Before I lay in ashes

Chapter 2

As the sun was going down, Beverly and Will were walking in a park, talking and laughing. They were in a relationship since a long time, since two years now, and they were planning to live together, something they delayed many times, for many reasons. They needed to find a new house in Wolf Trap, Beverly liked to spend time in Will's house, in fact she was very often there, but living here all the time would have been too hard. She wouldn't be able to bear the isolation of the farm and Will wouldn't be able to live in her flat in Baltimore. So they decided they would find a house in Wolf Trap, which was a small town and would fit both of them. Yet finding the right house wasn't an easy task.

The amount of work they both had wasn't easing things up, plus Bev had needed some times to be used to the dogs. She was growing fond of the idea of having those with Will, now that she was spending more time in his house than hers. At first she had been reluctant to live with so many dogs, but she never asked Will to abandon them. He knew it was because she could never do such a thing to an animal. And he knew she didn't leave because she loved him. Instead, she adapted herself to that and today she was actually very fond of them, and they liked her as well.

"When we find our new house, you'll have to let me ornate it" Beverly said, "because decorating a room is not one of your quality I fear."

"Oh come on, I know. I neglected some part of the house, but it's not that bad."

"Oh yes, I remember the first time I entered your home, it was really not appealing!"

"And you should know I actually tidied it up before you came, if I didn't, you would have probably run away!"

They both laughed at that, indeed, Will had made efforts to have a cleaner and more decent place when Bev came in his life. Not that the house was a total waste, but he wasn't really taking care of it that well. Though it could be quite bothersome at first, he was soon happy that he made those changes; he was feeling better at home now. Yet he was eager to live with her, even if it meant being in town and having neighbours, but he was ready to make the effort for her, he didn't want to force her to isolate herself, she wouldn't bear it. Now that they were about to live together, he knew there was no reason to wait anymore.

"Bev, there is something I have to tell you..."

He stopped and she mimicked him, seeing that he looked suddenly serious. They were standing beside a lovely small pond; the atmosphere was actually pretty romantic with the dawn. He knew it was the perfect setting, he took her hands and smiled at her, he was so nervous, it was the moment of truth.

"You are...I never felt this way toward anyone. And...I don't think I will ever feel that for anyone else."

He took a little velvet box out of this pocket and her breathing stopped, he could see it. He opened the box, and finally said it.

"Would you marry me?"

Bev let out the air she was holding back and put her hands on her mouth, unable to speak at first, Will felt a wave of pure happiness at this.

"Yes! Definitely yes!"

Will embraced her before they kissed. They were both so happy; the future seemed so bright right now.

Will knew he had done some things wrong lately.

First he had been too slow to understand that Hannibal was the culprit. He should have been faster. He had trusted him when he thought he was losing his mind, he thought the doctor truly wanted to help him. He was clearly wrong. His biggest error had been to ask Beverly's help, not that she was unable to help him but it had been way too dangerous. He couldn't forgive himself. Now Alana and Jack were telling him that Beverly Katz, his fiancée, was dead. He should have seen it coming, how had he been so stupid to endanger her life in such a senseless way?

He felt tears coming to his eyes, he was feeling sick and numb, but more of all he was feeling sad, incredibly sad and guilty. It was his fault. The tears didn't fall yet, and his face was unmoving. He was barely listening to them, he couldn't.

Beverly had been found burned in her apartment, blood on the floor tended to prove she had been hurt before being burned. He envisioned her standing here, near the window, he knew she was only in his head; she was looking at him with sadness, because he had lost her.

Will was guilty for this; he shouldn't have put her in such a situation. For the very first time since he got locked in a cell, he felt that he deserved to be here. He felt like a monster.

Then as they were talking, it crossed his mind: he had a part of guilt, but Hannibal was the monster who really had to pay, and it would happen. Yes, he couldn't stay numb and sad like this, he would let his rage and vengeance lead him, he would make the man pay, if he couldn't have happiness, then he would at least have the satisfaction to drag his enemy to hell with him. He looked at his colleagues; Alana was giving him one of her comforting speech when he interrupted her:

"It's Hannibal. I know it is."

"Will, stop that, Hannibal is not..."

"He is! He killed her and you are going to let him get away with it!"

"I know that you want to find a person to blame, but Hannibal is your friend Will, our friend," Alana said.

He scoffed. At a time he would have believed she would have supported him. Now it was clear she had chosen her side. How could she do that to him, to Beverly…

"I asked her to investigate more on Hannibal Lecter."

"She was investigating proves about you," objected Jack. "She was pretending to stay away from your case, and I pretended not to see what she was doing."

Will tightly closed his eyes, he wouldn't convince them, Hannibal had them around his little finger. If Beverly could see them, she would probably spit at their faces! He fought against the tears; he had to remain strong, for her. He would have to do this himself, but he couldn't do everything from here.

"I want to see the crime scene."

"Are you sure?"

"I want to see it."

"We can't let you do that..."

"Please! Jack...Let me see my fiancée."

At those words, Jack accepted even against Alana's protest, she was sure it wouldn't be good for him. The thing is Will didn't want to do anything good for him. He wanted revenge for Beverly. He had already lost Abigail, the one he considered as a daughter, now he just lost his future wife...

The hospital staff completely restrained him; they put a mask on him, it was humiliating. When he arrived on the crime scene, he saw this bitch of Freddie Lounds taking pictures of him, she would write another disgusting article about him, with that little air of triumph, yet he didn't care. He didn't care about her, or about everyone around. They took him to her flat; he ignored people's stares, he ignored Price and Zeller who immediately left the room upon seeing him. When he was inside Jack told them to leave and freed him from his restrains.

He looked down at the corpse; Jack stayed behind, saying nothing, it was as if he wasn't here. Will rubbed his face as some tears fell from his eyes. Lord this was so horrible, so hideous, so painful.

"Bev..."

He visualised her, standing near her own burned corpse, she was looking at him with a sad face, still so pretty. This burned corpse...It wasn't Beverly, not anymore, nothing was recognizable anymore. He looked at the crime scene there was some blood on the table, it was still here in spite of the firemen's intervention to stop the fire, the water had spared it. Will closed his eyes, and began to reconstruct the scene, forcing himself to do so.

I enter the apartment without breaking the door, she let me enter. I jump on her but she put up a fight. I smash her head against the table to knock her down...She falls and I drag her at the other side of the table, it will be much better to do what I want. Then I...

He stopped the train of his thoughts and realised that something was wrong, something seemed faked. There was a lot of blood but strangely he couldn't really feel the fight here. Yet the blood was spread and the room was a mess. He went on:

There is a lot of blood because I stabbed her multiple times. Once she is dead I burn the body. I want...I want her to be burned because I want to erase her face. Even the teeth are damaged. Everything that made her identifiable.

Realisation started to hit him but he went on, because he knew he was close to the truth.

No traces of evidences, even if this seems to be a mess, everything was planned. She found something. She found me. What she found disappeared already.

During their last conversation, he said that there was no copycat, only the Ripper all along. She wanted to find proves about that, and she was starting to believe him, he could feel it. That's why he warned her not to approach Hannibal. It crossed his mind then. He knew what happened. Beverly found her proof and put herself in big danger. She went too close to him. He told her to go and see Jack, but she probably didn't, and then what happened after that?

"She was investigating on Lecter because I convinced her to..." he murmured to himself.

Beverly wasn't the type of woman to stop when she was on something, if she found something about Hannibal and managed to escape, then she would never have returned home, she would have tell Jack immediately. So there was no reason for her corpse to be here. He had to know what she did after leaving her job, to be sure. He turned to Jack who looked at him expectantly.

"Who was the last one who saw her?"

"Well except for the murderer, it was Jimmy Price."

"Did she tell him something?"

"I'll call him and ask, but Will what can you tell me about this?"

"I'm not sure, but I need to know what she told Jimmy."

Jack sighed but complied with Will's wish, he hoped Jimmy would be okay enough to handle this, the man was devastated like everyone. He called for Jimmy who looked at Will in discomfort when he saw him. Everyone was feeling uncomfortable around him.

"Yes boss?"

"Jimmy, are you okay?"

"Not really."

Will cut them off, he didn't have time for that crap, if Jimmy wanted to cry, then he would do it home.

"Jimmy, what did she say the last time you saw her?"

"She...She asked if Jack was around."

"Then what?"

"I told her that he was at hospital because of his wife."

"What else, what did you say exactly?"

"That Doctor Lecter called him because of his wife, she asked if Mrs Crawford was okay, I said I didn't know and then she asked me if Hannibal was at hospital too...I can't stop thinking about it, I never thought it was the last time..."

"Okay, I got it."

Jack gestured to Jimmy to leave, and though the man looked baffled, he did as he was told. Now he could be sure of what happened: Beverly didn't want to go to Crawford because she thought she had no proof, Will had told her Hannibal was keeping trophies to eat them, and she knew Lecter wasn't home.

'She tried to find proves, and Hannibal caught her.'

Hannibal caught her doing so, he caught her in his home, then why killing her in her flat? He could have escaped him, but then, why returning here without telling anyone, it didn't make any sense. Maybe he had taken her back here, but it was risky, she lived in a building in a crowded street, someone could have seen him...Yet no one saw anything. Plus, she was spending much more time in his home, she was about to leave this place to live with him in a new house...Hannibal knew this because Will told him that during a session, he wouldn't have bring her back here, in fact it would have been more like him if he had exposed her body in Will's home, to taunt him. But here the body was burned and in the flat she wanted to leave, why?

'So we would be sure it's her...'

Looking at the corpse again, Will understood that his suspicions were true: it could be anyone, even the teeth were too damaged to tell who it was. It could be anyone so everyone would believe she was dead...Hannibal was far from being stupid, he knew Will would see trough that, the scene looked like this to fool the authority, but not him. It was a message: she was alive, Lecter was keeping her somewhere.

"She is alive, Jack I know she is alive."

"What?"

Will started to explain him first that there was no copycat, only the Ripper all along; Jack didn't contest this and listened attentively

"You want her to be alive, but you have to..."

"No Jack, I know it!"

"Fine, you think he didn't kill her in her flat because it would have been hard to bring her here, so he replaced her by another person? How taking another person could have been easier for him?"

Will was speechless at this, it was true, Bev or another woman, Hannibal wouldn't have taken the risk. Yet something was still wrong, he was sure something else happened, that Beverly didn't go home, that she confronted Hannibal. This scene looked faked; Lecter brought someone here and simulated the fight. It was possible that he fooled someone, when he captured Beverly, he could perfectly have stolen her keys after locking her away and then lure someone in, pretending this was his home. That's why there was no forced entry. Maybe that woman he took was a prostitute, one that accepted to follow a client to his house, Will wasn't sure but it wasn't Beverly. If it was her, Lecter would have leave her face so Will and the FBI could stare at it in defeat. Now he was keeping her somewhere, she was at his mercy...

"Jack, she was going to live with me, she was prepared to leave this place, you have to go at Lecter's home and search, you'll find her, I'm sure you will..."

"No! You don't have a proof; you're just fixated on the idea that Hannibal is a killer. I shouldn't have let you come here. Now all I will obtain from this is an article from Freddie Lounds who will gladly tell how the FBI let an instable criminal come on a crime scene..."

"So you still consider me as a criminal?"

Jack didn't say a word, hesitating. He wanted to believe that Will was innocent but there were too many proves pointing to him, he couldn't let his feeling get in the way. Yet it was hard to look at his friend in the eyes and tell him such a thing.

"I am responsible too, if I didn't push you so far..."

"I didn't kill them, and I am right for Beverly! You must listen to me."

"I do. I'm grateful for telling me what you think about having no copycat, and I'll consider it ,but I can't believe the rest. I have to work and you have to go back to..."

"Think about it, if she is alive, she is hoping that you're searching for her, will you really..."

"That's enough!"

He looked absolutely furious, and Will knew that it was over. He had failed to convince him. Men came to take him back and Jack looked at him leaving and felt incredibly sad and exhausted. He had lost both Beverly and Will, and it was hard really. Those two would have been happy together and now, one was dead and the other mad. He had failed to protect them, like he had failed with Miriam Lass, he had pushed her too far and he had done the same with Will, and Beverly was also under his responsibility. All of them were now lost, and he was responsible.

Will was in a trance like state when he was taken away in the van and carried back to the institute. Beverly was imprisoned somewhere, in the hands of Hannibal, and he couldn't have his colleagues' help. He sighed and looked at the empty corridor. He would still find a way to save her, but how? He didn't know, but one thing was sure: he wouldn't drop it, he wouldn't give up! Even if he had to sell his soul to the Devil.