a/n: Voila. First chapter. I'm not really sure how I feel about it… I'm kinda indifferent. But whatever. Reviews are appreciated.
disclaimer: no.
.x TATTOO x.
(some things never go away)
x.x.x.x
The most pathetic part of this whole charade is the fact that she knows exactly when it began. It was October 13th.
x.x.x.x
"Kairi, come on, it's your eighteenth birthday! You only get one of those!"
"Selph, let it go!" Kairi groaned, throwing herself onto the couch, her legs curling automatically underneath her. She sighed as she felt a reassuring arm drape over her shoulders and tighten.
"Don't you want to go out to celebrate your birthday?" Sora asked as he coughed into his free elbow. He pulled her closer anyway.
"Yeah, don't you want to go out?" Selphie repeated obnoxiously.
Kairi snuggled into Sora's chest, which muffled her voice as she said, "Well, I don't want to leave Sora-"
"I've got a bad cold. It's not the end of the world," he explained with a sniff. Kairi huffed, and crossed her arms fiercely over her chest. She did have the tendency to be quite stubborn.
"So what do you plan on doing to celebrate your eighteen years on this planet? Buy cigarettes? Get a tattoo?" Selphie joked, and Kairi stuck her tongue out.
"Kai, just go without me! I want you to go have some fun, not hang with your sick boyfriend. " Sora said.
"Girl's night!" Selphie chimed.
"Yeah, a girl's night."
Kairi's fingers weaved up into her auburn hair, tugging gently. She leaned into Sora and sighed.
"Fine," she groaned, disgust heavy in her voice.
"Yes! Yes!" Selphie shrieked, fingers wrapping tightly around Kairi's wrist. With a firm yank, she was pulled off the couch. "I knew you could convince her, Sora," Selphie muttered with a sly wink.
Kairi groaned. "I can't believe my best friend," she paused, glaring at Selphie, "and my boyfriend," she said, nudging Sora's leg with her foot, "are plotting against me!"
Sora laughed (coughed?). "It's not plotting… it's... just… well, yeah. It's plotting." He grinned.
"Come on!" Selphie exclaimed with a smile, cutting Sora off, "We gotta go to my house first."
"Can't we just… um… go?" Kairi said with a smile, clearly eager to get this over with. Sure, she was only going to turn eighteen this once, but she didn't want to do anything special. "Where are we going anyway?"
"Xiggy's," Selphie said rather matter-of-factly, making her way to the door. Kairi remained at the couch, hand pressing into the worn cushion.
"…Huh?" she and Sora said simultaneously.
"Um, Xiggy's?" Selphie repeated, fingers tugging her yellow jumper down. Still, Sora and Kairi stared blankly at her. "It's that new dance club that opened last month!" she exclaimed, her chestnut hair bouncing as she stomped the floor.
Kairi ran her fingers through her hair. The two had been talking about going clubbing since Selphie had turned eighteen four months ago, but still…
"I can't get in, Selph, I'm not old enough-"
"You weren't old enough… yesterday!" Selphie said with a grin. Realization hit Kairi hard, and her jaw dropped ungracefully. "Now let's get to my house so we can dress up!"
Kairi's grin spread from ear-to-ear, but when she saw Sora lying on the couch, her heart went out to him. He looked so vulnerable.
"Sora, are you sure you don't want me to just stay with you? I could run out and rent a movie…" she offered, her voice trailing away.
"No," he said simply, "it's your birthday, you should go out!" He smiled at her. Kairi smiled back, her heart overflowing with gratitude.
Selphie nodded and grabbed Kairi's wrist, pulling her out the door.
"I'll call you tonight!" she said, her voice echoing in the hallway to Sora's front door. "Love you!"
"Love you more!" She heard him shout (or rather, attempt to shout in between coughs) as Selphie dragged her out the door. Kairi giggled, and hopped in the passenger's side of Selphie's little sedan.
It always made her laugh when he said things like that, as if their love was a competition.
Their love was pure and genuine, untainted by lies and dishonesty. It was unexplainable. They didn't need much- just each other's presence. He was the most precious thing in the world to her, and that's why she laughed.
How could Sora love her more, when he meant so much to her.
Selphie had been babbling on about the outfit she had already picked out for some time, and when Kairi snapped back to reality, she realized that Selphie had taken no notice that she was not following the conversation.
"So, the heels or the flats?"
Kairi shook her head, smiling. She tended to go off in her own little world whenever she thought about Sora.
"Yeah," she replied.
"Yeah… what? Heels? Flats?"
"Um, flats," she said without even thinking.
"That's what I was hoping you were going to say. I mean, my legs are just so… I don't know… blah? But Kai, your calves would look fantastic in a good pair of heels. You have to wear them," Selphie gushed, steering the car into her driveway. They all lived fairly close to each other out in the countryside, so it never took much time to drive from one house to the next. Five minutes, tops.
Selphie sprinted up her front steps, swinging the door open. Kairi laughed and shook her head. Where did Selphie get all this energy? Kairi entered the house, waving a quick hello to Selphie's father.
"Happy birthday!" he said.
"Thanks!" she said as she walked through the hallway to Selphie's room. She should have closed her eyes, because as she entered, Selphie had already stripped to her underwear and was pulling on a pair of tight jeans.
"Selph! Good Lord! Warn me, or something!" Kairi yelled, slamming the door behind her and raising one hand to cover her face.
"Oh, hush," Selphie laughed, jerking a loose halter-top over her head.
"Are we in a… rush?" Kairi asked, plopping down on Selphie's bed. She rolled to her side, stretching her body and taking in the scent of the quilt.
"Yes!" she yelled. "Now, here, put this on." Selphie chucked a pile of clothes at Kairi. She lifted an article in front of her face and groaned.
"A mini-skirt?" she gasped, her eyes widening. "No. Definitely not." She dropped the skirt on the floor, as if it were covered in filth.
"But it's cute," Selphie replied, picking it up and thrusting it back at Kairi. She took it begrudgingly.
"What would Sora think…" she mumbled underneath her breath, tugging her sweatpants off. Selphie merely laughed.
"He would think that he was the luckiest guy in the world to have such a sexy girlfriend!" she giggled, digging through her closet for shoes.
"Oh, my God. You did not just say that!" Kairi groaned audibly and shimmied the skirt onto her hips. "It's so… short!" she complained, trying to yank it down so it covered more of her thighs.
"Kairi," Selphie groaned as she kneeled into the closet, chucking shoe after shoe over her shoulder. Kairi pulled a shimmering blouse over her head as Selphie continued, "It's cute. Just wear it… aha!" She jumped up, clutching a pair of stilettos to her chest.
"I bought these just last summer, and I've never had the occasion to wear them. Please, Kairi, please. Wear them! For me?" Selphie's lips curled into a slight smirk. She knew that she had Kairi in the palm of her hand.
Kairi grabbed the shoes with a jerk of her wrist and sighed.
"The things you make me do, Selph, the things you make me do…" she muttered as she dug her feet into the heels. "I don't know how you expect me to walk in these."
Selphie just laughed and ruffled Kairi's hair. Kairi slapped her hand away forcefully and smoothed her hair back down. When she stood up, she was a good four inches taller than Selphie.
"Wow," Selphie said, head veering off to the right, to get a better look into the mirror.
"I know, right? Look how much taller I am-"
Selphie giggled. "That's not what I was going to say. Just look at you, Kai!" Kairi peered in the mirror. She didn't look that much different to herself. She was just a bit taller, with less clothing than normal.
"Um…" Kairi began.
"If Sora saw you, I don't think he could keep his hands off you!" Selphie cut her off with a sly grin. Kairi's arms crossed over her chest.
"You know he's not like that," she admitted, stumbling slightly as she walked toward the hallway.
"But you wish he was, don't you?" Selphie mumbled, curiosity lacing every word.
Kairi felt the fire race up her cheeks.
Did she?
"C'mon!" Selphie said, "Let's hurry!" Her hand pulled Kairi toward the door.
Selphie bounced along happily, and jumped into her car. Kairi shook off the terrible thoughts trembling in the corners of her mind.
"I love Sora," she whispered to herself, her voice so low that Selphie couldn't hear.
"I am so excited, Kai." Selphie said, peeling out of her driveway. "Aren't you?"
"…Yeah."
The car sped down the road, whizzing past scenery. Kairi buckled herself in, and her stomach knotted. Selphie wasn't the best driver, but Kairi didn't own a car, so she really had no choice.
Besides, she didn't really need a car. If Selphie wasn't able to give her a ride, Sora would. No questions asked.
They rode without speaking, but there wasn't any room for talking. They were both dancing and singing to the radio, ignoring everything around them. Selphie kept saying that it was in preparation for the club, which made Kairi giggle. They entered downtown, and Kairi lowered the volume of the radio so she could take in the sounds of the city.
Kairi rarely went downtown. She never really had a need to. After all, her family, her friends, and her school were all in the countryside, snuggled right next to the ocean. She loved her home. Really, she did. But the city was something else.
Selphie parked the car (rather poorly, actually. She had never really gotten into parallel parking). Kairi slid out, making sure her skirt would stay down with a firm tug. Selphie popped a bit of munny into the meter, and frowned.
"You mean I have to come out and refill this thing every hour?" she complained, kicking the pole. "Dammit!" She grabbed her foot and hopped around. Kairi cracked up, bending over in hearty laughter. Other pedestrians snickered as they walked past.
"Um, Selphie, you don't have to pay at night."
Selphie groaned, released her foot, and started walking up to the club.
The entrance wasn't even on the street; it was pushed into this back alley, hidden from the eye of the public. The line was short, thankfully, but it gave no indication on the number of people inside.
They approached the front, and Kairi's stomach gave a flip. She turned her head down toward Selphie and muttered, "Are you sure this is… y'know, safe?"
When Kairi said things like that, Selphie would usually crack a joke, or overload on the sarcasm. It was annoying at times, but it always made Kairi feel a little better.
"I'm not sure," she said, her green eyes widening as they approached the bouncers. Kairi's throat closed up.
These men were the biggest, scariest guys Kairi had ever seen. Both were tall and incredibly muscular (although the all-black suits they were wearing didn't particularly show it). Kairi approached the one on the left, hands trembling as she dug through her handbag for her ID.
"Xaldin" was printed onto a professional-looking nametag, which was pinned onto his chest. Kairi glanced over at Selphie, who apparently was just as intimidated by "Lexaeus". Kairi grimaced and thrust her ID forward.
Xaldin examined it for a few seconds, and then looked Kairi up and down.
"So, eighteenth birthday…" he commented in a deep voice.
"Um… y-yeah?" she stuttered, shuffling her feet underneath her. She watched as Lexaeus marked a huge red X on the back of Selphie's hand, allowing her an alcohol-free passage. Selphie gave Kairi a reassuring smile and walked in. As the doors opened, the pounding music flooded outside for a moment, and then they slammed shut.
"There's another guy in there whose birthday is today, too," he mumbled, handing Kairi's ID back to her. "The big twenty-one," he said, laughing. Kairi smiled. It was a fake, little one, but a smile nonetheless. As Xaldin marked the branding X on her hand, he grunted, "Happy birthday."
Kairi grinned genuinely, passed by Xaldin without a second glance, and yanked on the heavy door.
Selphie grabbed Kairi by the elbow as soon as she entered.
"It's great, isn't it?" she said, pulling her close so that she could hear. The lights flashed about her, lighting the smooth curves of her cheeks. The colors were changing- brightening. People were dancing all around them, their bodies moving about in a fluid motion.
It was an ocean. Each person was a wave, moving in time to the beat. Bodies pressed up against other bodies. Music flowed between the spaces.
The bass throbbed in her body, and she couldn't really pinpoint the feeling… was it that it made her feel… alive?
But the strangest thing of all was that Kairi didn't really know how to respond. She was, for the first time in her life, speechless.
"Kai?"
"…Yeah?"
"Check that dude out," Selphie laughed, pointing at the bar on their right.
Kairi turned her head, tucking her hair behind her ear as she did.
"…Wow…" Kairi managed to sputter out. It was the only word that her mind could process at the sight.
With his beer bottle risen high above his head, the man danced on top of the bar. His wild red hair seemed to fly back from his face, and his hips grinded with the half-naked female bartender in front of him. She couldn't really see his face.
He laughed mirthfully as he danced in time to the music. Another blonde bartender with little fly-aways for bangs, also wearing practically no clothing, came up from behind and kissed his cheek. He grinned and with his free hand pulled her body closer to his.
Kairi read her lips as the bartender whispered in his ear, "Happy Birthday."
Ah, so he was the birthday boy. And it looked like he was taking full use of his new age. That was definitely not his first bottle of beer.
"It's his birthday, too," she said to Selphie, practically screaming the words.
"How do you know?"
"The bouncer."
"Ha, that's actually really cute. Both of you are having your birthday! You should dance with him."
Kairi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, eyes scanning her surroundings.
She watched as Selphie's body began to bounce to the music, and slowly she made her way into the crowd of people on the dance floor. Kairi laughed and followed, her own hips swaying in time to the beat.
She raised her arms up, spinning around with delight. People pressed against her in a combination of skin, sweat, and skimpy clothing. She felt hot, she felt uncomfortable, and she had never felt so claustrophobic.
But at the same time, she had never felt so free, and she loved every moment of it.
It had been five (maybe even six) songs until she realized how dry her throat felt from screaming lyrics.
"Hey, I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get a water or something," Kairi yelled over the music, smiling. "Want something?" Selphie shook her head and melted into the dancing crowd even more.
Kairi somehow managed to slip out, and instantly felt cooler. She made her way over to the bar and propped her elbows up on the counter.
"Water? Please?" she asked with a wave of her hand. The blonde bartender didn't show any signs of response.
"Larxene, she asked for a water. You still have to tend to the ladies, even though I know you just can't stop thinking about me."
Larxene snorted and disappeared to get a clean glass.
"Hey, princess."
Kairi turned to the voice, rolling her head as she did. She wanted to say something witty, something that she normally wouldn't say, like "Don't call me princess" or even "Fuck off", but her voice became lost somewhere in her throat.
It was the bar boy. Birthday boy.
"Care to dance?" he asked, extending a hand with spidery fingers.
Larxene handed Kairi a small glass of water, and she took a tiny sip. The water rolled down her throat.
"I'm sorry," she said politely, folding her hands in her lap, "I don't know you."
"Axel."
"…Bless you?"
"My name's Axel," he laughed, shifting over to the seat next to hers. Heat seemed to radiate off him. "And you are?"
She took another sip from the glass, and her eyes scanned the dance floor for Selphie.
"And why do you care?" she asked. "You obviously don't realize our age difference." The strange thing was that she couldn't tell if she had said this for him or for herself. Why was she even talking to this guy?
"Let me guess… nineteen?"
"Eighteen. Today."
"Well, happy birthday, no-name."
"You too... Axel."
She took another gulp of water, emptying the glass. She pushed away from the counter and hopped off her seat. He grabbed her hand. His palm was emanating heat.
"Dance with me."
"No," she said disgustedly, ripping her hand from his grip.
"Chicken?" he asked, emerald eyes twinkling with delight. The tattoos under his eyes complimented them well.
"I have a boyfriend" is what she should have said. Maybe he would have left her alone for good. But instead, she wanted to be clever, witty. She wanted this creep off her back.
"Fuck off." She smiled and left to find Selphie.
"Ooh, such vulgarity!" She heard him laugh as she stormed off.
That guy had such nerve. Honestly, wasn't it obvious that she didn't want to dance with him? That she had a boyfriend? But then again, she never really said anything.
She sifted through the crowd and found Selphie dancing with some guy with… was that pink? No… Pink hair?
Selphie caught her eye and winked. Kairi rolled her eyes, trying to stifle a laugh. She started to dance by herself, now that Selphie had been stolen away, but she couldn't seem to shake Axel off her mind.
She stole a glance toward the direction of the bar.
His gaze was straight on her.
She turned back, and tugged on Selphie's arm.
"Shit, Selph, this guy is freaking me out."
"Who, Marluxia?" she said inquisitively, pointing to the pink-haired man.
"No, the guy who was dancing on the bar!" Kairi muttered, eyes flicking behind her shoulder again. Her stomach dropped.
He was making his way through the sea of bodies. Toward her.
"Oh my God, he's walking over here. He wants to dance with me! I told him no, but he's not gonna give up, is he?! Oh my God, what about Sora?!" she exclaimed, her grip tightening on Selphie's wrist.
"It's a dance, Kai. You love Sora, but Sora isn't here to dance with you. I don't know if he would if he was here, but that's beside the point." Selphie shrugged her shoulders, and Kairi grimaced. Axel was honing in on her. "It's just a dance. A dance. It's not like you're cheating on Sora or anything!" she reiterated.
"Please?" Axel cooed from behind her. Kairi whipped around, ready to tell him off again. But she just couldn't. After all, it was just a dance.
"Okay," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "consider this my birthday present to you."
"And do you expect one in return?" he asked, laughing.
"Of course!" She smiled.
At that moment, a heavy beat pounded through the speakers. The DJ with the crazy mullet was dancing a bit himself. Before she could protest, Axel had a hand on her hip, pulling her closer to him.
She saw Selphie behind Axel, winking and nodding like crazy. Her best friend was too enthusiastic some times.
She laughed nervously (it's just a dance, one little dance) and wrapped her arm around his neck. He smelled like smoke and cheap cologne, but somehow it was fitting.
Wait- what the hell was she thinking? She just met this guy-
His other hand made its way to her thigh. Her eyes widened. Her thoughts began to race. She could feel his palm sliding up against her skin and his breath upon her neck as they danced together in one fluid motion. The song blended into another, and soon, into another.
She wanted to say something, but all power of speech that she had held seemed to evaporate.
She felt out of place and right where she belonged all at the same time. She wanted to stop him, but it felt so, so good.
The lights were flashing and the music was pounding and all she could think was "He owns me".
Axel lowered his head slowly toward hers until their lips were dangerously close. Kairi stood on her tiptoes, and the distance was closing, closing, closing-
The DJ announced something, Kairi wasn't really sure (something about the owner, Xemnas?) and the break in the beat made her to come to her senses. With a pounding heart and wide eyes, she pushed away from Axel. She escaped the mass of dancing people, searching for Selphie.
Kairi mentally reprimanded herself. What had she been thinking, really? She almost kissed him!
She bit her lip as her eyes scanned the crowd, but neither Selphie nor Marluxia were to be found.
"Dammit!" she cried, storming out the door past Xaldin and Lexaeus. She glanced at her wristwatch. Where did the time fly? It was nearly twelve-thirty!
She stumbled toward the street, searching for Selphie. Maybe she was in the car?
"Hey, princess!" Axel called out, running after her.
"Shit, shit, shit," she mumbled a string of curses. The car was gone. Selphie had honestly left her. With that Marluxia guy! Kairi was going to kill her.
"Hey!" Axel repeated. "Stop!"
Kairi slowed, massaging her temples. "What?!" she snapped, walking briskly along the sidewalk.
"You hadn't planned on walking home by yourself, did you?" he asked as he jogged to catch up with her.
"Originally, no. But then my best friend kinda left without me. Plans change," she said, grimacing.
"I'll take you home."
"Uh, no thanks."
"No, I'm taking you home."
Kairi stopped. What happened to that sexy, smooth-talker from the club? Had he gone soft on her? And was she seriously thinking of going with him?
"Let's go," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her along the sidewalk. She didn't protest. After all, her feet were killing her.
She stumbled along behind him, noticing how good it felt to have his fingers interlocked with hers. She couldn't recall the last time Sora held hands with her in public.
If there was one word that Kairi could use to describe the night, it was 'awkward'. The walk was quiet, only broken with the occasional mention of direction or a car driving by.
But he held her hand the whole time, fingers pulsating with an eager rhythm, and she held on just as tightly. It was strange.
The city disappeared as they continued, slowly fading into the background of the night horizon. Buildings were replaced by trees, streetlights by stars, and Kairi noticed how much of a change there was in such a short amount of time.
"Here we are," she whispered as the two approached a small, white house. Slowly she released her fingers from Axel's grasp. "I'm sorry," she said, looking at her feet with one hand on the doorknob, "I don't think I'll ever see you again."
She felt like she didn't belong here; she needed to be back in the city. Rolling green hills and pristine ocean water didn't seem to agree with her anymore.
Something inside her had changed. And it wasn't just her new age. Her delicate fingers hesitated on the cool metal knob.
"Says who?" he declared with a smirk, his breath hot and smoky and wonderful on her skin. She bit her lip, and her gaze flew up to meet his.
"I… I don't know."
His lips crashed against hers, and she didn't resist. She pulled into his chest, yearning for more of him. His spidery fingers burrowed into her hair, and hers traced the curve of his neck.
The night twinkled down on them as they kissed under her flickering porch light. His other hand lingered at her back, lowering slowly until it found its place in the pocket of her mini-skirt. She smiled.
"How's this for a birthday present," he breathed into her ear between kisses, "to the both of us."
"Shut up," she commanded, pulling him closer, kissing him harder. Their hearts pounded together, and Kairi felt like she was about to explode from her skin. It felt right and wrong and absolutely wonderful and, hell, even a bit risqué.
Finally, Axel broke away and leaned back, panting.
"So, how about I take you out to dinner tomorrow, no-name? Someplace classy. Pick you up at eight?" He asked, arm arched over her shoulder with his hand pressed against the door.
She couldn't tell you why she said it; she really shouldn't have.
"It's Kairi," she said, smirking. "And I'll see you at seven-thirty."
She opened the door a crack, and Axel grabbed her hand one last time.
"I've been meaning to tell you this since I first met you at the bar." Kairi stopped and looked back at him.
"Hmm?"
"You're beautiful."
Her heart began to race, and no words could come out of her mouth. So she just smiled, and he grinned back.
She slipped inside the house and closed the door behind her as quietly as she could. She kicked off her heels and dragged her tired body upstairs.
She crawled into bed, staring at her bedside alarm. The red digits winked 1:13.
"Wow," was all she could mumble into her pillow before dozing off to a not-so-peaceful sleep.
x.x.x.x
a/n: Review, please. Like seriously. Review. It'll make me happy.