Chapter Two-

"Lewis here."

"Sir," a female voice jumped in. "I've finished my assignment."

"Report," FBI agent Joe Lewis said softly. He wanted to know what exactly had happened so he would know how to proceed. "Tell me everything, Agent Starkey."

"Well," the junior agent started. "I saw her leave from UNCLE's employee's entrance around seven in the evening. At first, I thought it wasn't her because her hair was different from the photo you gave me, but the bone structure and face are correct. She's wearing black stretch pants with a psychedelic print, knit top. There's a denim knapsack slung over her shoulders."

"Where did she go?" Joe prompted. He knew that Monica Lane, now Lexi had dyed her hair since their lunch date a few weeks ago where the photograph was taken.

"She started to walk for a few blocks, took the subway to the Village, and then a bus to a rundown diner near the airport." He could almost hear her shrug her shoulders in disinterest to all the running around in New York. "It's here she met her boyfriend. Good looking if you're into blonds with blue eyes. I prefer…"

"I'm not interested in him or your opinion, Agent Starkey." Lewis angrily blurted out. "Are you sure that he's her boyfriend. Not just a friend?"

"Oh, there's no mistaking it by how they look at each other." Starkey whistled as she casually watched them from the phone on the wall in the back of the diner. "They're leaning in real close and smiling a lot. Sir, what is this all about? I mean, I'm more than happy to do surveillance, but what am I watching for? What does she do at UNCLE that Gibbons would want us to observe her movements and then you bring her in?"

"That is what I'm trying to find out." He grumbled over the phone. "She's the one we found out side of our offices injured. Gibbon's sent me to check on her at their headquarters to find out her condition and what she does there. It's all very guarded."

"Who do you think she is?" She asked, now intrigued. "Is she a new Section Two agent, Section Three, or an informant? After hearing them talk, I can't figure out what language they're speaking, although she did sound like she was from a Mid-Western state when she put in her food order."

"Agent Starkey," Lewis stopped her. "I know that this mission has peaked your interest, but I need to know if you gave her it."

"Yes," Starkey straightened up. "The waitress was more than willing to let me bring them their drinks and food once I showed her my badge and a ten dollar bill. I put the mickey in both their drinks. They should be feeling its full effects in about twenty minutes."

"How much did you give them?" A concerned voice asked.

"Enough for them to look drunk, but not to pass out," the younger agent said. "Their memories will be foggy. I'll call if they don't leave here on their own once they figure out they've been drugged. We're at the Silver Car Diner on Benton and Brody."

"Great, I'm on my way," Lewis said in a distracted voice. Starkey could hear him talk to someone, but couldn't tell who. "Watch them, but don't get in the way, I'll take it from when they leave the diner. You can go home after that. You've done a great job and I'll tell Gibbons. Don't mention your assignment to anyone until we get a chance to get her to our offices."

"And the boyfriend," she asked while she glanced back at them and watched them lightly grope each other, the drug making them less inhibited.

"A night in jail for intoxication will cool his heels and she will be there as well when she wakes up. She won't remember much of our little meeting.

MFU/MFU

Illya watched another waitress bring them their food and coffee with a suspicious eye. "What happened to the other lady?"

"Liz went on break." The young waitress flatly said, finishing her answer with a snap of her gum, and a bored look on her face. "It's a slow night and she wanted to call her guy."

Illya remembered seeing "Liz" on the nametag that other young woman was weary. He relaxed for a moment and took his plate of food from her. Lexi was watching him from the corner of her eye and smirked. She understood his paranoia and was leery as well. She grabbed the ketchup from atop of the table and started to shake it.

"Must you?" Illya groaned. It had been a running joke for Napoleon to put that vinegary, tomato slop on everything he ordered for them to eat while out on a stakeout.

"What?" Lexi stopped in mid-motion, gave him a puzzled look, and then remembered Illya's detest for the red condiment. "Sorry, but it's good on fries with salt. It's very American."

"You've been hanging around New York too long," He grumbled and then cringed at the farting noise the bottle made when the ketchup splattered onto the plate.

"I know, and that's what I need to talk to you about." She blew on a hot fry before popping it into her mouth.

Illya nodded and he looked down on his meal. It was a roast beef sandwich with potatoes and gravy. He turned the plate ninety degrees and started to swirl everything together.

"I had a talk with Mr. Waverly while you were gone." She cut her burger in quarters. "He wants me to talk to you about me moving to Section Three."

"What! Why?" Illya asked stunned, barely swallowing the food in his mouth. "Why would he want you to change? All the work you've done and going through Survival School?"

"I know, but he's still worried about me and my loyalties." She grabbed his hand with hers for a quick moment. "I don't have the usual partner and I refuse to leave George for another Section Two agent who would keep tabs on me. He said that I could go abroad if I would change my mind, but I've enough to keep me busy already."

"Is that what you want to do?" He asked as he grabbed his cup of coffee at the same time as Lexi picked up her glass of soda with the straw at her lips.

She gave a non-committal shrug and took a big sip while he drowned half of his cup in one swallow. Both grimaced at the taste.

"Choryt, that coffee is bitter." Illya coughed out when he noticed Lexi's confused look when she took another sip. She was concentrated on savoring the taste of her carbonated drink. "What's wrong?"

"My cherry coke is too sweet." She pushed the rest of the drink away from her in disgust and brought up the subject of moving to Section Three up again. "He did give me another option to stay in Section Two."

"Let's hear it," he said between bites of food choosing to drink his water to wash it down instead of the super, strong coffee.

"I would mostly stay in New York and only be farmed out to other offices where my special skills are needed for extra help in missions."

"What do you want to do?" Illya asked again, his mind starting to buzz when he began to feel more relaxed.

"I don't know," she said in weaning frustration, wrapping her arm around his and snuggled into him instead of finishing her food. "Right now, I don't care. It's just nice to sit here with you…"

Lexi started to rub her cheek against his shoulder and giggled. Odd, Illya thought he was feeling warm and giddy himself, like he'd quickly drunk a few shots of vodka, but they didn't have any alcohol to drink.

Reacting through the thickness of his mind, Illya grabbed his communicator pen from his coat pocket and leaned back into Lexi. Pretending that they were getting more intimate, almost groping each other.

"Open Channel D, Napoleon." Illya whispered harshly into the small microphone.

"Ah Illya, your timing is impeccable as usual. I was just going to see a show with Joyce from accounting. Caitlin's gone this week and I wasn't invited to your little party…"

"Shut up and listen." Illya grunted out.

"Hi, Nappy…" Lexi blurted out with a funny chuckle.

"Shhh, Lexi." He shook her to quiet her. "Look, Napoleon we've been drugged. You have to come get us before someone else does."

"Do you think that you can stay where you are or do I need to chase the two of you all over Manhattan?" Napoleon quipped when he became all business.

"I think it would be easier for us to get out of here and meet closer to the airport. Say by the Sundown Bar off of Boyrum Street?" Illya tried to clearly think where they were in the city and would be a safe place to meet.

"Fine," Napoleon said in resignation. "Twenty minutes. Don't be late."

"Oh, I think I would rather go to Kirkland's…" Lexi hummed. "But, I don't really want to go out, darling; I'd rather go home or find a hotel and let you have your way with me…"

"Not now, Lexi." Illya looked around before he fished out his wallet and threw some bills on the table. "Come on, we're going."

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled roughly from the table and they staggered out of the diner. Lexi followed his lead out the door. Not weighing as much or having as much food in her stomach as he did, she was more susceptible to the drug's effect. It didn't help matters that he was more of a social drinker than she was.

If this weren't a trap, he would've laughed along with her as she became more seductive and uninhibited. Shortly, they made it to the sidewalk to begin their journey to the Sundown Bar.

Without provocation, Lexi slipped her hand from the one that he had been using to pull her along and she ran laughing into a darkened alley between two buildings. She suddenly disappeared, much to Illya's anger and fear. Her throaty laughter was all he had to work with.

"Lexi," Illya swore under his breath, his head spinning. Now he had to find her before meeting up with Napoleon. The fearful thought of a stalker coming after Lexi floated through the growing confusion.

With his hand on the hilt of his gun, Illya unsteadily walked slowly around a dumpster only to be grabbed by a pair of hands, twisted by the lapels of his jacket, and then pushed up against a brick wall. Lexi had her lips on his before he could react. Illya dropped his hand from the gun holster and held her tight while she devoured his tongue.

"We need to finish this later," he said, reluctantly trying to pull away and remembering how to breathe again. "We need to get out of here and have to find Napoleon."

"But, Caitlin told us that he was off limits to us," Lexi purred in his ear, nibbling on it, and holding him close when he began to bodily carry her back to the sidewalk. "I want to go somewhere so we can be alone…"

"Soon," he whispered through her hair, set her down, grabbed both of her arms again, and started to physically walk her down the block.

Illya shook his head; the drug was taking its full effect on him. His determination and thoughts were wondering and he was reacting to Lexi's warm body and heavy petting. Several times they had stopped to kiss and grope each other. He was forgetting why they had to walk to the Sundown Bar.

Slowly they made their way to within a half a block of where they were to meet Napoleon. They caught the flash of a police car's bubble gum headlights and then the siren chirped once to get their attention to stopped.

A harsh light was flashed in their eyes, making them squint and blinding them to who was stopping them. Voices rang out from around the blinding white light and two black forms came up beside them.

"Where are you two going?" asked one of the shadowy figures.

"Verrr going to see Nappy," Lexi slurred out and continued to wrap herself around Illya.

Illya stiffened up, but a silly smile crossed his face and he chuckled at the nickname she had given his dark-haired partner.

"How much have you two had to drink tonight?" The officer shined the light into their faces. I need to see some identification, Mister."

"Yes, officer," Illya swayed, nodded, and began to reach for his wallet.

"Thank you, officers." A voice broke through, the officers and Illya looked up to see a very distinguish looking man walk up to them. "I think that I can take it from here."

"And just who do you think you are, bud?" The second officer flashed his bright light from Lexi's body to him.

"Napoleon Solo of UNCLE," Solo said with authority. "These two have come here to meet with me so I can take them home. We had an office party that got carried away and these two carried the party on all by themselves."

"Well, see that these two get a ride home." The first cop said, turned off his flashlight and lowered it. He nodded to Illya and Lexi. "Get a cab home; it's too dangerous in this part of the city to be walking around drunk."

The second officer gave Napoleon back his offered UNCLE card and gave him a small salute of goodnight.

"Thank you again, officers." Napoleon nodded politely to the cops as they went back to their squad car and moved on. He turned to the two agents who could barely hold up the wall behind them. "Well, kids, what have you got to say for yourselves?"

"Get us home before we fall over." Illya tried to snarl, but what came out was an incomprehensible slur.

"Let's walk up the block and hail you a cab. I'll look around first and then meet you love birds back at UNCLE headquarters. You two can sleep it off in Medical or one of the sleeping quarters."

"Oh, Nappy," Lexi sighed lustfully and started to mumble more to herself. "We're not going to sleep just yet. You can still join us if you like. I don't know why Caitlin says you're off limits…"

"Nappy," Napoleon asked in a stunned voice and looked to Illya, who only laughed and pulled Lexi back to be against his body. He began to help her drunkenly weave down the sidewalk to the busier side of the block.

Finding a cab was easy. One of UNCLE's taxis was waiting for them right in front of the Sundown Bar. Opening the door to the back, Napoleon ushered Lexi and Illya in and then shut the door. He gave directions to a stop near headquarters where a Section Three agent would be waiting for them.

As he thumped the roof to take off, Napoleon heard Lexi say something to Illya.

"Oh, look darling, Joe Lewis is driving the cab; he must be working with UNCLE. Joe, this is my boyfriend…"

Solo spun around to see the fleeing cab turn the corner and a white mist envelop the backseat while it traveled under a streetlight. Grabbing his communicator, he heard a loud moan from across the street in the shadows. Running over there, he spotted the real cab driver and Section Three agent trying to stand up.

"Open channel D," Napoleon shouted. "We've lost agents Kuryakin and Lane. Activate homing device on cab number…"

"Forty-seven," the driver mumbled.

"Homing device on cab number forty-seven and send an ambulance to this location."