Disclaimer: Still don't own Sailor moon *sob* Also the song lyrics are not mine, those belong to The Script.

Am I better off dead?

Am I better off a quitter?

They say I'm better off now

Then I ever was with her.

As they take me to my local down the street

I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet.

I suck in a deep through my nose and exhale it slowly through my mouth. I glance at the clock for the 10th time in 5 minutes. I'm anxious. No point in denying it. Yamada, the Kou brothers, Mamoru and a couple of the other guys will be here soon. Ever since the fight/breakup with Michiru they've been on Operation Cheerio. And tonight they've decided that to get me to cheer up, uh, get cheerio, we were going to the pub right down the street. Just as I start getting lost in my thoughts there's a knock at the door. Hesitating for only a second I open the door. Mamoru is standing on the other side, an apologetic smile on his face. I smile at him uncertainly, locking the door behind me. The others all joke and laugh as we begin the trek down the block and I do my best to seem as excited as they are.

They say a few drinks will help me to forget her

But after one too many I know that I'm never

Only they can't see where this is gonna end

They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense

An hour in to our adventure at the pub and I can confidently say that I'm pretty far gone. We started with a round of shots and about 10 more followed in pretty quick succession. Thrown in with some random drinks a couple of guys a few tables over treated us with when they overheard my loudmouth friends telling everyone with ears why we were here. Apparently guys are very supportive of others during break up blues. That or they just wanted a reason to drink more. But either way, now that I was feeling pretty intoxicated I was starting to realize that I'd never be able to let her go. I'll never be able to forget her smile, her laugh, her voice. I'll never be able to forget HER. And with as much liquid courage as I've had my intoxicated mind convinced me that the plan it was currently brewing up would make her come back to me for sure.

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down

Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town

I'm swearing if I go there now

I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words

And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred

After handing my card to the only one of my friends who was sober (Mamoru of course) I stumbled out the door, not waiting for anyone else. I was gonna march my ass down to Michiru's new apartment and tell her everything. I was gonna apologize for the fight and tell her that I still loved her and that we should be together. And she's gonna see that I'm right and even though I'm drunk she's gonna welcome me with open arms because she's gonna see the logic in what I'm saying. Calling her name out loud a couple times just in case she happened to be around I stumbled down the street, my friends hot on my trail as they try to convince me to stop yelling your name and to rethink this plan of mine. They eventually just force me to sit down and I have to give up my hope of finding you and telling you face to face. But in a flash of inspiration I start searching my pockets, eventually finding my cell and immediately dialing your number.

Dialed her number and confessed to her

I'm still in love but all I heard

Was nothing

She said nothing

Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing

As soon as I heard the phone picking up I started talking. I poured out everything in one long breath. I told you I was sorry for the fight and for any fight we've ever had. I told stupid jokes that weren't really all that funny and silly stories and memories. And then I finally just came out and said that I loved you and I'd always love you. I waited for a response as the intoxicated audience in my mind cheered me on and assured me that there was no way you would turn me away after that. At the same time I could see the looks of concern on my friends' faces as Mamoru slowly shook his head. At that time I thought it was because he was disappointed in me for clinging on to you. It wouldn't be until the next morning that I realized that it was because you already knew what her response would be. I waited and waited but there was no response on the other line. My eyes filled with tears as I ended the call and slipped into the dark that suddenly came up to meet me.

Oh sometimes love's intoxicating

Oh you're coming down your hands are shaking

When you realize there's no one waiting

I woke up with a pounding head ache. I didn't remember much of what happened last night. I shot up, my eyes opening wide as I realized I had no idea if I was at home or where I was at. I relaxed seeing the familiar surroundings of my own bedroom. Then the searing pain from the sunlight and my sudden movement shot through my skull and I let out a groan. I looked to the digital clock on my bedside table and realized there was a glass of water, some aspirin and a note sitting there. Quickly taking the pills and chugging the water as another wave of pain pounded through my skull I snatched up the note. It was from Mamoru just letting me know that I had passed out so he brought me home. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, trying to remember what happened last night.

And then it all came crashing in. Getting drunk, walking around town, calling you. And I remembered the one sided conversation and I felt the pain welling in my chest. I bit back the first sob but the second one escaped and I collapsed to the shower floor, crying. I don't know how long I sat there but I was aware of when the hot water raining down on me turned to little ice bullets. I remember hearing someone knocking at the door and then hearing the phone ringing but I still just sat there. When my tears were finally spent I went back to the room we used to share and I fell onto the bed. I strained, trying to hear something that wasn't there anymore until I fell asleep.

I got nothing.

A/N: Ok! So that's the second one shot, this time from Haruka's POV. This one is for TinkaStar who requested an angsty song =) A huge thank you to those that reviewed and especially for all of the very nice things you all had to say! Please review this one as well. Please excuse any grammatical errors I may have missed and I hope to see you next time!

Caders Kinda Ghost