Note: Hope your buckled in! It gets intense and deep and Fast! As I said before, this takes place some where in season four but it is a bit drifted from the show. Though not entirely, it follows the show up until season four. This story explores what could have happened after Dean got back from Hell, if Sam followed Ruby. Also: Haley's twenty-one, Dean's thirty like in the show. This chapter is graphic and intense. It exaplains Dean's back story and next chapter explains Haley's, while everything is still going on in the present.

Part two: High Off Her Love, Drunk Off My Hate

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels likeAnd right now it's a steel knife in my windpipeI can't breathe but I still fight while I can fightAs long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flightHigh off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint

Lying on the cheap mattress, covered in old thin linens that reeked of smoke and spilled booze, Haley was trapped somewhere between still asleep and coming to.

The night played like a movie reel behind her eyes lids. Frame by frame, moment by moment. She and Dean had spent most of the night at a seedy little bar next to the motel of the week, full of burly men, and cheaper women. Drinking until they were both three sheets to the wind, enjoying the feel of rubbing up on each other, and getting lost in a place most people were never found. Just another day in the life of Haley and Dean until his intoxication level reached it's peak. Until the nightmare of his life began to spew from his plump pout like acid rain. Rambling tales of paranoid nightmares slipped free off his rough voice.

Tales about a demon slut stealing his brother from his side and turning him to the dark side. About loosing both his parents to the same hell spawn creature with haunting yellow eyes he could still see in the dark. About the flames of Hell, and how they made his skin bubble and pop. About the way they had ripped him limb by slow torturous limb. Then worst of the all, Dean talked about the things he did down there to make his own agony stop. About slicing, and dicing, and flaying alive as his victims screamed for mercy while in agonizing unspeakable pain, and how in his darkest hours Dean could still hear them screaming in his head.

Haley tried to be supportive. Tried to hold his hand, tried to sooth away the pain with her love, but after awhile she couldn't stand hearing it anymore. The things he said were so fucked up they left her brain a twisted horror show, jumping at shadows if she listened too long.

Trying to put an end to it, she said she was heading back to the motel. Haley had tried to convince him to go with her, but in one of his moods, and independent to a fault, Dean brushed her off, and told her to go.

Haley vaguely remembered reaching the motel in her drunken haze before crashing on to the lumpy mattress. Passing out as she hit the sheet's.

Next sensory memory she recalled, Haley was being stirred to consciousness to the seducing sensation of Dean's perfect pout teasing the bud of her nipple through her shirt, his weight atop her, as his rough hands tugged the fabric of her jean skirt, and panties off her hips.

Coming to as a moan broke free from her lips, Haley was never able to resist him. She couldn't have said no to him even if she wanted… and she didn't. Out of all the screwed up aspects of their relationship, this they did right. This they knocked out of the park. Dean's lips found hers hungry for the touch as he slipped between her bare thighs. Pulling his boxers off his butt, it took seconds before he was inside her. Haley gasped out a breath, arching up against him to the intoxicating invasion.

Dean's appetite for her was insatiable, and she loved it, because no one had ever wanted her so badly before, and loved her at the same time.

Haley knows Dean loves her. She also knows taking her cloths off is the easiest way for him to show it. It's the little moments like when their eyes catch as his hips push him deeper into her. She can see it in his penetrating emerald eyes as they blazed down on her. She can see it while he holds back the urge to come, before his mouth dives down on hers to steal the breath from her lips. That he loves her probably more then anything he had ever dared to love before. Maybe that's part of the reason he hates her too, because not even his love for her could fix all the bullshit he went through, and has to face in his memories every day.

Haley's mind relived the heated night as the light streamed in through the faded motel curtains before she finally stirred awake.

She was still tangled in his arms the way she last remembered, barely dressed in her flimsy white tank top. A smile slipped over Haley's sleepy face with the feel of his strong arm around her as her chocolate eyes fluttered open. Her pupil caught their hands still interlocked at her side.

Haley's eyes noted the way his callused hand looked so big compared to her small delicate one. That's when her chocolate eyes caught it. Blurry at first before her vision became more pristine. Clear as day the name Brandy was scrawled across the top of his hand with her number just below.

The betrayal stabbed through her heart as Haley felt a fire rumble up from within her. Her breath picked up as the tears burned in her eyes as they began to form. She gave him everything, everything he wanted. No restraints, and still he cheated on her when the cocktail was right.

Throwing his arm off her with angered force, Haley shot up on her knees against the mattress to find his face.

"Who's Brandy? You promised no more! You promised!" She hollered at his still half asleep face before her tiny fists pummeled his bare chest. Slamming down her balled up hands as hard and as quick as she could while the tears took a free fall off her face onto his skin.

Coming to with a jolt from her rampage, raised a hunter, Dean was quick on the rebound. Grabbing her arms tight in his grip, in a second Dean flipped her on the mattress, and held her down beneath him. His heated gaze wild upon her as if she was crazy before his mind realized what she was loosing it over.

The anger inside Dean instantly dissipated as his stunningly handsome face got within inches of hers, his emerald eyes pinning her to the bed. "Baby, I didn't do anything. I didn't touch her. You gotta believe me." The rough texture of his thick voice pleaded with her as he lied. Only in the morning light that made her pain stand out like a spot light did Dean know how wrong he was. Only then did he wonder why he did the things he did to her. When she was the only woman he ever really loved. Though if he was honest with himself he'd see that was exactly why he did the things he did.

And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocateAnd right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she f**kin' hates meAnd I love it, "wait, where you goin'?", "I'm leavin' you," "no you ain't come back"We're runnin' right back, here we go againSo insane, cause when it's goin' good it's goin' great

Feeling her fight against his grip, Dean cupped her cheeks tight in his palms as his eyes begged her to believe his lies, and his body weight held her to the bed. Lies that hid mistakes he was so regretful for he wanted those lies to be true. Needing to prove his love, Dean's lips dropped to her neck. Where he desperately tried to make her forget with the seduction of his pout, and hands that loved to find her curves.

Haley felt her mind and heart slipping back under his spell with his intoxicating mouth and hot breath upon her skin that felt better than anything ever had. Until the distinct scent of a woman slipped up her nose, a scent not her own. So strong, Haley wondered how she missed it last night.

Her heart throbbed in her chest as she was forced from denial, and into the light of the ugly truth. "You're lying!" She screamed at him through thick tears.

Hands free, Haley socked him hard on the side of the head with everything she had inside. Taken off guard, Dean went tumbling off the bed from the force with a loud thud upon his landing.

Fast like lightening Haley yanked on her skirt, and began shoving her few belongings in her duffle bag. She had gotten good at being quick when she packed up to leave him before he could make her stop. Too bad for all her speed Haley never had the strength to stay gone.

Duffle in hand, Haley charged for the motel door, Dean hot on her heals. His loud gritty voice was foreboding as it filled the room, but a desperate breaking was cracking inside his heart with her rapid departure. "Where are you going?"

Never turning back out of fear the haunting beauty of his eyes would suck her back in, Haley never stopped her step as she yelled back her answer with just as much venom.

"I'm sick of this, Dean! I'm leaving you!" Her voice pitched with the passion of her scream. Her breath sniffled against the tears.

Simple and sure, his answer came quick. "No, your not." The rough texture of his breath so sure. Dean had lost everything in his life. Everyone who ever mattered. He had been to Hell and back. He wouldn't loose her, he couldn't bear it. Grabbing her bag off her shoulder, he threw it across the room.

Volatile like life taught her to be, Haley spun back around. Her close fist swinging, it hit him square in the jaw with a blowing force. Stumbling back, Dean's feet moved quick as he tried to maintain his balance. A pounding pain unleashed in his jaw.

Rebounding on his feet, something hot and explosive like TNT ignited in his piercing emerald eyes as they found her again.

In a second, Dean reached Haley. Grabbing her with a death grip by her arms, Dean swung her away from the door, and slammed her against the wall with a bone crushing thud. An uncontrollable cry slipped from Haley's lips with the impact as she struggled against his grip.

Dean hovered over her, within inches of her face. Placing his hands flat against the wall on either side of her head, Dean held himself over her like a cage. "You're not leaving, do you understand me." Dean methodically informed her with cold emerald eyes that let her know who was in charge. His heart deathly certain he was never letting her walk away. She was the only thing left standing in his life. She weaseled her way in his heart. He loved her, now she had to stay.

Haley could feel his hot breath on her face as her own breath constricted. Closing her eyes Haley choked on every inhale, but kept her lips mute.

Anger rushed through him with her silence as Dean slammed his open hand down hard onto the wall next to her face causing her to jump with fright

Haley tried to stay calm as his dominating presence never moved away from her. She felt the breath off his lips, hot and moist hitting her face as she dared to open her eyes.

All the torment and rage that had been growing for months between these two powerful storms shot from his eyes. And yet somehow they were unable to survive without each other. Everything bad Dean had feared could happen if they were together had happened. She had brought out the demons inside him from his little experience down in Hell, and now she was running scared. She wasn't sorry about the pain she was putting him through, afraid maybe, but he could see she wasn't sorry.

Fist tight and clenched, Dean waited until their eyes met before he sent that fist flying.

Taking all of it, all the emotions raging inside him, Dean threw his fist through the wall next to her head. His knuckles slide smoothly threw the plaster on contact.

Haley screamed, and jumped in response as she witnessed his quick movement's inches from her face momentarily unsure if his fist was aimed at her.

Dean looked from his hand in the wall to Haley trembling with fear beside it. He couldn't take it. He hated her for having the power to make him like this. He couldn't bear seeing her in so much fear, and knowing he was the cause of it, and yet he couldn't make it stop.

Crumbling against the sight of the tears forming in her pleading eyes, the fear in her dilated pupil. It always amazed Dean that despite everything that had happened to her she hadn't lost the innocent beauty of her eyes that always got to him. Pulling his hand free, Dean cupped her face gently in his rough textured palm. Leaning in, he rested his forehead against hers as his heart stung with the guilt of loosing control.

"I'm sorry baby. She didn't mean anything to me. You know it's you I want. You just make me so crazy sometimes." Dean confessed in a twisted but heartfelt apology.

Pulling back inches enough for their eyes to meet as he felt her gentle hand touch his prickled face in response. "I love you too." Haley admitted, breaking down against the hurt in his voice, the sincerity in his eyes. Most of all, the way no matter what he did her heart still screamed his name, and longed for his touch. She knew it was sick, but she couldn't help the way she felt. It was still better then anything she ever had before.

As their eyes held the flame that first ignited them lit in an instant. Their lips crashed together, hungry, insistent, and needy for repentance.

His hands were forceful with a different purpose this time as Dean pushed her harder against the wall with frantic hands that tore her jean skirt off her hips. In one switch movement he yanked her legs up, and around him as everything inside him demanded to be with her. To get as close to her as humanly possible in hopes they would dissolve into one being, because she was his heart and soul even if both those things were tarnished beyond repair.

Moving to the same urgency, Haley's desperate hands had his jean's unbuckled in moments, before the sound of the heavy fabric hitting the ground filled her ears.

Gripping her butt as he shoved her harder against the wall, in seconds Dean was within her, hard and fast. Their hands groped widely with an urgent need to touch and feel, while their mouths devoured each other hungry and desperate. Pretending they could just screw this one away. If Haley screamed his name loud enough, and Dean gave it go her hard enough they'd just forget that he cheated… They'd just forget they were hurting each other… They'd just forget she was going to leave…

I'm superman with the wind in his back, she's Lois LaneBut when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapWhose that dude? I don't even know his nameI laid hands on her, I never stoop so low againI guess I don't know my own strength

Note: So what did you think? Too twisted? Could you understand where they were coming? Did it feel like they loved each other even though it's toxic? Feel free to be brutally honest