us really enjoyed each other's company. And it was good for Max to get away from home for a bit.

By Seven o'clock I packed up a very sleepy Max into the car to begin the drive back to Seattle.

When we got home and I was tucking him into bed he rolled over and mumble, "I want to call daddy."

"Not now, baby you can do it tomorrow, " but he was already asleep. I kissed his head and whispered, "I love you," before turning the light off and leaving the room.

Just before I shut the door I heard a very quiet,"I love you too."