Ryan fished the key out of his pocket opened he door. The house was empty even more empty then it had been befor the last 6 months...Sarah had a sleepover at her nanna's. Ryan had known it would be a hard day for him. He didn't want his daughter to ever see him in this state. Normally he had a good grip on his OCD....normally, he mused things hadn't been normal since....since he had died.
Automatically he got out a bucket, rubbergloves and a bottle of bleach.
It would have been six years, six years to the day they first met. And six months,4 days, and 12 hours since they last kissed.
Ryan felt the tears running down his face. Before his death he had thought he was incapable of crying...boy had he been wrong.
Ryan snapped on the gloves and started cleaning.
He let go...the iron hold on his compulsions. He had to clean, clean and clean.
It was 7 in the morning when he stopped. Edna would be bringing Sara over any minute now. Ryan always made sure he saw his little girl before he went to work.
When he put the cleaning suplies away he noticed his hands. He had blisters all over his knockles from the repeated movement of scrubbing.
They stung when he held his hands under the tab.
The doorbell rang. And suddenly he had his arms full off 7 year old girl.
"daddy i'm home"
" i had a hunch"he replied dryly and hugged his daughter tightly.
'good morning Ryan " said the middle aged woman who had entered the house behind his daugher in a more sedative pase.
"good morning Edna"
"how many times do i have to tell you tocall me mum Ryan? "
Ryan blushed and looked to the ground. The spottles ground.
Something that didn't go by Edna unnoticed.
"Sarah why don't you go get your things for school ready "
"yes nanna'
when she had skipped her way in to her own bedroom Edna looked at Ryan sceptically.
"did you sleep at all? "
Ryan shrugged.
"i'll take that as a no"
" just once, really and Sarah wasn't here, really i..."
"shush Ryan, i'm not blaming you...everybody has there own way of cooping. Yours i just a little more hygenic then others."she sighted.
Before her son had brought Ryan home she hadn't known much about OCD. Now, 6 years later she was an expert.
"o honn, wish there was something i could do for you"
Ryan blushed again.
"you do, you do i would never be able to take care of Sarah without yor help, you know that"
Edna nodded. "but i want you to be happy again"
Ryan shook his head. " i don't think thats possible for me anymore mum, all i can strive for now is content and even that seems an impossibility right now "
Edna wanted to hug him but she knew Ryan. After his OCD has reared his ugly head he was skittish with human contact. It would pass it always did.
Only Sarah and her late son were able to touch Ryan when he was like this....her son. He would have....no use going there she scolded herself.
Sarah skipped back in the kitchen.
"daddy i want two braids to school today"
Obiediently Ryan started braiding her hair.