Disclaimer: I do not own the TVD characters, I'm just enjoying them.

Pilot

I am so freaking bored. Keeping my head down so Stefan doesn't pick up that I'm here yet is just so… tedious. I've waited 145 years for this comet to come back and the closer it gets, the slower time passes. What I would give to go on a blood binge right now!

Instead of actually enjoying my life, I've spent the past few months gathering intel on the town, working out who the major players are in this game, and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to get my crystal back. I think it may still be in the possession of the Lockwood family but getting it is the challenge. I still have some time before the comet so I'm not too worried yet.

My main concern right now is working out what my little brother is up to. I can't figure out why, but it appears that he is stalking my human. Mind you I'm not sure how I'm supposed to figure out why he is stalking her when I don't even understand why I am. Sometimes I think it must be because she looks like Katherine, but then she does something that reminds me how NOT Katherine she is, and yet, I feel even more strongly drawn to her. Maybe it's the boredom…..this town is just so boring! Who knows how Stefan even found out about her, I can only assume he noticed her resemblance to Katherine like I did. It still doesn't explain what he wants with her though, it is not like he is going to eat her. Saint Stefan and his holy bunny diet, don't even get me started.

It was sheer dumb luck that I even realised he knew she existed. I was going through my nightly routine; feed from some random humans, compel them to forget, then sit on her rooftop and drink until I ran out of booze. Most nights I had my crow sit on the window sill to watch her sleeping while I sat up here drinking. I don't even remember how I started doing this. I've just done it every night since I met her on that road. This one night there was a storm rolling in and her window was closed so had my crow sit in the tree instead and it was from this different perspective that I saw Stefan. He was sitting on the end of her porch. I was so shocked I nearly fell off the damn roof. How long was he there? Had he been there before? Did he know I was here? That night I took off but I have been back here every night since trying to answer those questions. I've stopped using the crow in case he spots it but I think I'm okay. I don't think he has a clue that I'm here, which is fantastic as I head into the next phase of my plan.

Sitting here tonight I can almost hear his brooding, and it's starting to depress me, I think it's time to shake things up a bit. I am so goddamn bored and I've had enough of sneaking around. If he is going to play with my human, I'm going to play with him. Starting tonight.

On a lonely road just outside of Mystic Falls

It's honestly only been about 10 minutes but it feels like I've been waiting for hours to hear the sounds of a vehicle on this road. Now that I've decided to make my presence known I'm buzzing at the thought of draining every last drop from someone. The anticipation is thrilling and it fills my brain with a jittery, bouncy feeling. Finally! I hear the sweet sound of a vehicle, probably a car, so dinner roulette begins. Will I get a single serve snack or a seven course buffet?

As I hear it get closer I decide I'm going to have some fun with this. I concentrate on creating a fog and it begins to drift over the road. I'm standing in the road surrounded by fog, by the time they see me it will be too late to avoid the collision. And just like that I'm flying through the air in utter agony. The pain is fleeting though and I'm almost healed by the time I hit the road. I can hear two panicked voices and two racing heartbeats. Two is no buffet but it will be satisfying after months of good behaviour.

I really don't know why I think it is so funny when people think I'm dead. Perhaps it's that I kind of am dead? Maybe it's that they are about to be? In any case, for me, not laughing is the hardest part about playing dead. I hear the guy walking over to me, why is it always the guy first? Macho, caveman morons. He is freaking out and he grabs at my hand. I launch at his neck and all I feel is pure bliss. Those first few seconds of fresh blood straight from the vein are magic, way beyond anything I ever experienced as a human. As I drain the life from him I vamp to the side of the road and wait for the second course to appear.

She is out of the car, yelling something about cell reception, and then looks scared. I love it when they can't work out what is going on. She is looking for her guy so I think I'll help her find him. Aren't I a nice vampire? I return his body to her and she takes off… hehehe Okay so I MAY have thrown it onto the hood of the car. Her reaction was so worth it, I love it when they run. I let her get a little head start, give her just a little hope to get away. Then I'm on her, vamp speed, and I leap into the woods with her body, delighting in the waves of pleasure that course through me as I drain her completely. Her lifeless corpse falls at my feet. I'm sated and energised, although I believe that's enough fun for one night. How long will it take Stefan to realise I'm home?

The next morning

Following Stefan is seriously boring. Usually. Today he is acting odd though. It can't be anything to do with last night, he is heading in the wrong direction. He seems to be following a car which is weird. Although it is really funny watching him vamp ahead when the coast is clear. If you are going to tail someone don't do it on foot. In broad daylight. Tool. Why is he watching that car so closely? Hmmmm… I know that car, it belongs to the Bennet witch. Oh and look who is in the car with her, my little human. At least now I know why he's following it. Time to play. I send my crow up the street and have him swoop in front of the car. There are screams and skids. I chuckle as I enjoy my distraction from following boring & broody. Ah crap, where is he now? I notice a steady stream of teenagers walking in the same direction the car was headed. Surely not again brother! Seriously? High School for the millionth time? Ah yes, there he is heading into the school. Well at least I know where he'll be during the day, makes playing with him that much easier. Looks like I can hit the Grill for some drinking and diabolical planning. I have a few hours before school gets out.

Later that day as school ends

I'm done with plotting and scheming for the day, time for a little recreation. I use my crow to follow my human while I follow my brother. I'm not sure why I bothered though, they are headed to the same place. The old cemetery. She is sitting down near some graves and writing, probably in a journal. What is with Gilberts and their journals? I have my crow sit on the grave opposite her while I stand behind an angel. Seems appropriate, am I not angelic? I notice the names on the stone where my crow sits. They are Gilberts, her family? This would explain the nightly tears and nightmares I hear so often. I want so desperately to talk to her again. The calm that settled over me the last time left as soon as she did and no amount of stalking has returned me to that state. I know I can't talk to her, I want her to remember me the next time we meet and it is not the right time for that yet. I can, however, interact with her using the crow. I have my crow caw at her until he gets her attention.

"Okay. Hi bird." I smile and he caws again. "That's not creepy or anything." Oh my little human, if you only knew. I step up my attention seeking with a little fog and my crow keeps cawing at her. Finally it gets to her. "Shoo." She tries to scare away my crow and I let her have a little victory by sending him to a grave behind her. All she saw was him fly away. "That's what I thought." Little victory over, let's show her who is really in control around here. I have the crow start cawing at her again and this time she freaks just a little. I watch as she grabs her bag and walks away while my crow flies away. I'm feeling slightly torn between triumph for scaring her so successfully and loss at her leaving. Triumph wins out and I keep building the fog to ensure she stays scared. It must be working because she turns around and for a moment I swear she saw me. There was too much fog for her to really see me, but I'm certain she knows I'm here. I start moving towards her, staying in the fog. At last! She runs! My favourite part of the game. Damn! I was so caught up in playing with her that I had forgotten all about Stefan. Watching her run away from me I see him through the trees, she is running straight towards him. I watch her fall at his feet. Literally. At. His. Feet. Why must my life always be so full of symbolism? She is my human to play with, I put all this effort into getting her running and now Saint Stefan swoops in and saves the fucking day. I really hate my brother.

Later that evening

I'm sitting up here on her rooftop contemplating the day and drinking before going out to feed, when I hear footsteps on her porch. There is no new heartbeat so just in case there is danger I lean over the edge at the end of the porch to sneak a look. Nope, not danger, not unless you are a forest animal anyway. Stefan is just standing there. A 161 year old vampire standing on a 17 year old girl's front porch and he doesn't even have the balls to knock. I'm shaking with laughter, it's so hard to be silent, but then it gets better. She opens the door and Stefan is hilariously awkward, it's like he's never seen a girl before. Not only has he seen, eaten and slept with many girls, he has repeatedly slept with one identical to this one. What a moron! I continue to silently laugh my way through this shy teen drama, watching as he tries to dig himself out of each new hole. She wants to know how he knows where she lives. Does he tell the truth? Nope! I guess his answer WAS less creepy than his truth, or even my truth… and moving on. Then the best part happens…she walks inside and doesn't invite him in! He's stuck! Just standing there! It makes my freaking day. I'm so used to the universe mocking me and outright laughing in my face that when it happens to someone else I'm delighted. When it happens to Stefan I'm ecstatic. Right up until the part where they went off to the fucking Grill together. Stupid asshole universe. I need to eat.

At the Bonfire

I love this town sometimes. So many events full of drunk teens with minimal to zero supervision. Tonight's smorgasbord is courtesy of the back to school bonfire. Even better, my human is here, although downside is she's talking to that bloody Bennet witch. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered to save that family, they've given me nothing but grief and judgement for the last century and a half. Well as long as I can keep my distance she won't know I'm here and can't dob me in.

Looks like my little brother isn't here yet and I need him to be here before I make my next move. Maybe a little eavesdropping can relieve my ever increasing boredom. Hmmm, Bennet witch just freaked out, this could be interesting.

"What?" My human looks concerned.

"That was weird. When I touched you I saw a crow." Oh this IS interesting. Little bitch witch saw a crow.

"What?" I wonder if she's thinking about my crow…

"A crow, there was fog and a man." This just keeps getting better. I'm way more than a man honey. "I'm drunk, it's the drinking. There's nothing psychic about it." Oh yes there is you little witch. You've already picked up on me and you don't even know it. You are going to be more trouble than I thought.

And there is Stefan. I don't really need to hear all this crap he is going to spew so I'm off to scope out the easy pickings in the woods. I've found a good location. Quiet enough not to be noticed but with frequent enough traffic that my toy will be found alive, just like I need them to be. Now I need to watch dear little Saint Stefan so I know when to play. He has to be missing from the group for this to work right. Ha, he just vamped out right in front of my human. Try digging your way out of that one! Even better, he goes for a walk. Perfect timing little brother, now I can eat.

I head back to the spot I picked out earlier and find a girl there. Seems like a good enough meal as anyone else. I start the fog to give it all a nice touch of atmosphere, I'm nothing if not a showman. I must have spooked her because she calls out "Jeremy, is that you?" Ah, nope. Hang on, Jeremy? Where do I know that name from? Never mind, if it's important I'll remember later, right now it's dinner time. I stalk towards her and she turns to me. I vamp behind her before she finishes turning and her apprehension spikes. She turns back around again and I launch, drive my fangs deep into her neck. The rush hits me and I drain her hard, almost forgetting to stop. But I do manage to stop sucking and withdraw my fangs with regret. It's all part of the plan. She must be left alive. Killing someone else now would ruin the plan so I grab a quick snatch, eat, erase on some drunk moron before heading off to the boarding house to wait for the mouse to land in my trap.

I'm sitting on Stefan's balcony rail waiting for him to show up. As I anticipated, I don't have to wait long for my little rodent to show up. He's arguing with Zac, sounds like Zac already blames him for the attacks. This is perfect, my plan is coming together nicely. He finally heads into his room so I send in my crow to give him just a little hint at where things are headed. "Caw, caw." As my crow distracts him and lands in the rafters I appear at his doorway waiting for it to register. And it does. My darling little brother turns to face me for the first time in many years.

"Damon." But of course little brother.

"Hello, Brother." Brother, pain in my ass, back stabbing bastard. My tone implies it all. Having completed his mission to distract I call my crow back out to the balcony to keep watch.

"The crow is a bit much, don't you think?" He's been very useful, watching you without being noticed for ages brother.

"Wait 'til you see what I can do with the fog." You know, like when you were stalking my human.

"When did you get here?" Same time as you, annoying as hell waiting for you.

"Well I couldn't miss your first day of school… Your hair's different. I like it." Or not. But I'm enjoying bothering you so meh.

"It's been fifteen years, Damon." Ooooh he can count.

"Thank god, I couldn't take another day of the '90s. That horrible grunge look, did not suit you. Remember Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads." Unlike me, classic black is timeless.

"Why are you here?" Waiting for Katherine, stalking my human that you're also stalking, fucking with your life… Yeah so not answering THAT question.

"I miss my little brother." Okay, so what I really meant was that I miss making a huge mess of my little brother's life, like my fun I set in motion tonight.

"You hate small towns, it's boring, there's nothing for you to do." Don't get me started on how freaking bored I've been for months, that's why I'm creating my own fun, that and you keep stalking my human… gonna make you pay for that.

"I've managed to keep myself busy." Mostly watching you stalk MY human.

"You know you left that girl alive tonight. It's very clumsy of you." Since when have I EVER been clumsy? Not give a fuck? Sure. Deliberately diabolical? Absolutely. Clumsy? Not a chance in hell.

"Ah… that could be a problem. For you." Let the games begin.

"Why are you here now?" Nope, still not going to tell you.

"I could ask you the same question. However, I'm fairly certain your answer can be summed up all into one little word… Elena. She took my breath away, Elena. She's a dead ringer for Katherine... Is it working Stefan? Being around her? Being in her world? Does it make you feel alive?" Sure as hell works for me. I just can't figure out why. I need to push those thoughts deep inside, I can't risk screwing this up. Okay focus on Operation Piss Off Stefan.

"She's not Katherine." No shit brother.

"Well, let's hope not, we both know how that ended." Yeah, with me getting screwed over and Katherine being stuck in a tomb for a century and a half. Oh wait, maybe we don't BOTH know how it ended… And cue subject change. "Tell me something, when's the last time you had something stronger than a squirrel?"

"I know what you're doing Damon, and it's not going to work." No I'm fairly certain you don't have a single clue what I'm up to. But I'll play your little game for a moment, it plays straight into my game.

"Yeah, come on, don't you crave a little?" I give my brother some nice slaps and rough housing for good measure, let's really wind his little jack in the box crank.

"Stop." Where would be the fun in that?

"Let's do it. Together. I saw a couple of girls out there. Or just… let's just cut to the chase. Let's just go straight for Elena." Crank the handle again and the little bastard is about to pop, he actually shoves me!

"Stop it!" Oh hell no, you're about to lose it. I think one more little twist.

"Imagine what her blood tastes like, I can!"

"I said stop!" Stefan launches at me, sending us both flying through the window. As we fall I steal his ring and vamp away from him. His body splats on the ground. I can't help but smile at the image. Man, he is so easy to wind up. Now to mock his attempt at vampirism.

"I was impressed. I give it a 6, you missed on style, but I was pleasantly surprised. Very good with the whole face… argh thing. It was good."

"Yeah it's all fun and games Damon, huh? But wherever you go people die." Seriously? Did a binge drinking, ripper douche of a vampire just call ME out on people dying?

"That's a given."

"Not here. I won't allow it." Oh that's just too cute. He thinks he has a choice.

"I take that as an invitation." I was already going to make a mess of your life here, now you've just forbidden it, it's going to feel even better.

"Damon, please, after all these years, can't we just give it a rest?" Nope. I'm seriously bored waiting for a stupid comet to come by again. And you are messing with my human.

"I promised you an eternity of misery, so I'm just keeping my word." Even without that promise, I'm so bored out of my mind.

"Just stay away from Elena." Not a chance, she was my human first! YOU stay away from her. What the fuck does he want with her? I can't figure this out and it's driving me crazy. These urges to claim her keep creeping in but I push them away with memories of Katherine and why I'm here in the first place. I can't give away anything until I know what he is up to here.

"Where's your ring?" How has he not noticed yet? I'm sure I'd notice if I suddenly wasn't wearing the thing that stopped me bursting into flames. "Oh, yeah. The sun's coming up in a couple of hours and poof! Ashes to ashes." And I love watching him squirm. But my continued fuckery with Stefan's life does actually require him out and about so… "Hahaha… relax. It's right here." But now that I have his attention I grab Stefan by the throat and throw him into the building. Weak animal feeding moron. "You should know better than to think that you're stronger than me. You lost that fight when you stopped feeding on people. I wouldn't try it again." Or do. Then I can crush you again. I intend to head into the house but then I hear noises from inside. "I think we woke Zac up… Ha... Sorry Zac." Yeah not actually sorry, and not in the mood to deal with any more moronic family members tonight. Maybe I can find some entertainment at the Grill.

When I get to the Grill I see that Bennet witch with a blond girl I saw at the bonfire with my human. I hear her whining about not being good enough and not winning. This sounds like easy pickings to me. Maybe I can get a late night snack out of her. "I try so hard, and I'm never the one!" She continues her whinge, but I have an idea. She's needy which equals desperate so she'll be easy to manipulate. She's also friends with my human which will give me an in to find out what my little brother is up to, and it will seriously piss him off. Bonus! So this looks like a win, win, win for Damon. The little witch walks away and I smile my charming little smile at the blond. Yep, I'm in. I leave before she can do anything more than smile back. Leave them hanging, sure fire way to grab the needy ones.

And now I'm left with nothing to do again. So I go back to my nightly routine. I grab a bottle from my stash and sit on my human's rooftop drinking. Looks like someone else had the same idea. I can see my broody brother standing there looking in her window. I hear her head downstairs and I stifle a groan. I can hear them talking, it's all bullshit. How is his pathetic shy human routine actually working? What the fuck! Please tell me that didn't just happen! No! No! No! No! No! My human did not just invite my brother inside. My night was going so well until right then. Stupid fucking asshole universe. I should be invited in not him. I did the right thing, I let her go. Which is what I need to do now. I'm here for Katherine, not her. I need to go home, drink and forget this happened. Yes. That is exactly what I need to do. But I can't. Instead I keep sitting here. Listening to every lie he tells her. Hating him more for every minute he spends in her room. Hating myself for even caring that this is happening. I love Katherine. I'm here to save Katherine. I will save her and then we will destroy this town before heading off for our eternity together. I love Katherine. Why isn't this working? No matter how hard I try to block it out I have one thought on repeat. Stefan was invited in.