Well, here's another addition to my weird Canada fics.

This collection won't be updated regularly, just when something comes up that I think is interesting in the Canadaverse.

So, in this story, you should know that I've changed Kumajiro's name to Kumajira, and that Kumajira is Canada's teenage daughter.

"But daddy!" Kuma yelled like the little brat she was.

"N-no, Kumajira, you can't see him again!" Canada scolded his disobedient daughter.

Kumajira was a striking girl with bobbed white-blond hair and big brown eyes. She had a red maple leaf tattoo peeking out from under her hair on the nap of her neck and a grand total sixteen piercings on her facial area along with a belly button ring. (Five on her right ear, seven on her left, one in her nose, two in her eyebrow, one in her lip) She wore lipstick the same red as her maple leaf tattoo, her eyelids a smoky gray. Fake lashes reached her eyebrows and black eyeliner quirked into cat eyes. Her face was surprisingly round for such a rebellious child, but her nails were kept long and were nearly as sharp as bear claws, and she could use them. Long story short, this girl looked and acted feral.

"I'm sixteen I can do what I want!" she yelled, dropping on the floor, going into an all-out hissy fit.

"No you can't! Kuma, stop that right now!" Canada tried to be stern, but his voice just couldn't reach that level. "Stop, or I'll take your car away from you!"

She suddenly goes quiet, "You wouldn't."

"Yes I would."

"Not if I call him. He'd stop you."

"He doesn't even know me!"

"Well if you weren't so damn invisible maybe he would!" Kuma jumped up and ran outside.

Canada gasped, knowing exactly what she was doing. "Stop now, young lady!"

She was already in her car. She yelled, "Maple you!" before tearing out the driveway. Canada seethed internally, dragging himself back to the house. He had to do something about this girl. He mustered up some courage and stormed his daughter's room. First things first; destroy her things, and forget what happened last week.

Well, last week, Kuma ran away to meet him. Canada hated him; he never remembered Canada's name, and wanted to steal his little girl. Canada vowed he would get revenge on the insane bastard.

Russia.

Just the other day, his little Kuma was going around singing some weird little song about becoming one with Russia. Canada would never allow that! Russia was a freaky vodka addict who is married to his sister! (According to Belarus, the marriage part at least) Kumajira had gone as far as getting the Russian flag tattooed on her ankle! So, when Canada saw that tattoo of betrayal, he decided what he would have to do if she ran off again. So she has, so his plans are set in action.

The first thing to do is to call Russia himself. Canada mustered up his courage, for his little girl, and called the Russian giant. His hone shook in his hand as the ringing stopped and someone picked up.

"Da?" Russia answered the line.

"Y-yes," Canada started, only to be cut off.

"Who is this? You sound vaguely familiar, but I can't place your name."

Canada slowly became frustrated, "I'm Canada! And I want you to stay away from my daughter!"

"Who?"

"Maple!" Canada yelled into the phone before hanging up quickly.

Meanwhile, Russia sat in his living room, looking at the phone, utterly confused. Kumajira had recently arrived (because the countries have amazing super powers and so do their offspring) and was sitting all slut-like next to Russia. "Who was that?" she asked in faux innocence.

"Somebody asking for someone named Maple," Russia smiled pleasantly. "I know of no such woman. Do you know Maple?"

Kuma lied smoothly, knowing only her father would use such language, "No, I wonder if they had the wrong number?"

Back in Canada, Canada was making one very fateful phone call. He stared at his phone, knowing one person could help him, and would help him. Should he call him? Maybe this would be too harsh on his daughter, considering he just burned most of her belongings . . . nah. He picked up his phone and dialed for the evil wizard of the Hetalia world.

"'Ello?" England answered chirpily, which usually meant 'I'm making scones!'

"England, I need your help."

"Who's this?"

"It's Canada," he sighed, giving up entirely. "I need you to help me with Kumajira."

All the way over in the UK, England sweat dropped. He smiled carefully, hoping the smile showed on his voice. It didn't. "Ah, she's a . . . lovely girl . . ."

"S-she ran off with Russia," Canada says. "She has to come home eventually, and I want to teach her a lesson."

"Hm," England murmured, intrigued. "So, how do you know Kumajira?"

"I'm her father!"

"What?" England puzzled. "Oh well. What was your name again?"

"I'm Canada!" he said louder into the phone. "Can you come to my place, in Canada, and help me?"

"Um . . . sure?" England agreed cautiously, only doing so because he saw an opportunity to use magic. Flying Mint Bunny agreed with him, and instead of waiting for him to start the adventure, FMB took off ahead of him. England failed to notice said departure and paid no mind to his missing minty friend.

Little do most people know, but Flying Mint Bunny has his own magical cult that turns people into animals that they think are befitting of their behavior. So, Flying Mint Bunny called an emergency magical animal meeting to see if they should take action. Of course, they decided that Flying Mint Bunny himself should help out and take care of the problem.

Meanwhile, England was trying to figure out where the bloody hell Canada lived, only to find it shortly after FMB. So, FMB, England, and Canada all staked out in the bushes waiting for Kumajira to come running back home. They were a very good spy team, since few people ever took account of Canada, most people couldn't see Flying Mint Bunny, and England was a damn good spy. Eventually the rebellious teenager came home, and that's when FMB saw his chance to act.

Flying Mint Bunny swooped down and flew around Kumajira, her not noticing anything and England too dumbstruck to move. Flying Mint Bunny dropped Flying Mint Bunny dust on Kumajira and suddenly she started glowing and floating (like Kenai in Brother Bear) and her car proceeded to crash into the living room. Canada and England both stared as suddenly, the glowing stopped, and a small white polar bear sat on the ground.

"What the maple just happened!" it asked in a cute, small voice. "Canada . . . CANADA! WHY ARE MY HANDS FURRY!?"

"You turned her into a bear?" Canada asked, not with anger, but with pure curiosity. He and England stood up.

"Um . . ." England looked around and found Flying Mint Bunny smiling smugly at his work. "Yes."

"Good choice."

So from that day forward, Kumajira officially hated Canada. And, to annoy him, she always asked who he was. Canada changed her name to Kumajiro, implying she was a guy, which made her even madder. What made it worse was when Canada purposefully said the wrong name.

And this is the story of Kumajira/Kumajiro and Canada.

Fin.

I loved writing this :) So yea, this is my theory behind Kuma and Canada's relationship.

Reviews are appreciated!