"This is insane." Matt said for the fifth time.
Mello rolled his eyes.
"Since when has that mattered to you?"
"Since we grew too big to fit under this table. I mean really, Mels. Nobody's here, can't we just sit on chairs like normal people-"
"No! Normal people are boring! And they're always the first to die in an apocalypse!"
Matt raised an eyebrow.
"Fine," Mello sighed. "But if we get probed by giant pink fish, don't come crying to me."
The pair crawled out from under the dining hall table and settled in chairs on either side. Mello pulled detailed blueprints from his backpack and smoothed them out on the table.
"So, what's the plan?" Matt prompted, and Mello consulted his notebook of 'evil plans'.
"I'm thinking a super-virus."
"Okay, do you have one?"
"Not yet," Mello looked up from his neatly-written dot-points (of Doom). "But I'm pretty sure we could fabricate one on our own, given time."
"Yeah, we probably could," Matt conceded. "But we don't really have time, and I'd prefer a non-lethal method."
Mello nodded and uncapped a black marker, beginning to cross out the lethal ideas. Knowing Mello, it would take a while. Matt reached into his pocket.
17th Magikarp caught (for shits and giggles), Mello made a satisfied noise, indicating a job well done and lots of wasted marker ink.
"So," Matt shifted his thumb, and cut off Nurse Joy mid-sentence. "Ideas?"
"How do you feel about arson charges?"
"No."
"Alien hoax?"
"Too much work."
"Flood the dorms?"
"And have to clean up after?"
"Blackmail Roger?"
"Legal suggestions, Mello."
"Release a leopard onto the grounds?"
"Where would we get a leopard? And how would that even help?"
"Well you're not really helping me come up with ideas!"
"You don't usually need any help." Matt sighed and adjusted his goggles. "If you act like you normally do around them, your roommates will ask to be moved pretty soon anyway."
"Not enough. We have to be drastic. So drastic that we'll always get our own room in future."
"Well, make them think that we're more dangerous separated than together. We'll need an excuse to be apart all the time, pretend we had a fight. Then we try to outdo each other at annoying everyone here."
"You're a genius."
"Duh."
"But Matt…" Mello bit his lip nervously.
"What's wrong?"
"You do realise that, for this, you'll need to get off your lazy arse?"
Matt rolled his eyes.