Disclaimer: sorry 4got 2 put one of these things but I obviously dnt own it since on fanfiction PLUS if I did peter would have a love interest

WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT REALISED THE RATING THIS HAS MILD LANGAGE

So there I was dangling on a vine feeling like I drank all night and having a hangover. I was like that for a good hour yelling, and, I quote, "GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING TREE". Trust me if you knew how frustrating it was being stuck on a tree you would swear too. Anyways so I was hanging there and after a good hour then this horse-man thing which was either a gnome or a centaur came, of course being intimidated by 'it' I greeted him in the most lady-likeish(is that a word) politest way possible...

"Sup" Okay so it wasn't exactly polite or lady like but I want him to know that I'm not gonna kiss up to him just because he has two extra limbs and tail.

"Um...hello naked lady" He said somewhat uncomfortable.

Huh Naked I'm not naked he's the one naked his not wearing anything but the sword holder thingy, well I guess his an exception since his half horse but still!

"Excuse me, I'm not naked, I am fully clothed, and I thought I looked cute today" I replied with a little pout. Then he took out his sword and my eyes widened "No please don't kill me I'll be nice -man!"I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself. After 3 seconds I felt myself fall on the ground in a not-so graceful way. I opened my right to peek at the horse-guy and realized he cut the vine.

"Oh...Um...Thank you Mr...?"I said while brushing myself off

"Oreius and you are...?"

'I'm...uh Theresa Joanne but people call me TJ" I said with a sheepish smile there was something odd about this guy, he just screamed importance.

"Well TJ how about you tell me how you got here and I'll take you somewhere you might find useful" He gestured for me to climb is back. The rest of the ride I told him all about how I got here and I've even found out some things about him too."Ahh here we are" helping me off. I looked in front of me and saw this gorgeous Palace it was the most amazing building I have ever seen, it made Buckingham palace look like a terraced house.

"Whoa...this place is amazing" a gaped at the amazing detail of the palace whilst Oreius closed my jaw with a slight chuckle.

"Welcome to Cair Paravel milady (.)" I nodded in response still star struck "Home to the Kings and queens whom I will introduce you too but..." I looked at him with an eyebrow raised "maybe we should dress you and something more presentable" he said eyeing my dirty denim shorts and flannel shirt and converse.

"What do you mean more present...whoa" Next thing I know I'm getting dragged to God knows where. Two hours later after debating whether or not I should wear that death trap they call a corset (which sadly they one)I was finally ready in red and gold dress(/blog/media/blogs/redhotbrides/Disney/Now_and_ she's basically wearing everything except the tiara p.s if u didn't know TJ looks like this .com/user_images/X/XX/XXD/XXDEADLYXXXKISSESXX/1289846851_5089_ )"Well Oreius how do I look?"

He looked slightly star struck "You look much better milady" He gave me a cheerful smile.

"General Oreius" a voice said

"Who said that?" I looked around franticly

"Down here miss" I looked down and saw a little mouse with a feather hat and a sword.

"Holy crap" I yelled jumping on Oreius, but then he just dropped me "I did not see that coming...you're a mouse...or I'm going insane but if I was insane I wouldn't think I'm insane...does any of this make any sense to you?"I asked gesturing to my 'audience' but they just gave me a weird look.

"Okay ...anyways General the Duchess of Archland called, she has decided not to get married to His highness because she fell in love with a Telmarian...We haven't told the court yet and we were hoping you might help us find a new bride" He said with hopeful eyes

"Oh no...how are we going to find a beautiful young girl whom will be willing enough to marry..."He's words began to slow down and then he stared right at me.

My eyes widened in realization "NO NO NO NO NO ABSULOTLY NOT, I just came here and you expect me to marry a king to a country I don't know the name of..."

"Narnia" I gave the talking mouse a glare

"No way am I doing it!"