Chapter 2: His

"I like you."

And you don't love me back

Takeru sighed, his body fall back on his nice bed after he tossed his bag in the corner of the room. He didn't usually being that lazy, but to be honest he didn't have the energy to even do something as simple as that.

How could you not be lazy if you just been rejected by the girl you loved for your nearly entire life?

He already done everything, from purposely talking about girls to make her jealous, to confess directly at her without a hole for any misunderstanding.

And what he got is a sight of Hikari-chan running away after hearing his confession.

Takeru closed his eyes while sighing. No matter how many times he tried to distract his mind, that sight kept playing on his head, haunting him as if reminded him of a thing he didn't want to admit, praying every day for it to not becoming reality.

The fact that Hikari didn't love him back.

He wanted to cry if he could, but somehow the tears won't come out. He knew. He knew from the beginning that this love is unrequited, you could see from how Hikari-chan praised him for being popular with girls instead of being jealous, or when she's fine with hearing some girls confess to him instead of feeling awkward. But somehow he grasped that tiny spark of hope, even if it's small, hope that maybe there's chance that his love was requited. Looking at today's event, maybe, from the beginning, the thing he grasped were just false hope.

He couldn't cry because he knew that this would be happened. He knew that subconsciously he visualized that scenario on his head. The moment he confessed is the moment this story of his first love ended. And to think he called himself the holder of the crest of hope.

But the curious thing is, he knew that he should've felt regret for confessing, but he's not. He knew that he should've felt sadness for the ending of his first love, even if he promised to never forget it until the day he died, but the truth is he's glad he confessed.

Because that mean he could move forward.

He didn't regret it, he thought, he didn't regret confessing his feeling to his best friend.

And the tears finally come out.

"Happy valentine day, Takeru-kun."

But I love you

He wanted to scream at that moment. There's so many things he wanted to say to this dense girl in front of him. Why are you running away? Why didn't you give me your answer?

Doesn't she see that he lo-

Every thought was gone the moment he saw her smile. So soft, so peaceful, it's as if all her problem were gone out from her mind. When he looked at a smile like that, it's obvious that every thought and word he wanted to say were gone just like that.

Hikari-chan was not fair, he thought, because with a smile like that, who is he to be able to denied every wishes she wanted?

The wish to finished everything, finished every chance for them to be in romantic relationship.

It's obvious when you looked at it, really. Hikari-chan clearly just saw him as her best friend. He knew he should've just accept it already. No matter how he fought, from giving some small clues to really confessed, he should know that there's no way to change how she see him.

Maybe it's really times for he to learn to not be egoist and started to think about other person's feeling. After all, if he indeed loves Hikari-chan, even if he was to be rejected, if the person he love were happy then he will learn to be happy for her, even if her happiness was not with him.

That small dream when he makes her the happiest woman alive was gone just like that.

It's really not fair.

That's why he forced a smile on his face while trying to hide the sadness from his eyes. After all, he didn't want the brunette to carry the burden of her answers. He could only hope that with this smile, Hikari-chan could be more relaxed and didn't think more about his feeling. He could only hope that with this smile, Hikari-chan could now try to chase the one she love peacefully, whoever the lucky bastard who got her honmei chocolate is.

The way home was never felt this awkward. But somehow, the way home was also never felt this peaceful.

And you like me too

When he looked at how they've interacted for nearly half his life, he could safely say that yes, Hikari also like him.

But only just that. Hikari likes him, not loves him.

Sighing, Takeru looked at the corner of the room where the chocolates that he got today lie. He knew that nearly all of them were honmei chocolate, filled with all the girls' felt of him. As usual he can't look at them too long, because no matter what, he knew he can't answer those feeling. How could he rudely look at others' feeling when he knew he couldn't reciprocate it.

Among the pile of chocolates was Hikari-chan's, but really, he doesn't want to think about it. Seeing that the chocolate was giri, like every year, makes him didn't want to looked at it for the moment. Because no matter how hard he tries, her smile that evening were still played on his head, smile that says it's the end, this love stories of his. Smile that was just a bitter reminder of his unrequited love.

It's not fair for the other girls, he knew, even violating his own principle to just discard those girls' feeling for him, but he knew that if he looked at those chocolate for any longer he would go mad. It would just make him felt the sadness, anger, and then guilt for having that kind of feeling for his best friend.

(doesn't mean he regret having that kind of feeling anyway).

Because again, among the pile of chocolates was Hikari-chan's, and seeing it means that he's seeing Hikari-chan's giri chocolate.

He really is the worst man in the whole world. Many girls wearing their heart on their sleeves with these chocolates, but he could only look at that one chocolate.

He's fed up with chocolates already.

I like you

Just those 3 words, he thought, if only she said those 3 fucking words, could he possibly hope again?

Because hoping too much will make you hurt when it doesn't become reality. He knew it the best, being the holder of crest of hope, and that's why he tried to not put too much hope. It sounded ironic, he won't deny that, but that's the only thing he knew to protect his own heart.

He cried for a while. For his unrequited love. For his first love to end. For his hope to vanished completely.

For the fact that he could move forward now.

And he cried, because he didn't want to move forward. He wanted to kept holding this precious memory of his, even if it's a sad story. He wanted to kept replay each moment, each second, in his head so badly.

And he cried, because no matter what he knew he had to move forward. He knew he can't be like this forever, dwelling in the past. He had to move forward, because he knew he still has his future ahead of him. Life kept going, and it didn't stop just because your love was not reciprocated by a girl, even if the said girl is the most amazing girl he ever met in his entire life.

After a while he cried, the blonde wiped his tears and looked at his phone. Even without looking at the time in his phone he knew it was late to called someone.

But he knew he had to do it, if he indeed wanted to move forward.

For a while he looked at Hikari's name on his contact. Maybe he should call her, telling her that he was sorry to confessed knowing that she didn't looked at him like that. He was sorry to make their friendship awkward. He was sorry for loving her. But he didn't have that kind of courage. He was just a coward with being her best friend as a cover. When the situation called, he couldn't act as her best friend, making his own feeling as an alibi. Some best friend he is.

He immediately skip past Hikari's name. He remembered one of the girls who confessed to him that noon. She was one of the girls who made him impressed, and he knew it was not an easy feat. Not because she was beautiful, not because she was smart, even if she was indeed both. No, he was impressed because of how she confessed. Even though she took her time calling him to the yard to confess, the first thing she said to him is that she knew his feeling for Hikari. She knew about it, and he knew it must be hurt, but she could still say that she would be waiting for him with such a calm tone. That kind of thing… was quite rare he got from girls, when someone appreciate his feeling but still could accept it and said that she's willing to wait for him. Her physique which was really different from Hikari-chan was only a plus for him.

He knew she could help him moving forward.

"Ayano-san. Sorry for calling you at this late of night, but I want to talk to you right now." Takeru took a deep breath. "It's about your confession this noon at the yard."

Here's the thing