To all .hack fans out there, consider this a slightly belated Christmas gift from me to you. Hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: .hack//G.U. is owned by Namco Bandai, CyberConnect, and all other parties involved in its creation. The Merchant of Venice was first created by famous playwright William Shakespeare, who is currently dead, but far from forgotten.
"I know not why I am so sad," Gaspard muttered, somewhat unintentionally. Today was a rather ordinary day…at least, as ordinary as it got in a world where a single MMORPG could have the power to wipe mankind off the face of the planet. But, thankfully, no problems had arisen since his friend Haseo had purged the net of those icky Gomorras, and the even uglier beast they had come from.
For those of you that are uninformed, Gaspard is the online persona of a fourteen-year-old boy that is used in the MMORPG 'The World'. Gaspard is a small, pink, and pudgy member of the Tu Tribe, which is a race that can be easily compared to anthropomorphic dogs. Gaspard isn't the type that enjoys adventuring into random dungeons, unlike most players, but he does find interest in managing the shop of the guild he is a part of. He still makes a lot of friends this way, without getting his large posterior handed to him by gigantic beasts or psychopathic Player Killers.
"Well, if you don't know, then I can't help you," responded Silabus, to the muttered comment. Silabus is Gaspard's best friend, who had decided to help out at the shop since the day was going quite slowly. Although Silabus is older, slimmer, human-raced, and enjoys a good fight occasionally, the two of them quite enjoy each other's company when they can find the time.
Things had been quite slow recently in the adventure department. Haseo, known as the 'Terror of Death' to his friends, was usually the source of many exciting adventures. But, since the system had been running smoothly for the past couple of months, nothing remarkable has occurred for quite some time. Deciding to fill in some time until the next major adventure, he had decided to go back through the Forest of Pain for the rare items that could be sold or traded to players that just couldn't make it that far. Taking two players with him, specifically Atoli and Endrance, he immediately departed and hasn't been heard from since.
Business wasn't booming, either. Though they had quite a good variety, from cheap healing for the n00bs to glorious weaponry for the experienced, it seemed that they just weren't attracting as much attention as they used to. Things had been going quite smoothly back during the last Network Crisis, since Haseo had played the largest part in stopping the whole affair. But, that was old news, and their shop had slowly sunk back into obscurity. Sure, they got some business; why else would Haseo have decided to grab those items? But still, how things were now was no comparison to how it used to be.
But now, we will return to current events. Just before Gaspard was about to tell his amigo that he wasn't expecting a reply, a male player with a blue ponytail came into view. This man was Kuhn, their former guild leader, but still a good friend. Kuhn was famous for his 'illness', which made him try to woo every single attractive female player in the MMORPG, whether or not he knew what they looked like offline. "Hey, guys! How's business?" he asked upon reaching the shop.
"Just take a look," Silabus replied, pointing to the empty space in front of them. "Unless Elwood P. Dowd's pooka friend and Doctor Griffin are patiently waiting for our assistance as we speak, nobody else has come here all day."
"…Huh?" Gaspard commented, not catching the references to the play 'Harvey' by Mary Chase, or the novel 'The Invisible Man' by H. G. Wells.
"Really? What a shame. Anyways, I probably shouldn't ask, but…I kinda need your help," Kuhn told the two. "Y'see, this new quest JUST opened up midnight last night. The first player that manages to complete it gets a Promise Greeting Card! I swear, if Pi doesn't see me in a different light after I send it to her, nothing will!"
Pi, yet another of the players Gaspard had met, was an intelligent female player with a very attractive avatar. Out of all the girls that Kuhn had ever met, Pi was the forbidden fruit: the most succulent of them all, but almost unobtainable. Over time, Kuhn's feelings began to develop into actual affection, though his well-known and still-existing 'illness' rather disgusts Pi, and makes her treat Kuhn like a subhuman. But, with any hope, something as marvelous as an extremely rare greeting card, created for the sole purpose of telling another person about your undying affection for them, would change her mind about him.
"Anyways, back to the dilemma," Kuhn continued. "Before you can sign up for this quest, you need an extremely rare event item made for this one occasion. And, as you can guess, I couldn't find one. BUT, I have a rather good feeling that there's some lucky player that has, and would gladly trade it for…I don't know…a good selection of items retrieved from the Terror of Death himself?"
"So, you want us to lend you our stock so you can trade it for one of these items?" Silabus inquired.
"And possibly help me find a guy I can trade them with," Kuhn added. "So, will you give me a hand here?"
"Do you even need to ask? Of course we will!" Gaspard answered as he began to exit the stall. "Not only are you one heck of a friend, but I doubt we'll get another chance to do anything remotely as exciting as this anytime soon! And as one of the best shop managers around, I can promise you that whatever you need is already as good as yours!"
And so, Silabus empties the store of all its stock, and hands it over to Kuhn. Soon, the three players separate, each looking for somebody who has the rare item. Little did they know that this would soon turn into an adventure that they would never forget…until an even greater adventure eventually came along.
...And before I forget, have a Happy New Year!