Mindy woke with a start. It's happening!
She held her breath and listened for the scratchy sound that had wrenched her from sleep. Why didn't I ask Danny to stay? A murderer actually breaks in and I'm on my own here.
She slipped silently from between her sheets and jammed her feet into a pair of sneakers, the better to sneak with. She hadn't seen her handgun in like 4 months and unlike some people she knew she doesn't keep a baseball bat handy at all times. She did have that weird wooden candlestick though, thank God Danny had talked her out of using it to hold that shelf up.
Hunching her shoulders she pushed the bedroom door open and scanned the room for a clear path to the window. As she crept toward the little table she suddenly thought that maybe she could use the table as a shield like a lion tamer. Closer, closer. She breathed a little sigh of relief as she wrapped her fingers around the candlestick and felt its reassuring weight settle in her palm.
"Whatcha doin' there, Professor Plum?"
She swung hard for the source of the unexpected gravelly voice behind her and caught Danny on the hip.
"OW! What was that for?" He hopped backwards.
"Danny, what the HELL? Why are you still here?"
"I fell asleep on your sofa, remember?"
"Yes I remember 7 hours ago, but you usually take off long before I wake up. I thought there was a real murderer in my apartment."
He rubbed his hip. "That's gonna bruise. Why the candlestick?"
"I don't know where my gun is, Danny! And I don't have a man to chase down an intruder with a baseball bat while I hide, so I had to think on my feet."
"I'd have preferred the gun. That really hurt."
"It can't be that bad. Let me look at it, you big baby." She reached for his belt.
He pushed her hands away. "No, it'll be fine."
"Danny, I'm a doctor. Let me see how bad it is."
"I'm a doctor too, that's how I know it'll be fine." He sidestepped her second attempt to grab him.
"Ugh, doctors are the worst patients. Just let me check you out. It's not like I haven't seen everything you've got."
"Hey!"
"Come here."
"Fine." He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and dropped them. He slipped the waistband of his boxers down a couple of inches so she could see the reddened skin on his hipbone. Her stomach fluttered unexpectedly the intimacy of the moment, but she shook it off and steeled herself with professionalism.
She palpated area carefully, but didn't find anything unexpected. She gently hitched his boxers back into place. "It's just a bruise."
"That's what I said."
"It's swelling pretty badly though, so sit down and I'll get you some Advil and ice." She led him back to the sofa and then went to the kitchen to fill a Ziploc baggie with ice. "Hey, what's this?"
"Breakfast," he called back from the living room.
"You made me breakfast?"
"Yeah. I got you one of those chocolate croissants you like and I was trying to make coffee when I saw you trying to sneak out of your bedroom."
She handed him a baggie of ice wrapped in a dishtowel and turned towards the bathroom. "Look I'm sorry I hit you, but you know I'm on high alert for intruders. Why did you sneak up on me?"
"I thought you were trying to sneak up on me!"
"Why would I sneak up on you Danny? And why are you here?"
"It's Sunday. I don't have anything for breakfast at my place and I had your spare key so I thought I'd do something nice. I don't have anywhere to be, you don't have anywhere to be."
"How dare you? I could have plans!" She handed him a glass of water and a couple of pills.
"What kind of plans do you have? Sleep 'til 11? Watch movies in bed until the sun goes down and realise you never changed out of pajamas?"
"I'll have you know I have a date, so I would have gotten dressed eventually."
"You have a date? Who's the guy?"
"Peter."
"You're going out with Peter?" Danny's eyebrows raised in surprise.
"Relax, she called over her shoulder as she set about pouring coffee. "It's like a bro-date. Since that MMA thing we meet every so often to drink and talk exes. He gives me the manly perspective on my relationships."
"I could give you a manly perspective."
"I don't think so, Danny. I don't think we could talk like Big P and I talk."
"Big P?"
"Yeah, it stands for..."
"That's enough. I get it."
"I'm messing with you. I will never call him that no matter how hard he begs."
He looked uncomfortable. "Why don't you think we could talk?"
"Listen, you're like my favorite friend, but Peter...Peter doesn't judge."
"I don't judge you."
"Peter lets me eat appetizers and no real meal."
"Mindy, you can't just eat appetizers. The sodium..." he started.
"See? Judgement. And Peter's the only person I know who can keep up on 2-for-1 tequila shots."
"I'm sorry. I could do that, though. I could drink and eat chicken wings with you."
"Yeah, but Peter lets me talk about some things that I can't really talk about with anyone else and sometimes I just need that."
"Like what?"
She sat down next to him with a plate of pastries and handed him a mug. "Like...I don't entirely hate Josh anymore. I could see letting him be in my life again."
"Are you kidding me?" He almost dropped his coffee. "That guy broke your heart! He used you for drugs and he made you the other woman. And he let you take the fall for his wedding!"
"No, I chose to take the fall for that. Because I don't hate him anymore. And because I think it might balance out my bad karma for Tom's wedding."
"Don't go soft on Josh."
"I'm not. He made some mistakes, and he had a problem, but he's sober now and I think we could be friends." She took a sip of her steaming drink. "He's a pretty fun guy when you don't love him."
"So you definitely don't love him."
"I don't."
"Good." He grabbed a croissant and bit it in half.
"It is good."
"Well have fun on your date with Peter. I'll be nursing my hematoma."
"Hey, this thing with Peter is a good thing. We got off to a bad start and we needed to mend bridges. He's a partner now, and honestly when you get past that frat nonsense he's a pretty nice guy. Kind. Smart. Sexy bedroom eyes."
"Okay. Stop." He saw the mischievous smile tugging at her lips as she pulled her croissant apart. "You're messing with me again?"
"Yes. You're so easy. Listen, I'm much smarter than I used to be when it comes to guys. Now I just have a nice friend who lets me double dip fries and talk about guys because he never even knew them and doesn't have an emotional reaction."
"I have the emotional reaction BECAUSE I'm your friend."
She squeezed his hand. "I know."
"Well I guess I'll go. Tell Peter I said hi. Don't get too drunk."
"How drunk is too drunk? Like 'trying to show a art gallery full of strangers your penis' drunk?"
"Like I don't want to have to bail you out of jail because you almost drowned choking out a Barbie doll."
"Okay, Springsteen show."
"Be nice to me. Someone beat me with a candlestick today."
"Because I thought you were a murderer!"
"Well next time I'll wake you up before I make breakfast." He blushed a little as he replayed that in his head.
She smiled brightly. "Maybe next time I'll make breakfast for you."
"Next time."