Chapter 2: The Meeting
"We are all assembled for the third day of the bi-yearly World Conference." The now feminine German was standing near one of the ends of the main conference table, seat pushed behind her and hands set firm on the surface of the wooden table. "I am proposing a change in the agenda, due to a… recent event."
"Seconded." A frowning Austria put her hand into the air, fidgeting slightly with the edge of her dress and glancing at a silently fuming Hungary.
"Who votes for this change in agenda?" Every nation's (and several other entities') hands went up. "Measure passed. I feel the need to remind you all to raise your hands before talk—"
"Seriously, who the heck had the idea to do this?" America quickly stood up, her skirt swishing slightly. Germany sighed and sat down, putting a hand to her forehead. The North American nation didn't pay any attention to her, opting instead to point at everyone at the table with a large sweep of her hand. "Whoever caused this should fess up right now and fix it!"
England didn't bother to stand up, instead going right into speaking without any warning. "Who says this was done by any of us? Have you even thought about the cause being some sort of natural or political event?"
"I think you did it, Angleterre," France brought up, twirling a part of her darkened hair with her finger. "After all, you've created several similar instances in the past."
"Well, frog, I did all those things knowingly, even if I made a few… mistakes that affected more than my intended targets. Last night, however, I got moderately intoxicated, came home, and fell asleep without having done anything else." Of course, she had woken up in the basement, but she thought this was because she had fallen down the stairs and had knocked herself out—again. In this case, ingnorance wasn't quite bliss but it was certainly amusing.
"I don't believe you, sourcils."
England pushed herself up quickly, pigtails swinging and anger rising. "What did you call me? I will get you for that, you—"
"SILENCE!" Germany yelled. "This is not a time to start fighting. We should focus on solutions for this issue, not justifications for petty grudges! Now Austria, you may speak."
She lowered her hand, rising to her feet. "Thank you, Germany. I think that we should note any factors that may be involved in this. Have any female nations been changed?" Silence. "… Alright then. What were those changed doing at the time?" A cacophony of voices sounded.
"ONE AT A TIME! Alright Italy, you may talk, but no declarations about pasta this time."
"But it's related to pasta!" She whined, but still hopped out of her seat eagerly. "Me and fratello—I mean sorella were making spaghetti with tomato sauce when I noticed we were girls!" The other Italian looked ready to protest but was reduced to grumbling when Germany glared at her.
A—is she shaking?—not very happy Russia stood, scooting slightly away from her younger sister. "My sisters were visiting when I suddenly was like this." The air around her seemed to darken visibly as she smiled slightly. "Whoever did this will admit to it soon, da?"
"Like being a creep will help," The albino—perhaps? Of some sort?—in the corner of the room brought up. She smirked. "Besides, don't tell me you don't like having boobs at all. Being a chick isn't awesome, but it's not that bad when you—"
"If you know what's best for you, you'd shut up right now." The sound of Hungary's frying pan falling against her palm was rather clear in the quieted meeting room, as was the look of (perhaps not righteous) anger on her face.
The Prussian flinched slightly, but (stupidly) continued talking. "Just because you're upset about the lack of your 'yaoi' or whatever you call that freaky crap you worship doesn't mean that the rest of us have to—"
BAM! THUD. "Never think that because you've changed into a girl physically that you're immune from me beating you up, Prussia," Hungary added, stepping over the knocked out ex-nation and sitting back in her seat. She noticed the expressions of fear from many of the nations assembled (though Russia was smiling happily, Austria looked slightly smug and Germany just seemed resigned) and put the pan under her chair, allowing for them to relax and resume their chatter before Germany had to restore order again.
"I was taking a shower, aru," China started, reddened hair having been placed into buns with a large flower and hat, courtesy of Taiwan insisting on doing so until the older nation had allowed her to do so ("After all, all you put your hair up into is that horrible ponytail, and you look even prettier as a girl!"). "I was washing my hair when I noticed that it seemed longer—" Several nations giggled or snickered, with one person asking another in a stage whisper how she could have noticed something as minor as that. "AIYAH! Be quiet, aru!" The Chinese woman glared at several people (and South Korea, as she already did that anyway just in case) before continuing. "That's when I noticed I had… that I was a female, aru."
"I just noticed!" Aforementioned Korean piped up, grin wide. "And when I saw Hong Kong and Aniki I just couldn't help but be happy!" Both Hungary and China twitched noticeably (oddly enough for different reasons though the cause was obvious) but made no movement otherwise. Hong Kong didn't seem like this exclamation surprised or fazed her at all.
"I'm rather pleased also," France added. Judging by the expression on Romano's—ahem, excuse me, Romana's—face and the lack of England's fury towards the well-renowned pervert France was currently feeling up the oblivious nation to her left—Spain, of course, though I didn't really need to tell you that—and so seemed very pleased at the moment. "After all, I must say there are inherent advantages to this that several of my fellow countries have already picked up on." Suddenly, Spain jerked in her seat before hurriedly scooting towards Romana and clung to her arm. As the Southern Italian sputtered ("Wh-what do you think you're doing, bastard?") the French nation's face fell and it looked as if she was muttering "merde, she noticed when I got up to those". But of course that couldn't be it. Spain actually noticing France's public gropings of her? Spain noticing something for once? Never!
A still wounded, but now conscious, Prussia sat up, glaring at the conference room ceiling as she rubbed her head with one hand. "Hey, he—she's not that dumb! She notices stuff… most of the time. Sometimes. Occasionally. But at least she's not as unawesome as you are, you creeper. Get a life alrea—Oww!" A potato appeared from seemingly nowhere—okay, maybe it did come from absolutely nowhere—and hit the Fourth-wall breaking loser in the face! "Scheiße! That's so unawesome! You stereotypical—" Several more starch-packed vegetables slapped her in the face (not slap like what my hand would do, but close enough), with the addition of some wurst and a few cans of American (the best kind!) beer. "You little—" A soccer ball to the stomach did a fine job of shutting her up (finally!) and so she instead started to heavily curse in German under her breath—at least I think that's what she was doing, judging by the little bits of the language I could catch and understand (which is admittedly very little).
As is the case with many cases of fourth wall breaking, no one else cared or noticed the loser/offender. ("You bloede kuh, deine Mutter schwitzt beim kacken…" Smack! "Verdammt!") In fact, Germany had determined just moments before that the mmeting was going nowhere useful (what with several nations having already gone off into discussions about the ruins of their mother's they had recently uncovered and what color they were painting their house this time) and decided to bring an end to it. "This discussion is getting nowhere!" Great way to repeat things, Germany. ("Hey, shut up!" Thunk! "Verdammt! I can't throw this stupid watered-down excuse for alcohol that high!") "I propose that we bring this up again, with the solution or solutions you have produced, on the tenth day of this Conference and not discuss it until then. All who approve?" A little over half of the hands in the room rose, though none of them looked very pleased about it. "Measure passed! Now," she glanced at her watch, "It is time for the lunch break. We will resume in an hour." With that, most of the nations quickly left, with Russia nearly running away from her… eccentric sister and Cana… Canarda? Canda? Oh, you know who I'm talking about! That person being run over by several nations before managing to get out of the room into the adjacent hallway. Poor thing is still unnoticed, even as such a cute girl! …Who was I talking about again?
A/N: Aww, Canada, why are so just so adorable as a girl? It kind of makes me regret having you still be ignored by so many people.
Anywho, how many of you participated in the Hetaween event? (How many read the strips period? XD) That's partially why I haven't updated this week. I've been writing this and my other two stories during some of my more laid-back classes (along with doing some doodling), but since I've been busy doing both homework and checking for updates this last week I didn't really have any time to type up and post the newest chapters. However, chapter three of Catastrophic Confusion and chapter six of Capitalists should be coming pretty soon. (Otherwise feel free to bug me about it until I do. :P)
I am also sorely tempted to somehow include the Halloween costumes for this year into either this story or Capitalists. (Either that or mention through some method India and his apparent *ahem* bromance with Prussia. Or the incident at the end with America and England... or Hong Kong and Iceland interacting... /is still stuck in fangirling mode)
Also, do any of you have any characters in particular you'd like me to focus on? I have some chapters already somewhat planned out, but this story is based on even less of a structure than Capitalists is and I want to write something that you'd be interested in and would perhaps find funny (or at least insane- either way it's sort of supposed to be crack in some ways, so...). Basically, if you have any burning desires let me know and I'll see what I can do!
Until later then!