Faltering Trust

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

AN: So I had to continue writing this next chapter since the idea was fresh in my mind.

Let me know what you guys think! Please Please review! THANKS A BUNCH!

CHAPTER 2

Olivia was creeping out of Noah's bedroom when she heard what sounded was a knock. The knock was soft and barely audible. As she closed the door hoping the sound wouldn't wake him up, she stopped to listen, her hand still on the door jamb. The last thing she needed was for Noah to wake back up. He woke up an hour ago with what seemed to be a nightmare. Something that for some reason was becoming more and more of an occurrence. She couldn't hear anything else so she dismissed the sound all together. Must have been her imagination. She was exhausted with working a grueling ten hour shift today with barely 3 hours of sleep, her body was really hating her at the moment. Despite her aching body, she wanted to stay up; felt the need to stay up.

She had received an unexpected call from the DA himself asking her if she knew the whereabouts of ADA Rafael Barba. Confused she answered, "I'm sorry but I haven't heard from him today. Is there something wrong?" Before the DA could answer she already had a sneaking suspicion that something was indeed terribly wrong. She racked her brain to the last time Rafael and she had spoken.

He was lounging on her sofa with his tumbler of scotch on the rocks in his right hand barely touched while his left was lounging across the back of the sofa. As she finished her drink, she looked up at him. He seemed like he was in a trance. He was obviously in deep thought with his eyebrows furrowed slightly gazing down at the dark amber liquid. His eyes were a sullen grayish blue today. Not long after they'd met, she noticed that his eyes changed color based off of what he wore that day. If she hadn't known any better she would think that they changed color with his mood. Today, he wore a light grey suit with matching vest, a lavender shirt, mauve suspenders and tie. His eyes were mesmerizing; some days they were the color they were now, others they seemed to sparkle like green emeralds. She hadn't noticed that she was staring at him until he lifted his sad eyes to meet her chocolate ones. Gloomily he spoke for the first time in what seemed like hours, "She doesn't want to move." He didn't seem to try to hide the sadness in his voice. The Rafael Barba that was sitting in front of her wasn't the cocky, quick-tongued ADA from Manhattan. He was the scared niño from el barrio that he tries to hide from the world for fear of hurting him. At that moment she knew whom he was referring to without him saying another word. She had this sudden urge to move closer to him on the sofa and hold him tightly in her arms. She wanted nothing more than to take away the sadness from his eyes. She feared that he may not welcome her touch and would push her away instead. They hadn't had much physical contact other than the occasional bump or run into each other. So she sat in place without moving a muscle allowing him to speak further if he wished to. He took a swig from his tumbler of scotch before changing the subject. A smirk spread across those beautiful pink lips, "well, I better get going. I have some fish to catch in the morning." He quickly got up from his position and put the now empty tumbler in the sink catching her off-guard. She sat in silence while she watched the niño from el barrio retreat back to where he came. Before he walked out of the door, Rafael turned towards her with the most sincere look in his eyes, "Thank you Olivia." With that he promptly walked out of the door before she could respond.

The DA had asked her another question before he confirmed her suspicions that his Abuelita had passed away. To her surprise the DA was worried about Rafael and had even asked her if she could keep an eye on him to make sure he was fine. She of course immediately agreed, reassuring him that she would be checking in on him regularly. As she hung up the phone with the DA, she quickly dialed Rafael's number. The phone rang until his voicemail picked up, she decided best to not leave a message. She didn't want him to hear the concern in her voice. He would probably scoff at her whenever he managed to call her back.

He always had this air about him that showed strength and dominance. You couldn't walk into a room and not notice Rafael Barba. Even though he was her height, something about him was so very male. She couldn't figure out if it was his cologne, his quick tongue, or the way he carried himself. But she knew better than that, she knew that within that hard outer shell was a frightened niño from el barrio. The very same niño being afraid to show any weakness around anybody, something she understood all too well. After her abduction by Lewis those around her treated her like she was broken, a child that needed to be watched twenty-four-seven, like a victim. She couldn't stand the pitying looks from everyone including her own squad. She was sure they didn't mean to make her feel inadequate, but she could never get away from the secret looks her way that they would toss over to make sure she was ok. It was different with Rafael. Instead of pity, she saw something else in his eyes, guilt. He blamed himself for not locking Lewis up the first time. The first night that he had come over with dinner in hand to go over some case files, she mentioned to him that she didn't blame him for what happened. He looked away from her with what looked like tears that formed quickly in his eyes. When he turned his eyes back to her, the tears were no longer there nor was the guilt. She was sure that he still hadn't forgiven himself but rather hid the guilt from his eyes so she wouldn't see. From that night forward her treated her like before, well maybe not like before. His tone and demeanor towards her was softer; he seemed to seek her approval even at times making sure he caught her gaze when he said something particularly insensitive about a victim to let her know that's not how he meant it. She knew that he had been put through hell through Lewis' second trial going over the gory details of his four day assault on her. He saw right through her just as she saw through him. Albeit it took him longer to show that side of him, all the while she was still thankful. Their relationship shifted slightly that night. A, what she believed, mutual trust between them growing.

He was her friend, this she knew, deep down she also knew she felt more for him but she refused to let herself explore anything more for him than friendship. Her past record with men didn't lie to how many times her heart was broken when she crossed that line. Even with him. She can admit now that she fooled herself once upon a time that Elliot and she would work out somehow. At the time when he left without saying a word, she was devastated and at the time she thought she loved him. Looking back now she understands that it wasn't love for Elliot but more an infatuation. Whether he ever felt anything more for her she would never know. "It would be best if it stayed that way" she thought.

The day seemed to drag by without there being any calls that came in that day. Everyone was just idling about trying to get the motivation to finish all of the paperwork that had been piling up over the past week. Olivia looked up from the diminishing mound of paperwork on her desk pulling out her cell for the umpteenth time to see if Rafael had contacted her back. She saw that he hadn't responded back to her call or texts that she had sent throughout the day. Frustrated she dialed his number and mumbled, "Rafael where are you?" Instead of ringing, the phone went straight to voicemail. This was very odd for Rafael because he never let his battery die past 30% charge. Her worry was starting to get the best of her when she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Amanda Rollins peeked her head through the door, "Hey Sarge, the guys and I were wondering since it's slow if we could head out a little early?"

Olivia looked at Rollins with a steady gaze making sure she couldn't detect her worry. She hadn't told the squad about Rafael's Abuelita. She wasn't sure if he would want her to since she knew he was a very private person making sure his professional and private lives never intertwined. She let out a sigh, "I'm sure the guys would love to be able to catch the Knicks tonight. I guess we could all use the rest after such a busy week."

"So, is that a yes?" She drawled out.

Olivia laughed, catching Rollins off-guard, "Yes, that's a yes. I better see everybody out of the squad room before I leave." She stated the last part with a bit more seriousness.

"Thanks Sarge!" As Rollins was closing her door, "Hey guys, we need to dip outta here before Benson comes out!"

"Don't have to tell me twice." She could hear Fin say from the other side of the door, chuckling to herself. Her squad scrambled to grab their things to head towards the elevator.

"Hey wait for me!" Carisi yelled to the others. Obviously he was a little too slow for the liking of the others.

Olivia waited until she couldn't hear any more noise coming from the squad room before she emerged from her office after gathering her things to go home. There was still some light out being that it was only 6:30 pm. First she thought that she would walk home being that she would still be early enough to feed and bathe Noah herself. As soon as she stepped outside of the precinct, the cold wind air blew over her face chilling her to the bone. Obviously as the day progressed, the temperature had dropped into the single digits. Quickly she turned to walk towards the curb to hail a cab.

Once she arrived home, Noah was cranky as ever. Lucy explained that he refused to be put down for a nap. She thanked Lucy as she gathered her things and left. Looking back at the now closed door she turned back to Noah and brushed a kiss on his soft hair. The rest of the night consisted of her fighting with Noah to do anything. He was so tired from lack of sleep, all he would do is have a fit about everything. After being able to soothe him back to sleep again after his nightmare, she walked towards the kitchen. Tonight was definitely worth a glass or two of wine to unwind. With worry over Rafael still not contacting her back after the few attempts to contact him and with Noah being so fussy tonight, a drink was surely needed. That's when she heard it. It was clearly a knock, just a single knock. She set the bottle and wine glass down to move towards the door to see who it could be. Deep down she was hoping it would be Rafael. When she opened the door to see who it was, she stood there dumbfounded. There was nobody there. She was certain she heard a knock, so she poked her head out of the door to see down the hallway but was met with an empty hallway. Confused, she closed the door and made sure she locked the door nice and tight for good measure.

"Well that was weird." She exclaimed as she took the now full glass of wine to her lips.