A Deal to Die For

Chapter 2: Six Years Left...

I flung myself over Alex as bullets soared above our heads. She was shaking with terror, but I held her tight against me using my own body as a shield.

"It's going to be alright," I told her as the explosion of bullets finally ceased.

I reached for my gun, and rolled off Alex as the black SUV shooting at us tried to speed away. I quickly got to my feet, and fired two perfectly accurate shots hitting the rear tires. The SUV swerved wildly and crashed into a nearby fire hydrant.

Two masked men rushed from the black vehicle with machine guns firing. I smirked, and fire another blast from my Glock catching one perp squarely between the eyes. Elliot makes quick work of the other, and there is a deafening silence.

I holstered my gun and ran back to Alex throwing my arms around her. " Are you okay, sweetie?" I asked checking her for any wounds.

She smiled that perfect smile of hers, and caressed my cheek " I'm fine thanks to you, Liv."

I can't take my eyes off her; she is too beautiful. Too perfect." I told you that I'd protect you."

"I will call for back up just in case Zapata has more thugs coming," Elliot interrupted whipping out his radio.

I turned away from Alex to see my partner walking cautiously towards the black SUV gun in one hand and radio in the other." Shots fired... suspects down. We're on the corner of-"

I quickly turn my attention back to Alex to see her smiling fondly at me. Her eyes were crimson red.

"No!" I screamed." Stay away from her!"

Alex lunged for my throat, and my feet left the ground. I struggled to breathe as her hand squeezed my wind pipe. I tried to call for Elliot, but he was no longer in ear shot.

"Your eight years are up Olivia, it's time to pay," the monster said with Alex's voice.

My feet dangled uselessly, and I felt darkness beginning to suffocate me. The hands that were once used to touch me ever so gently were now crushing my throat. I heard a loud crunch sound and I soon fell into oblivion...

I woke up from the nightmare drenched with sweat. I smoothed the sticky hair back from around my face, and climbed out of bed.

Damn it Alex. I couldn't even save her properly in my own dreams.

It's been about a year since she 'died'. I just couldn't face the thought of her being gone; so, I made a deal with the devil wearing a pretty face. She would bring Alex back, and give me eight years without a price.

Now I'm truly lost. Should I try to move forward, and find someone else? Or, should I waste my last 7 years hoping for Alex to come back?

Scotch will help me to better decide.

I trudged into the kitchen and helped myself to a shot of the almost copper drink. My eyes shut closed until the last drop of liquor slid down my throat.

I poured myself another glass and held it towards the ceiling. I thought twice about it, and then lowered it towards the floor " Here's to you mom."

I finished it with a long gulp, and then wiped the corner of my mouth. I heard my phone ringing back in the bed room and quickly went to answer.

" Benson."

I stiffened at the voice on the other end. She was the last person on the face of the earth that I expected to hear from.

"Miss Cabot. To what do I owe this...displeasure," I growled through the phone. I didn't have to be civil to the old bitch now that Alex was gone.

I was even more surprised when she asked to come to her pent house on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. I checked my watch and read the time to be just after two in the morning.

What the hell could Alex's mom possibly want with me in the middle of the night? I told her to wait forty-five minutes and hung up. I took a shower and brushed my teeth to wash away the stink of sweat and booze. I threw a pair of jeans, an NYPD t-shirt, and shrugged on my black leather coat. The same one I had worn on the night Alex was killed.

I took a cab to Miss Cabot's apartment, and paid the ridiculous cab fee. The building was everything I expected it to be: statuesque with plenty of security to keep people like me out. Luckily, Cabot had the foresight to tell the door man that I was coming and he sent me up to the top floor without incident.

A Hispanic woman opened the door and invited me inside. I stuffed my fists inside my pockets, and followed her through mansion- like apartment.

I almost felt sympathy for Miss Cabot when I saw her appearance for the first time. She was as pale as a ghost and even thinner. Her once ice blue eyes were dull and sunken in. I was surely no doctor but I could tell that she was dying.

She coughed harshly and sat up on the edge of the bed, "Olivia, I didn't think you would come."

I shrugged unsure of what to say or what she wanted from me "Miss Cabot what can I do for you?" I asked impatiently anxious to get back home to my bed. Didn't she realize that some of us had to work for a living?

" Call me Linda...I'm dying Olivia," she said bluntly.

She didn't say what she was dying of, and I didn't ask.

I tried to feel sympathy for her, really, I did. After all, she was the mother of the woman I loved. She was also the woman who walked out on what was supposed to be the happiest moment in her daughter's life. She was the woman who blamed me for Alex's death, and told me so at her funeral.

I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. I knew first hand that mothers weren't exactly perfect, and she did seem to love Alex a great deal. I could easily see the pain and guilt in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I replied gently.

She waved me off and then erupted into another fit of coughs. I saw a glass of water on her nightstand an offered it to her. She drank greedily until it was empty.

"You should try to get some rest." I tried coaxing her into bed. I pulled back the spread and helped her to lay back in the huge bed. I pulled the covers up to her chest, and settled myself into a nearby chair.

Linda chuckled lightly "Alexandra was my only child; you must have really loved her to be here with me now."

"She would want someone to be here with you."

"... Did she suffer?"

I looked away as tears started building up in my eyes. There was no way I could let Alex's mom see any weakness from me. I could have told her the truth; bullets had pierced Alex's heart and lungs and made every breathe she took agonizing.

"No, she didn't suffer," I lied.

Her breathing began to become shallow, and I found myself reaching for my cellphone to dial 911. She shook her head and motioned for me to put the phone away.

"Nothing can help me now." she croaked out.

"Why did you call me?" I asked softly '' Out of all the people you would want here, why me?"

"I wanted Alexandra here with me." she answered hoarsely. " Before she died you were the closest person to her."

We fell into a comfortable silence and I occasionally glanced at my watch. Two agonizing hours passed.

I contemplated on if I should tell her that Alex was in fact alive. Would I ease a dying woman's suffering by letting her know that her only daughter was alive? Or hold on to the grudge I still felt because she tried to come between Alex and I?

Damn it.

"Miss Cabot...Linda...I have something to tell you," I sighed waiting for the woman's eyes to flutter open.

"Yes, Olivia?" the older woman trembled.

I decided to just give it to her straight. After all, time was a factor, and she would need a moment to process the information.

"Alex is alive," I told her candidly. " She's been alive this entire time in the Witness Protection Program."

I waited for a response, but none came. The woman's eyes had fluttered shut and this time nothing I said could awaken her. Instinctively, I flipped open my phone to call an ambulance, but I eventually closed it. Her suffering was finally over.

"I'll see you in hell," I whispered solemnly smoothing back her golden blonde hair.

Then for Alex's sake I leaned forward and kissed the woman on her forehead. Shoving my fists into my pocket, I left the apartment and never looked back.

Another year went by, and the perverts of New York City are still at large. I wish I could line them all up and pull the trigger. Then I could find Alex and take an extended vacation.

I'm beginning to think like Elliot too much. Could it be the fact that I only have six years left to make me think so cynically? Maybe it's the fact that I haven't had a drink in over three days working a new case?

It's nothing serious just a woman raped, beaten, stabbed and her throat slashed... I can only shake my head in disgust. While I only have six years left to live, these sickos are free to walk amongst us.

For liberty and justice for all, my ass.

The deceased's named is Elena Brevet. She was left to die in a supply closet at Brevet Investments, a company she owned with her husband, Jason. Elliot and I eventually found him bound to a chair with his throat cut as well. The Brevets must have really pissed someone off.

We discovered that the Brevets were not so innocent as we thought. Apparently, the investment company was not doing so well and both husband and wife were in some major debt. The smartest move to get out of that debt obviously was to help launder Colombian drug money.

Lie down with dogs and wake up with fleas.

The money laundering scheme went deeper than we thought. Evidently, a few good Samaritans thought it would be profitable to write good checks for the Colombians in exchange for drug money. The good folks at Brevet investments would then wire the money 'legitimately' to a company in Columbia.

Another lead sends us to the home of a man named Felix Montoya. The poor bastard and his wife are already dead by the time we get there. What kind of cold hearted dick can shoot two people in the back of the head, and then shoot a child with a pillow over his face?

If this is the kind of evil a human being with a soul can do; I wonder if there is anything left for the devil?

Whoever it was the stupid son of a bitch didn't finish the job. The boy, Antonio Montoya, survived and now we have him.

A ballistics report from the gun used reopened new wounds. Wounds that had not even begun to close let alone heal.

The same gun that was used in the shootings also delivered that fatal shot to Alex. The same gun that ripped any chance of happiness away from me.

I'm gonna make sure this son of a bitch fries for what he did.

If we can ever find him.

We found Liam Connors aka ' The Ghost' from a parking ticket. Criminals are stupid. As soon as they make a sloppy mistake five-o will be there faster than I can say 'indict'.

I was tempted to shoot him in the face on principle. The smug bastard has a chance of escaping because of some technicality, as always.

Casey throws us a curve ball that has Elliot and I quite uneasy. She wants us to arrest Connors for Alex's murder. Technically he did kill her, but no one else knows about the deal I made to bring her back.

We just charged Connors with a crime he didn't do.

Who fucking cares? As if the countless numbers of injustices he committed mean nothing?

Fast forward and I find out that Alex has been in Wisconsin this whole time. One day's drive at the most and we could have been together.

Dark thoughts cloud my mind, insecure thoughts. Why didn't she try to call or get in contact with me? A letter, telephone, email, MySpace, anything would have been sufficient.

Has she moved on? Has she forgotten about me?

I can't blame her if she did; it has been two years. She probably thought that she would never come back to New York again, and had to move on with her life.

I don't have the same luxury of just moving on, my soul is hanging in the balance. Time was slowly dragging me to hell; I couldn't move on even if I wanted to.

I guess that's why I was crying before my shift at the hotel began. Alex was back to testify against Connors, and under 24-hour surveillance split between Elliot and I.

I finished off a tiny bottle of vodka before I got out of the car. I placed my head heavily on the steering wheel. I was becoming just like my mother, an alcoholic. The one road I promised to myself not to take.

Yeah, that was before you sold your soul.

Mom had an excuse too.

I popped a fistful of tic tacs into my mouth and went inside the hotel room. Once I'm inside Elliot gives me curious look like he knows what I've been up to.

I keep my eyes expressionless, and he gives me another dirty look. He said goodbye to Alex and left the hotel.

We must have stared at each other for hours. She still looked the same expect her hair was longer, her eyes harder. She'd lost weight, but nothing to be alarmed over.

I stuffed my hands inside my coat, and gave her a lopsided grin, "Hi."

" Hi Liv," was her response.

Like magnets we both crossed the room into a tight embrace. For the first time in two years I held her in my arms and smelled her sweet scent.

When I pulled back I noticed the engagement ring still on the finger. I inwardly sighed with relief. Maybe there was still a chance for us.

I wanted to talk, but Alex had other ideas in mind. Not that I was complaining: I've been on a two-year dry spell with nothing but work and Elliot to keep me occupied

She kissed me roughly and slid the coat down from my shoulders. Before she left Alex was usually the aggressive in court but sensual in bed type. Again, I'm not complaining but it was surprising to me how she took control.

After wards, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling with Alex's face buried in the crook of my neck. I considered telling her about the deal for her life, but I decided against it. Even if she didn't think I was a complete lunatic; she had enough on her plate without having to worry about me.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered.

I pulled her even closer to me " Thinking about how great that was."

She smiled, rubbing my thigh " What were you really thinking of?"

I stroked her cheek "Trust me baby, you don't want to know."

"Is there someone else you're thinking of?" she asked, "Casey Novak, maybe? I see the way she looks at you."

I was genuinely surprised, Casey? Sure, she was pretty, but I hadn't given her a second thought.

"I haven't been with anyone else," I told her.

I tried to kiss her again, but she pulled away. She sat up in bed and hugged her arms across her naked torso, " I have."

I blinked looking up at her with shock and disbelief glued on my face. Did she just say what I think she did?

"Who is she?" I asked hearing all the emotion leave from my voice.

"He...is a claims adjuster I've been Emily has been seeing."

I shook my head and turned my back to her. I don't know why I'm so upset to begin with; I was already expecting this.

But why does it hurt so fucking bad?

"It doesn't matter."

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

Alex put a hand on my shoulder and I flinch " You have to live your life Olivia." " I... may never get to come back."

Easier fucking said than done, Alex.

"I'll keep that in mind, Alex," I replied sarcastically.

"It's been two years, Liv."

"I get alright," I snapped. " I just want to go to sleep."

What I really wanted was a hard drink and my soul freed, but I didn't say anything. I heard Alex sigh and I knew that would be the end of the conversation.

I stared at the wall for a couple of hours until I heard her breathing steadily. I quietly moved from the bed without waking her and, pulled on my clothes. I kneeled beside her for a moment to stroke her lengthening hair.

" I love you Alex."

It was just as well. Alex deserved someone who she could devote the rest of her life to. I only had a measly six years to give.

With Alex's testimony Connors was convicted of all four counts of murder and two counts of attempted murder. He's not dead, but at least he won't see the light of day again.

We all stood in Casey Novak's office waiting to celebrate the good news with Alex, but she didn't come. Instead, Hammond showed up in her place. He told us that Alex and Antonio had been given new identities, and that she said goodbye.

I solemnly tried my best to accept the news. I probably won't get to see Alex again in my lifetime.

Before he left, Hammond slipped me a piece of paper discretely. I waited until I was away from prying eyes to read it.

In Alex's hand writing I read the words: I love you too.

I crumbled up the paper, and aimed for a nearby trash can. I though twice about it before stuffing the note in my pocket.

TBC...